The True Curse

by Kylarileiza

In which Tomoyo tries to get Kurogane to understand the nature of curses and magic for everybody's sake. There are patterns involving his magician friend and Mokona is just along for the ride.

(A/N: There's just magic with Kurogane and Fai in the series, it's not something I've yet to come across in another series. So I'm just gonna be envious of CLAMP's amazing storytelling abilities and happy they're sharing their stories! Fanfic inspired by a comment I saw on youtube, lol. I like to think this isn't AU, but if you come across story errors, just pretend it's AU!

Eh, two car wrecks in one week, I wonder who has the true curse here. To think nothing for years and boom within three days, wtf. It could be worse, though, I could be Subaru. LOL)

MANY SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES; POST MANGA

The True Curse.

Tomoyo sat primly, knees tucked underneath her, hands folded in her lap. Kurogane was sitting in a more relaxed position, several feet away, back against the wall, cross legged and trying not to let his annoyance at being summoned flash across his face. He could only imagine what the princess might want to summon him for- perhaps a battle, adventure, or something less exciting, which he was finding himself on the receiving end of more and more, much to his displeasure. After the journey ended, after Syaoran and Sakura returned to their home countries in their home worlds, not much was left to do except for Kurogane to return to his because he knew Princess Tomoyo would be there. He dragged Fai along with him, the smiling yet unwilling companion like always and Mokona, for whatever reason, was granted permission to stay with Fai for the time being. Yuuko allowed it after hearing Mokona's tearful pleas. Kurogane was positive the pork bun only hung around to irritate him, there was no reason for it to come along.

Fai protested, of course. His plan had been to wander through worlds aimlessly, keeping everyone at an arm's length. Kurogane had been surprised when Fai requested not to be sent to Sakura's world despite the princess requesting his presence. Kurogane had honestly expected Sakura to put up more of a fight because Fai had a close bond with her, but she had just simply nodded in understanding and not pushed the subject. The air had been tense as Yuuko waited for Fai's answer, after all, where else could he go? Celes was destroyed and, for whatever reason, Yuuko had informed Fai that he could not work at the shop, much to Mokona's disappointment and anger. Fai was unsurprisingly good-natured about it, laughing it off, saying he would likely just upset customers anyway to which Mokona's ears had drooped and she muttered his name sadly and Kurogane remembered his own chest feeling horribly tight- were they all just willing to kick the magician to the curb after everything? No, Kurogane couldn't have that and his heart had nearly jumped out of his chest when Fai explained to all of his companions that he just planned to hop world to world and see if he could help anyone, not planning to stay long. He refused to say why he wouldn't go with Sakura and Yuuko refused to say why she wouldn't let him work in her shop. Angrily and defiantly, Kurogane announced to everyone that Fai would be joining him in Nihon. Fai's face had been the picture of absolute surprise while Sakura and Syaoran had simply looked on knowingly, not at all surprised by this announcement, much more perceptive than the ninja liked. Mokona had jumped up and down excitedly and pleaded, begged Yuuko to let her join Kurogane and Fai because the little pork bun just loved being around them.

"Is this okay with you?" Yuuko had asked Fai and Kurogane still felt some anger flare up within when he recalled the hesitant and guarded look Fai had shot him. Yuuko herself put forth a guarded aura and Kurogane just thought he might die from all the ridiculousness. Really, why didn't they just speak what was on their mind, instead of pussyfooting around? The feathers were done, the Princess and the kid were okay despite everything; even their clones were in good spirits now. The Witch was hardly one to hold back and it had put Kurogane slightly on edge that she was being so ambivalent but not enough to renege on his idea. Even now, he was sure Fai had only accepted to assuage Sakura's worry over him, she had looked Kurogane straight in the eye and very seriously commanded him to look after the magician. Kurogane had to fight to not roll his eyes, after all, did she forget that he had literally chopped off an arm to save the guy? Still, there had been something in her eyes that Kurogane couldn't figure out and had assured her he would take care of the mage.

