Okay. So, here's the low down. (Oh and little note to people who have already read this authors note before from my Seddie fic and/or my True Jackson VP fic, you don't need to read all this. But if you want to, who am I to stop you, right? Okay. Little note finished.)
I was watching ABC yesterday. Why? Because ABC is like, the defenition of good television. I was watching Cougar Town and let me just say, it's pretty darn awesome. It stars Courtney Cox who is like, the best actress and one of my fave's from Friends.
Now, all this may seem like just a bunch of useless crap, but it's not. In the episode I watched, Courtney, forgot the characters name, has this really hot guy neighbor from across the street. This hot neighbor happens to own one of those little mini guitars. Like, the ones from Hawaii you know? Yes well, he plays his little guitar and sings, off key I might add, not so much songs but more like speaking in song. Sharing time again! I would just like to share that I love this guy:) Sharing time over:]
So, with all that useless but not that useless crap being said, here is the story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Sonny With A Chance, Cougar Town, or the Sexuality Song....Or Dora the Explorer:)
Sonny and Tawni sat at their usual table in the cafeteria of Condor Studios. They were discussing a text message Tawni had just received containing her daily horoscope. It clearly stated that Tawni mustn't consume many calories that day, for it would bring her bad luck. Tawni, being Tawni, was appalled by the text message and didn't try to hide her discomfort. Sonny, being Sonny, tried her best to explain to Tawni that all that horoscope stuff was just a bunch of bologna.
"Oh come on Tawni! You're already on a diet and now you wanna, what, starve yourself? And all because some random guy from like, Iowa, sent you a text saying that you should?" Sonny never really believe in all that superstitious, horoscope, bad luck mumbo jumbo. But she knew for a fact Tawni did, and trying to convince her otherwise was basically a lost cause.
"Of course I believe it Sonny!" Tawni yelled. "How can you not? I mean, yesterday, Madam Luna told me I was gonna wear blue and pink...AND I DID!" She made her mouth into an O to prove to Sonny just how amazing it really was. Sonny raised her eyebrows.
"Umm, Tawni I was there when you got that text and you were already wearing pink and blue so technically-" Sonny was interupted when Chad appeared at their table holding some type of instrument that looked like a guitar and a piano got busy and that was the result.
"Owww!" Chad said, playing a large group of notes that didn't sound very good together. "What up peoples?"
"Chad, we're kind of busy here," Sonny said, doing her best to get Chad and his annoying new "friend" to leave.
"Oh well. Don't care. So what are we talkin' about?" He asked, faking interest, then his face lit up as if he got an idea. "Oh wait, me of course!" He laughed then played another riff on his instrument.
"What is that thing?" Tawni asked, pointing at it and looking at it with complete disdain. She obviously didn't approve of anything that was a breed of two different instruments. Chad looked down at it.
"What, this? Ohhh. This? This baby is a," He strummed the strings and played a few notes in a quick motion. "Keytahh!" He sang and bit his lip in a stereotypical rock star fashion. Sonny laughed, amused by Chad's display of uncharacteristically foolish behavior.
"Mmm hmm. And the reason you are carrying it around ...?" Sonny asked, wondering why Chad Dylan Cooper would be caught dead with anything that hasn't been in style since the 1980's.
"Umm, because Keytar's are O.G.?" He said sarcastically, as if it was obvious and Sonny was extremely stupid to even ask the question. Then he took the open seat he had been hovering over. "I found it in the storage room where we keep all the props for The Falls. Turns out we actually have one!" The two girls stared at Chad with slight antipathy.
"O.G.?" Tawni asked, obviously not understanding what the heck he was talking about.
"Mmm. Original Gangster." Sonny informed her. When Tawni looked at her with confusion on why she would know such a thing, Sonny rolled her eyes. "Don't ask."
"Anyways," Tawni said rolling her eyes. "Why are you even here Chad, your little 'posy' is waiting for you." She said, referring to the Makenzie Falls table. They were all looking at Sonny, Tawni and Chad with dirty looks.
"Posy? Ha. More like zombies. Sometimes the guys at the falls are just so ... boring. And as you can see by my beautiful Namida, I was feeling a little...Random today." He smiled at his pun and Sonny and Tawni pretended to laugh, cognizant of his attempt.
Suddenly, Portlyn appeared beside Chad, looking down at him as if he were crazy. "Ahem," She fake cleared her throat. "Chad, what are you doing over here? Why aren't you sitting with us?" She asked him, with fake innocence. She turned to give Tawni and Sonny the stink eye.
"Umm, because I'm Chad Dylan Cooper and I can do whatever I want?" He semi-answered her, using that same 'how dumb can you be?' voice he had used with Sonny just minutes before.
