Tenchi Masaki: Repo Man

by JockoMegane

Tenchi gets a part-time job. Updated 8-30-04, still IncompleteWork In Progress.

"Tenchi Masaki: Repo Man."
By JockoMegane.

Send all comments to This is an unfinished story. A Work-In-Progress, I might return to it someday, or I might not. I think I will, but I decided to post this half of a rough draft just for shits and giggles.

SYNOPSIS: Tenchi gets a part-time job as a Repo Man. Tenchi Muyo/Repo Man fusion.

DISCLAIMER: Tenchi Muyo and his gang of backwoods moonshiners are property of AIC and Pioneer LDC. I don't own them, I'm not profiting from this, neither should anyone else, and please don't sue me. Repo Man is property of Universal Studios and Alex Cox.

Transcript of Alex Cox's excellant film which this story is based on:

http/users.

Update 8-30-2004: Some more pages of first draft madness. Just so everyone knows that I haven't abandoned the story.

"Nothing to be done."

These four words were uttered in English from the man behind the wheel of the 1987 Ford ThunderBird as he weaved in an out of the oncoming lane on the highway leading into Okayama. This reckless driving led to a motorcycle cop soon making his presence known in the ThunderBird's rear-view mirror.

Slowly, the man behind the wheel pulled the car over. He remained hunched over the steering wheel, singing some incoherent song until the cop knocked on the window with his night-stick.

The man rolled down the window. "License and registration."

The man did as he was told, after the cop got a good look at the license he looked back at the man. "Out of town, huh? From America? Speak Japanese? You know you're supposed to drive on the other side of the road, right?" he looked at the rear of the vehicle, "what do you have in the trunk?"

"Oh," the man answered, "you don't want to look in there."

"Give me the keys," the cop put out his hand.

Keys in hand, the cop went back to the trunk, put in the right key, turning it. The trunk opened, bathing the cop in a blinding light. So blinding, his hand immediately went to shield his already sunglasses clad eyes...but he wasn't able to complete this simple human reflex, for a second later he was no longer human.

The truck snapped shut again by itself, the man starting the car back up again soon resumed his meandering course down the road. Soon he passed a sign reading "Okayama - 50 KM."

In place of the cop, there was now a water sprite. "Kappa...kappa..."

At school during lunch, Tenchi Masaki was sitting with Amagasaki. "So I can't farm carrots anymore, I have to get a job outside the house to help with the bills."

"Shit," Amagasaki whistled, "why can't your Dad just sell his car?"

"He did," Tenchi answered, "now he has to drive the mini-van. Damned salary cuts...I suggested to Dad that he might, just might, take a look around for a job with another firm, but he wants to remain loyal to the company and he says it's something I can't understand because I'm not going to be a salaryman."

"Well, he does have a point there, Tenchi."

"I suppose," Tenchi sighed, "how's the supermarket doing? They need help?"

Amagasaki chortled, "got fired yesterday."

"That's too bad, Amagasaki."

"I'm not sorry," the fat kid smiled devilishly, "it gives me more time to find Edge City with Mitsuru and Keiko."

Tenchi sighed, annoyed with his friend. For the past few weeks, Amagasaki had been talking excitedly about a place called Edge City that "had to be somewhere," as Amagasaki stubbornly insisted, and that he and Tenchi's old friends from junior high were going to find it.

Speaking of whom, Tenchi's old junior high friends, Keiko and Mitsuru choose that moment to drop down beside them.

"Heya Tenchi!" Mitsuru bellowed, giving Tenchi a punch in the arm.

"Thought you had detention, man?"

"Out, me and Keiko are going to fuck in the broom closet over there."

Keiko licked her lips invitingly for Mitsuru's benefit. Tenchi groaned, Amagasaki looked on with his typical grin on his face.

"See you two around," Mitsuru called as they slipped away.

Tenchi shook his head, Keiko and Mitsuru had been an item since the eighth grade when Tenchi asked Keiko to go to the dance with him and she refused, prefering the company of Mitsuru. Tenchi took it well, but taking it well doesn't matter when for the past several years all Keiko and Mitsuru have done is talk big with Amagasaki and flaunt their relationship in front of everyone, especially Tenchi. Amagasaki, for his part, was still holding a torch for Keiko and waiting for the day Mitsuru and her parted ways.

"Come on," Tenchi said, grabbing that day's newspaper. "Let's go outside."

Amagasaki nodded, following him. "Say Tenchi, I hear The Circle Jerks are going to be playing at the JoyBuzzer next week..."

"Night watchman at a construction site."

Amagasaki didn't respond.

Tenchi read some more, "Love Hotel clerk."

"Yup," Amagasaki nodded, smiling.

Tenchi sighed, "Panty vending machine repairman."

"Yup! Yup!"

"School Girl Date Club operator...work from home, no experience necessary."

"Yup! Yup! Yup!"