Kurogane shot another annoyed look at his own princess, the one he served above all else, Tomoyo, still silent, sitting with her hands in her lap, only glancing up at him occasionally. Since Kurogane had returned to Nihon, with the magician and the pork bun in tow, he had been delegated to rather boring tasks, even refusing to do some because the thought of being merely a gopher put him to shame and made him want to puke. He wasn't sure why he was being given such tasks; sure, if he had come back with weaker characters, he could understand. However, he had brought back one of the most powerful magicians he'd encountered in all his journeys and a little meat bun that produced magic, really, what more could Tomoyo want? Kurogane himself had commanded both Mokona and Fai to use whatever magic they had to create a protective barrier around Tomoyo's living quarters, which both had happily obliged. Tomoyo had been annoyed at first, thanking the two, but later scolding Kurogane in private. He didn't understand, why wouldn't she want to be protected and if Fai and Mokona were willing to offer up powerful spells, why would one not take advantage of it. Tomoyo had simply shook her head and smiled sadly, stating that he really didn't understand what he was asking of them. Both Fai and Mokona had no complaints, though, Kurogane had even gone out of his way to ask them if the spells were a wear on their bodies and both just shot him puzzled looks like he had sprouted a second head.

Yet here he sat, positive Tomoyo was about to send him on another ridiculous mission; last time he'd been tasked with acquiring groceries, a mission he had dubbed too droll to bother with and he was so glad he'd gotten Fai and Mokona to come along because it was those two who had gone out and gotten the groceries. Not only did they complete their mission successfully but they were laughing about it, happy about it, finding it to be fun.

Tomoyo cleared her throat and Kurogane's eyes snapped over to her, his memories of the recent past receding away as he waited for her to speak. She smoothed her kimono again and hesitantly started, "Kurogane. You've always been so very loyal to me." Kurogane shifted uncomfortably; what an odd way to start out a request, she must be preparing to ask something incredibly unusual but there was such a seriousness to her voice that he couldn't ignore it. Tomoyo continued, unaware of his inner thoughts that were flying around wildly. "I know I can trust you with my life." Kurogane agreed immediately, murmuring a light always before she continued on, "But I need to ask. What are your feelings towards your travelling companion?"

Kurogane shot her a confused look, not quite understanding. "Which one? The magician or the lump of meat?"

Tomoyo giggled at Kurogane's brashness. "I suppose both. But, for our purposes right now, I'm speaking about Fai."

Kurogane shifted uncomfortably, not particularly liking where this conversation was heading. "I'm loyal to you, Princess Tomoyo. The magician and the pork bun both are, too. They will do anything you ask."

Tomoyo shook her head slightly. "You mean they will do anything you ask," she surmised dryly. "It just so happens that you have my best interests at heart."

"What are you saying?" Kurogane didn't keep the gruffness out of his tone, hoping it covered up the unsettling feeling that was beginning to gnaw at the pit of his stomach; he desperately wished Tomoyo would just bestow upon him some boring mission instead of this lead-in to a very serious conversation that Kurogane was not prepared to have.

"I wonder, what would you do if he decided to not be loyal to me one day?" Tomoyo asked softly, a lilt in her voice, eyes facing away from Kurogane. He responded immediately as expected.

"That would never happen." He spoke with confidence as if it were a fact as sure as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. The possibility wasn't even imaginable to him. Tomoyo shut her eyes tightly for a moment before opening them back up and staring resolutely out the nearby window, cherry blossoms dancing in the wind, so carefree.

"He is loyal to you, Kurogane, as is the Mokona, or 'pork bun' as you disrespectfully refer to her as. They are only loyal to me because you are." What could she say to make him understand? She thought about the visit she received from Fai just a few days before and how anguished he'd been. Kurogane didn't understand.

Kurogane smirked, "She likes when I call her pork bun even if she won't admit it." He crossed his arms and huffed a bit. "And what's the big deal? Ninja in the past have had people loyal to them and, in turn, loyal to the one they are loyal to. I don't see what the issue is."

Tomoyo nodded in understanding. "Yes, of course, that is true, but in normal circumstances. These are rather extraordinary don't you think?" She glanced over at the ninja and he only shrugged in return. She sighed lightly. "Kurogane, you never actually answered the question. What are your feelings towards Fai?"

Kurogane averted his eyes away from the princess, trying not to squirm under such scrutiny. Tomoyo stared at him, waiting patiently for an answer, while he struggled to find one. What were his feelings towards the mage? It's not like he sat around thinking about feelings, after all, what did she mean exactly? Why was she even asking? He sighed finally. "He's annoying and full of self-doubt and self-deprecation but he means well. He has a good heart."

