Characters: Yondu Udonta, Kraglin Obfonteri
Relationships: Yondu Udonta/Kraglin Obfonteri
Tags: Smart!Kraglin, Humour, Intelligence, Yondu Finds Intelligence Hot, Sapiosexual, Yes That's The Word For It I Looked It Up lol, Fluff, Romance, In a Ravager-y Way, Mutual Attraction, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, All Cuteness Here People,
Summary: Yondu wasn't an idiot – far from it – but he never considered himself particularly smart either. Kraglin however – holy shit – Kraglin was a fucking genius and it made Yondu crazy.
A/N: So there's this line I read (and you'll have to forgive me because I've forgotten where I read it, I have a HORRIBLE memory and everything blurs together if I don't write it down immediately lol) but someone (and if it's you please tell me so I can give you credit for this idea ;) ) wrote Peter telling Kraglin he was just as dumb as ever. And I thought – what if he wasn't? What if he was a specific off the charts level of really intelligent all wrapped up in an unsuspecting package? I was like; yeah, that would make a cute story and then my brain went – oooor – oooor… What if Kraglin was a genius and it made Yondu hotter than a jalapeño's coochie? Annnnnd that's how 'Talk Nerdy to Me' was born. So – enjoy :)
The concept of Hrax and Hraxian!Kraglin comes from the incredible Write_Like_An_American, who's stories I utterly adore 3 (and you should totally go read, like, all of them because they are amazing) So, shout to them for creating it because none of my stories would exist without their ideas :)
The interesting thing about Kraglin was he looked like a dumb-ass.
Ok, so maybe not a dumb-ass exactly, but he was tall, lanky and goofy looking, with big soft blue eyes.
He didn't look like a Ravager, he wasn't terrifying or bulky or ugly. But shit, that kid could scrap with the best of them.
So it came as a shock when the boy made senior crew, sat in on a strategy meeting, and revealed something nobody knew about him.
Kraglin Obfonteri was a fucking genius.
It didn't take long after that for him to make it to first mate and at nineteen, he was the youngest Yondu had ever promoted to such an important role.
Yondu had been captain of his own crew for just over a decade, and he'd never met anyone with such a big, beautiful brain.
To say that was extremely attractive to him was a severe understatement. Kraglin's mind drew Yondu in like flies to shit, and well – having them big pretty blue eyes helped a whole lot too.
Yondu was working on star charts, plotting their course from one job to another when the knock sounded on his door, he flicked a hand across the lock release on the holo pad next to him and it slid open.
Kraglin trotted in on those stupidly long legs, holding a stack of holo pads, "Hey Cap, reports fer today are in." He piled them on the desk next to the Centaurian.
"Thanks Obfonteri."
The Hraxian looked at the projection, studying it with sharp eyes. "Uh – sir? Yer calculations are off – well, not off, just – they could be more efficient. Can I?"
Yondu lived for these little displays of genius. He pushed his chair back, gesturing towards the charts, "Go ahead."
Kraglin stepped in front of him, giving him a nice view of that cute lil' ass all wrapped up in red leather. He looked his fill, then shuffled the chair to the side so he could watch the taller man work.
Long bony fingers flew across the chart, moving and re-positioning pin points and adding a couple. He murmured quietly to himself in that lispy tone around all those razor-sharp teeth and Yondu felt his blood rush to his groin. He shifted against the tightening leather, ignoring it as best he could.
"There. See, ya had us goin' alright but ya didn't account fer a couple of fuel stops we'll need ta make. When tha engine's runnin' at optimal capacity – which right now it ain't 'cause tha cells need replacin' – we'd be fine ta do that whole journey. At tha moment we're only runnin' at half of our regular efficiency, which I wanted ta talk ta ya about. We need ta invest in gettin' them cells replaced Cap, I know we ain't got any hugely profitable jobs at the moment but if we reduce our expenditure a little we should be able to afford to –"
"Sure Obfonteri, do what ya gotta." Yondu interrupted huskily.
God, who thought Kraglin talking about engine efficiency and the accounts would make his cock sit up and pay attention so enthusiastically.
"O–ok." The Hraxian said slowly, shooting the captain a curious look. "I'll – uh – let you get back to work then."
Yondu nodded adamantly, eyes glazing over slightly as he thought about whether those pale lips that could sprout such intelligence would feel just as good wrapped around his dick.
His first mate turned to leave, stopping at the door, "You sure yer alright sir?"
