"I don't care about that, just fix this and then you can go back to whatever occupies your time, ok mister Harper? Now, Harper"
-
"Whatever did happen to mister??" Harper wondered, feeling his heart aching, hell, he's the one that was stuck on this stupid planet, in this stupid system, with this stupid people for three years, yet the good oll' capitain made it seem like he was caring all the pain...What the hell did he know about pain, he wasa stuck in a stupid black hole for 300 years, all it took to turn his enitre Universe into a garbage pile, into a playground for the nietzchiens, into a death camp for hm and his family...
"Beka wants to fit me with a self kicking but, how exacly did she forget that she and the "capitain" asked me to built the teleporter? Why am I still doing this?? Why do I let them get to me like this?? I call myself a genius on a daily basis, turns out I'm an idiot... I could just let them hadle it, handle the aproaching sun on their own, handling the circuit melt down and building Rommie back on their own...That's what I'll do, I lost way to many friends in this stupid quest to save a world that doesn't want to be saved"; Hohne, Brendan, Hohne again...hell even Sembler." Harper gaved a small laughter, "Sembler, you were my only friend here,a nd somehow I managed third hand to get you killed...I 'm so sorry!!"
Harper felt like enough was enough and without a word he left the machins shop were he'd been strugling to figure out a way of stoping Trance's sun from ultimately melting everyone down, if he was gonna die he wanted to do it on his own, not surrounded by people that in all their time toghether had shown him nothing more then contempt. He remembered when they saved his life, but also those words that felt wrong yet he couldn't figure out why, until now: "Well, mister Harper, if we lose you who will fix the ship?"
"And they always say that with a smile...How about me? Huh?? I 'm not that much of a narcisist not to need someone to help me feel good about myself, I freakin need a pat on the back every now and then, I mean Dylan is way to ego centric, but Beka? She is...was like my older sister, she always felt like family, but now all her words are so harsh, and they hurt. Hello I WAS STUCK HERE LONG BEFORE YOU!!! I TOUGHT YOU ALL DEAD!!!! And when you came back, you were all so burned out, so dry, no emotion...Oh wait HATE!!! That's an emotion, my bad! "
Tears were strugling their way towards freedom, but he wasn't ready to give up his mask, not yet.
"I'm strong too, maybe I'm afraid, but they just don't know...They all left, Beka left I stayed on Archology, yet I'M THE COWARD, well how about that Capitain God almighty, wasn't you who left through the Road of Ages? Leaving us all behind??? "
His entire head was screaming, all the pain, all the memories were trying to make themselves heard, trying to make them crazy. He remembered how his uncle once told him that there is nothing happier than a crazy man, they dream themselves full, they dream themselves free, they never hurt,because they don't live here, they have their own private Earth, where everything is beautiful, the sky is blue and you can see the stars...there are no nietzchiens."When you can't take it no more Seamus, go crazy, then everything will be so much better!"
"Famous last words, or wait those were, What could happen? or maybe How bad can it be?? I wanna slam my head against these walls, I wanna go crazy, I wanna live an eternal dream where I am happy, where my family is still alive, where I never heard of Seefra, of Beka or The Capitan!!!
Damn, I never tought my own mind can spit out words with so much disgust!! However that makes me happy!!! Wow, turns out my mind can also give out bitter laughter...I'm smarter than I tought, or just sadder than I tought, I guess it's the latter"
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"Mister Harper!!!? Andromeda locate Harper", Dylan ordered using his most annoyed voice.
"Harper has left a half an hour ago, he left a private message for you." The implacable voice of the ship was heard.
"On screen!"
"Hey former Boss, emphasize former. This is officialy my resignation!" Harper was smiling, but his eyes were not. Saddnes seemed to fill them, however the engineer was looking more eager than ever to say good bye to his now ex-home.
"Well, I 'm not gonna say this was a good run, cause for me it wasn't!! To much death tends to spoil even life on the most beautiful ship in the whole known Universe, maybe I should correct that, considering She's the most beautifull thing in this system too, and this isn't quite the known Universe, now is it!?! Anyway back to my point I decided to die peacefully and blissfully on Seefra, if by any chance you manage to save the day again, well then I guess my life will be peacefull and blisfull, instead of my death.
Please don't say I don't have time for this!! Like you always do when you're annoyed at me or at anything, have that much consideration, for what may very well be a dying man in a dying system...I don't hate you anymore, for what happened on Earth, for Hohne, the magogs, and everything else, see I did for a long time...turns out I'm a better actor anyone has been giving me credit for...And looks like beka doesn't really knoe me all that well, neither does Doyle, I'm quite capable of hatered and I'm surprisingly goos at it. But anyway, like I said, this is Good bye. Please tell the others I said what I just did."
With that the message ended, leaving a very confused capitain staring at a blank screen.
"I don't have time f..." He stopped and somehow for the first time he realised just how he's been treating his engineer, his crew, how he snapped at Beka, how he mocked Rhade, how he mistreated Doyle, how...How self absorbed in his own little world of perfection he has been.
"Andromeda, send this message to The Maru, and tell Beka and Rhade I'm sorry for everything."
"Message send"
-
"I can believe he left, he left beacause of me too, he said that, he said what I never..."
"Matriarch, Beka, are you okay?" Rhade was getting worried, since she saw the message she went from, he will come back, he always does to "it's my fault, I treated him so badly." He agreed with Harper's gesture, he like the engineer, but he always tought of him as a weak pearson, never standing up to defend himself when Dylan and Beka made jokes, that they didn't realise were puting Harper down...He remember how after one of this "jokes" he went to see how Harper is doing and found him trashing the machine shop. He felt a little guilty for leaving without saying a word, but it ws the first time he realised that Harper, the one they all knew, was nothing more than a mask of the real Harper.
"Stop calling me that!!! Maybe that's why he left, because I am your "mother"!!!
"Beka, it's not like he relocated to the known Universe!" Now Rhade was getting mad "He's on Seefra 1, the one planet of the system that according to his calculations won't be engulfed in flames once Trances sun aproaches!! He's hurt and feels betrayed, he spend after all more time here than us, and we felt like crap untill we met again, it took a paradin killing Dylan to bring us back to our old selves, unfortunatelly that means that Harper also let you get to him like before...With your jokes, constant mocking, putting him down..."
"We don't do that!! I don't do that!"
"Yes, Matriarch." Rhade answered in a very mocking voice
"I do that??? Answer me Rhade!!"
"You ask him to do things, when they back fire you blame him alone, but you never help, not that I do, but then again I never claimed I'm better than you and Dylan. You always get into his skeems, but when they fail, you always make it seem he was alone in it, hell even I took a long time to help him rid of that drunk trying to steal his crio cooler, and I only did it for the bottle he almost broke."
"Maybe we need another paradin from the future to help get us on the right track..."
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OK, guys, hope you like it, I know it's been done before, but hey, I don't think this things should be forgotten.
If you have any suggestions please review.
See you when I have the next chapter ready :):) As you all know writing is very therapeutical, so even if you don't like it, I'll keep on doing it :) pretends not to care and gives a shy smile :)