The Assassin Consort

Summary: A freak accident brought Nagisa Shiota to the world of Akame ga Kill where he got captured and was forced to become Esdeath's 'lover'. How will this modern day master assassin cope with his new environment?

AN: I don't know why I suddenly feel the urge to write this. The scenarios for this one were even more sketchy than my other one. Anyway, I find Esdeath's devotion to her subordinates and strange affectionate behaviors toward her lover to be interesting, cute and perhaps even touching. But here is the thing: I don't like Tatsumi. Of all the characters in AGK, he is the most uninteresting, worthless and undeserving (Well, by the anime standard at least. I never read the manga. Maybe he is better there…). That got me thinking: Is there anyone that could replace Tatsumi to be Esdeath's lover? One that fits her checklist? …Well, I find Nagisa Shiota had the potential to fit much of the criteria on her list and so this story was born. Not to mention Nagisa is just so cute and badass at the same time, which made him very interesting…

If you expect seriousness out of this fiction and/or lots of character deaths, stop and go read something else. This is meant to be a crack fic, and I don't like killing characters off. Because this is a crack fic, characters are going to have certain aspects of their characteristic stretched beyond their canon counterpart…

Chapter 1: The Fateful Encounter

Esdeath was flying over Fake Mountain on her pet dragon looking for something to kill and hopefully distract her from the deep frustration that had been creeping up at her lately. "Hmm, falling in love huh..." she murmured to herself. She didn't know why she suddenly came down with this strange urge. The Prime Minister said it was some kind of instinctual behavior that everyone would eventually encounter. Even so, it's quite a bothersome urge...

At far the side of one of the barren mountain, she spotted what seemed to be a strangely dressed blue haired woman with some sort of backpack being surrounded by what looked like four bandits. It's the rule that only the strong shall survive in this world, therefore she didn't think twice about leaving the woman to her own fate. She simply had her dragon dive down to another side of the mountain in search of her own prey.

"Argh, what the hell is it with this place!" said the 'strangely dressed blue haired woman' in frustration with a stun gun in hand. Four guys were lying unconscious on the ground surrounding the said 'woman'.

Nagisa Shiota, age eighteen, special agent in training and highly regarded as the next Shinigami, had been sitting inside a top secret government ran laboratory ready to began his lesson with a composite of a semi-resurrected Koro-sensei. What that really meant was Koro-sensei in a highly advance supercomputer. By using some of Koro-sensei's tentacle cells as a median, they were somehow able to reconstruct his former teacher inside a virtual world. From Nagisa's point of view, the result was more like seeing a ghost of his beloved teacher.

Anyway, he was ready to began another assassination lesson when, all of a sudden, warning sound was blaring all across the lab. Then a bright flash followed. When Nagisa became aware of his surrounding again, he was standing in the middle of a barren mountain. A little bit of walking later, he was surrounded by four strange guys wielding various weapons. The way those four guys were presenting themselves reminded Nagisa of some random bandit encounter from some old styled RPG. He tried to reason with them but to no avail. Force was ultimately used to render them harmless.

Hiking a little further up the mountain, he suddenly encountered a gorilla twice the size of an elephant. The first thing that came to Nagisa's mind was that Big Foot really does exist. Under normal circumstance, strange creatures popping up like this would render anyone into inaction, but Nagisa had seen enough weird stuff in his life. Something like this didn't really faze him, and so the second thing that came to his mind was, of course, getting the hell out of there! Nagisa turned tail and ran as if his life was depended on it, which of course was absolutely the case here as Big Foot seemingly wanted to eat him for lunch.

With 'Big Foot' hot on his tail, Nagisa ran while reaching for backpack. Retrieving a handgun from his backpack, he open fired on Big Foots in hopes of slowing down or killing the creature. Two of his shots were aimed at its kneecaps, another two were aimed at its eyes, and a few others were spaying at its general direction.

