Author: DannyNSamGirl
Fic: First Time
Pairing: Daniel/Shelley
Rating: NC17 for sex romantic sex
Word Count: 3,375
Summary: Shelley is insecure in her relationship with Daniel

Shelley looked down at the picture. He'd been keeping it in his drawer for god knows how long. She didn't know why she had looked at it. Now, she couldn't stop. Shar're had been so beautiful and Shelley felt plain in comparison. She held the picture in her hand, unable to take her eyes off it, off the women that had Daniel's love before her. Even now, Shelley wasn't sure that she had. There was something at the back of her mind that kept telling her that he couldn't possible be interested in her. She was so plain and boring. When Daniel had first met Shar're she was exotic and mysterious. Shelley had been this computer geek that had no life outside her work. Now here she was some 4 months later looking at the women she envied, a woman who had been dead for more than 2 years. She couldn't help the way she felt.

Shelley placed the picture back down on the dresser next to the bed, turning. Daniel stood in the doorway. She hadn't even heard him creep up behind her.

'What are you doing?' He said.

She turned back, not wanting him to see her.

'Nothing. I was just...'

But he wasn't buying into her lies.

'What is it?' He asked, moving towards her.

Daniel stood next to her, looking down at the picture of his dead wife.

'Where did you get this?' He asked.
'I didn't mean to. I...'
'Its ok. I just haven't seen it for a while. Since...she the other one hurt you.'

Daniel looked down at the picture. He turned back, expecting to see Shelley standing behind him, but she was gone.

'Shelley.' He called out.

But she didn't respond. Daniel headed out in to the main room of his apartment. Shelley stood in the middle of the kitchen, putting on her coat.

'Where are you going?' He asked.

Shelley looked up at him, in surprise.

'Home.'
'Why? I thought we were going to have dinner.'
'I can't. I just have to be by myself for a while.'
Daniel moved towards her, but she pulled away.

'Please Daniel. Just let me go.'

Daniel shook his head.

'Not until you tell me why.'

He stood in front of her, waiting and finally realising why.

'Is this because of that photograph?' He asked.

But she didn't have to say anything, he knew deep down.

'I've already put it back.'
'Its not the picture Daniel.'
'Then why? I don't understand.'

Shelley rushed past him, heading back in to the bedroom, searching for the photograph.
He appeared at her side.

'Look at her.'

Daniel shook his head.

'I still don't understand.'

'She was beautiful. I'm just a nothing.'

Daniel snatched the picture from her, placing back in to the drawer.

'You're wrong Shelley. How can you say that?'

He took her hand, moving her towards a mirror in the far corner of the room. They stood in front of it, Daniel still holding her hand.

'Can't you see how beautiful you are?'

Shelley shook her head.

'No.' She whispered.

Her reflection looked back at them. Daniel reached up, un-doing the band in her hair. It fell around her shoulders, coming to a stop a quarter of the way down her back. But she still couldn't see it. She still felt like that computer geek she hated. Her green eyes starred back at her, piercing through the glass. She was the only O'Neill woman not to have brown eyes. She knew why of course, because her mother wasn't a real O'Neill and neither was she. Shelley reached up her hand, touching her scar, just about her forehead. The one left be the clone as she tried to bash in her head.

'I can't see it.' She said.

Suddenly Shelley smiled as Daniel came in to view. Now she understood.

'Its you.' She said.
'No its not. Stop it.' he shouted, turning her back to face him. 'Why are you doing this?'
'Because its the truth.' She said.

Shelley moved to the opposite side of the room.

'It's the truth Daniel. Shar're was so beautiful.'

She saw him moving towards her, reaching out his hand.

'Yes she was. But you have to understand something, Shelley.'
'What?'

Daniel held her hand softly.

'She's not you.'
'But she was beautiful.'
'So are you.' He said.

There didn't seem to be anything he could say that would make her change for her mind.

'Why are you doing this? You always seemed so confident before.'
'Well,' she said. 'I guess you can never really know a person, do you?'

