"Explain yourself." Came from the Joan shaped lump, on the bed, as soon as Jamie entered the room.
"A simple Hello would suffice, dear Watson." Jamie settled herself on the empty chair, at the foot of the bed.
"Hello. Now explain yourself." Joan tossed the covers from over her head and tucked them under her chin. The temperature was dropping as winter approached and Sherlock had yet to get the heating up and working. God forbid he actually call a professional
"I have no idea what you are referring to."
So you don't know what this means." Joan held up her phone, illuminated with the message Mary sent to her less than an hour ago.
Your ridiculous kinda ex tried to chloroform me but I got a wad of her hair with my brulee torch. Can't wait to see you tonight 3 Ps. She was alive when she left here, I swear.
"Oh…that." Jamie smoothed out any wrinkles in her jacket and absentmindedly stroke the now almost bare half of her head. Light blonde peach fuzz was the only thing left on that side.
"Yes that. What the hell?"
"It was all in good fun. No need to fret."
"You can't just go around chloroforming people, we've talked about this already." Joan propped herself up against her headboard, readjusting the blankets at her waist. She figured that more than her head needed to be visible for this conversation.
"I wasn't even going to abduct her." Jamie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms against her chest.
"So what was the point of trying to knock her unconscious?" Joan made a conscious effort not to roll her own eyes. She had been doing that a lot more lately and was growing concerned with the small ache that lay behind her left eye.
"I was merely trying to scare her a bit. Who can you joke around with if not your friends?"
"Mary isn't your friend." Joan deadpanned.
"I think we are friends." Jamie countered immediately.
"You're wrong."
"Well, maybe not the best of friends but we're friendly. I think we've established a playful relationship."
"Having not murdered each other doesn't make you two friendly. You really need to up your standards." Joan did roll her eyes this time. Ache behind her eye be damned.
"Either way, her attack on me was uncalled for and now-"
"You're half bald."
"I was going to say wounded. That torch packed quite a punch."
Joan laughed. That's all she could do at this point. The absurdity of the situation was too much to handle this early in the morning. It was barely passed 8 am and she already had to deal with a would-be abductor and pastry chefs with impressive brulee torch skills.
"I'm going back to bed." Joan slid back down under her covers.
"Would you mind if I joined you?" Jamie made an attempt to crawl into the bed but was stopped by a blanket covered foot flying towards her face.
"Get out!"
"Very well then. No need to be rude."
"And don't come back until you smell like something other than burnt hair." Jamie may have had the burnt hair shaved off before she came over but she was clearly still wearing the same outfit she was attacked in.
"You want me to come back?" Joan couldn't see Jamie's smirk but she felt it.
"No, but you will anyway, so at least smell better next time."
"You sure do know how to make a girl feel wanted." Unauthorized disappointment laced Jamie's words. She left the room before Joan had time to notice.
An hour later, Joan was roused from sleep again. This time it was by another text from Mary.
Your kinda ex came by again. Apparently she dropped her watch while I was burning off bits of her hair. Hate to admit it but the new edgy look is pretty hot.
The look was pretty hot. Not that either of them would ever tell Jamie about that fact.