Tenchi laughed at the next employment listing. "Asbestos worker. City of Industry."

"Circle that one."

Tenchi nodded, going on. "Panama Jack Sales Representative," he laughed, "isn't that absurd?"

"Yeah?" Amagasaki threw him a look, "you think that's funny, Tenchi? There's fucking room to move in Panama Jack, man. You know I could be regional representative in two years? King! God!"

Tenchi handed the paper to his friend and looked out at the school yard, "You know Amagasaki, I had a really wild dream last night."

"I'll bet," Amagasaki snorted as he circled various listings.

"It was with you and me," Tenchi recalled, "and we were working down in this sleazy hotel in Orlando, Florida. And we were bellhops and sixty-five years old," Tenchi shook his head, remembering that little detail, "It was so real..."

Amagaski threw him a probing side-ways look, "and then what? You woke up in a puddle?"

"I'm not gay, Amagasaki."

Amagasaki looked straight at Tenchi, he put a hand on his shoulder. "Tenchi...as your friend, I just want you to know that it's okay by me."

Tenchi groaned, getting up from the ledge where they were sitting. "Where you going, asshole?" Amagasaki yelled.

"Away from you."

"Oh." Amagasaki nodded, "I'll call you tonight!"

Tenchi opened the door, for a half-second expecting Ryoko and Ayeka to greet him before he remembered that tonight was their self-appointed "hobbie night." Ayeka went to her quilting group, while Ryoko went to an arts and crafts class. For another half-second Tenchi looked forward to Sasami's cooking, but that was quickly dashed when he remembered that Sasami would be on Jurai visiting her parents for another month. Ryo-oh-ki had also gone, rather than part from Sasami, and Ryoko had decided that it was okay.

"I'm home," Tenchi called as he took off his shoes.

"Hi son," his father's voice answered from the living room.

"Hi Tenchi," so did Kiyone's.

Tenchi made his way through the living room and found his father and his new girlfriend watching...'Oh Kami-sama...him?' Tenchi's wondered.

"Tsunami has told me personally. Yay, for I walk with the Lady. She said Lord Seiryo you and your flock shall seek the promised Tree. But only if you first destroy the twin evils of heterosexual male dominated religions in space, and the rise of Anti-Tree forces at home. Oh Heaven and Ocean smash 'em down! Now my friends--"

Tenchi decided to pay the TV no mind as he walked in. Kiyone and Nobuyuki were seated on the couch, holding hands and gazing intently at Lord Seiryo the Tsunamic Preacher. 'At least he's found something to do with himself,' Tenchi thought.

"Anything for dinner, Dad?"

"There's some stuff in the fridge, Tenchi," Nobuyuki answered. Tenchi proceeded there as Seiryo continued his sermon.

"Occasionally we get a letter from someone saying that Lord Seiryo only wants your money, and to sell his book. And do you know what, sweetie? They're right! I do want your money and book purchases, because Tsunami wants your money! So I want you to go out, mortgage that home, sell your spaceship and send me your money. You don't need that spaceship! But Tsunami needs your money!"

Tenchi walked back into the living room and sat in a chair, spoon in hand, he began eating out of a can marked "FOOD" in blue print on a white label.

"Put it on a plate, Tenchi," Kiyone said, "you'll enjoy it more."

"Couldn't enjoy it anymore, Kiyone," Tenchi swallowed some FOOD, "Mmm Mmm Mmm. This is swell."

"Dad?" Tenchi asked after another spoonful of FOOD.

"Yeah, son?" his father asked as he looked up from the TV listings.

"Do you remember you said that if I kept my grades up this semester you'd give me the money to go see The Circle Jerks the next time they rolled into town? Well, they are next week. I'd really like to go, Amagasaki and the guys are going too, Dad."

Nobuyuki sighed, looked up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry, Tenchi. I don't have the money right now."

"Why not?" Tenchi blinked.

"Well besides hard times...we just gave money to Lord Seiryo's galaxy-wide telefon."

"What!" Tenchi gaped.

"We're sending Tsunami shrines to El Salvador," Kiyone smiled at him.

"What about me?" Tenchi asked, astonished. "You promised, Dad."

"You're on the honor roll of the Golden Waves of Blue," Nobuyuki smiled, "same as us."

"It was a gift," Kiyone said, "from all of us, jointly, Tenchi."

"Don't you two think," Tenchi kept his voice level, "that Sasami will have something to say about this when she gets back? Seeing as how she would know considerably more about what Tsunami wants than a Jurain noble who just over a year ago was floating outside in the lake?"

"Well," Nobuyuki reasoned, "we are getting an autographed copy of 'How To Succeed In Business Through Tsunami' and information regarding Tart Cherry Juice," he grinned his usual ecchi grin.

"Great for pain relief," Kiyone interjected.

"How about me, Dad? The one Tsunami brought back to life? Wouldn't I know what Tsunami would want better than Ayeka's former suitor? And what about Grandfather?"

