Author's Note: Yes, I know. It's another pre-To Love and Die in LAfic. I wrote most of this before the spoilers and sneak peeks ever came out, so please keep that in mind as you read. It's also a lot longer than I had originally planned. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. Mr. Marlowe and Co are doing a much better job with them than I would. I just like to play in their universe.

You know you love someone when you know you want them to be happy, even if their happiness means that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

Breaking up is a natural evolution when you try to figure out what you want in life. If you're with an individual who isn't moving in the same direction and at the same rate that you are, it ain't going to work.
- Usher Raymond

"Kate?" The voice coming from the doorway startled her. Not that she wasn't expecting someone; she was, but the voice belonged to someone she wasn't expecting. She quickly placed the shirt she had just finished folding into her suitcase and turned to greet her boyfriend.

"Josh? What are you doing here? I thought you were on shift." Even as she said it, she winced at how guilty it sounded.

"What's going on, Kate? Why are you packing?" His tone conveyed his confusion. He gestured to the open suitcase on the bed, now filled and just waiting to be zipped closed.

"I have to go out of town for a few days." She hoped he would think it was because of work.

"Where to? And don't tell me you're working. I called the precinct looking for you and they told me you were going to be off for a few days." She silently cursed and vowed to kick the ass of whoever told him that. "Were you even going to tell me you were gone? Were you just going to brush me off with excuses as to why would couldn't get together? What's really going on here, Kate?" His tone got more belligerent with every question.

"Josh-" she began, but was cut off by another voice coming from the living room.

"Beckett? The door was open. You ready to go?" Castle's voice carried to them easily.

When Beckett returned her attention to Josh, his eyes were radiating quiet fury and hurt. "You're going out of town with Castle?" he asked, quietly.

Beckett nearly sighed in irritation, but managed to refrain. "Josh." She paused again, trying to figure out what to say to him. He had pretty much nailed it on the head with his questions, because the truth was, she hadn't even thought about telling him. They had never really discussed her work. He had no idea who Royce was to her, and so he wouldn't understand why she was flying out to LA to find his murderer. Nor did she didn't have time to explain it if she and Castle wanted to make their flight.

"Beckett?" Castle's voice sounded closer and was now tinged with worry.

"Give me a minute, Castle!" she ordered and prayed that he listened for once.

"Kate," Josh, said as he visibly calmed himself. "I don't know what's going here, but-" He cut himself off and started over. "Look, you once asked me not to go to Haiti so that we – our relationship – had a chance. I stayed for you. Now I'm asking you to stay for me. Give our relationship a chance. I don't know where you're going, but I know it's not work-related, so if you're going somewhere with Castle…" He paused, trying to decide the best way to put things. "Well." He couldn't complete the thought, so he simply said, "Just stay. Please."

Her voice was a bit strangled as she replied, "I can't. I have to go. I'll explain it when we get back."

"Beckett! You need to hurry up or we'll miss our flight!"

"Please," Josh repeated, his eyes silently pleading with her.

"I have to go," she reiterated. She owed it to Royce to find his murderer.

Josh took a deep breath, standing up a little straighter, as if trying not to show how much her statement hurt. "Well, then. I guess that says it all. I think I'm going to take that offer to help in Japan. You can swing by and pick up your things while I'm gone without worrying about running into me."

"Josh, don't do this. Not now."

"If not now, when? It's been building for a while now, only neither one of us wanted to admit it. You've been avoiding me for days and now I know why." He slowly pulled out his keys, detaching one from the keyring. He hesitated for a moment before saying, "I'll leave this downstairs."

He turned and made his way down the stairs to a shocked Castle.

"Josh," the writer managed to say. "I didn't know you were here."

"I know." Josh held out the key to the now distinctly uncomfortable writer. "Here. This is yours now, I guess."

Castle held out his hand more out of reflex than desire for the object and Josh dropped it into his hand.

Josh took one last look at Kate, who was now standing at the top of the stairs, hoping she would say something, but her face was impassive.