And she turned, disappearing in to the living room.

'Shelley.' Daniel shouted.

She stopped, mid stride, turning around.

'Tell me what's going on.'

'Why me?' she asked. 'Out of everyone you could have chose, why me? Why not Sam? She's gorgeous.'

Daniel shook his head in disbelief.
'For a start, Sam's my friend. And it's you Shelley, there's no one else.'
'But why?' She shouted back.

Daniel was confused and didn't understand.

'Because you're smart, funny, beautiful.'

Shelley winced at the sound of it.

'Don't say that.'

'What, that you're beautiful. But you are.' Daniel said.

Shelley shook her head, refusing to believe him.

'No.'

He moved closer, slowly.

'It's true Shelley. From that first moment I saw you in the briefing room, I knew we were meant to be together.'

'I felt the same way.'

Daniel smiled as he began to remember.

'Nothing has changed since that day. You're as beautiful to me now than you were then. Remember, you sat next to me in the briefing room.'
'I remember. I've never met anyone like you.' She said. 'My previous relationships have been less than, normal. I don't want to get hurt.'

He shook his head.

'I'd never hurt you.'

Daniel held her hand, pulling her towards him.

'I couldn't imagine ever wanting to hurt you.'

Shelley smiled, looking up at him. His soft hand in hers as he pulled her slowly back towards the bedroom. Shelley followed behind him, knowing what was going to happen next and not hesitating for a moment.

They entered the bedroom together, still holding hands. Daniel smiled at her, wanting her to know how beautiful he thought she was. She stood in front of him, unsure of what to do next. It had been such a long time. She'd never met anyone like Daniel before. He could make her feel so special even when she felt like hell. And today was one of those days. It had been happening more frequently recently. She did know why, but wasn't ready to tell Daniel yet. She couldn't take the chance of him rejecting her. The last thing she wanted was another rejection. Shelley wanted to feel loved again, to be loved by Daniel. But she had to be sure. She loved him so much that at times it overwhelmed her. Shelley never knew that could possible feel this way again after all she had been through in her life. Those five years away from her family had been the worst years of her life. At the age of 19, two years before Charlie's death. A chain of events had been put into place that would affect the cause of her life. That was up until this moment. She was sure that everything that had happened before would disappear and that she would be able to forget about her past and concentrated on her future. The future Shelley always wanted. Even to be happy for a while with someone she loved and with someone who loved her. At this moment there was no other place she wanted to be, other than to be with him, for him to be the first one in the morning to say her name. To see that smile, making her feel better when she had a rough day. Making her realise that not everything and everyone in life was bad. Daniel looked at her, trying to work out what she was feeling. Hoping that it was the same as he was. He pulled her close, holding her softly, not wanting to let go. There had been no one serious in his life since Shar're had died and had believed that he would never find anyone again. But that all changed when he had met his friends little sister. That first kiss had been building up for three days and he had let go of his past. They had instantly connected. Even those first few hours, Daniel had felt, had known, that there was this growing bond between them. They had talked for so many hours about nothing in particular. Just being with her had been enough. Now that was about to change. He wanted more than to be with her, to see her standing next to him. Daniel wanted to feel her body next to his, to smell her skin as she lay besides him. He needed her so much and loved her so much that he had been afraid to tell her in case he had scared her away. Shelley moved slowly back towards the bed, still holding on to him as though her life depended on it. He laid her down on the bed, following her.

'You're so beautiful.' He whispered.

This time she didn't say anything. Her eyes close as she felt Daniel slowly unbuttoning her blouse. Shelley rose from the bed in anticipation, waiting, wanting him in side her. She opened her eyes and for a brief moment she didn't see his face looking back at her. A tear rolled down her face, then another and another. She slipped from beneath him, moving off the bed and adjusting her blouse.

'What's wrong?' He asked.

'I. Can't.' She muttered.

Daniel managed to grab her hand before she moved away.

'It's ok. We don't have to. I just thought that you wanted...'
'I do. You know I do.'