Tomoyo allowed a small smile. "That's your feelings towards him?"

"I don't know what you mean."

Tomoyo shook her head before tilting it just slightly, trying not to look as confused as she felt. "Kurogane, you chopped your arm off for him without hesitation, you agreed to become bait for him without hesitation, every time he tried something, you were there, grabbing him and holding him back, and yet these are your feelings? Are you really that selfless?" Did such a person exist? It seemed unlikely and Tomoyo could easily see through him.

Kurogane flinched. "I never said I was selfless." He was honorable, yes, but selfless? To obtain such a virtue, was it even truly possible? Even those that were considered selfless, wasn't there always some kind of hidden agenda if one dug deep enough? Something they were trying to make up for, something they were being awarded for? Even if it was just the feeling of feeling good, could any one person claim to be truly selfless?

"Then what are your feelings?" Tomoyo repeated her question again. She could still recall Fai's panicked face when he had finally been able to corner her alone and nearly hysterically demand that she send him away to where Kurogane couldn't follow; but it had to be her idea and not his. She remembered asking why and he countering with she knew why and she did, she wasn't able to deny it. The why was the same reason Yuuko wouldn't allow Fai to work in the shop, it was the same reason Fai wanted to travel solo between dimensions and vanish before much time had passed, it was the reason Tomoyo sat here now, grilling an irritated Kurogane.

"What exactly do you mean by this question?" Kurogane asked, annoyance loud and clear in his voice.

"Do you love him?" Tomoyo asked bluntly. Kurogane bristled at the forwardness of the question. Did he love...Fai?

"My loyalty and love lay with you," he responded automatically, trying to push other thoughts out of his mind.

"All my ninja are loyal to and love me," Tomoyo murmured softly. "But that's not what I asked." She decided to try a new tactic, since Kurogane was clearly avoiding the issue at hand. "What if he left here? What would you do then?"

Kurogane wasn't impressed with this new scenario. "And where would he go? He can't go to his own country because that world was closed off. For some reason, he wants to avoid the other princess and the kid's world, and the witch won't have him in her shop, so his choices are rather limited."

"Are they? He still has transport magic, he could go to another world rather easily, it's not like his choices are only limited to three or four worlds," Tomoyo pointed out, reminding Kurogane of the strength Fai possessed, something the ninja was loathe to admit he sometimes forgot.

"Why are you asking me these questions?" Kurogane demanded roughly, unbidden emotions rising up within him and he worried he might punch the wall or throw a sword and he didn't want to upset the princess. He preferred to retain his calm demeanor. "What are you really trying to get at?" He knew she was asking him these questions because she had to be going somewhere he wouldn't like with them.

Tomoyo sighed and locked gazes with him. She remembered Fai's eyes and how utterly sad and defeated they were when she confirmed that she knew why he didn't want to stay. She recalled how his voice had shook when he questioned if she'd seen it in her dreams and she remembered so vividly his reaction after she whispered that she had. Poor Fai. He had cried and cried until he was dry heaving and all Tomoyo could do was offer up comfort and tell him that dreams didn't always come true. That was when the begging was stepped up a notch and Fai opened up his own portal but only stopped when Tomoyo had interceded, begging him not to leave, not yet, not like this; how unfair that would be to both Kurogane and Mokona. They loved him and thought of him in high regard, there was possibly something deeper there with Kurogane unless he truly was the most selfless, self-sacrificing person in the world, which wasn't an entirely impossible notion. Against his better judgement, Fai halted his magic portal and promised he wouldn't leave yet, but that he would soon. He knew Kurogane and Mokona would be against him leaving so he told her that he likely would say nothing and just be gone even if it pained him to bring that kind of agony to his two companions, but he truly believed if he stayed he would bring much greater pain to not only them but everyone else, Princess Tomoyo included.

She wished she could say she rushed to assure him that it wasn't true, that there was no way he'd bring anyone pain here. She wished for that because she didn't and she couldn't because she knew the truth to the words he spoke. Maybe Kurogane and Mokona both missed the lesson in Celes, maybe they were too focused on everything else, there had been so much happening at once, it would be easy to forget it or even dismiss it despite the pattern. The pattern that had been so apparent to Sakura, Yuuko, and Tomoyo. Perhaps if Mokona or Kurogane were royalty they would have picked up on the pattern immediately. Her eyes studied Kurogane carefully as she slowly asked the question that tasted like dirt, the words feeling near painful as she voiced them into existence, "If I were to be the one in Ashura's position, I wonder who would you save? Me or Fai?"