He managed to say "Good-bye, Kate," before he turned and walked slowly out the door.

CB CB CB CB

Kate stood there, motionless, unable to absorb what had just occurred. When Castle turned his attention from the doorway back to her, she steeled herself for the barrage of questions, but the one he asked wasn't what she was expecting.

"Do you want me to go explain things to him?"

She made a decision. "No." When he just looked at her, his eyes full of empathy and tenderness, she broke eye contact. She repeated herself, this time a little more forcefully. "No. We don't have time." She disappeared back into the bedroom and emerged a few seconds later, carrying her small suitcase.

"Let's go."

"Beckett?" he asked, trying to get her attention. When she finally looked at him, he opened his hand revealing the key he still held. "Here," he said, moving his hand as if to give it to her.

When she didn't make a move in his direction, he tilted his head in puzzlement.

To his surprise, she stated, "Keep it."

Decision made, she strode determinedly out of her apartment with only one goal on her mind – to forget about anything except finding Royce's killer. Everything else could wait.

CB CB CB CB

She should have known better.

At least Castle waited until they were in the car, being driven to the airport by his service.

"Do you want to change your mind?" he asked, gently.

"What?" She turned to face him, outraged. She thought he, of all people, would understand why she had to do this. "Castle, I owe it to Royce."

"I'm not talking about Royce. I'm talking about Josh. Don't throw away your future because of your past, Beckett." Castle was staring at her so intently, and she realized he was talking about more than what he had just witnessed. "Royce made his own decisions. You're not responsible for him. If anything, he owed you. The court was lenient with him because of your testimony."

Somehow, she wasn't surprised that he knew about that, even though he hadn't been there. "He trained me, Castle. I wouldn't be the cop I am without his guidance and support."

"And you were in love with him." Castle stated it matter-of-factly, trying to hide the hurt he felt saying those words.

Beckett began to protest, but he cut her off. "I know you were telling him the truth when you said that. He lost his chance with you. And I'm sure that he wouldn't want to be the cause of you losing your chance with Josh." Castle couldn't believe how hard he was pushing Kate on this. Some part of him was hoping she wouldn't go after Josh. That she would stay with him instead. But her happiness was paramount to him and if that meant her being with Josh, so be it.

Beckett seemed to consider what he was saying, and his heart, which was already in the vicinity of his stomach, dropped to the floor. Despite what he had said, he really didn't want her going back to Josh.

Finally, she turned to him and he could read the hurt in her eyes before she even spoke.

"Josh and I are through, Castle. He didn't trust me enough to wait until I could explain things. What kind of relationship could we have after that?"

He was about to speak and offer comfort, when she turned around to stare out the window. "I can't deal with this right now, okay? I just want to get to LA and find Royce's murderer. I'll figure everything else out later."

With her head turned away from him, he started to reach for her, but reconsidered. He lightly touched her arm and spoke the only words that he could force out.

"I'm sorry, Kate."

Neither one spoke another word until they arrived at the airport. When Castle began walking past all the airline counters and terminals, Beckett finally caved in.

"Where are we going?"

"Our plane is this way," Castle said, hoping in futility that he could get away without saying anything else.

"What?" She stopped in the middle of the walkway, dropping her bag and causing several people to curse as they were forced to go around her.

Castle sighed as he picked up her bag. He began to walk again, forcing Beckett to catch up to him. "I chartered us a private plane. I didn't think either one of us wanted to be a in a plane full of other people right now, sitting next to strangers, even if it was in first class. But if that's what you want, you can buy a ticket and I can meet you in LA when your flight lands."

Beckett seemed to be having trouble getting past his first sentence. "You chartered us a private plane?"

"Yes."

"Castle, I can't expect you to spend that kind of money for this."

"If it makes you feel better, I'm writing it off as a business expense, since I plan to visit the set for Heat Wave while we are there. After all, that is my excuse for going to LA." He picked up his pace. "Come on. The pilot only has a limited window to take off and we're going to miss it if we don't hurry."

