The Diary of Penny Cabot
Dear Diary,
We are moving.
Mother cries every time she has to go to her and Daddy's room.
-Penny Cabot
Dear Diary
I now reside in Houston, Texas.
There are no children on my street. Have immersed myself in my studies.
-Penny Cabot
Dear Diary,
Mother finally deemed it appropriate that I join a grade that holds my academic peers.
She put me in the fifth grade.
I found it highly illogical that she only finds me intelligent enough for the fifth grade. Must schedule a brain scan for her.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 1 of Fifth Grade
Joined the fifth graders today. Mrs. Graham placed me in the seat in front of Sheldon Cooper.
He laughed every time I answered a question. As did the other half of the class.
I detest the fifth grade.
The boy next to me tried to copy off my paper for our Mathematics test.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 5 of Fifth Grade
The imbecile that sits next to me pushed me in the lunch line and I spilled my red beans and rice all over Sheldon Cooper. Had to apologize to Sheldon Cooper.
Missy Cooper asked me if I would like her to punch Eric Gablehauser in the face.
I politely declined. Will extract my own form of revenge.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 6 of Fifth Grade
Missy invited me to play hopscotch with her today. I found myself playing despite needing to finish the homework of the Twelfth grader who pays me to write her papers.
I scraped my knee and was told by Sheldon that I was brave for not crying. I informed him it was illogical to cry because the teacher could get sued for hugging me. He looked at me oddly and walked off.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 7
Eric Gablehauser found several different species of beetles that Rajesh Koothrapalli from the third grade class just happened to lose.
They were in his desk.
Later Missy and Sheldon joined me in detention. Sheldon had a bit of a bruise on his jaw and Missy had a big grin on her face. Neither would explain to me how Sheldon had a bruise on his jaw.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 15 of Fifth Grade
Ate lunch with the Coopers. Sheldon tugged on my braid and asked if he could have my chocolate milk because they had been out in the lunch line.
Gave him my milk. Found this illogical later.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 23 of Fifth Grade
Went home with the Cooper's.
Have discovered I am allergic to cats.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 29 of Fifth Grade.
Eric Gablehauser pushed me into a mud puddle during recess. Ruined the shirt my dad had bought me. Sheldon punched him when I began to cry.
Missy gave me a hug and ruined her own shirt.
Sheldon got detention. Missy said a curse word in class to join him and gave me a look. I also cursed.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary
Day 36 of Fifth Grade.
Missy called me her best friend. Besides Sheldon. I said she was my best friend too, though I wasn't quite sure that I was.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary.
Day 47 of Fifth Grade.
Told Missy she was my best friend without prompting. Felt happy when she said the same back.
Sheldon has been ignoring me. It distresses me because I do not know why. He is also my best friend.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 52 of Fifth Grade.
Sheldon apologized and informed me he thought that I didn't want to be friends with him since I was best friends with Missy.
Informed him that he was a stupid-head and said you were allowed to have more than one best friend. He tugged on my braid and I was happy.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 76 of Fifth Grade
Sheldon needed help with his Mathematics. Helped him learn long division after school while Missy was at softball practice. Lucky was locked in Missy's room and their Meemaw makes the best sort of cookies.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 94 of Fifth Grade
Missy made bead bracelets for Sheldon and I. Mine said Jelly and I was confused. Missy informed me it was because the three of us could stick together like Peanut Butter and Jelly. I informed her that Peanut Butter was one thing.
Sheldon tugged on my braid and I told her it was okay though, because Sheldon and Missy are twins they could be Peanut and Butter.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 106 of Fifth Grade
Missy yelled at a girl for something she wouldn't tell me. She got detention.
I tripped Erik when he stood up to sharpen his pencil and Sheldon disrupted the class twice. We got detention. Sheldon tugged on my braid and I smiled at him.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 124 of Fifth Grade
Grandpa Laine died. I cried twice in class and let Sheldon and Missy hug me at recess.
Have decided to become a doctor.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 159 of Fifth Grade
We had to write a paper on our parents today.
Sheldon and Missy refused to.
I also voiced my refusal. I cry sometimes thinking of Daddy.
Missy said that my Daddy and their Mom and Dad are all in heaven.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 182 of Fifth Grade
Today was Sheldon and Missy's birthday. They were not in class but I was invited to their house after school.
They had a chocolate strawberry cake and Neapolitan ice cream. I ate the vanilla for them. Lucky was locked in Sheldon's room because I spent the night with Missy. We stayed up really late watching The Lion King in their living room and their Meemaw didn't mind.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 200 of Fifth Grade
We started a countdown until summer in class today. There are only seventy days left.
I am sad that I will not see Missy or Sheldon everyday. Missy said I was invited over to their house for the whole summer.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 215 of Fifth Grade.
Missy was sick today so it was just Sheldon and I at the lunch table. I gave him my chocolate milk and he gave me his plain milk. It was quiet at the table without Missy.
Sheldon agreed to playing hopscotch with me instead of kickball at recess and Eric Gablehauser called him a girl.
We both got detention because I kicked him and Sheldon punched him.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary,
Day 240 of Fifth Grade
There are only thirty more days of school.
I actually want to be in the sixth grade next year so I can stay friends with Missy and Sheldon.
This is highly illogical. Sheldon says lots of things are illogical, but that doesn't mean they can't be good.
I found myself agreeing.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary
Day 266 of Fifth Grade
Today is my birthday and Mother let me invite Missy and Sheldon over, even though she wanted to invite the rest of the class too.
I got a vanilla cake and Neapolitan ice cream so we could split it.
Mother wouldn't let them spend the night but we did get to watch The Little Mermaid even if Sheldon hated it. He tugged my braid when he left and Missy hugged me.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader
Dear Diary
Day 270 of Fifth Grade
There are Zero days left of the Fifth Grade.
Mrs. Graham said that each of us were angels, no matter what sort of trouble we got into. She looked at Sheldon, Missy and I when she said that. I thought she should have looked at Eric Gablehauser.
I went to Missy's game of softball and sat next to Sheldon and his Meemaw. She didn't have cookies with her but she did buy us lemon snowballs.
I think this summer will be a lot of fun.
-Penny Cabot, Fifth Grader