Reinette's Lullaby
Maîtresse, embrasse-moi, baise-moi, serre -moi
Maîtresse, embrasse-moi, baise-moi, serre-moi,
Haleine contre haleine, échauffe-moi la vie,
Mille et mille baisers donne-moi je te prie,
Amour veut tout sans nombre, amour n'a point de loi
I write countless letters to the man behind my fireplace, knowing that for him my years are seconds; for him he has only just moments ago told me to choose a star. When I was a little girl, I was sent to an Austrian Finishing School, and there I learned astronomy. It was an unusual subject, and I was the only girl in the class. One day after the lesson, my instructor pulled me aside to share his new discovery with me. During the night the Professor had discovered a new constellation, which he named Paela and Prethia. I was a curious child, so I inquired as to why one constellation would have two names. He responded;
''Ah, Reinette. Things are not always what they seem.'' He gestured so that I knew that I was to look through the telescope as he told me the next bit;
''From Earth, Paela and Prethia appear to be a massive star, almost a quarter as big as our sun, but they're really two stars, thousands of kilometers apart. In Ancient Greek, Paela and Prehia were the god and goddess of twins.'' He paused for a moment. ''I know being away from your family is hard for you, Reinette, so whenever you feel lonely, you can look to those stars and know that even though you're very far away from your parents, you will always be close at heart.''
It was the nicest thing a teacher had ever done for me. Given, he was a special friend of the family, but the gesture nevertheless, still touched me. Now I can pinpoint almost any constellation in the sky, but my favorite is the glowing twin stars because of the sentimental value they hold for me. Whenever I look at them I think of my Doctor. We are so close, but so far away. It is the perfect link between my past and my future. In the sky, new stars are born and old ones die, constellations, galaxies, nebulas; all exist alongside our little planet. I still marvel at the fact that whatever happens on Earth, the stars remained unaffected, nothing prevents their lunar march across the sky.
When I put on the radiant dresses at court and look at the pretty doll in the mirror I cry inside because he isn't there to tell me that I am beautiful. The clockwork monsters no longer haunt me, but if you were to truly look into my eyes you couldn't tell the difference. The ticking of the monsters echoes in my mind in the night when all is silent; I know they are gone, but I still fear what they say is true. Where is everyone else why I lie in bed alone? My sisters, ladies-in-waiting, and what I could call friends have all married their true ones over the years. I remain. Maybe even the King feels some degree of loneliness. Is this how my lonely angel feels? No, for I have seen into his mind and it is so much worse.
It could all be another nightmare, but the dancing and the pain and the night sky seem so real. Perhaps my love for the doctor is the same as my ghosts, for I linger on both but neither seem to exist. I'm forty-one now. I had wished for children, but though this shifting universe was kind enough to bring me a Lord and a King, it takes derisive pleasure from denying me all else.
A world of monsters may be tolerated for the sake of an angel. Forgive me Doctor, but my time has come and even you cannot forever be Lord of Time.
(Tick Tock. End of the clock.)
(Time's out Reinette)
La Fin