Before Beckett could absorb just how easily Castle had manipulated her into this, she was seated in the plane, and buckled up as the pilot readied for takeoff.

After they were in the air and allowed to walk around, Castle turned to her and said, "I think there's a wet bar if you want something to drink. It's going to be a long flight."

Beckett closed her eyes briefly as she considered just how much Castle was trying to make things more comfortable for her. She opened them to see Castle's look of concern before he could hide it.

"Thank you, Castle. For everything." She tried to grin. "But mostly, thanks for making sure I didn't have to spend the next six hours listening to some kid cry because he hates to fly or something. I don't know that I could have dealt with that. You were right."

Castle decided against making a joke. Instead, he focused on Beckett, trying to convey his sympathy with his eyes, and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Beckett was warned by the look in his eyes, but the question still caught her by surprise and she nearly snapped out at him, but bit the words back. She knew he wasn't trying to hurt her by bringing it up. To her surprise, she found herself saying, "He thought you and I were going out of town together."

Castle's expression showed his confusion. "But we are."

"He called the precinct and they told him I was taking a few days off. He doesn't know this is about work. He doesn't know about Royce."

"So he just thinks you're flying off with me for fun?" Castle's tone edged towards outrage.

"Something like that," she confirmed, the hurt beginning to change to anger.

"What the hell is he thinking? Doesn't he know you at all?" Castle burst out, and it fueled Beckett's own frustration.

"Well, what the hell would you have thought? What would you have done?" She flung the words at him, temper boiling over. She was angry at Josh for jumping to conclusions and not letting her explain. She was angry at Castle for trying to force her to deal with it now, when Royce's murder should be her first priority. And she was angry at herself for using Castle as a target to release it on. He didn't deserve it. Here he was, being sweet in arranging the private plane, and she was ready to tear a strip off of him for it.

Castle held eye contact with her and when he spoke, he was again calm. His voice radiated sincerity, and Beckett knew he was speaking the truth.

"I would wait for you. I would trust you. I would see all the little tells you have that show when you're in pain and suffering, and I would offer to comfort you in any way I could. I would be there for you, in whatever way you needed me to be. If you needed me to back off, I would. If you needed me to simply hold you, I would. If you needed to use me to vent your anger, I'd be there for you." He gave a little smile as he said that, before becoming serious again. "But I would never, never leave you unless you personally told me to go, and probably not even then."

To Beckett's ears, it sounded like he was making a vow, and she wasn't ready to deal with the ramifications of his declaration just yet. The anger had drained from her as she listened to him, to be filled with something she just wasn't ready to deal with yet. But she felt compelled to respond in some way.

Not knowing how to avoid hurting him, she closed her eyes again to break that contact between them and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly.

Very softly, she confessed, "It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I don't hurt nearly as much as I did when you left for the Hamptons."

"Kate…" Castle's voice was just as soft as hers, but his was filled with questions and underneath that, anguish which she knew was for her.

Without opening her eyes, she knew he was going to pursue it and she said, "Please, don't. Not now. I can't focus on the case with this. I need to put it away, okay?"

Castle was stunned. Beckett never said please, so the fact that she did was very telling. He was helpless to do anything but what she asked.

Beckett heard movement as Castle roamed around the cabin, opening various compartments until she heard him stop right in front of her. She finally opened her eyes to see him standing there, holding out a bottle of beer and a pad of paper.

Her eyes must have betrayed her confusion, and he spoke. "We might as well take advantage of the wet bar. But I'm afraid the plane isn't equipped with a white board, so we'll have to revert to pen and paper for your murder board. Why don't you get started while I make some hotel arrangements? Have you already made your reservations?"

She nodded and smiled her thanks as she took both items from him. He returned to his seat and immediately got on his phone. She watched him for a moment, still smiling at his thoughtfulness. Finally, she turned her attention to the pad he gave her, dug out a pen from her purse and began to write. Everything else was going to wait. But she knew that it was no longer a matter of if, but when.

And when was going to be soon.