"Why does Dad have to know about this?" Nobuyuki asked, honestly curious.

"Tenchi," Kiyone said, "religion is a very complex subject."

Tenchi finished his FOOD after that and announced he was taking a walk and spending the night at Mihoshi and Kiyone's apartment in town. Mihoshi was doing nightly patrol, so the apartment would probably be empty. If it wasn't, well...Tenchi always enjoyed playing Uno with Mihoshi. After a while, a found himself sitting in vacant lot on the outskirts of Okayama at around 5:00AM in the morning as the sun was coming up.

Idly, Tenchi sipped from a can of COLA. Fatigue getting the better of him, he started to speak:

"Don't want to talk about anything else...we don't wanna know...we're just dedicated, to our favorite shows."

Suddenly, Tenchi chugged down the rest of the COLA and threw the can into a waiting garbage can. He started walking fast, shouting: "Moldiver! Bikini Mud Wrestling Tonight! Simpsons! Love Hina! Urusei Yatsura! Iron Chef!"

Later in the morning Tenchi turned onto a street in Okayama's older residential section, passing a Blue Honda parked on the side of the road with an older man sitting behind the wheel.

Tenchi didn't think too much of this at first as he continued walking aimlessly. That is, until the car pulled up beside him with a honk on its horn.

"Hey kid?" the driver shouted as he drove at Tenchi's walking pace.

"Yes sir?" Tenchi asked.

"You want to make 1000 yen?"

Tenchi stopped walking, frowning, anger rising in him. The man stopped the car, too. "Look," Tenchi tried to keep his voice level, "I don't know who you've been talking to, but I'm not gay, all right!"

The man seemed taken back, he blinked, "hold it, son, you've got the wrong idea. Look...my wife is sick and I have to take her to the hospital--"

Tenchi blinked, "so why are you hanging around here for? Get her there now!"

"I can't leave her car in this bad area of town," the man answered, "I need someone to drive it out for me, okay?"

Tenchi digested this bit of information. He wasn't aware that Okayama had any real "bad area" besides the place behind the railroad tracks the rival junior high kids fought over all the time. Tenchi was also wrestling with his usual desire to help out those in need, and the strong suspicion this was some sort of trick.

"She's pregnant! With twins! She could drop at any time!"

Tenchi sighed, 'what the hell...' he walked up to the driver's side window. The man gave him some keys and pointed over his shoulder to a white car parked on the side of the road. The man also put a 1000 yen bill in his hand, "I'll you 1500 more when you follow my car out of here."

Tenchi looked around, "where's your wife at anyway?"

The man waved the question away, "never mind that for the moment, we've just got to get both of my cars out of this bad neighborhood," with that he pulled ahead some to give Tenchi room to get on the road.

With a final shrug, Tenchi went over to the car, opened the unlocked door, and sat down behind the wheel. Within a few minutes he was following the man's car on the main roads of Okayama, feeling strangely better than he had in the past few days.

The only annoyance on the open road was an obviously imported American car, a Ford T-Bird swerving into the right lane while having its left blinker on. Soon, they arrived at a place called the "Greater Okayama Finance Company." By this time, Tenchi was honestly wondering just what the hell had he helped the older man pull off. These musings were brushed aside as his eyes spied a familiar face.

Opening the gate into the yard for the two cars was Little Washu, the Greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe in her child form. With a small smile, she waved at Tenchi. Deciding to leave Washu until later, Tenchi parked the car and followed the man into the small office.

The office was manned by Kyoko, the receptionist and Akira, the boss. While an American security guard named Carl would just sit in the corner and knit.

When Tenchi and older man walked in the door they were confronted with the sight of a young couple arguing intently with a very not amused Akira. Kyoko was busy taking a call.

The male, a big pretty boy no older than Tenchi, was practically yelling: "...it took me two damn weeks to get the money together so I can come and get it, so hand the keys over!"

Tenchi just took a look around as the older man caught the boss's attention. "Shinji," the boss greeted over the young couple's heads, "got a message on your desk."

"Thanks Akira," Shinji said as he went behind the counter and sat down at a desk that appeared to be his own.

The female member of the young couple was nagging the male to act tougher. Kyoko finished the call and took a good look at Tenchi.

"Look man," Akira said, "didn't your parents ever teach you to be nice?"

The male member of the young couple went around the counter, and faced Akira. "Are you going to give me my car or am I going to have to go to your house and stuff your dog's head down the toilet?"

Carl looked up from his knitting, "take it easy," speaking good Japanese, "or I'll take you in, kid."

"Shut up, Yankee," the girl snorted.

Akira waved Carl down. "Best goddamned car on the lot..." he presented the keys in one hand--

"You're damn right it is," the male smiled. Akira returned the smile as the money and the keys changed hands at the same time.

--Akira and the young man laughed viciously at each other for a moment before the young couple happily walked out the door.