Horror immediately etched itself into Kurogane's expression. "What do you mean, Princess Tomoyo? You would never be like that man. He-he," and Kurogane wanted so badly to shout terrible things about that king who had so badly hurt Fai. But the memories of Fai's life he and Syaoran had been exposed to popped up in his mind. Ashura rescuing the child Fai from the horror that had been Valeria, that absolute nightmare that sometimes Kurogane himself lost sleep over when he recalled the memory, trying to shove it out of his mind, refusing to give any weight to some of the words and beliefs that had set the whole thing into motion. "It would never happen," he said with finality because he didn't want to hear any more of it.

"What if I told him to leave?"

If possible, Kurogane looked even more horrified. "Why would you do that? It would never come down to you or Fai, Princess Tomoyo, he is totally loyal to you."

"As he was totally loyal to Ashura," Tomoyo pointed out, hoping Kurogane would pick up on what she was trying to get across. She suspected he already understood, but was in denial. She remembered when she tried to comfort Fai, when he'd been completely broken, weeping over it all, and she had said rather cheerfully that the third time's the charm, wasn't it true? Didn't he want to find out? Of course, he had just looked on despondently and whispered it wasn't something he wanted to find out. She knew now, she knew why Ashura had done what he had done, why he had gone mad in his quest to save Fai. She also knew if Fai were to stay, she would do the same. Just as she knew that was why Sakura had put up so little of a fight when Fai had refused to go with her. Just as she knew that this was why Yuuko wouldn't have him in her shop; they would all go mad because even though Ashura thought the curse was lifted, even though everyone did, the fact was there was one curse that couldn't be lifted; one that she didn't have the heart to tell Fai, even though she suspected he knew it.

It was likely Ashura would still be alive, but, like most others, he had given very little thought to the notion that Fai, or Yuui, and Fai, the real one, could actually be cursed to create misfortune from birth. Perhaps it was an angered wizard or rejected mage, either way, it was someone powerful that had to have placed such a curse or, perhaps, it was just how the universe worked. Maybe Syaoran turning back time and messing with timelines had caused it, but regardless, this Fai would eventually bring about madness, and it was odd, because it was only to those of royal blood further confirming her suspicion that it had likely been a rejected, angry wizard or mage in Valeria that had cursed that royal family and cursed the newborn twins out of spite. What a horrible being that person must have been; she only found solace in the fact that whoever it was must have passed on as everyone in Valeria was wiped out. It was a powerful curse to work even in death.

"Yes," Kurogane said lowly and Tomoyo could hear the hurt, fear, and protectiveness in that one strained word. Say what he might, she could still recall very clearly reaching out to him in Celes, telling him if he wished for Fai to go with them with all his heart then the only thing he could do was exchange something that possessed Fai's magic for Fai, to get him out of that bubble before the world closed completely. Kurogane didn't hesitate to swiftly slice his arm off, trading it and the sword, both having had Fai's spells placed on them, for the mage himself. It was before that happened, though, the utter panic that Tomoyo sensed from Kurogane, nearly drowning in it herself when she reached out to him, his thoughts frantic and only about getting Fai out of the bubble before he, Mokona, and the kids disappeared. Mokona couldn't stop her transport magic at the time even if she'd wanted to, not with the device Syaoran had needed to activate just to get them out since Fai's magic was all but exhausted. Tomoyo remembered how Kurogane fought down panic at the sight of Fai coughing up blood and how the panic came to be the only thing Kurogane felt when he tried to unsuccessfully yank Fai out of the magic bubble he'd been trapped in and the horror and denial when the mage had told him to leave. Tomoyo could still feel all the raw emotions tear right through her like they had to Kurogane when it was happening. She reached out to him, trying to ease his wild emotions as Mokona's wings sprouted and her dance began and Syaoran looked on in horror, clutching to Sakura's body, positive they were about to land into the next world without Fai.