"Peachy." Yondu grit out, willing the boy to leave so he didn't do something spectacularly stupid, like shove everything off his desk and bend the kid over it.
"See ya in tha morning then. G'night Cap."
Yondu hit the lock button so hard the holo screen cracked and had his hand down his leathers before his next breath, his first mate's words echoing in his ears.
Yondu peeked out from his hiding place and cursed. One of his idiot crew had tripped the silent alarm.
"There's too many of 'em ta shoot our way out." He murmured to Kraglin.
"Arrow?"
Yondu shook his head, "We ain't supposed ta be takin' jobs here, this is Aleta's turf, fallout ain't worth tha risk."
Kraglin sighed, "Why did we ta a job in Aleta's stompin' grounds Cap?"
The Centaurian shrugged, "Money was good."
His first mate pinched the bridge of his nose, "Ya know sir, sometimes ya gotta consider all tha variables 'fore –"
Yondu waved the words away, "Yadda, yadda. Ya can lecture me 'til yer blue in tha face later. Right now, we gotta figure a way outta here."
The Hraxian shrugged, "Ok looks like we're improvisin'."
Yondu looked around the corner ducking back after a quick head count, "I count twenty-three, what do ya – what are ya doin'?"
Kraglin's fingers flew over the pieces in his hands, "Just a sec – there!" He pulled out a holo pad from his jacket and his fingers flicked over the display – doing fuck knows what.
"What's'at?"
"Bomb."
Yondu blinked, "Kraglin. Did you just make a bomb from the shit you had in yer pockets?"
"Yeah." He pulled up the security feed on the pad in his hands.
The Centaurian swallowed heavily, listening to Kraglin's low lilting voice murmur words, catching a few here and there – something about distance, trajectory, and blast radius.
"Cap, give us a hand?"
Yondu shook himself out of his daze, "What'chu need me ta do?"
He pulled a spent clip from his belt, "Throw that, in that direction when I tell ya."
The captain nodded.
"Ready?"
"Yup."
"Ok – now!"
Yondu lobbed the clip as Kraglin threw the bomb in the other direction seconds later. All enemy heads turned in the direction of the clip, none noticing the bomb at their feet.
Kraglin counted softly, "Three, two, one."
The bomb rattled the room, sending bodies flying in all directions. When Yondu went to peek up over their hiding spot, Kraglin pulled his head down. A body flew overhead, exactly where he would've been.
The Hraxian looked down at the security feed, "Looks like we're clear Cap."
Yondu looked at Kraglin in shock, "Yer somement else kid."
The Hraxian frowned, "Ain't a kid, sir."
Kraglin was reading through the bounty list when he snorted, Yondu leaned over and spied his own face.
"Look at this; 'dangerous, deadly, unstable'." He chuckled, "You'd think they could git a little more innovative. Those words all mean virtually the same thing."
Yondu blinked, "Well what would you write?"
The Hraxian thought a moment, "Well yer dangerous, intelligent, callous, perspicacious. Yer bat shit crazy too."
The captain grinned, "Flattery will get ya everywhere boy."
Kraglin tipped his head, "Yer also choleric, vexatious, macabre, abhorrent and –"
"Alright, alright, I git it." Yondu feigned irritation.
He didn't actually know what half of those words meant but they were giving him another problem in his leathers and frankly the whole thing was getting a little ridiculous.
He was too – not old! Thirty-eight wasn't old, ta very much – but he weren't a teenager neither and this whole Kraglin being smart thing was making his body act like it and it pissed him off.
Kraglin gave him that cute little knowing smirk, "See? Choleric."
Yondu crossed his arms and scowled, "Shaddup."
It only got worse.
One of the morons in coms thought it would be a good idea to update everyone's universal translators and of course it turned out to be a virus that disabled them instead.
Do you know how hard it is to run a goddamn ship when every single asshole speaks a different language?
It's impossible's what it is.
Until Yondu found out Kraglin spoke eight different languages.
Yeah that's right eight.
Including Centaurian.
That's when Yondu discovered a whole new kink.
Because his language sounded absolutely gorgeous coming out of Kraglin's mouth.
He was a life saver for those two days, translating what he could into Yondu's tongue, though how much of it he caught was another thing entirely.
Every time Kraglin spoke he had to work hard to stop his eyes from glazing over and his mind dropping into some dirty fantasy.
It got to the point where even Kraglin got irritated, clicking at him to pay attention, that he was doing what he could, and he was sorry he only knew eight languages.
Like eight languages wasn't a specific off the charts level of really fucking smart.