"Yeah but...but Chad," She stuttered, obviously flabbergasted that he would speak to her in such a way.
"But nothing okay? Look, you know why I can't eat with you guys. And even if I did sit with you, all I would be doing is torturing myself, which I prefer not to do. Now run along, the rest of the cast is awaiting your return." He dismissed her with his hand, which apparently meant he was done listening to her and she was done speaking. She huffed, balled her hands into fists and walked away.
"Huhh. See what I mean? It's like they can't do anything without my consent." He rolled his eyes and started messing with the strings of his Keytar.
"Wow. I always thought that Chad Dylan Cooper wanted nothing but a bunch of mindless minions swooning at his every word." Sonny stated, sarcastically.
"Well, yeah, but. I mean, come on. There's a difference between flattery and praise." He said, looking up for only a minute before going back to his Keytar strings. There wasn't, Sonny knew, much of a difference between flattery and praise since praise was considered a form of flattery, and flattery, was just a synonym for praise. But, Sonny understood what he meant and for that reason, she kept her mouth shut.
"Chad, why are you really here? And don't say 'You guys are my friends' or 'I was feeling random today' or whatever. There's a real reason you're sitting here and it's definitely not because you love us." Tawni said, although she looked like she wasn't very interested in the subject anyway, what with her checking her makeup in her compact mirror, one would only assume she wasn't.
"Whatever." Chad said, nonchalantly. Then he looked up at Sonny. "Hey, how come you guys aren't eating breakfast?"
"Um, if you're talking about the breakfast from this cafeteria, then you should know we learned a long time ago not to trust that oatmeal. But in general, we are waiting on Nico and Grady to bring us Cinnamania Buns from the mall. You know those really huge ones, like the size of your head? Plus, now they have whipped cream and caramel as a topping...yummm." Sonny groaned and rolled her eyes while thinking of the sugary goodness of the cinnamon bun.
Chad slightly blushed upon hearing Sonny's seductive sound effect, but quickly brushed it off his shoulders. He liked the sound of that Cinnamania Bun just as much as Sonny did, because his eyes got big as he licked his lips and he started to smile. "You're getting one too?" He asked Tawni. She shook her head vigorously, her blond curls swaying back and forth.
"Ha. Yeah right. Not today." She said, and went back to her tiny reflection. Sonny rolled her eyes.
"Tawni's not supposed to have any calaries today, so she ordered hers with no whipped cream, no caramel, no icing, and no cinnamon. Which is basically a huge bun." Tawni closed her mirror and looked at Sonny with a hurt expression.
"Hey! I'm getting fat free butter, remember?" She defended. Sonny made a disgusted face.
"Fat free butter? The majority of butter is fat! Take that away and what's left?" Sonny asked, not expecting Tawni to give her an answer. But she was ready for this question.
"A happy Tawni, that's what's left." Sonny rolled her eyes and shook her head once again giving up on trying to convince Tawni anything besides what she was already sure of. In Sonny's defense, this was a very difficult task to complete.
"Well then, I guess that means I'll be eating half of yours then." Chad stated, simply, and returned to picking strings on his instrument in no particular order.
"Whoa there. Ain't nobody getting any of Sonny's breakfast," Sonny stated, using third person. "I mean, what do you need a cinnamon bun for anyways, Chad? All of you guys at "The Falls" get gourmet food for breakfast, lunch and dinner." As if on cue, Portlyn walked by with a large stack of pancakes with a side of succulent bacon and scrambled eggs. Chad watched longingly as she continued past him, over to her table, joining the rest of her cast.
"Not me. Not anymore at least. The stupid lunch lady is 'mad at me' all because I told the other one she cooked the steak better. It's not my fault she doesn't know how to prepare food correctly. Well done means well done! Whatever." He said, shrugging unconvincingly. Although this story brought Chad much unhappiness, it amused Sonny and Tawni greatly. Anyone who would get so angry from someone criticizing their grilling technique seemed stupid in itself. But for a lunch lady to be so angry with Chad Dylan Cooper for doing so, as to refuse him food? Now that was just about the funniest thing Sonny and Tawni had ever heard.
"So," Sonny said, between laughter and trying to catch her breath. "The lunch lady isn't serving you anymore good food...because you said her steak wasn't above core temperature?" This caused Tawni to almost fall out of her chair with giggles and she banged the table trying to contain herself. Chad looked totally PO'd which only caused the girls to laugh harder.
"If only the meat wasn't so pink," Tawni added, once her fit of laughter had decreased. "There wouldn't be a sad cloud above this cafeteria." Chad picked up his Keytar and started playing that Spanish sounding riff again. "You guys can make fun of meeee all you want. But it's your food that IIIIII will be eataaaaaang until the lunch ladayyy forgives the Coopaaaah." He sang, once again off tune.
