"Ana, don't do this," Kristoff pleaded as he sat tied to a chair with Ana pacing around him. She had kidnapped him and held him hostage here; in an empty cavern. "It doesn't have to be this way!"

The girl glared at him with gleaming red eyes.

"Oh, but Kristoff, it does," she sneered, and then gradually began to cackle. "Oh, Kristoff! It does!" She threw her head back and cackled some more.

The poor blond boy shook his head in confusion. "Ana, I'm not even sure what it is I did. If you're going to punish me, at least tell me why!"

Ana furrowed her eyebrows and glowered at her victim. "As if you don't know, you dolt!"

"Ana, I've already told you. I don't know. Please just tell me!"

"Bah! Rubbish! It shall be straight to the death with you, you defenseless scumbag!"

Kristoff stared at Ana's fuming face gloomily. This truly was the end, wasn't it? He would never return to his Love Expert friends. He would never continue work at the ice-cutting business. He would never grow old with his trusty reindeer.

Wait...

"Sven!" Kristoff yelped. How could he have forgotten his most dearly loved friend? He must be tied up outside somewhere...

"Silence, fool!"

"But my reindeer-"

"SILENCE!" Ana's manly voice boomed throughout the cavern. "After all you've done, you have the nerve to come in here and bring up... reindeer!"

Kristoff was baffled. What did she mean?

"What do you mean?" he demanded, but Ana only glared at him some more. The glaring was beginning to become excessive. He was starting to notice Ana's lip hairs when she pursed her lips like that, and to be honest, they were rather attractive lip hairs, but Kristoff found it in his best interest to keep his mouth shut.

"WHAT DO I MEAN?!" There was that manly voice again. "I mean that you can't just go around with a campaign that states that reindeer are of higher intelligence that humans!"

Kristoff gaped. When had he done that?

"When did I do that?" he inquired.

Ana crossed her arms.

"The song. The freaking song. In that Disney movie, remember? I've read the original script. All you were supposed to do was fall asleep in some hay with a reindeer. But noooo. You just had to go off with your root-tootin' self and turn it into a musical number. And not only that, but you advertise humans as lowly and unimportant. I believe the name of the song was, ah, 'Reindeer are Better than People'?"

Kristoff winced.

"Ah, I was only-"

"Only what?" Ana blurted. "Only pioneering the roots of a twisted conspiracy? You have taught millions of children that they are of lesser value than a deranged donkey!"

"Reindeer, actually..." Kristoff mumbled. Ana frowned and gave him a smack in the face, which really made him want to keep his mouth shut.

"I simply cannot believe that a cotton-headed ninnymuggins such as yourself could possibly ever influence the minds of such innocent children! Are you AWARE of what I received in the mail today?"

Kristoff raised his eyebrows.

"Ah, no. Lucky for you, I don't spend my free time reading other people's mail."

Ana struck him across the face again.

"NO, you dimwit! THIS!"

From her pocket she revealed a crayon drawing probably done by a small child. It depicted a stealthy reindeer trampling a helpless young girl to death while in a bathtub.

The shocked young ice cutter scratched his head. Or at least he would have, had his hands not been tied so very rudely behind his back.

"I never said anything about a bathtub! Listen to the song! No bathtub whatsoever!"

Ana let loose a terrifying scream, which surprisingly sounded somewhat masculine. Hmm.

"Don't you see?" she wailed. "The child has already been so scarred! His poor little mind has been twisted so much that random outbursts of bathtub don't even come across as abnormal to him! And guess who's fault this is!"

He rolled his eyes.

"Let me guess..."

"YOU! It's YOU, the Evil Lord Kristoff!"

Kristoff smirked. Oh, Ana...

"THIS is no joke!" Ana roared.

"Of course not!" squeaked a voice that was neither Kristoff nor Ana's. The two of them froze. Ana slowly turned around and scanned the room cautiously, in hopes of finding the eavesdropper.

"Show yourse-" Ana began, but she was interrupted by a drop of freezing water that fell from the ceiling and landed smack in the center of her nose.

To be continued...