Kyoko had asked for Tenchi's driver's license. She looked at it, then up at Tenchi. "You live at the Shrine, don't you?"

"Yes, ma'am," Tenchi answered. Shinji walked up to the counter, handing some papers to Kyoko. The receptionist took a look at those, too, before picking up the phone again.

"Okayama PD, this is the Greater Okayama Finance Company, I'd like to report a repo on 1126 East Daihatsu Street..."

By now, Tenchi had realized that that was where he had been. "Um, Mr. Akira?"

"Yeah, kid?"

"What happened to your wife?"

Shinji looked confused for a second, "oh--shit! I forget all about her. Never mind, she'll just take a bus," he smiled, "she's a rock!"

"You don't have a wife, do you?" Tenchi asked.

Shinji shook his head in the negative.

"You're all Repo Men," Tenchi smirked.

Akira laughed heartily, "what if we are, kid?"

"His name's Tenchi," Kyoko said, entering some data on her computer.

"Tenchi?" Akira chuckled, "Heaven and Earth? That's a pretty big mantle you wear, kid!" he grabbed a can of BEER, opened it, "here, have a beer," he tossed the can to Tenchi.

Tenchi didn't catch it, eventhough he tried. The BEER fell on the floor and a nice mess was made.

Akira shrugged, "don't worry son, Carl will clean it--"

"The hell I will!" Carl looked up from his knitting, annoyed.

Akira shot Carl a look, "you want to hang out here and knit all day, you do some of the cleaning," the phone rang on Akira's desk.

"Greater Okayama Finance Company...Oh yeah! Fucking A we ripped your car, asshole!" some angry shouting could be heard at the other end from where Tenchi was standing. "Call when you're ready to negotiate payment," Akira slammed the receiver down, "fuckhead...no manners these days, I tell you..." he cursed under his breath.

Another man entered the office at that moment, saying something about that "weird Washu," his name was Koruda. "Hey Kyoko honey," he smiled, "any messages?"

"On your desk, as usual."

"Thanks baby," he strode past Tenchi and glanced down at the floor. "Someone piss on the floor again?"

Akira sighed loudly, "Carl clean that up!"

"It was your fault," Carl accused back, "you did it!"

"I'm helping Kyoko, you're knitting Carl!"

Koruda sat at his desk, shaking his head. "Didn't your mothers ever teach you to use the goddamned toilet?" he looked up, just now noticing Tenchi. "Who brought their kid to work?"

Kyoko laughed, "Maybe he's looking for a job..."

"Yeah," Shinji said, "what do you say, Tenchi? We're always on the lookout for a few good men and women."

Tenchi thought it over. "I don't know if being a Repo Man is really the right type of job for me," he looked around the office, "I'm an apprentice Shrine keeper, for one, and I'm still in high school."

"It's too late," Kyoko counted out 1500 yen, putting the money on Tenchi's hand. "You already are."

Tenchi, deciding that he'd try being a Repo Man for a little while, left the office after agreeing to meet Shinji tomorrow night for "orientation." He made his way over to where Washu was cleaning out the car he'd just repoed.

"Hey there, Tenchi," Washu greeted, her hind quarters sticking out of the back seat of the car, "I never understand you Earthlings and keeping your vehicles sooo dirty."

Tenchi turned, his back to the car. "I suppose if I ask what are you doing here, I'm not going to get a satisfactory answer, am I?"

"It's a fair assumption," Washu said as she threw some trash out of the car.

Tenchi smiled, "Little Washu...why do you need a job at a Repo yard?"

For the first time, Washu looked up at him. "Could ask you the same thing, Tenchi. I honestly never thought you'd just drive in here following Shinji."

"I honestly never thought we'd be co-workers, Little Washu."

Both laughed at this for a moment. "So what do you do here?" Tenchi asked.

"I clean out and maintain all cars under care of the Finance Company, simple as that."

"And uh," Tenchi lowered his voice, "how is it to work with these people?"

"Fine, Tenchi," Washu smiled, "they're a bit rough around the edges, but I'm sure it beats working in food service."

"Yeah, it probably does," Tenchi nodded, "so why are you working here, anyway?"

Washu looked out of the car at the sky above. "When the girls started their hobbie night I decided that it'd do me and my research good to get out into the world around the house and just see what was going on. Almost by chance, I was strolling down the street and I noticed a sign on the gate that said, 'Help Wanted.' I figured, if my daughter and her best friend are going out and enjoying themselves one night a week, then I'd outdo them both by getting a job!"

Tenchi digested this, "and when were you going to tell us?"

Washu shrugged, "never occured to me, Tenchi, to be completely honest. It's only part-time."

Something in Washu's previous statement tugged at Tenchi's immediate memory. "You said, 'almost by chance.'"

"Yes," Washu nodded, "something is going to happen here, Tenchi."