Yondu felt a little guilty after that. He apologised before he caught himself making Kraglin's jaw drop comically. The Centaurian was just thankful no one else understood him.
"Fuckin' hell Nuttie! Are ya tryin' ta blow a hole in the side o' tha ship an' suck us all inta tha black?!"
"What? What I do?!"
Yondu leaned against the workshop door frame smirking as he watched Kraglin practically pull his hair out in frustration.
He spoke through gritted teeth, "Those two fuckin' chemicals ya were about ta mix together are highly fuckin volatile you moron!"
"What's'at mean?"
"Oh fer – you mix together, they make big boom boom. Then you and all yer troglodyte friends get sucked out inta tha black ta suffocate ta death. Because. Space. Has. No. Air!"
Halfnut huffed, "I know, 'm not an idjit."
"Just – fuckin' get out 'fore I gut ya!"
The shorter man stormed out, muttering to himself, and taking no notice of Yondu at all.
Kraglin snatched up the chemicals, putting them away, "Stars! I work with a bunch of imbeciles! Half-witted ignoramus!" He did a reasonably good imitation of Halfnut, "'What's'at mean?' Gods above, if he was twice as intelligent he'd still be a complete moron!"
Yondu couldn't hold it in any longer. It started as a chuckle and turned into huge gawfs of laughter.
Kraglin jumped, cursed in four different languages and glared at the Centaurian.
Once Yondu had gotten control of himself, he grinned at the Hraxian, "Now ya know how I feel e'ery damn day."
"Honestly Cap, I dunno how ya do it. I mean seriously, how we haven't all died 'cause some dunce wit' a IQ lower than his shoe size hasn't pressed tha wrong button because it were shiny or some such idiotic shit is absolutely beyond me."
"Ya know, yer real fuckin' cute when ya get all worked up Krags."
Yondu's filter had obviously checked out on him.
Kraglin immediately went an utterly adorable blue and looked down at his boots. When he looked back up the captain was gone.
Yondu didn't consider himself very bright, sure he had a certain level of smarts, but it was nothing to write home about. Despite this, he was a fairly decent hacker, this level of encryption though, was beyond even his abilities.
"Kraglin!"
The kid looked up from his position at the door, "Cap?"
"Take a look at this will ya?"
The Hraxian signaled for another crew member to take his spot and holstered his weapon. His boots were quiet on the pristine tiles.
"Ya can handle this right?" He asked, then quietly murmured into the boy's ear, "'S beyond wha' I can do."
Kraglin's eyebrows shot into his scruffy hair at the admission, but he didn't comment. He nodded, "Sure Cap, I'll see what I can do."
He stepped up to the console eyeing the screen critically, "Ten-point encryption. Damn, they really don't want anyone ta get this info."
Yondu leaned over his shoulder, practically draping himself over the Hraxian's back, "Think ya can crack it?"
He felt Kraglin's breath hitch slightly, "S–sure – uh – easy."
Yondu smirked and practically purred, "Clever boy."
The Hraxian made a strange sound in the back of his throat. A tiny, breathy little whine that made Yondu want to say fuck this job and just bend him over the console, right here, right now, and screw whoever could see it.
"Cap?" The kid's voice sounded strained. "A lil' space?"
Yondu sighed stepping back, the boy was only just twenty, he probably didn't want a crusty, old Ravager captain lusting after him.
The Centaurian tried really hard not to think about how much that actually hurt.
Kraglin worked for a good fifteen minutes, murmuring to himself. The deep, lispy words making heat pool in the Centaurian's stomach.
Once he was in the system, Kraglin extracted the information and the job was done.
It was good.
It should feel good.
So, why did Yondu feel so crappy?
Yondu snarled at himself. He had to get over this shit.
Kraglin had called him abhorrent a few months back and curiously Yondu had looked the word up.
It meant disgusting.
The boy thought he was disgusting.
Yondu had unthinkingly trashed his room, broken half his trinkets, and lost his socks.
Why did it matter what one stupid kid thought?
Because ya care about him. Ya might even lo–
Yondu snarled. He didn't. He didn't care.
He was Yondu Udonta, he was born to wreak havoc, cause hell, and leave a trail of the dead in his wake.
He wasn't born to – to –
That word.
He was thrown out of his snit by his door sliding open.
Kraglin, looking down at his hands entered, "Cap, I think we need ta talk –" The boy looked up, eyes widening at the carnage. "Stars, Cap! What happened?"
