'Party girls don't get hurt
Can't feel anything, when will I learn
I push it down, push it down.' Chandelier - SIA
The first time it happened, she pretended it didn't bother her. She was fine. They were just being boys, it was completely understandable. The second and the third time, she told herself it was cute, it was because they cared. It was a good thing, wasn't it? The fourth, fifth, and sixth time, they bleed for her. She could do nothing but look away from danger's way, the drops of their blood hit the ground. After the tenth time she stopped counting. She tried, she could honestly say she tried. But all her appeals and cries were unheard. They told her she was being silly, they just didn't want her to be hurt. She didn't have the heart to tell them she was already hurt. She had come so far, she had accomplished so much under Tsunade's tutelage, she was second, only to her tutor. Second Medic-nin, and Poisons dealer in the world. Her entry in the bingo book said that. But it wasn't enough in their eyes. She'd always be fragileand naïveSakura to them. She was ashamed to say that in front of that wall, she gave up for some time.
"Are you sure you want to do this Sakura?" Tsunade asked. Her hands were poised above her chin, allowing her eyes to grave every little detail on her pupil's face. She knew where that came from, she was not blind, even if she was drunk. The nights she spend drinking her sorrows away, now, had the presence of her quiet pink daughter. She was the daughter Tsunade never had, and would never have. She didn't approve the girl's decidion. But it wasn't her choice. She taught her how to be a woman. How to make the right calls. Besides, the girl looked miserable, in front of her dearest teammates she looked like your average Sakura, she still chastised Naruto every time he went a little overboard, as far as Tsunade knew, she came to terms with the redemption of Sasuke Uchiha, she sometimes lost her patience with Sai, but that was to be expected, there was just so many minutes you could bear his open mouth. She respected and considered Kakashi more than was health. She looked up to him, but Tsunade was proud to know, that was by her hands, that nurtured and cared for her that she had grown. The girl was a pearl. From politics to pain civilian issues, she could talk like no one. She was second only to her own tutor, Tsunade herself, and she had more poisons under the codename of Sakuya, quite a few of them were used by ANBU. That's why the girl's proposition didn't make any sense.
"You are aware that you'll have to tell them, right? They're going to be disappointed, need I point this out?" Tsunade felt the need to put her 5 cents. It was just… frustrating. She just knew how much paperwork this was going to take.
"I'm aware. Hokage-sama." 'So we're back to the title now, uh?' She watched the girl fight herself mentally. She knew she didn't have to worry, Sakura was a fighter. She'd make it through. Maybe she'd make Shizune buy her some sake later.
"Very well, sign these papers. And go. I have a lot of things to do. You deal with the consequences later, I'm not going to tell you what they are, you already know." Dismissing the girl Tsunade eased the migraine already forming on her temples. What a crazy ass week. First Sasuke Uchiha came willingly back. Then, Danzo had tried to kill the boy, which gave her the opportunity to finish the harpy once for all. The fight was tough, but she was anything if not, the last Sannin. Tsunade liked to believe that the village had changed its colors. The last old grumps had been shoved away to give place to new flesh. Which much to her amusement included her pupil. She had been chosen as the representative figure to the non-affiliated kunoichi in Konoha. It had been a surprise, but then again, maybe not. Sakura was the perfect example of perseveration for kunoichi, they were often let aside in favor of their male counterpart. It was sad and even after so many years of trying, and failing to give the kunoichi more respect, thing like this happened.
Sakura was beyond livid the moment she left Tsunade's. How many times would people ask her if she was sure? Was Sakura not an analytic soul? She always used the statics to her favor;
'Whatever, we can just drool it now, and worry later. It's not like we won't have a lot of time in our hands already.'Inner said. Sakura had been keeping a close eye at herself to make sure Tsunade wouldn't notice the change in her behavior. Sometimes her heartbeats would go frantic, and her eyes would gloss over when someone was speaking, as if her mind was on a complete different place. She was used to hide it, but due to her insecurities, anxiety, paranoia, and all that little phobias she used to have, simply bloom stronger than ever inside her mind, she wasn't completely sure of herself.
Sighing she decided to head to a bar, the sun latched its last tentacles on the horizon, it was time to drink herself dead. Procrastinate was her favorite word, she decided.