Rangers of Konoha: Prologue
Inside the chamber of one Goa'uld spaceship orbiting Dakara, is Ba'al, the last of the Goa'uld system lords. He is frantically pressing buttons on a strange device that has come into possession. Meanwhile blasts of plasma and the thuds of bullets bleed through his chamber.
"Damn it! This better work. I can't be taken prisoner by the damn Tau'ri," Ba'al mutters. "They're liable to hand me over to the Jaffa to be tortured for life."
The temperature in the chamber increases, making Ba'al's host body all sweaty. By now, Ba'al fingers are bleeding from overuse.
Without a warning, an explosion cuts through a hole within one of the wall. A strange multi-legged robot enters. Ba'al decides to hit the master start button and hopes for the best. He has no idea what it do, but he hopes to either die a painless death or obliterate his enemy.
"Gottach," the robot says in a squeaky childish female voice. "Hehe!" The spider walker/wheeled robot fires its machine gun at Ba'al, but Ba'al manages to duck at the last second.
"Hey, no fair!" the robot says in an angry tone. Ba'al grabs his submachine gun that he stolen from the Tau'ri. He momentarily feels gratitude that he uses the much superior although primitive weapons rather than the staff weapons other smug Goa'uld uses.
A loud burp from his gun sends bullets toward the menacing robot. The robot dodges to the right, forcing Ba'al to miss entirely. He quickly ducks down and throw a few flashdrones toward the robot.
The drones bath the robot with intense light, confusing its sensor.
"Oof!" the robot can only say. Ba'al takes a potshot. More bullets ring out, only to miss again.
"Missed me! Hehe." Ba'al growls at the taught. "DIE YOU MEANIE!" The robot fires it weapon while it looks for cover.
Batou and the rest of Section 9 enters the fray with multiple dynamic entries, punching holes into the chamber, along with more homicidal robots.
Surrounded on all side, Ba'al reflexively surrenders. He mentally berates himself for getting captured, but that could not stop his mouth speaking for preservation of his life.
"I gi-"
Suddenly the machine whirls to life, filling the chamber with white lights. Unfortunately, it didn't do what Ba'al asks.
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Orochimaru's Secret Base
Naruto's Planet
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As soon as the light show ended, the dazzled Ba'al tries to open up his eyes. He can't see worth a damn. Though he feels very warm and comfortable. It's so nice he doesn't want to leave. If Ba'al could smile, he'll be doing it now. Alas, he's only a baby inside his mother's womb.
Unfortunately, the universe has other plans. Then a loud muscle contraption interrupts his peace.
"What the hell? WHO DARES TO DISTURB MY PEACE!" he thinks but all he could do is let out a loud gurgles. Then more contraption happens. Ba'al for the second time in a very short time period feels very terrified.
"Please no! Forgive me!" he cries out to the ascended. Then he can feel his lower body freezing.
On the higher plane, the ascended ancient only chuckles evilly at Ba'al's helpless state, satisfied that he got what he deserve, for the time being.
"BRRR. I am cold! I don't want to be let out."
Within a few minute, his body feels absolutely cold. He's absolutely naked and afraid, letting out a large wail. Then a giant covers him with a blanket and begins to speak a weird language. He picks the baby up away from the mother.
"Now, my dear, you will be the successor to my legacy!" Orochirmaru promises. Ba'al doesn't understand a damn thing, but he is horrified by the snaky tongue that just came out.
"Unhand me you snake giant!" Ba'al tries to say to no effect. Then he takes a good at his hands. They were chubby and small.
"Eww! This host is ugly! Maybe I could use the snake giant as a host? Maybe it won't work, but I rather die than be in this ugly body."
He tries to get out of the host's head. Nothing happens. Huh? Wait a minute! For some reason, it finally drawn on Ba'al that he isn't inhabiting a host body, but that he is the host. He doesn't know how he knows, but he just knows. The idea absolutely horrifies him more than the snaky giant.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" he screams. All that Orochirmaru can hear is a loud wail.
"Oh my, getting fussy a little here?" Orochirmaru talks to the baby. "Let me hand you back to your mother." Once Ba'al is back with his "mother", he can only comply.
"Dear," the blue haired mother asks of the baby. "What would you want to be named?"
"Of course, it's Ba'al! Damn it woman, you better name me that!" Another wail comes from Ba'al. "Damn it! Why can't I speak? Wait I can speak and understand what this giant says?"
"I know! Akumestu!"
"Hey! That's better! I am wrong, and I shall accept this name." Then the women begin to speak something Ba'al can't understand. To his frustration, Ba'al wonders why he suddenly can't understand the damn woman. He also wonders why think of the purple head as his mother.
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Konoha
At the very same time
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Meanwhile in Konoha, a whole set of babies got born into the orphanage and into families. They too suffer through the humiliation and pain that is the birthing process.
Nearby though, a kitsune mother gives birth to a bunch of homicidal childish kits, with a natural sense of where their owners from the previously life are.
"Boys and girls, drink, eat, sleep all you want as much as you want," the fox mother announces. "For it's only a short time before you begin your training as a proper kitsune in the art of eating and drinking and stealing from humans all without getting caught."
The kits squeal in anticipation that they will learn something so useful for their human masters. Then they suddenly forget what the kitsune just told them.
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Just Outside Konoha
At the very same time
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A loud wave of mysterious energy cross the landscape, perking up a small midget with primitive clothes and a head full of growing plants.
"I sense a disturbance in the force," the Nox notes.