A/N: Callen still thinks Sam needs a new boat, Sam thinks he needs another beer and Kensi and Deeks are blissfully unaware. The third part in my series involving Callen's meddling ways. As with the other two fics, this one takes place in season 9.
A Little Help from Your Friends
"So, you got the boat all fixed up? Walls painted, floors refinished, cabinets baby-proofed?" Callen asks as he sets a freshly opened beer down in front of Sam. He's shouting just a little bit to be heard over the steady beat of music that filters through the bar.
A few yards away, Kensi and Deeks are dancing along with seven or eight other brave couples. Well, attempting would be a better word since Kensi is once again trying to teach Deeks what looks like the cha cha cha while he good-naturedly swivels his hips slightly off-beat. A couple of girls nearby wolf-whistle and Deeks obliges with another exaggerated twist of his hips.
When Sam doesn't immediately respond to Callen's question he gestures to the happily swaying couple.
"Look at them, there's gonna be little Deeks everywhere anytime now and you're going to wish you'd started fixing things up earlier."
"G, why are you still bugging me about this?" Sam replies with a worn out sigh. He'd briefly considered ignoring Callen entirely, but from past experience he knows it would only increase the badgering. "And Deeks is right, your preoccupation with their sex life is just a little bit creepy."
"Don't try to change the subject, Sam. It's been three weeks and I haven't heard a thing about your new digs," Callen says, jabbing an accusatory finger at Sam. Sam might have taken it a little more seriously if Callen didn't follow the statement up with a long swallow of beer and a suppressed burp.
"That's because there aren't any 'new digs'," Sam reveals with a roll of his eyes.
"We looked at boats for three and a half hours and you even took Charlie's card and said you'd give him a call," Callen says, sounding outraged. While he hadn't minded checking out top of the line boats, it had taken a certain amount of dedication to actually discuss custom flooring and plumbing when he had absolutely no intention of making a purchase.
"That was just to get you off my back," Sam admits reluctantly but without a hint of remorse. As far as he's concerned, Callen shouldn't be at all surprised. He'd made it abundantly clear that he wasn't in the market for a boat and whatever annoyance his partner felt was well deserved.
"Why didn't you just tell me that instead of wasting all that time?" Callen asks.
"I did. Repeatedly." Sam responds with a short laugh.
"I thought you were just being cantankerous," he says with just enough uncertainty in his voice for Sam to wonder if he's being serious.
"You're an idiot," Sam concludes and gestures for another beer.
"That may be, but why are you so against buying a new boat?" Callen presses, leaning in so he doesn't have to shout so loudly, his expression completely and unbelievably innocent.
"Why do you keep pushing it?"
"Because I'm worried about you," Callen says, drawing an incredulous look from Sam.
"And you thought annoying the hell out of me would be the best way to show it?" he asks.
"Yes. When you're annoyed you get worked up and in my book that's a good thing," Callen says firmly.
"Have you been talking to Deeks? Sounds like something he'd do to get Kensi talking," Sam jokes. He is definitely not in the mood for this type of conversation right now, but knowing Callen he probably doesn't have a choice.
"I'm serious. Ever since we talked in that bar in Vietnam you've seemed happier and a lot more, I don't know, normal."
"And how exactly does pushing a luxury boat on me translate to keeping me happy?" Sam retorts, shaking his head at Callen's convoluted thinking.
"I'd like to see you with a place with room for more than you and a goldfish. You purposely isolated yourself from everyone including your team, so sue me if I jumped at the chance to remind you that you still have a family and a future," Callen says, dropping any pretense at humor.
"Can you blame me?" Sam asks and Callen has the good grace to actually look a tad ashamed until he rallies quickly and regains that stubborn expression.
"No, I don't blame you. But that doesn't mean I have to stand by without doing anything." Callen persists, shaking his half-full beer bottle in Sam's direction.
"There's a big difference between not doing anything and trying to force things. I'm honestly content where I am right now. I don't need a bigger place and I honestly don't want one, but if I do I'll let you and Charlie know."
"Fair enough. Just don't forget that you've got a lot of people who care about you and depend on you. Like your kids and those two lunatics over there," Callen says, gesturing with his chin to Kensi and Deeks who have commandeered a dart board from places unknown and appear to be hustling other patrons with their superior marksmanship.
"I won't forget, G." Sam promises, resisting the urge to smile.
"Good, and if you do, I'm always here to remind you," Callen continues.
"Lucky me," Sam mutters with a groan and another swig of beer. There's a moment of relative silence as Sam considers what Callen has said. He knows he's right to a certain extent, but he needs to make some ground rules before he finds himself running a daycare aboard a small yacht.
"I appreciate what you've been trying to do, G, I really do, he starts. "And I promise I won't forget that you guys are here for me, but please stop trying to push this boat thing."
"I think I can agree to that," says Callen with a small nod of his head, apparently pleased with himself.
"And for the love of god, stop speculating about when Kensi and Deeks are having kids. I don't need any more reminders that my coworkers are having sex," Sam adds with a frown of distaste.
"Hey, you're the one who brought it up in the first place," Callen says with an unapologetic shrug.
"Yeah, and I regret it every damn day," Sam says with a reluctant laugh as he drains his beer and slams it on the bar. "C'mon partner, we gotta keep those knuckleheads over there from getting us kicked out of our favorite bar."