Esdeath was happily torturing some helpless creature she just caught when she suddenly heard gunshots. Curious, she left the half-dead creature to its own device and got back to her pet dragon. She flew in the direction where she heard those gunshots. On the way there, she discovered bodies lying on the ground. It was the previous bandits. All four were lying on the ground. She saw no wound from any of them which indicated they were probably alive. Ignoring those trash, she look further ahead and saw the same strangely dressed blue haired woman fighting a gorilla-type dangerous beast.

-N-N-

On the ground, Nagisa was standing his ground against the mutated 'Big Foot' (normal Big Foot was never said to be this big). Normally, he would just kept running, but there was only one path down this mountain and it would lead to those unconscious hooligans. Not wanting to get them involved, he decided to take on this 'King Kong Jr'. Not to mention, some of his bullets had hit their mark perfectly thus drastically reducing the creature's sight and mobility. He should have no problem disabling the creature if he did things right.

With a hunting-knife in hand, Nagisa waited for the creature to strike. Just then, the creature attempted to pound its prey with its fist. Predicting this however, Nagisa quickly dodge past the creature and got behind its legs and stabbed his knife right in the back of the beast's heel. Then just as quickly, he ran up the mountain trail, opposite to where the four incapacitated hooligans laid.

The infuriated dangerous beast turned back to its prey and ran after it. A few seconds later, however, its vision began to blur. Soon, it lost its footing and crash onto the ground, and its vision began to fade.

Seeing Big Foot finally collapsed, Nagisa breathed a sigh of relieve and put away his hunting knife. He got to thank Okuda-san for helping him with his arsenal of poisonous weapons, of which most were consist of tranquilizing weapons. He then pulled out his phone and took a photo of Big Foot while trying to see if he can get a signal out of it. Not surprisingly, there were no signal but at least he got a photo that proved Big Foot really did exist.

'Well, the day shouldn't get any worse than this,' he thought and was ready to leave the general area. Then, something dropped out of the sky...

-N-N-

"Hmm... poison, huh," Esdeath whispered. She watched the whole fight and was intrigued. At first glance, there was nothing special about the girl. Seeing the result, however, she had to admit she was wrong. Deciding to take a closer look, she jumped out of her dragon and dropped right onto the dangerous beast's chess, severely injuring it upon her landing but not enough to instantly kill it. It will surely die in due time, a painful and slow death, just how she liked it...

'What the hell is she, a terminator?!' Nagisa stood shell shocked as he watched a lone female figure emerged from 'King Kong Jr'. Forget about that pretty looking face she had, this woman just took out a super rare animal as if it was nothing and she did it with an inhuman drop from out of nowhere! From the speed of her insane drop, Nagisa concluded the being before him was no ordinary human, because no normal human being could have survive a fall like that! And the creepy smile combine with the amount of bloodstain she had after taking out 'Big Foot' sent chill up his spine. 'Not good...' he thought as he watched the female super soldier approached. The only silver lining to the entire situation was the human conscious wavelength coming from this superwoman was borderline in curiosity rather than anything else. Timidly he spoke, "Um..."

Esdeath stopped about a foot away from the blue haired person and observed. She blinked then narrowed her eyes. Finally, and with a straight face, she asked, "You are male, right?" Her instinct was telling her the person standing before was indeed a boy, but her visual was telling her otherwise... Confused, she decided to check it for herself.

"Huh?" came Nagisa's automatic response. Before he could come up with anything else, the woman got even closer to him and pulled his pants down. "Gah! What are you doing?!" Nagisa screamed on reflex (like a girl) and covered his private part with both hands. His face was all red with embarrassment.

"Interesting, come," said Esdeath and quickly put a leather collar around his neck. She then proceeded to drag the strange boy with her. Meanwhile, the boy was busy trying to fix his pants and struggling with it. His reaction was quite amusing. After all, it was just a pair of pants. What was the big deal having them pulled down anyway? Regardless, she sensed potential from him, and he hit many criteria of her 'checklist'. Despite it all, she was still not entirely sure... Well, she decided to keep him around for now and use the upcoming tournament to test him. If he really is as weak as she first thought, she'll feed him to the dogs after testing him with her new torturing technique...

