Dogs have all the Luck
Disclaimer: I know this may be shocking but I don't own HP. If I did, I'd keep Fred all to myself!
A/N: This was written for the Twin Exchange March Challenge and for Sarcastic Melody's Birthday. Sorry it's a little late. It's my first Hermione/Sirius but I like the way it turned out. Also, sorry guys, but the rating is for language. No sex scene here but I could be persuaded to try to write one as a sequel if enough of you review and ask me to.
Prompt: The Three Broomsticks, A Seven-Leaf Clover
Pairing: Sirius/Hermione
Quote: "You don't know where it's been!"
Theme: St Patrick's Day
It was 5 o'clock on a Wednesday and Hermione had just gotten off work. She went home to change into street clothes before she went to meet Harry, Ron and some of their old Hogwarts friends for drinks later at the Leaky Cauldron. She had completely forgotten that it was St. Patrick's Day, since she had spent the majority of it pouring through records at the ministry.
Yes, Hermione Granger had forgotten that it was St. Patrick's Day right up until the moment she apparated to the Leaky Cauldron. The normally brown door connecting the pub to Diagon Alley, was currently a nearly-blinding shade of chartreuse.
She quickly ran a hand through her frenzied curls and grumbled, "Oh no. They would make me come to a bar on St. Patrick's Day." She seriously considered just turning around and owling her friends to tell them that she got held up at work. She might have done just that if she hadn't promised, and they knew, the cheeky blighters, that she always kept her word. Well it could be worse I suppose, she thought, marshaling her courage. It could be April Fool's Day.
Just then an enormous black dog trotted up behind her and unceremoniously sniffed her rear end. His cold nose pressed against her inner thighs under her skirt.
"Ah," Hermione screamed and whirled around to see a slightly red-faced Sirius Black smiling crookedly at her. She slapped him across his face. "Sirius, what the hell were you thinking! I am not THAT kind of girl!"
Sirius clutched his face and said, "Damn, Hermione. You're stronger than you look."
"Is that all you can say to me right now?" Hermione drew her hand back to hit him again, but he caught her arm mid-swing. She tried to wrench her arm out of his grasp, but Sirius had too good a grip on her.
"No!" Sirius yelled. He growled in frustration and said through clenched teeth "I'm sorry Hermione."
"Well you'll have to excuse me if I don't believe your nose 'accidentally' wound up under my skirt!"
"Hermione, listen to me. When I'm in dog form, my instincts take over sometimes. I really didn't mean to offend you. I was just trying to say hello."
"That's no excuse," she said primly, although some of her anger started to dissipate. She stopped fighting Sirius though he did not let go of her arm.
"I know but you were just standing there with your back turned, wearing that skirt and well... I just couldn't help myself."
Her eyes narrowed. "One would think that after nearly 30 years of practice, you might be a little better at controlling your instincts."
"I really am sorry Hermione." Sirius said desperately. The situation had rapidly gotten out of hand.
Hermione took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Okay, let's just forget the whole thing."
Sirius nodded and then said, "So what are you doing out here?"
"Oh, um, I was just going to meet Harry and Ron."
"What a coincidence. I am meeting them too. Will you accompany me my dear," Sirius said, bowing theatrically in a false upper-crust accent. Upon standing, he offered her his arm.
Hermione eyed him suspiciously for a few moments before cautiously accepting. He pulled her inside the pub where they set about finding Harry and Ron in the sea of people and green decorations.
Sirius spotted Ron's lanky form and Harry's unruly black hair sitting at a table in under a magically-made rainbow in the corner of the room.
"Oi, over there," Sirius said to Hermione, pointing at them. He quickly pushed through the crowded room dragging Hermione along behind him.
Just as they got to the table, Sirius whispered, "By the way, nice knickers Hermione. I never really pictured you for a black lace kind of girl." He winked at her and her mouth hung open in shock. Before she could react further Sirius pushed her into Ron's arms, and ran to the other side of the large table to 'greet Harry' (or in actuality, to escape Hermione).
"Woah, Hermione," Ron said smiling. "I know we haven't seen each other in a while, but I didn't expect you to be this happy to see me."
Hermione groaned loudly and ran a hand through her wily curls, pulling her hair. She could tell it was going to be a long night.