The motorcycle cop the trunk of the '87 T-Bird had turned into a water sprite was eventually found and taken in for government testing. The place where the incident had happened was now teeming with scientists from three governments, local police, prefecture police, national police, etc. Men in radiation suits were taking readings all around.

Two men seem to be in charge here. One is a the head of the Okayama Highway Patrol, a captain. The other is a tall American, seemingly in his late forties to early fifties, but actually is around sixty. He is also the United States Ambassador to Japan, his name is Warren Hudson. If that isn't enough, his entire right hand is a gun.

The captain was speaking as he and Hudson were walking from the shoulder of the road back to a large unmarked white truck. "Years ago when I was a rookie in Hokkaido...I went out to a farm one night and found five cows mutilated. Legs sticking up in the air. Their testacles were gone, too. Heart, liver, all four stomachs, the works."

"I've heard of those incidents myself," Hudson nodded.

The captain looked back at where the water sprite had been found. "I've never seen anything like this before. I mean, what could have done that to him? Radiation? Chemical? Biological?"

They both arrived at the truck. Hudson looked back, "It happens sometimes. People just change into water sprites. Natural causes."

A guard in a radiation suit opened the door for Hudson.

"What!" the captain asked.

"Thanks for your help," Hudson smiled as he shut the door.

Inside, Hudson sat down at a computer terminal after sipping some Cherry Juice. It had worked wonders for his minor aches and pains. Warren entered some information, and in a few seconds a new display filled the screen:

SUSPECT PRESENCE IN WESTERN JAPAN CONFIRMED
88 POSSIBILITY OKAYAMA
LOCATE IMMEDIATELY
DO NOT NOTIFY POLICE

"Looks like we're going to Okayama," Hudson whispered. "Now why would Ryan Freeman want to go to Okayama..?"

Tenchi and Washu arrived home together, much to the surprise of everyone else. "Tenchi," Yosho smiled, "how was spending the night in Miho-Kiyo's apartment?"

Mihoshi, who was there, shrugged. "Oh Tenchi, you spent the night in me and Kiyone's apartment and didn't even make a sound?"

"Ah," Tenchi smiled, "I never quite made it there."

"Whatever do you mean, Lord Tenchi?" Ayeka asked, concerned.

"Someone giving you trouble, Tenchi?" Ryoko's golden eyes looked straight into his.

"No, not at all, Ryoko. I..." Tenchi shrugged, "decided to take a walk and when I stopped I was in a vacant lot next to a soda machine and the sun was already coming up."

"Oh Tenchi..." Kiyone, trying on her new mantle of maternal caregiver for Tenchi, "you mean you didn't even sleep last night? All because of what happened last night?"

Both Ayeka and Ryoko shot Kiyone a look. "What happened?" both asked in unison.

"Nothing happened, girls," Tenchi smiled, "I just needed to get out for a while and think."

Ryoko and Ayeka looked at each other for a moment, then back to Kiyone. "What happened last night?" Ryoko asked, Ayeka nodded right after.

Kiyone told them, but Tenchi was quick to add that because of what happened, he had found a job. Which led to Tenchi declaring he was now a Repo Man, and that Washu was the lot's mechanic. This was Washu's turn to smile at her daughter.

"Isn't it great, Little Ryoko?" Washu chuckled, "me and Tenchi are co-workers, just like you and Ayeka in the carrot fields."

"Oh don't remind me," Ayeka sighed. Now that Tenchi was going to be working, the task of maintaining the carrot fields and cleaning the shrine fell to Ryoko and Ayeka.

"Don't worry, Princess," Ryoko smiled, "I've got it all planned out."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Ayeka sighed in mock exasperation.

"Well, if you really feel that way," Ryoko smirked, "you can clean the shrine all by your lonesome while I take care of the fields."

"Don't think I can handle back breaking work, Ms. Ryoko?" Ayeka smiled.

"You certainly get the back breaking part right, Princess" Ryoko stuck out her tongue.

"Hah!" Ayeka laughed, "we shall see who needs a break first!"

"You're on!"

"All right, you two settle down," Tenchi chuckled, "don't work yourselves too hard out there."

With that, everyone sat down for lunch. Or, what passed for lunch with Sasami on vacation.

It was a nice evening at the Masaki household. Ryoko was building a new popsicle stick house, and Nobuyuki and Kiyone were loudly celebrating Tenchi's new job, while Tenchi was enjoying a can of FOOD outside on the dock. It wasn't long before he had company.

"Lord Tenchi."

"Oh, Ms. Ayeka," Tenchi greeted. "Please, sit with me."

Ayeka sat down beside him. "I was wondering if I might ask you a question."

"Sure, go ahead."

The first Princess of the planet Jurai was silent for a moment. "Lord Tenchi...would you please take me with you sometimes...when you go to work?"

Tenchi was astonished. "Um, I'm not even sure if company policy allows that, Ayeka. It's not exactly a normal request."

