Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any claim to The Sally Lockhart series it belongs to Phillip Pullman and the BBC. I only own the plot and the original characters. I make no profit from the writing of this story it is for entertainment only please do not sue me.
For Harriett
Sally Lockhart looked out of the window as beautiful warm and bright sunshine shone though, reflecting off the glass of the large window. The reflecting warmth felt wonderful as she closed her eyes basking in the serene of calm she currently felt.
She thought of what she was about to reveal to Jim and Webster. She murmured to the form of Fred only she could see. He stood behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist, his head resting lightly against her own, "I think it's time we told them." She continues to look out of the window for a moment longer as she watches the only two men left who she knows she can completely trust to be there for her in her time of great need,
She lets out a sigh, there is a bittersweet smile curving gently against the corners of her lip as Fred vanishes. He is now only a much loved and cherished part of her memory. She will always love him, but knows it is not healthy to dwell in the past.
She slowly exits to the room, followed by the front door of the house. She had been viewing the house and finally decided that she and her two companions were going to purchase the property, it was too perfect for them not to.
She finds Jim and Webster sat on a blanket spread out nearby to a beautiful lake, which combined with the peaceful landscape of the countryside is nothing short of breathtakingly serene. Jim is setting out their small picnic lunch as Sally joins them, lowering herself carefully onto the blanket opposite her two companions. She says quietly, "I think we should take it."
She adds as Jim picks up some food out of a bowl, "It's got everything we could want, and there's plenty of space." She adds smiling gently over her shoulder as she gazes at the house, "And I found a perfect little room for the nursery."
Jim frowns as he asks in a puzzled tone, "Nursery?" he places some food in his mouth, there is still a puzzled, yet thoughtful expression upon his handsome face as he chews and waits for her to reply.
Her smile is small, delicate and radiant looking. It is the smile of a woman who is with child, who is happy and content in the knowledge of her up and coming motherhood. She replies, "I'm having Fred's baby. Are you shocked?"She asks, laughing quietly at their expressions. Jim beams, along with Webster. Jim asks around a warm chuckle, "Could you care less if we were?" Sally shakes her head, laughing quietly and lightly in reply.
Webster adds in delight, "I'm so happy for you. Sally continues to laugh softly as Webster reaches over and embraces her, followed by Jim. Webster continues to beam, saying in a happy and clearly elated tone, "What thrilling news."
As Sally turns to share a smile with Jim, the smile on Webster's aged face dimes considerably. He knew what had suddenly struck him had the potential to ruin the special and warm hearted moment between the three of them. He loathed the thought of tainting the joyful moment, but he knew what he had just realised held merit, very important merit. That realisation being the fact Sally now needed to take a husband.
She needed to take a husband in order to not ruin her reputation. In this day and age a woman who was with child and unmarried was considered to be a disgrace, a harlot, a scarlet woman, and many other less then flattering terms. Plus the horrid things that would be said about an innocent and defenceless child born out of wedlock, bastard was one term that sadly sprung to mind. No child deserved to be persecuted before he or she even had a chance to grace the world with its presence.
Her unborn child was going to need a father. He knew his nephew would not wish for his child to grow up without the influence of a father. Every child needed a father to guide them, especially if they were a boy. Every boy needed a father to teach them how to be a man.
Webster pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighs deeply. This caught the attention of the younger pair of the group. Sally asked, "Oh, what is wrong Webster, I thought you were delighted on the prospect of having a great nephew or niece?"
Webster sighed and looked up at the young and vibrant woman and replied, "Oh believe me my dear I truly am thrilled over the prospect of a great nephew or niece. It is just that something very unfortunate has just occurred to me, something which has the potential to ruin his very precious moment between us."
Sally frowned as she asked, "What could you have possibly realised that will ruin this moment between the three of us?" Webster replied, "Think about it my dear. We are in a time and age where a woman who is with child and is seen to be without a husband by her side is branded many a cruel and unsavoury term." He added, "Imagine what they would call a child born out of wedlock? I don't want that for you or my future nephew or niece, nor would my nephew. He would want his son or daughter to have a father."
Jim sighed loudly and said, "I do truly hate to say it Sal, but the old man has a fare point here. You cannot hide the fact you are going to be heavily rounded with your child in the months to come. Shallow people are going to stare, gossiping, making sly and underhanded comments." He added, "The terms scarlet woman, harlot, and even worse yet the term bastard child comes to mind. He or she will be persecuted. People will judge, not giving a damn that the child would have had his or her father if some nut-job did not burn our house to the ground killing him in the process."