The Centaurian grunted from his position atop the pile of furs on his bed. He looked like a petulant child that had thrown a tantrum, arms crossed and pouting. "What'chu want?"
"I – uh –" He looked down, and made a pained noise. Stooping he picked up Yondu's absolute favourite trinket. He held the two pieces in his thin fingers. "Damn, this was so frickin' cute. I loved this one."
Yondu blinked, insides melting into a puddle of goopy feelings. His favourite trinket was also Kraglin's favourite. He quickly shoved a hand over his mouth to stop the pile of mushy words that threatened to spill out.
Kraglin walked over, placing the pieces on the Centaurian's desk, "Remind me ta fix that for ya." He looked around the room then rolled his eyes, "Remind me ta fix all tha dast things. Damn Cap, ya made a right mess. What got you flyin' inta such a rage?"
You thinkin' 'm a grizzly ol' disgustin' fucker.
Yondu grit his teeth in a sneer, "Were there somement ya want Obfonteri or what?"
The Hraxian sighed, "Yeah – yeah there were. I – uh – shit, this gon' be real unprofessional o' me, but ya has a right ta know, I reckons."
Yondu tipped his head in confusion.
"I sorta – well not sorta – they's quite forceful actually, an' I tried not ta acknowledge 'em, thinkin' maybe they'd disappear, that it were a nonsensical infatuation or somement, but well – it's been three years now an' it's just gettin' stronger so maybe - I dunno – maybe it's real, ya know?"
Yondu raised a brow, only getting more confused at every word, "Ya approachin' a point boy er what?"
Kraglin sneered, "I ain't a boy damnit!"
"Yer nineteen years ma junior, kid."
The Hraxian tossed his hands up in the air and snarled, "Fuckin' ferget it! All you'll ever see me as is some puerile moron." He stormed towards the door.
"Ya ain't no moron Kraglin."
The taller man stopped mid-stride and turned, "I – I ain't?"
Yondu chuckled and pat the bed, "Come'ere."
Kraglin frowned but did as he was asked, folding long legs up as he sat in front of his captain.
"Ya ain't a moron. Shit darlin', yer a fuckin' genius."
Kraglin blushed hotly – a pretty blue that made Yondu's heart thump hard against his ribs.
"Ya have no idea how crazy that makes me. E'ery time ya open that pretty lil' mouth o' yers an' ya sprout all that intelligent shit? Damn darlin' I just – I can't even think."
"So ya think 'm platitudinous? Fabulous, that's exactly what I wanna hear!" The sarcasm was as thick as Yondu's on a good day, which was pretty fucking thick.
Yondu swallowed heavily, "Darlin', I have no idea what that means."
Kraglin jaw worked and words burst from his lips, "Boring, banal, monotonous, mundane, uninteresting! I dunno – pick one!"
"How about none o' 'em?" He grabbed Kraglin's fingers in his. "How about, e'ery time ya do all that smart shit, ya make me so hot I can't think? Even though half tha time I got no idea what yer sayin' e'ery damn bit o' that big ol' brain o' yers makes me wanna bend ya over tha nearest flat surface an' fuck ya 'til I can't breathe."
Kraglin's blush intensified, big blue eyes wide and unblinking.
Yondu scowled down at their joined hands, "But I looked up one o' them words ya used an' I know, ok? I know ya just think 'm a disgustin', ol', grizzly, chunky blue asshole who ain't nothin' special, so's I ain't gunna – mpfh!"
Kraglin launched himself at the Centaurian, the kiss was awkward and clumsy due to the way they were sitting, but Yondu couldn't think of anything more fucking perfect than the feel of those pale lips on his.
The Hraxian pulled back, "Ya are disgustin', but only when ya eat. Ya go at yer food like a prison inmate an' it's gross but – an' 'm all types o' insane fer this – I think it's cute. I think yer cute. I lo–like everythin' about ya Cap, that what I were tryin' ta say before – rather inexplicably."
Yondu blinked, "Well, shit. Ain't we a pair? We both been lustin' after each other wit'out even realisin'."
Kraglin chuckled, then peered up shyly through thick, dark eyelashes, "Ya – ya really think me bein' smart is – is sexy?"
Yondu gave him a lustful leer, "Kraglin, ya got no idea."
"Wow. Most people find it really intimidating."
"Don't worry darlin'," Yondu purred as he pushed his first mate down into the furs. He ducked in for a quick kiss before sucking a pale earlobe between craggy teeth, "you can talk nerdy to me all night long."