"I've already asked Ms. Washu," Ayeka smiled a little, "she says they don't care one way or another."

Tenchi nodded, "yes, that does sound like them," he thought it over. "Ayeka...please, don't take this the wrong way, but I can't just take you or Ryoko, or both of you to work all the time. I need some time for myself," he sighed, "and I need time to get my legs in this. I honestly don't know if I have what it takes to be a Repo Man."

"I am sure you do, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said confidently with a winning smile. "I just want to be there to help, if you need it."

"Thank you, Ms. Ayeka," Tenchi smiled.

From within her kimono, Ayeka produced a can of FOOD with a refrigerator snap-on top and a spoon. "May I eat with you, Lord Tenchi?"

"Yes you may," Tenchi smiled wide.

It being garbage night, Tenchi was lugging said garbage out with Ryoko's assistance.

"But Tenchiiii," she cooed as she floated beside him, "I want to go to work with you and protect you from people who don't pay their bills."

Once they were done with the garbage, Tenchi favored Ryoko with a smile. "Have you and Ayeka been discussing this?"

"All right," Ryoko said as she and Ayeka sat at the kitchen table with that year's Calandar in front of them. "Washu says that Tuesdays are off limits because it's moped night. Tenchi wants two weeks in a month to himself, so that leaves us with two weeks."

"I suggest we both go with him one week," Ayeka said.

Ryoko nodded, "good idea."

"And the other week we divide up between us."

"I can live with that," Ryoko smiled, making the necessary notations on the calandar.

Ayeka smiled, "I'll take Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays."

"And I'll take...hey, I only get two days of work with Tenchi, Ayeka!"

"I am prepared to give up my Sunday brunches with Lord Tenchi so you can take him for flying lessons, Ryoko."

Ryoko smiled, laughing to herself. "You're so kind, Princess." Ryoko loved giving Tenchi flying lessons. The two friends and rivals extended their hands and shook on their new agreement.

"A REPO MAN!" Amagasaki shouted at Tenchi as they ate lunch at school the next day. "What the fuck did you snort to make you become a Repo Man, Tenchi?"

"It just happened, Amagasaki," Tenchi snapped his fingers, "like that."

"Like this," Amagasaki tried to snap his fingers, he really did.

"Like that," Tenchi snapped his fingers again.

"Well," Amagasaki sighed, "I certainly hope you know what you're doing, passing up on Panama Jack for becoming a fucking Repo Man."

"I hope so too," Tenchi agreed. "Any luck with finding a job?"

"Well...now that you mention it--"

Suddenly, a student bursted into the classroom. "Someone broke into the meal ticket machine!"

Gasps were heard throughout the classroom.

Tenchi leaned in close to Amagasaki, whispered, "you and those two didn't...did you?"

"Edge City, here we come."

"Tenchi, Tenchi..." Amagasaki said as they walked down the hall to the school's main entrance as the day ended. "You've got to see this with your heart."

"No I don't, Amagasaki! This Edge City doesn't exist!"

"Like you're one to talk Tenchi..." Amagasaki extended his meaty hand out. Began ticking the points off, "Mr. 'I didn't bang old women just to deny I'm gay,' Mr. 'I didn't blow up the school because it was cool, some hot demoness did it, and finally Mr. 'I live in a house with four ancient and not so ancient hottie's.' You're now going to tell me that Edge City isn't real now?"

"You know my answer to the first one, both counts."

"One argument at a time, Tenchi."

"And the rest..." Tenchi looked into Amagasaki's eyes, knowing himself to have very little credibility when it came to his unusual life, "is true."

"All right, then," Amagasaki said firmly, "then don't tell me, Mitsuru and Keiko are just chasing nothing."

"But..." Tenchi protested.

"Look, my friend," Amagasaki said, "I let you build your own life, and you let me build mine, all right?"

Tenchi nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow, man," Tenchi turned to leave for the bus.

"See you then, Tenchi. Good luck with your new job," Amagasaki sneered a bit, "Repo Man..."

"Tenchi," Ryoko called. It was almost time for Tenchi to go to "orientation" with Shinji. He sat on the front porch, waiting for Shinji's blue Honda to pull up.

"Yeah, Ryoko?" he glanced up, his eyes going wide. Ryoko was wearing a nice denim outift that didn't cover much, and what it did cover wasn't very well covered at that. This was the latest example of Ryoko trying out new clothing.

Ryoko, pleased at his reaction, spun around for his benefit. "What do you think?"

"It's...it's," Tenchi stammered a bit, "it looks good on you, Ryoko."

"Thank you," she leaned down over him, hand on his shoulder, "I have a suggestion for your new job."

He smiled, "okay, what is it?"

"Well," Ryoko said in her kawaii tone, "I think you should swear more, Tenchi."

"Really?" Tenchi thought out loud, "hmm, maybe you're right Ryoko." After all, who has ever heard of a Repo Man who wasn't well versed in swearing?