He glowered darkly, his cockney accent thickening in his anger, "They aren't gonna give a damn about that Sal. Those good for nothing bastards are only going to see what they wanna see, that being a child born without a father, born out of wedlock. Their very young mother unattached and unmarried." He concluded, "In this day and age a reputation is all a woman can truly say is hers and hers alone. On top of that you have your father's business, and whatever is said about you will reflect upon the business as well."
Sally felt her jaw clench, hating the fact of how right they were no matter how she wanted to deny and avoid the solid and heartbreaking truth of the matter. She knew she needed a father for her child, but she did not want to marry out of convenience, but for love. Although deep down she could not help but be plagued with the notion that she was somehow betraying Fred's memory by just contemplating this alone. Even though she knew she has to move on at some point, knowing it was not healthy, nor did it do well to dwell in the past that could not be possibly changed.
Sally felt tears of helpless anger fill her eyes as she spat out, "And whom do you two suggest I marry, hmm, the next man who offers to take my hand in marriage perhaps?" She felt a tear slowly trickle down her cheek as she added, "What man these days is decent enough and willing to take on and father another man's child?"
She continued on, "I wanted to marry for love not out of continence. I wanted a man who is Fred, who I now cannot have. And I cannot help but feel I am betraying Fred's memory by having this conversation with the two of you alone." She concluded, "Who do you suggest I marry, who could I possibly, who will make me feel less like I am tainting the memory of my love for Fred?"
Webster replied, "Someone who Fred knew, who he respected and saw as a friend, who Fred trusted to see to the needs and welfare of you and his unborn child. Someone who he knew would do right by you who would love you enough for him. Someone who knew him knew his values, what he stood for, and what he believed in." He pauses, before making a point of looking at Jim as he finally concludes, ". And finally, that someone needs to be someone who still respects him enough, even in the face of his death, enough to respect the woman he loved in turn and not dishonour her."
Jim frowned as he asked, "But who could he have trusted enough?" Webster raised an eyebrow as he stared at the younger man in front of him pointedly, "Whoa! What the hell old man?" Jim exclaims, instantly catching onto what the older man was getting at.
Sally looked between the two men, wondering what could have caused Jim to react like that. It soon become very apparent as to what had caused such a reaction, as she took in the firm and knowing look on Webster's face and the shocked and incredulous look on Jim's.
She gasped, "You cannot be suggesting what I think you are." Jim nodded rapidly in agreement, saying, "No you really can't mate. What makes you think Fred trusted me like that, or Sal would want me as a husband and a father for her baby?"
Webster replied, "It is perfect. You both love people you cannot possibly have. Sally you with Fred for obvious and tragic reasons. Jim you and Lady Mary, due to the fact she obviously is already married to MacKinnon." Jim growled underneath his breath, "MacKinnon, the ruddy git don't deserve her." Sally and Webster heard him as clear as day and could not help but cringe at the sound of the dark and cold bitterness dripping from his voice.
Webster cleared his throat and continued, "You are both young enough to still have a chance of growing to love each other in years to come, even if it is never how a husband and wife love each other. Not all couples are in love with each other in this day and age." He added, "But you can bring each other great and much valued companionship."
He paused knowing what he was about to reveal would shock the two in front of him. He said, "I must confess that my marriage to Fred and Rosa's aunt was not one of our choosing it was an arrangement between our fathers." He continued at their surprised expressions, "I and she were not in love when we married, but did eventually full in love many years after we married. It took the birth of our second born to realise exactly how much we had genuinely grown to love the other. I and she were around the age you two are now."
He sighed sadly, a true and deep sadness creeping into his voice, "I dreaded the thought of marriage to a woman I was not in love with, who was not of my own choosing, loathed the thought in fact. But when she died of a lung disease less than ten years ago, I felt like my heart had been shattered beyond repair."
He paused to compose himself before continuing, "I felt like I would never feel whole again and I don't feel completely whole, knowing I won't feel whole until I am with her once again. But I know I can go on until it is my time to join her wherever she maybe. The only reason I can do this is because I have the memories of her that I carry with me wherever I go."
He smiled a bittersweet smile, his eyes alight with memories of past love and happiness as he said, "I was married to her for over fifty five blissful years, and cherish those memories and the four children we had like nothing else in this world. And deep down I know you two can have the same."
He concluded, "Fred would want it, as would I am certain Lady Mary, I honestly feel that she would not want you to suffer without love for the rest of your living days, Jim. Both of them would want you to go on to love and be happy or as happy as it is possible to ever be."
Sally and Jim looked troubled as well as deeply thoughtful. Jim said, "I need to think of about this. What you're suggesting is huge, beyond life altering." Sally nodded and replied, "I agree. And I also need to think about this." Webster nodded and said, "Naturally. Now let us finish our picnic. You Sally need to keep up your strength and remain healthy for your baby." Sally and Jim nodded half-heartedly.