The tears began to flow freely down her face and she hesitated, deciding not to wipe them
away.

'What happened?' Daniel asked.

Shelley turned around, loosening her blouse, letting it fall below her shoulder. Then he saw it, a tattoo of an angel. He moved closer, trying to get a better look. There was something else, something underneath it.

'It's a scar.' He said.

Shelley nodded, turning back.

'A gift from my ex.' She said, pulling her blouse back up.

Daniel reached out for her. Shelley couldn't stop the tears. She sat down on the floor of
the bedroom, a nervous wreck.

'I tried to stop him. I tried to get away. Then Jack found out about him.'

Daniel sat besides her; ready to hold her if she needed him.

'What did he do?'

'He blamed him self. He'd just joined the AF after leaving the academy. Jack introduced us.
I was so scared. When I tried to end it, he wouldn't leave me alone.'

She moved closer towards him, wanting him to make it better.

'It was all my fault. When he found out what he'd done, he went crazy and put him in hospital. Jack was court marshalled.'
'What happened to him?' Daniel asked.
'He spent three months in a military prison because of me.'
'He did it to protect you. I'd have killed him.' Daniel said, meaning every word.

Thinking about what Shelley had been through made him feel sick inside. He knew that she had a bad relationship in the past, but never expected anything like this. Daniel would have killed him. In fact, he wanted to kill him now, to make him understand what it felt like. He wanted to protect her, to take the pain away for her, if she would let him. Daniel looked at her, wiping the tears away with his hand. But still, more came. She fell in to him. Daniel held her as she sobbed in his arms.

'I'll never hurt you.' He whispered. 'I love you.'
Shelley pulled back slowly, looking up at him, catching him off guard. She touched his lips softly with her finger, then replacing it with hers, kissing him. Her body rose, kneeling in front of him.

'I want you.' She whispered.

Daniel looked at her, unsure that it was really what she wanted.

'We don't have to.' He said.

He held her in his arms. Scared, that if he let her go she would disappear from his life
forever.

'I know.'

The two of them stood, still staring at each other. Daniel held her hand tightly, leading her back towards the bed. He sat on the bed, waiting for her. Shelley's heart began pounding in side her chest, beating faster with every passing second. She knelt on the bed, towering upright over him. They had been both waiting for this moment for so long. But despite Shelley's hesitation neither wanted to stop. Daniel looked up at her, looking in to her eyes.

'We don't have too, if you don't want too.'
'I know. Its ok.' She whispered.
'If I ever meet him Shelley, I'll kill him for what he did to you.'
'Sssh.'

She said, placing her fingers on his lips.

'I don't want to think about him. That's over. Its just that its been a long time since I...'
'Do you trust me?' Daniel asked.

Shelley nodded.

'Always.'
'I won't hurt you.'

She felt his hand under her blouse, moving upward, pushing it slowly off her shoulders. Daniel felt her body next to his as he kissed her, tasting her. He kissed her neck, moving up, meeting her lips. Daniel looked at her, not understanding why she didn't believe she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

'I've wanted to make love to you for so long.' He said.

Shelley smiled.

'I know. I wanted you to.'

Daniel waited for a moment, sure that there was going to be a 'but' on the end of her sentence. But there was nothing. She leaned in to him, still smiling. Her hands reached up, removing his glasses.

'I don't want them to get broken.' She said.

Daniel laughed, looking up at her. His laughter quietened as he stood up, lifting her up with him. Her heart began to beat faster and faster again. It all ways did when he smiled at her. They had never been this close before. She felt his arms around her as he kissed her. But this wasn't like the others. In an instant Shelley knew that this was going to happen. She could feel herself giving in with every passing second. Shelley wanted him to make love to her, to be the first for over a year, to be her only one from now on. She couldn't imagine her life without him any more, to feel the touch of his hand in hers. He laid her on the bed, an action replay of what happened earlier. Now Shelley was sure.

'Make love to me.' She whispered.