A few hours later, Hermione sat at the crowded bar, nursing her green-coloured butterbeer and wondering when was an if she had stayed long enough for her to escape without offending anyone. Not that they would notice, she thought bitterly.
Harry was over at the table making out with Ginny, where he had been for the past 45 minutes, and she hadn't seen either of them come up for air yet. She doubted he even realized his glasses had fogged up. They really should get a room, she thought idly. She had another sip of butterbeer and looked over the rim of her glass at Ron. He was supposedly buying another drink before telling her about his work as a auror, but instead he was unsuccessfully attempting to flirt with the pretty female bar tender. She had long, straight black hair, heavy eye liner, black lipstick and very pale skin.
"Too bad he doesn't realize that witch is way out of his league, huh?"
Hermione jerked around in surprised. Sirius was standing behind her wearing a crooked smile.
Hermione shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Not only had she been avoiding Sirius since the 'dog incident' as she was mentally referring to it. She let a few moments pass in awkward silence, hoping he would take the hint and leave but when he made no move to walk away, she felt compelled to respond.
"Oh, I don't know..."
She let the sentence die not only because she was still trying to avoid Sirius, but also because although she knew he was right, she was still moved to defend Ron. Hermione looked around desperately for someone, anyone, she knew to get her out of this. No one was forthcoming.
"Uh huh," Sirius said sarcastically. He plopped down on the bar stool next to Hermione, reclaiming it from Ron, who had 'temporarily' abandoned it in order to lean on the bar, closer to the current object of his affections. He also casually reached over and picked up a shot of fire whiskey left sitting on the bar and downed it in one drink.
Hermione was so shocked, that it snapped her resolve not to talk to Sirius. She loudly and angrily whispered, "Sirius tell me you didn't just take someone else's shot."
"They didn't want it or they obviously wouldn't have left it for so long. Why shouldn't I enjoy it?" he said, smirking at her. She really is quite pretty when she's annoyed, he thought. I wonder why I never noticed before.
"Because!" she sputtered.
"Well, that's not a very good reason."
"Because you don't know where it's been!" Hermione's eyes widened comically. Why is he being so difficult!
"Oh I know exactly where it's been. Ron ordered this drink precisely 20 minutes ago when he started flirting with the angel of the damned over there. Honestly how cliche can you get. A gothic witch, really."
Hermione chucked despite herself.
"Oh my stars and garters!" Sirius said throwing an arm around her carelessly. "It seems Hermione Granger does have a sense of humour after all!"
Hermione knew she should be embarrassed but instead, she started laughing even harder.
Quite a few green butterbeers and shots of fire whiskey later, a very drunk Hermione staggered out of the Leaky Cauldron with an equally drunk Sirius. They didn't seem to be walking together, so much as holding each other up. Luckily, Hermione's apartment was just around the corner.
"You know, Herm... Herminny, Hermininny. Fuck, your names too long!" Sirius slurred. "I think you need a new name. From now on you shall be known as Bobinburkenhermenistrode!"
"I thought you wanted to give me a shorter name," Hermione said giggling.
"What you don't like whatever the hell I just named you? Fine, I'll call you Bob for short. HEY EVERYBODY, MEET BOB!" Sirius screamed the last part, throwing his hands up into the air. He even managed to walk a few steps on his own before he stumbled into a dumpster.
"Shh," Hermione whispered loudly. She half walked, half-crawled to the dumpster. "Sirius are you okay."
"Ugh, yeah, but why are you still whispering?" Sirius said getting up slowly.
"You know I don't know." She said and started giggling again.
"Hey Bob, look at what I found."
"Whazzat?" Her curiosity got the better of her giddiness.
"A seven-leaf clover."
"Are those supposed to bring good luck or bad luck."
"Must be good. I got to see your arse!"
This time she laughed until she was gasping for breath. And Sirius wasn't so drunk that he couldn't imagine making her gasp for breath after other, more pleasant activities.
Hermione composed herself after a few moments and announced in a solemn tone of voice, "I think I might be inebriated." And then she burst out laughing again.
"Leave it to you to use big words when you're pissed."
"Siriusly though," she choked out.
He groaned. "Tell me you did not just use that old joke."
"Okay, I won't tell you."
"Yup you're pissed. I think this is you're apartment. Maybe I should aparate home."
"Oh no you don't," Hermione said, temporarily sobering up. "I don't want you to splink yourself."
"Er, Bob, I think you mean splinch."
