While this may be an unusual pairing, even for crack, I must explain: somewhere out there, Snape/Jesus fanfiction exists. I have read it. Because I have no religious affiliation, I thought sharing the love interculturally would be hilarious as well.
So enjoy.
Dumbledore collapsed into his chair. He raised his head and gazed at Fawkes.
"There are times I get tired of it all, old friend. If it isn't enough to have to hide my sexual orientation, I need to hide the identity of my lover as well."
As if on cue, there was a sharp knock on the entrance to Dumbledore's office. A deep voice reverberated through the room. "Tummy Rumblers!"
Dumbledore sat up straight in his chair. Could it be? Was his partner surprising him at work? He waited with fierce anticipation as the sight of his love came around the stairwell. His love may not be allowed to have had any images of him printed, but that was just fine with Dumbledore- that meant that his beauty was reserved for the headmaster himself. Dumbledore remembered when his love had first come to Hogwarts- he had been complaining of fierce visions, and after time, he had been able to control his magical prophecies with the help of Professor Trelawney.
"Mohammed!" There he came fully into the room, beard glistening in the dim lighting. "I didn't think you'd visit me over the second trimester!"
"Well, I had a feeling that you were feeling a little…lonely." The messenger grinned. He didn't have to be a prophet to know what Dumbledore was missing.
"Really?" Dumbledore could feel his heart rising to a race.
"Yes," The man reached Dumbledore's desk, bending over it to the wizened man there. "But that's not the only revelation that I received today…"
He didn't have to say any more. Dumbledore barely had enough time to call the gargoyle to attention before his loneliness was, quite quickly, taken away.
He'd have to tell Professor Sprout about the Mandrake seeds later.