It had been hard to fight through Kurogane's overwhelming panic, to offer him a solution and he had grabbed onto it and trusted her despite not being one hundred percent sure it was actually her. At the end of the day, it had been a huge risk for him to amputate his arm and drop his sword and hope it would work in the way the voice had assured him it would. When he'd been able to finally tug the shocked magician out of the bubble and towards Mokona, Tomoyo experienced the great relief Kurogane had felt, so immense that she'd fallen over from the rush of it, concerned family and friends hurrying to check on her. Tomoyo knew in her heart of hearts, that if she were to become the Ashura in a new scenario that repeated the old one, Kurogane would save Fai. And who could blame him? Because in that scenario, Tomoyo would be far past saving as Ashura had been. But is this what they wanted? A repeat of this horror over and over? Would Fai be forced to close every world? What if Kurogane couldn't get him out of the bubble one time? Supposedly, the curse was broken, but Tomoyo doubted the curses were placed the way they thought; she believed they went much further back in time than what they had been told. She suspected Yuuko thought this as well. There was someone else, somewhere else, that had been involved. No doubt someone Fei Wong Reed was aware of, maybe it was even his plan all along, his lies and tricks knew no bounds. Maybe he had put on dramatics for Fai and Yuui fully knowing that Ashura would reveal their past to Kurogane and Syaoran and he had planted himself into Fai, Yuui's, memories so that Yuuko's group would be completely misled about the origins of Fai's curses. Certainly anything was possible when it came to that man. Kurogane shifted uncomfortably and Tomoyo sensed that protectiveness again, the one he had when it came to Fai, even if he would deny it. She had felt it so strongly.

"Princess Tomoyo, do you not like the magician?" Kurogane asked hesitantly, a vulnerability there she hadn't heard since he was a child.

She smiled sadly at him. "Kurogane, the problem is I do like him, just as Ashura did and as Sakura does. And that's why we're having this conversation."

"I don't understand."

"He's asked to leave."

Kurogane's horror from earlier changed to betrayal and, though he tried to hide it, Tomoyo saw the hurt there. "What? When?" There was another beat and he asked the final question, "Why?"

"Don't be angry with him, he came alone a few days ago," Tomoyo said softly. "It's not that he doesn't enjoy being here, he does very much. But, Kurogane, he also knows that there's a good chance he might bring about pain later."

Kurogane's hands balled into fists and he said through clenched teeth, "You will not be like Ashura, I swear to you. That curse is broken, the other princess saw to it. None of that matters anymore."

Tomoyo only looked at him with sad yet kind eyes, that same doleful smile on her lips. "That was never the curse we needed to worry over. It was the misfortune. It helped created the other curses."

Kurogane sat up straighter, fists un-balling as he tried to understand what she was saying. "You mean the 'twins of misfortune.'" It was what he had never given a second thought about, positive that Valeria had just been populated by overly superstitious citizens.

Tomoyo nodded. "Yes, they were cursed from birth with the gift of bringing about misfortune to those around them, but the curse must have been placed by someone with great foresight and power; they made it so the misfortune would drive the royalty they were around mad and bring about the destruction of kingdoms. Maybe a mage that had been exiled. I'd think it wouldn't matter because that person must be dead since Valeria no longer exists but time flow is always a tricky thing." She went silent for a moment as Kurogane soaked in the information, processing what all she was telling him. Then added, "Fai knows this."

And maybe those weren't the right words because Kurogane shot up and gripped his sword tightly, his aura so intense she could nearly see the flames jumping off of him. "What do you mean Fai knows this?" he growled. "He knows all of this?"

"He suspects it, but he does believe what he suspects."

"Why are you mincing words? It's a yes or a no."

Tomoyo simply shook her head. "He didn't know for sure but suspected when Sakura didn't put up a fight about him not joining her and when Yuuko refused to let him join the shop. Then he came to me a few days ago and I confirmed his suspicions."

Kurogane's weapon lowered and he peered at her curiously. "What do you mean, you confirmed his suspicions?"

"I'm a dreamseer, Kurogane, much like Ashura was, much like Sakura is. Even Yuuko has her own special abilities in this. You know I can glimpse the future in visions and what I saw is me very much like Ashura because I also want to save Fai from himself, but I won't be able to just as Ashura wasn't able to. And I will go mad because that's part of the curse."