Neither could wait any longer. Both could feel the passion between them growing.
Everything seemed so peaceful, so quiet. All he could hear was the sound of her breathing. He felt her soft warm body moving slowly beneath him, moving with her, together. A sheet from the bed draped over them. A light from the street lamp outside bathed the room in a soft light, casting their shadows on the wall. Daniel wanted her to see herself through his eyes. To see how beautiful she was. He hadn't taken his eyes off her for the last half an hour. They lay together, taking it slowly. Making every touch, every kiss last. Shelley felt as though she was at peace with her self. That being with Daniel made her feel clean again. It scared her to think that she could give so much of her self to someone. Her fingers ran down his back, stopping half way down, wanting him closer to her. To feel everything he felt. Daniel couldn't stop kissing her. He'd found that one place on her neck that had made her giggle when he had kissed her. That soft spot that made her toes curl and made her body scream out for him. He kissed her, biting her lip, an almost child like smile appearing on his face. Shelley smiled back, responding to his every kiss. Her arm fell back on to the bed besides her. Her hand reaching out grabbing the bed sheet, squeezing it as hard as she could, dragging it towards her. The only thing she could do to stop her self from screaming. But she hadn't wanted to spoil the moment. Daniel's hand slipped in to hers, holding it tightly. He raised it above her head. Shelley sighed, the only sound she'd made. She kissed him, feeling the passion between them beginning to escalate. They had been in perfect sync with each other the entire time. He looked down at her stopping for a brief second as the moment intensified. Her eyes stared back at him, seeing a wanting, a needing in his eyes. Knowing that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Their breathing increased, not being able to hold back any longer and not wanting too. Daniel kissed her again, each kiss more soft and passionate than before. Shelley felt his hand pushing against hers, an indication of how close they were becoming.

'Daniel.' She whispered, a sound of urgency in her voice.

He'd never heard his name sound so beautiful as when she spoke it. Daniel smiled at her,
letting go of everything he felt in side. His hand opened, but still clasped in hers, pulling it back down as she felt it. That feeling of total ecstasy in side her. Letting her know how much he loved her. That sweet smile appeared on his face again. His lips touched hers, gently caressing her bottom lip, holding it until the moment past. He felt her hand slip from his. Shelley reached up, holding his face in her hand. He leaned over, kissing her forehead. Their heads touched, looking directly in to each other's eyes. Shelley moved slowly, turning on her side. Daniel lay behind her, his arms still holding on to her tightly, feeling her soft skin under the silk bed sheet with his fingers. Shelley had never felt anything like this before. It had been so perfect. He had been so perfect, so loving, and so tender. Shelley felt his breath on her neck as he searched for that special place again, her special place. Daniel kissed her, hoping to get the same reaction as before. She laughed again, not meaning too. He noticed the tattoo on her shoulder again and kissed it.

'My beautiful angel.' He whispered.

Shelley smiled to her self, feeling a serenity she had never experienced before. Daniel rested his head on her shoulder, still holding her tightly in his arms.

'I love you.' He said.

Shelley's head turned back as far as she could, looking back at him.

'I know.'

He kissed the top of her shoulder, smiling. Shelley felt his hand in hers again. Her eyes began to close, not being able to stop them.

Shelley hadn't known how long she had been asleep and wasn't entirely sure if it had happened or if she had dreamed it. Her head rose slowly. There he was, lying besides her, his arms still draped around her. She lay besides him, her head resting on his chest. Shelley sighed, remembering every moment that had just shared. Her eyes began to close again. Shelley didn't feel the need to stay awake any longer. The fear of waking up and not seeing him next to her had faded away in to nothing. Shelley had always hoped to find someone, but never imagined anyone like Daniel would come in to her life. Sometimes she believed it was all a dream that she didn't want to wake up from. She had already been through her nightmare. Now she was finally waking up to her new reality, her ideal world. But it wasn't a dream. It was real. Their love for each other was real. And had been ever since she had walked in to the briefing room at the SGC.