Everywhere

Everywhere

By Michelle Branch

I can't sleep.  Ever since I was little, I've had trouble sleeping.  I went to the doctor's and I wasn't pronounced an insomniac, but there are times where I just can't sleep. Instead I lie awake in the darkness, letting memories and dreams run through my head.  Memories of the good times and of the bad.  And I know I can't sleep, because when I shut my eyes I know I'll see your face.  The face that continually haunts me, day and night.

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're never there
But when I sleep you're everywhere
You're everywhere

I suppose I have only myself to blame.  I was the one that started this, but it seemed to make sense at the time.  The close proximity, the secret glances, understood by only the two of us.  I knew it had to continue, but I also knew why it never could.


Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there

I tried to hide my feelings, passing them off as strictly platonic, and I know you did the same.  Yet lying here in my bed, arms wrapped tightly around myself to keep out the cold, I can only wish and dream that it was you.  And hope that someday it will be you.


'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I've never really felt this way about someone before.  I don't like this feeling, this hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach that can only be filled by the love you seem determined not to give.  You gave me passion, but that's all it was, empty passion.


I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
You might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

I would cry out my feelings of anguish, but it's late and everyone's asleep.  Everyone that is, except for me.


'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

But I know you're troubled, too.  I can see it in the dark circles under your eyes, circles that come only with the loss of sleep.  I know this, because I have those circles too.


I am not alone

I sense that you share my pain, my torture.  But why should you get to have a peaceful dreamless sleep, while I lay here, unable to think or comprehend anything but you?


And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

And then I hear an unmistakable rustling, a noise that would be music to my ears had I not known what it was.  You're also awake, sleep interrupted by persistent, nagging thoughts that dig deep into you and prevent you from sleeping.  I'm here, and I want to cry out to you, but I can't.  This is the way it has to be.


'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
It's you I breathe
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone