Hello everyone! This is my first story on this site, and I wanted to make a short story to get started. I doubt anyone will actually read this, but whatever.
The Shrektastic true story of Bleach
My name is Ichigo Kurosaki.
I was 15 years old.
I've had the ability to see ghosts for as long as I can remember.
I also had orange hair, which caused me to get bullied at school.
Whenever I came home late because I was helping a ghost, my dad would beat me.
"What kind of father attacks his son for being late, after he helped a spirit find peace?" I asked.
"Silence! So it's the ghosts fault now, is it?" He responded.
I try attacking him, but he kicks me and sends me to bed.
I'm laying on my bed facedown. The open window lets in a cool breeze.
"What is love?" I ask myself. "What is life?"
Suddenly, a smell of onions tingle my nose.
I see the silhouette of a figure moving across my room.
"Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?" I ask.
The person doesn't respond.
"If your trying to rob my house, your not doing a good job." I say.
The person says in a low voice, "it's here."
"What's here, the safe?" I say as I jump out of bed and drop kick the person in the back.
The figure turns around, as if my kick did nothing to him. I see him in the light from the window. The beast stood at almost 7 feet tall, and he had green skin.
"What do yer think ya doin, laddie?" It asks in a deep voice. I cannot speak.
The beast stares at me, then suddenly sees a ghost hiding next to my closet.
He grabs the ghost by the neck, and sticks a finger in his long green ear, and pulls out a meter long stick of earwax. He burbs and the tip catches fire, like a candle. He sticks the opposite side of the candle up the ghost's anus.
"I don't won't to go to hell." The ghost whispers.
Where your going is not hell." The beast says. It's called the soul society, where spirits go to find rest."
The ghost looks up, a twinkle in his eye. "Really?" He asks.
The beast looks at him in the eye. "No."
Before the ghost can do anything, the beast whispers "This is the part where you run away." He then proceeded to pull the earwax candle so deep in the ghost, that he turned into an onion.
I try running away, but the beast grabs my leg.
"Where do yer think yer goin ladie?" He asks. I try to answer, but no words come out.
He leans in close to my ear and whispers "This is my swamp now".
I almost faint. How could I have forgotten about him? It was the Ogerlord Shrek.
I fall to my hands and knees. I am ashamed of how I acted in from of his magesty.
"Please forgive me, great onion King." I whisper. "Don't grind my bones for bread".
Shrek chuckles. "Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now ogres, th're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! They'll shave your liver, and squeeze the jelly from yer eyes!" Shrek pauses for a moment. "Actually, it's quite good on toast."
I bow my head in shame. I know what I must do for forgetting him.
"Oh great Shrek, I am not worthy to live. Dispose of me."
Shrek gently touches my chin and tilts my head up. "Yer don't have to be ashamed laddie, I've always thought of you like a son. In fact, I've always wanted to give you some of me powers."
I could not believe what I was hearing. I bend over and await his zanpakutō to enter me.
Shrek drops his pants, uncovering a massive green zanpakutō. The two onions dangling beneath it give off a sweet smell.
I'm ready.
Shrek inserts the zanpakutō into me. It's so long that it touches my heart.
Suddenly, an explosion went off from inside me. It was equivalent to a Shrektomic bomb.
When the white swamp fog cleared, I was wearing a black robe and holding a zampakutō. I was a Shrekigami.
Shrek was gone. He had left through the window.
I close my eyes and pray to Shrek, thanking him for giving me powers.
"Shrek is love." I say. "Shrek is life."
Well, how did you like it? Just another Shrek story? I will be uploading long stories (that do not involve the Ogre Lord) in the future. Unless you guys want more Shrek.