Nagisa was struggling to keep up with 'superwoman' while trying to fix his pants. Finally, he managed to put his pants back together. Having a very bad feeling about his current predicament, he realized he had to get away from her and quickly too. Strength wise, however, he knew he was no match for her, and it didn't look like she can be reason with either. That left him with only one option: 'assassination'.

He followed along with her, waiting and observing. It didn't too take long before he found the gaps between her consciousness. Taking a chance, he performed the Shinigami 'Clap Stunner' on her. He then followed it with a stun gun to her neck. Without even looking to see if he had knocked her out, Nagisa ran.

Esdeath saw the strange device in the boy's hand. She saw the device was aiming for her neck. Normally, she would have no problem evading it and followed it up with a counter, teaching her assailant a lesson in messing with her. The problem, however, was that she found her body unable to respond to her command. Somehow, her ability to react had been compromised, and it was done with a simple clap of hands. Soon enough, the boy's device reached her neck and gave her one hack of a jolt.

The ice general managed to take the hit while standing, but it took her two full seconds to regain control of her body. Furious at first, she started looking around for the boy. He was nowhere in sight. Somehow, he managed to get away during that short period of time. After a few seconds of calming down, a rather cruel smile dominated her face. 'There was something to the boy after all,' she thought, somewhat excited. 'It'll be fun hunting him down.'

"I am truly sorry I attacked you back there, um, but I mean you no harm... Could you please let me go? Um, look Esdeath-san, I still got classes to ooph-" Nagisa was carried like a sack of potato and then thrown into some sort of holding cell by the strange woman who introduced herself earlier as Esdeath.

"Nagisa-kun, there is a tournament coming up soon. I'll have you participate in the final round, and I shall assess your performance. Should you lose, I'll chop you up to pieces and then feed you to the dogs; so if you want to survive, show me your strength," said Esdeath, smiling and ignoring everything the strange boy said. It had taken her a while, but she tracked him down eventually and captured him. Despite what she just said to the boy, her feeling for him was still very mixed. Perhaps she might consider keeping him around even if he loses... Then again, she really shouldn't get ahead of herself. Nonetheless, she had quite a fun hunting experience with this boy, and her words just now should motivate him to give his best. 'I guess I'll just see how well he does at the tournament before deciding what to do with him,' she thought amusingly as she left the boy in a dark holding cell.

Chapter End

Omake

"What was that bright flash, Koro-sensei?" asked Nagisa.

"Fuufuufuu, it appears their little experiment failed yet again."

"You mean that teleportation device they keep talking about?"

"Correct. By fully analyzing ones body down to the atomic level, one could, in theory, create a perfect copy of the subject in another location."

"Every time I heard that explanation, I feel like this is more like a cloning experiment."

"Well, the original body was supposed to be destroyed after the second body was created so that's what they mean by teleport."

"...Again I would never step into one of those device, ever! I mean if anything goes wrong during the process, the repercussion would be dire."

"Relax, Nagisa-kun; they are a long way from making it work."

-N-N-

Meanwhile...

"What the hell is this?!" another version of Nagisa Shiota shouted inside some dungeon, staring at the four new appendages sticking out of his hair...

AN: That was the first chapter. Like my other one, I don't know when I'll stop. You are welcome to continue this story on your own. In fact, I will appreciate it if you do. If you find any idea amusing and want to incorporate it in your own story, by all means. Copy it to your hearts content. You don't need to tell me. Also, I know my grammar is bad, but lecturing me on that is pointless. I will mostly ignore you.

Next chapter, Nagisa will be using various 'skills' to escape and Wave will be so…confused. Hahaha…