"Whatever, you're not doing it. You're staying here tonight!"
"Yes, Maam! I do love a forceful woman."
Hermione was awakened the next morning by a slight headache. She was laying on top of her bed wearing all of her clothes and her mouth felt like it had been filled cotton. She tried to get up and instantly was made aware of her mistake by the insistent pounding in her head. It felt like a Weird Sisters concert was taking place in her skull.
"Murghhh." she said, bringing her hand to her forehead. It was at that moment that her stomach decided to make her aware of it. She lurched to her feet and stumbled towards the bathroom. She stubbed her toe on the tiny, useless step to the bathroom and fell down. She hated that damn thing. She crawled to the toilet and threw up the contents of her stomach.
Before she knew what was happening someone was behind her holding her hair and gently rubbed her back. A familiar male voice said, "It's okay baby. You'll feel better soon. Where's your sober-up potion?"
She looked up and saw Sirius standing behind her before she had to turn her attention to the toilet once more.
"Potions cabinet. Top shelf," she managed to say, between bouts of nausea. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registered that it was odd that Sirius was here taking care of her, but at the moment she had more pressing concerns.
Sirius got up and quickly found the sober-up potion in the cabinet above the sink. He uncorked the bottle and held it in front of Hermione. "Here. Drink this."
She took a few sips and sat back with her eyes closed, waiting for the potion to take effect. She felt her stomach slowly calm down and her headache start to abate. It was then that she noticed the awful taste in her mouth. She told Sirius to leave the bathroom while she quickly brushed her teeth.
When she could think clearly, she went to look for Sirius. She found him in the sitting room browsing her bookshelf.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"You mean you don't remember throwing yourself at me last night."
"What?," Hermione said, as the colour drained out of her face. "I didn't. I wouldn't... Did I?"
Sirius laughed infuriatingly. "No you didn't Hermione. I just couldn't resist."
"Nice to know you're having so much fun at my expense," Hermione grumbled. "So what exactly are you doing here."
"We both got pretty drunk last night and you didn't want me to aparate home."
"Oh." Hermione said as the later parts of last night flashed before her eyes. She remembered holding onto Sirius on the walk home and then somehow the both of them ended up sleeping on her bed. Oh no, she thought.
"We, um, we didn't do anything last night, did we?" she asked in what she hoped was a casual tone of voice.
"What do you mean by 'anything.'" Sirius teased but he stopped when he saw the glare Hermione was giving him. He held up his hands. "No we didn't do anything."
"Oh... Good."
"Well I guess I should be going then."
Hermione realized that she really didn't want Sirius to leave. It was awfully nice of him to take care of me, she thought. The least I can do to repay him is offer him breakfast, right? A niggling little voice in the back of her head told her that maybe she wasn't being completely honest with herself about her reasoning but she pushed that thought away quickly.
"Sirius, wait. We're friends right and there's no reason this has to be awkward. Stay. Let me make you breakfast, you know, to thank you for taking care of me and all." Hermione blushed.
"Well if you're sure that's what you want..."
She nodded vigorously.
"In that case, I'd love to," he said, breaking into a wide smile.
He held out his hands to help Hermione up. She smiled and clasped his hands firmly. Sirius pulled her up with a bit more strength than he intended to and somehow she ended up in his arms. Her eyes widened and her mouth parted in surprise. Something in Sirius snapped and he quickly closed the distance between them, kissing her passionately and Hermione was kissing him back.
What's happening? Hermione thought. I'm kissing Sirius Black. Mmnn and he's quite a good kisser too.
Sirius' hands started roaming all over her body, caressing her breasts. She moaned softly and grabbed the back of his robe, pulling him closer.
Sirius pulled back, panting slightly and brought his lips close to her ear. "Hermione, I have a confession to make," He whispered. Hermione shivered as his lips brushed against her ear.
"What is it?" she said huskily.
"When I, er, sniffed you last night, it wasn't completely an accident," he said looking anywhere but her eyes. "I've wanted you for quite some time now."
"Oh... You know, I probably should be furious, but right now I think I could be persuaded to forgive you."
He smiled at her and said, "How's that?"
She smiled back. "Well you can start by joining me in bed. I'm sure I'll think of something else for you to do by the time we get there."
"I think that can be arranged," he said thickly and he quickly covered her lips with his.
A/N: Please Review. They make my day.