"Oh for the love of...!" A voice said from under the table. Tawni and Sonny's laughter vanished at the sound of the high pitched voice.
"Zora?" Tawni asked quizzical. Although she wasn't laughing anymore, her face was a bright shade of pink. "What are you doing under there?" Zora slowly stepped out from under the table with an embarrassed look on her face.
"Well I was seeing how long I could go unnoticed, trying to practice my ninja skills...But this guy!" She said, with noticeable annoyance, and smacked Chad upside the head, causing him to hold his hand to his head. "Is just singing away like a tone deaf walrus and I just couldn't take it anymore!" She yelled. "You-"
She was interrupted by Chad's hand that he raised putting her to a halt in her ranting. "Hold on a sec." He then went to his Keytar strings and played a little melody that Sonny recognized as the music that plays in movies when something bad or unexpected has happened. You may know this melody as 'DUN DUN DUNN.' He finished his climactic background music and looked back at Zora who sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Okay. Continue." He said simply.
"Thank you. YOU my good sir, should not only stop singing and playing that sorry excuse for an instrument for my sake, but for the good of all mankind!" That's Zora, Sonny thought, always rationalizing.
"Wow." Chad said, then looked at Sonny and Tawni. "Everybody's a critic."
"A CRITIC?! Who's being a critic?! I'm not giving you my opinion, I'm stating a well known fact!" Zora sure didn't like Chad's singing, Sonny thought as she watched the argument unfold. "You know what, forget it. You should keep singing! And you should go around playing that thing, whatever it is. But when you look twice and you see that your precious little instrument is gone, I won't say I didn't try to warn you." She said, using that serious voice of hers that always meant trouble. Chad narrowed his eyes at her.
"Are you threatening me, child?" Zora shrugged and looked away. "Sh-she's threatening me!" Chad snitched to Sonny and Tawni, as if they were her parents and he was tattling on her. He quickly pulled his Keytar as far away as he could without getting up and put on his poker face. "You'll never take Namida alive."
"Then I guess I'll just have to take her dead then, won't I?" Zora asked, not completely making sense but clearly getting her point across.
"SWIPER NO SWIPING!" He yelled at Zora, causing her to wince, then laugh at his odd choice of words. Sonny and Tawni laughed too, not just at Chad, but at the immature yet extremely intense exchange going on between the two.
"You've been warned. Zora out." She said, and popped under the table where she emerged from.
"Zora?" Tawni asked. "Zora, you're not technically leaving if you just go back under the-" Tawni had been talking under the table, but quickly popped her head back up with a scared expression. "She's not there..." Sonny and Chad exchanged looks then looked under the table also, then exchanged looks again.
"Yeah, the kid's just sorta kinda freakin' me out, so I'm just gonna go now." He started to get up out his chair.
"Wait, you're honestly gonna walk around with tha- I mean, 'Namida', all day long? Chad, don't you think that's just a little bit too, how can I say this nicely, stupid, childish, unmanly? Even for you? I mean it says rock star in pink for goodness sake." Sonny pointed out, still amazed that he was serious about his new favorite hobby and that it wasn't just a stupid joke.
"Um yeah. I do. And no, it's not 'unmanly'. Chad Dylan Cooper is all man!" He played an upbeat tune on Namida and began to sing. "Confident in my sexualitayyy. Just like ... Mariska Hargitay!" He sang as he walked away from Sonny and Tawni. "Oh yeahh. And don't forget to save a nice, sugary, cinnamon bun for meeee. Oww!" He played his little tune all the way out of the cafeteria, every single one of the cast members of Makenzie Falls staring at him with astonishment. Of course, this sent Sonny and Tawni into yet another fit of uncontrollable laughter.
BLAHH. So this was totally supposed to be a one-shot. Like, okay. Sorry. I have to interrupt myself because my dad is currently trying to clear his throat and talk at the same time. All between large fits of laughter. Hold on a sec........................................................................*Rolls eyes impatiently* Okay! So he's done. Now. Anyways. Where was I...Oh right. Okay.
So this was supposed to be a one-shot but I thought it was already pretty long PLUS idk if this idea only makes sense in my head, and maybe I should only post the first part and make sure everyone is on the same page. Now, keep in mind I did a story with the same concept for iCarly(Seddie) and True Jackson VP. So if you thought this was really stupid and lame and a huge waste of your time and you hate me for taking away a chunk of your life that you will never get back, then you can insult me in a review and never click my penname again.
BUT if you thought this was awesome and you really want me to update with the next chap, which I already have typed and will probably do in the next 2 days tops, then REVIEW. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. WHAT YOU LIKED. WHAT YOU HATED. Whatever. Just tell me. And I will completely disregard it and upload the next chapter the way it is. Well, it's already typed!