He still bore the scar on his cheek. It was faint and a little pink. Sometimes he forgot he had it. Either his hand would brush it whenever it went near his face or someone brought it up after examining his face. Any time he stared at himself too long in the mirror. Then he'd remember. It all came flooding back.
That's what was happening right this second.
Nobu stood hunched over the sink. His hands clamped on the edges as if they were the only things to stop him from drowning. He peeked up at himself in the mirror. His dark eyes stared back at him at first with a sad tint. That look quickly changed, however. A bit of anger flooded his eyes. His brow furrowed with the change.
He grunted and gripped the sink tighter. His knuckles were beginning to turn white. He bowed his head. He had to stop looking at himself, being mad and upset about something he had no control over now didn't help anything.
When he was younger he would have had all the control in the world. He could have stood up for himself, been a real man instead of the naïve boy he always was. Hachi and Nana had both needed him. He failed them both and ended up losing them both.
Nobu hadn't lost Hachi completely like he did Nana. She was standing outside. She came in pretending to want a room for a night in the hotel. Her smile lit up the room at her own little joke. He had smiled too since hers was infectious. Deep down he knew his smile was fake and meant nothing. It made him feel guilty all over again.
It was all a show because her son was with her: Ren. The boy had an old friend's name but Nobu's features. As soon as he spotted the boy, his chest tightened in panic. As much as he wanted to he couldn't claim that child as his own. He could only teach him the essentials, like playing the guitar and writing music. The two things that had been most important to Nobu not too long ago.
Not only did that force him out of the same room as Hachi again but she was pregnant for a second time. This one he knew wasn't his. It'd be Takumi's. Hachi's real husband's. It seemed they were starting a real family now.
Nobu glanced back up. He caught a flash of Ren's, his son's, face in the mirror. He winced at the thought. That's when the scar made another appearance. He released one hand's grip from the sink and reached for the mark on his cheek. The other hand supported all the weight he put on it as he leaned forward.
His fingers gently touched the scar Nana's ring had left on his face. It was the last thing she gave him before she left them. It was his last memory of Hachi too. The last clear one of them together anyway. He had seen her many times since that night in front of their friend's shrine but it was the last time he had held her. The last time he got to smell her, to comfort her, to really care for her. He still loved her deep down but he had to move on. He had to be a man and make her feel comfort and love from him as a good friend and not her husband.
He dropped his hand away from his face. Nobu stood up to study his whole reflection. He looked a little harder around the edges, like he was ready to face this issue. He wanted to face her and act like it was all okay between them.
He reached for the bathroom doorknob. His confidence left him in a single breath as his hand touched the metal. He gulped and glanced at himself in the mirror again.
"Guess you're not as ready for this as you thought, huh?" he laughed at his reflection, which looked genuinely happy for once.
He stood up a little straighter. He felt a little more like himself, a little younger and just as naïve. He smiled to himself, but not to his reflection, before pulling the door open. He was ready to face whoever waited for him on the other side.