Title: A Scotsman And An Englishman Walk into Chez Chez
Author: BipolarMolar
Disclaimer: Not mine. But Hollyoaks are welcome to Joel…
Ok, so Joel's not my favourite character, let's not lie about that. But after reading a brilliant Woel fic, I really wanted to write some Woel (or as my sibling calls it -Joker) and I started this WIP. I wanted lascivious, experienced Walker debauching young Joel, dubcon galore. There will be slash and humour, and some really lame Scottish puns, courtesy of Simon Walker. Enjoy…and review.
Joel had questioned his loyalty to Brendan before, but now, the times where he considered throwing in the towel (preferably at Brendan's head) and telling him where to go- well, these moments were becoming alarmingly frequent. And it was all because of Simon Walker.
How the hell could Brendan trust him? Everything about the man set off warning bells in Joel's head- that superior attitude, that constant smirk. He was dangerous. An idiot could see that. And yet Brendan kept him around, a useless toy, making stupid jokes and working his way through their alcohol. He was lazy too. Oh, when Brendan (or even Cheryl) was around, Walker would work at the bar, with those huge eyes unthreatening an odd smile playing on his lips. But when it was just him and Joel…forget it. He'd lounge on the sofa, or at the bar, knocking back drinks and criticising Joel's work ("Those bottles aren't facing the right way."). He never refused to work; he just found ways around it. Claiming he had to "Be somewhere" or "Do something." The choice of his words infuriated Joel too. "Son", "Good Boy ". Joel hated to be patronised so that's why Walker did it. It always made Joel want to hit something. Or someone.
So now, as Joel wiped down the bar with a rag, musing upon this train of thought, he was broken out of his reverie by the sound of footsteps approaching. He looked up and scowled. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
"What do you want, Walker?" he said immediately, not wanting to drag this out. Walker smiled, stopping in front of the bar. He folded his arms, tapping his foot on the floor. Tap tap tap.
"Joel, I've been meaning to have…a wee blether." There was so much emphasis on the last two words that Joel felt obligated to ask him to explain himself.
"What?" Joel snapped in irritation.
Tap tap tap. "A wee blether- that's a Scottish way of saying 'A quick chat'- isn't it" Seeing Joel's blank look, Walker gave a wide smile. "Come on. Don't render all my nights watching Taggart obsolete."
Tap tap tap. That was really starting to get on his nerves.
"Look, Walker, I don't- oh, fuck!" Distracted by Walker's games, his tapping, Joel accidentally knocked over a bottle of beer. He rushed off in search of a plastic bag for the broken glass, and tissue. As he knelt beside the shattered bottle, carefully picking up the shards and wiping the floor, he glowered at Walker's trainers, still tapping.
Tap tap tap. "You missed a spot-"
"Right! That's it!" Joel jumped to his feet, enraged. "I hate you, Walker! Y'know that? You may have fooled him-" both men knew exactly who he was referring to, so the point to the office of Chez Chez wasn't needed. But Brendan was out anyway.
"-but you haven't fooled me! I want you out of my life, and my job, I want you- gone. So get the fuck out!" Damn, it felt good to say that. Every resentful thought that had seethed in his mind. He'd needed to say that. There was silence for a few seconds. Joel was at first pleased, he reckoned he'd managed to ruffle the unflappable Simon Walker. But no, the man hadn't shown any surprise at Joel's outburst, he hadn't even( and credit to him) moved away when Joel had been screaming in his face. It was actually uncomfortable, Joel realised, seeing the man towering over him, blank-faced and silent. Rather like when a child would have a tantrum in a school and the teacher would wait for them to stop, not show a reaction. He could almost see the words "Are you finished?" lingering in the air. That smile of Walker's never strayed far from his lips, so it was no surprise when he smiled.
"I deserved that, to an extent." Walker said, matter-of-factly and Joel's head whirled. Not about to lose face in front of the Englishman, he brazened it out.
"Yeah, you did. You do it on purpose, this stuff. These games."
"True. But be warned, I said to an extent. You were right to say I've fooled Brendan, but you were wrong to tell me to get out of your life. I'm here now, and you know what? I think I like it here. I might stay." The smirk was back.
"You-you-"
"Gotta say, you took my- what was the word you used- ah, games all in good grace. I might even let you off the hook for shouting at me…"
"Look-" Joel crowded Walker, although the height difference meant he had to stare up into those awful eyes. "You're gonna leave, Walker. You're gonna leave Hollyoaks or I'll get Brendan to make you leave."
Unfortunately, his threat didn't have the desired effect; Walker tossed back his head and laughed out loud. "Force me out of town? Really? Didn't know you had that much sway, Scottish Foxy-"
"YOU DON'T CALL ME THAT NAME!" Joel yelled, enraged beyond reason.
"YES I BLOODY WELL WILL, JOEL!"
Joel stood back, startled. Walker's face had changed as he'd let the mask drop. His eyes had shone madly with anger, his teeth bared. He looked far more dangerous there than he and in al the time he'd been there. He looked angry enough to kill.
At once, Walker's expression cooled, his face losing the venomous fury, seeming once again calm. The change was so sudden it was alarming.
"Ok," Walker held up a hand, panting slightly form his own outburst. "That was uncalled for. It takes a real man to admit when he's wrong, Joel. You'll learn that one day. But having said that, there is still the matter of your…unpleasant attitude."
When had Walker got so close? Joel took another step back, feeling uncomfortable. "My attitude?"
"Oh yes, because I was eighteen once, I know what it's like. You think you can do everything, know everything, when you're eighteen. I'm surprised Brendan hasn't taken you to task about this already. You need to learn to respect your elders." There was something subtly ominous in the words, a veiled double meaning. Joel searched Walker's face, trying to see his intentions.
"You're easily riled, Joel. You know, this might be fun. For both of us."
"Whatever you're-" Joel started, taking another step away from the man. He didn't get very far. Walker's hand shot out, grabbing Joel firmly by the forearm. Joel struggled, but the man was stronger than he looked.
"You've got a lovely mouth, Joel. Has anyone ever told you that? I wonder…shall I kiss it?"
The alarm bells that would ring were now screeching klaxons as Joel tried to pull away. "I'm not gay, Walker." He said bluntly, still trying to pry Walker's long fingers off his cuff.
"Trust me, no boy is straight. No boy knows what he wants at eighteen. You're just as clueless as I was when I was a lad." His eyes flickered down to rest on Joel's mouth.
"Mmm…wonder if you taste of deep-fried mars bars," he paused. "Or haggis. Something Scottish anyway…"
Joel tore his arm from Walker's hand, taking a hasty step back.
"You're mad, you're absolutely mad..." He said in disgust. He kept taking backward steps, not daring to turn his back on the man.
"That's not what the voices in my head tell me," Walker said mildly, following Joel in measured, even steps. What the fuck- the voices in his-? Was he joking or not?
Joel kept backing away from him and Walker let him, following at the same pace so the distance between them didn't change. Joel had once watched an animal documentary where a lion had followed a herd of gazelle leisurely, waiting for one to separate from the rest before pouncing. He now knew how that gazelle felt.
He realised too late that Walker's steps were even less random than he thought- he'd been deliberately shepherding him to the office and now, as he stumbled into the little room, he was aware of that even though Walker hadn't yet done anything, Joel was well and truly fucked.