"Sakura and Yuuko knew this," Kurogane easily surmised, slumping back down to the ground, looking utterly defeated. His blood red eyes were dimmed with the knowledge he'd just been given and the sight was heartbreaking to Tomoyo. She wished she could ease his pain just as she wished she could ease Fai's.

"Yes," she confirmed. "I believe they figured out that his curse was something placed prior to Fei Wong Reed's interference, at least what we know of. Ashura didn't quite understand the curses, he was confused by Fei Wong Reed, but knew that Fai would likely be powerful enough one day to kill him, but as you know, Fai couldn't." Kurogane looked away, very much aware of the fact that he was the one who had killed Ashura. He knew Fai sometimes had nightmares about Ashura but he doubted that Fai knew Kurogane had his own nightmares about the mage's former king. "Ashura meant well," she said quietly. "He just didn't know what to do and he tried and ran out of time. And I've seen in my visions that I do exactly what he did, trying to find a way to break a curse on Fai, but this time it's the curse of misfortune, but I'm unable to do it." She paused for another minute, waiting while Kurogane tried to wrap his mind about the nightmare she was painting for him. So he could see her where Ashura was with Fai crying over Tomoyo this time and she didn't say it, but she knew Kurogane got the implication; that he would kill her. She continued quietly, "But whoever placed the curse had the gift of foresight, there is no way to undo it that I can find. And there's not a way to figure out who did it or why, at least not one that I've seen." Kurogane's ears perked up at this as reality was becoming harsher by the moment.

"What do you mean by at least not one that you've seen?" he asked, voice barely audible. Surely he had misheard, surely it wasn't already happening.

"You know what it means," she said simply. Yes, it had already begun.

"What do we do?" he asked desperately.

Tomoyo shrugged, standing up. "There is not much we can do except let Fai go to another world." She looked at Kurogane. "I think you should go, too. It's obvious how much you care for him."

"I can't just leave you."

Tomoyo smiled again, that sad grin that made Kurogane's heart drop a little. "Yes, Kurogane, you can and you should because I'm commanding you to do just that. Mokona can go, too. I'm sure it'll be a more exciting adventure than being here and there is not a good future for us here if things remain as is." Kurogane flinched at the words, they hurt and this wasn't the adventure he'd had in mind, he suddenly wanted to do nothing but shop for groceries.

"What curse do you place on Fai?" he asked suddenly because they both knew if it were to follow the pattern another curse would be placed.

"The inability to travel to other dimensions," Tomoyo informed him and her voice had changed to a strained whisper, to the point it was surely almost painful to speak.

"When?" Kurogane demanded. It was obvious why this curse would be chosen if everything she'd said was true and he had no reason to doubt her.

"Tomorrow," she said darkly.

"Princess Tomoyo….." he trailed off, uncertain what to say, feeling a familiar panic snake it's way through his veins, his heart beginning to thump a little more wildly than he'd like. He had to get to Fai and Mokona, they had to leave. He had put them all in danger, all the ones he cared about the most and not even known. How could he? He didn't have any of their magic ability and he wasn't a dreamseer.

"Go," she said, "I know your thoughts and feelings, Kurogane and you're not betraying me by leaving, you're saving me. And you're saving Fai because he will surely die if he brings about such anguish to you." Kurogane made to protest, but she silenced him, holding out one arm, palm faced outwards, signalling him to stop before he could say anything. "See Mokona. She doesn't know the whole story, but she does know she's transporting you three to another dimension tonight." Kurogane nodded and rushed out before Tomoyo could change her mind because he sensed she was wavering in her position and he didn't doubt the truth in her words so they needed to leave and now. When he arrived back at their living quarters, Mokona was already in the midst of her dance, having sensed his presence drawing nearer, an upset and puzzled Fai demanding to know what was going on. Kurogane had rushed in, gripping Fai's arm firmly while giving him a look and Fai knew right away that the ninja knew everything.

Tomoyo had watched as Kurogane scurried off, anxious to rejoin Fai and Mokona. She wished things were different for them, she wished she could say she didn't understand Ashura, she wished that Fai wasn't cursed, that they could all stay there in Nihon, but, above all else, she simply wished they could be happy. In her dreams, though, she knew, she knew, and that's why she wished she didn't understand Ashura so well; maybe that understanding was the true curse.