"I'm glad you think so, Tenchi darling," she batted her eyes, drawing closer to him. "For example..."

"Example?" Tenchi asked.

"...you should say," her voice a husky whisper now, "fuck you more."

"Fuck you?" Tenchi jumped, startled at even the thought of saying that.

Ryoko laughed, glomping him. "Yes please!"

They were interupted by an insistant car horn outside the gates. "Come on, Tenchi!" Shinji's loud voice carried over to Ryoko and Tenchi. "First day of work, kid!"

Shinji was driving as the blue '83 Honda cruised down the streets of Okayama. "I really have to complement your family on your house gates, Tenchi," he said, "it's not everyday you find two talking logs greeting you."

Tenchi looked out the window at the city passing them by. "Do you realize you're the first person who hasn't totally freaked out at Azaka and Kamidake?"

"Really? Nice names..." Shinji looked at him odd, "me? I'm the first?"

"We practically get new paper boys and mailmen every week."

"Shit...I don't know what's with people these days. All it takes is two talking gate logs to make all their shit go out of whack," Shinji lit a cigarette and rolled down his window some.

"So is the going rate I'm getting paid 2500 yen a car?" Tenchi asked.

"Paid?" Shinji chuckled, "Tenchi, you don't get paid. You work on commission, that's better than being paid!"

Tenchi smiled, 'commission,' he thought glibly, 'Dad's going to be so proud.'

"Most cars you rip are worth twenty or thirty thousand yen...a good rule of thumb to follow is ten percent the current value of the vehicle being repoed. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," Tenchi nodded.

"Sir," Shinji peered at him, "call me Shinji, man."

"Yes...Shinji." Tenchi never though he'd ever be calling a man who was obviously in his late fifties by his first name.

After a while, Shinji pointed at a '84 Porche in front of them. "A repo like that will make you a cool 500,000 yen, Tenchi."

Tenchi blinked, amazed. "Wow..."

"The biggest repo I ever got was a '79 BMW four-door. 200,000 for that sucker," Shinji exhaled at the memory. "Got one hell of a good whore for that."

Tenchi did a double take, blushed. To his relief, Shinji didn't care. Tenchi began looking out the window again.

"It helps if you dress like a detective, Tenchi," he threw his cigarette out the window and lit another one. "Detectives dress kind of square..." he glanced at Tenchi, "yeah, you can do that look well. People think, 'this guy is a cop. He may be packing something.' They don't fuck with you as much."

Tenchi turned back, "are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Packing something."

Shinji laughed, "only an asshole gets killed over a car, son!"

On the drove around town, it was night now. So far, Shinji had explained the basic ins and outs of the business.

"Guys and gals who make it in this business are ones who get into their cars at anytime," Shinji could see Tenchi's look of silent disbelief. "I mean, anytime, day or night. Get in at 3:00 AM, get up at 4:00. 365 days a year excluding holidays; only bad Repo Men take cars on holidays."

"I have a question," Tenchi ventured.

Shinji nodded, taking a turn onto Yamamoto Ave.

"How do you typically get out to a clients place?"

Shinji laughed, "good question. It ties in nicely with what I was just telling you. A Repo Man must always either walk, ride along with someone or leave his car in a secure place. You, Tenchi--" he looked at him for a moment, "you strike me as a walker."

"Suits me," Tenchi chuckled, "I don't even have a motorcycle."

"You'll be able to ride all the fucking motorcycles you'll ever want on Tuesdays."

Shinji continued. "You may also need to do some detective work, and maybe play goddamned cat and mouse games with clients, that's why you need to be ready to go at any time, you need to stakeout on bigger fish, and you may need to pay the local boys for their 'expertise.'"

Tenchi was silent for a moment. "Meaning?"

"You might need to ask the police to give you a yell if they see your target."

Tenchi could tell Shinji wasn't telling everything. "And?" he prompted gently.

"It helps matters if you slip them 2000 yen or so, discretely."

"Oh," Tenchi nodded, understanding now.

"For the biggest fish," Shinji puffed on his cigarette, "there's always asking the local yakuza for help. But I don't think you'll ever have to deal with that, fuck...I've only had to do that once in my career. And I've been doing this for eleven years!"

"I'll do my best," Tenchi said quietely.

"You'll do fine, Tenchi, you'll do fine," Shinji smiled wide. "But what I'm trying to say is that while some repoes will be easy as hell, others will require work and effort. Some just flat-out aren't worth it, but many are--so you've got to keep on your toes. That's why there isn't a Repo Man I know that doesn't snort something.

Tenchi, being a bit naive about these things, innocently asked: "Snort something?"

"Yeah...Kool-Aid, crushed Smarties, Pixie-Sticks, miscellaneous candies, etc."

Later, they sat parked in an alley. Shinji had a mirror plate out in front of him and was busy snorting a line of Pixie-Sticks. He had offered some to Tenchi, who politely refused.

After snorting, Shinji's head shot up as he inhaled sharply, tears streaming down his face as he straightened himself out.

Tenchi, watching all this, didn't say a word.

"Never broke into a car," Shinji said, not missing a beat, "Never hot-wired a car. Never broke into a trunk, either, Tenchi." He looked out at the alley ahead of them, then his voice rose reverantly: "I shall not cause harm to any vehicle nor the personal contents thereof. Nor through inaction let that vehicle or the personal contents thereof come to harm.' That's what I call The Repo Code, Tenchi."

Tenchi nodded, honestly surprised.

Shinji looked at him, pointed his index finger at him. "Don't forget it, etch it in your brain, son. Not many people get to live by a code anymore."

"No," Tenchi agreed, speaking from personal experience. "No they don't, Shinji."

"Ha!" Shinji pointed to something across the street from the alley, "look at that. Look at those assholes over there."

Tenchi looked where he was told, found a group of five teenagers his age, standing around an imported sports car, from where they were parked it looked like a red Mercedes-Benz convertible. Tenchi could clearly see four girls and one guy arguing with a tow truck driver. It would seem that the teens' car was being taken away against their will. Tenchi recognized the guy, an all around rich asshole who was rumored to be dating ten or more girls at any one time. Tenchi also remembered an incident during his freshman year where he was tripped in the hallway by this certain asshole. At the time, he hadn't been able to land a punch on him, and later decided to just let the incident go.

'Heh,' Tenchi thought, 'way to impress the girls, you clown.'

Shinji shook his head, "Ordinary fucking people. I hate 'em."

Tenchi glanced at him, "why?" he asked curiously.

Shinji sat forward, steepled his fingers on the steering wheel. "Been chasing that fucking son of a bitch for three weeks now. I only wish I could have taken that Benz from him myself," he laughed ruefully, "but he always has friends with him, and I..." he shrugged, "don't like watching girls cry."

Tenchi nodded in understanding.

"There is another reason," Shinji smiled, "this is the perfect opportunity to tell you about the use of a tow truck."

"Okay," Tenchi nodded once more.

"It's something that sometimes has to be done if the dealer doesn't have keys to give you, or the client has changed the locks. However," Shinji sighed, was silent for a moment, "be prepared to piss away up to fifty percent of your fee for calling the tow truck," he looked at Tenchi, "so really think about it, all right?"

"All right, Shinji."

Shinji wasn't quite finished, eventhough the two truck had now taken the Benz away and the girls were busy reading the guy the Riot Act. "You see, Tenchi," he took one more puff on his cigarette before throwing it out the window, "ordinary people spend their lives avoiding tense situations. Repo Man spends his life getting in tense situations."

Tenchi looked inward, sensing the truth of what Shinji had just told him. 'Maybe that's why I ultimately said yes to this job,' Tenchi thought.

"Asshole," Shinji motioned at the guy who was busy arguing with his girlfriends as he dialed a number on his cell phone, "better call the cops to make sure he doesn't do anything ungentlemanly," after that call was placed, Shinji looked to Tenchi, "come on," he started up the car, "let's go get a drink."

Shinji set down two six packs of cans marked "DRINK" in blue text on white cans on the conveinance store counter. To Tenchi, the clerk seemed a bit nervous. He was wondering at this, but Shinji wasn't missing a beat with his further explanation of the business.

"Tense situations kid. Get into five or six of them a day and it don't mean shit anymore. I mean, I seen men stabbed and it didn't mean shit. I've seen guns. Guns too, they don't mean shit, but that's when you've got to watch yourself."

During Shinji's latest monologue Tenchi's attention darted from the clerk to Shinji, wondering which one was acting more peculiar. Shinji seemed to be thinking and acting three steps ahead of what he was doing, and this including being impatient with the speed at which the clerk was moving ringing the DRINK up. Actually, the clerk's hands where shaking slightly as he clumsily plugged in the price on the cash register.

"Here," Shinji said as the cash register opened, "I'll handle it pal, settle down," he quickly reached over and extracted the exact amount of change. To Tenchi's astonishment, the clerk just let this happen saying nothing.

Tenchi picked up the two six-packs and sparing one last look at the clerk, followed Shinji out the door.

"Have a nice day," Shinji called back, then immediately he remembered it was almost 9:00PM. "Or night," he mumbled to himself, "night, day, it doesn't mean shit."

After the door jungled shut, three figures stood up from behind the counter. One was wearing a ski-mask, the other an old Halloween mask, and the final one a paper supermarket bag with eye and mouth holes in the front. One is fat, one is a female, and the other is an average male. All three are teenagers and are toting weapons. The fat one has a shotgun, the female has a revolver, and the average male is making due with a crowbar.

Amagasaki gave the clerk a nice pat on the back for being such a good sport when it came to armed robbery.

"Wasn't that Tenchi?" Mitsuru asked.

"Tenchi who?" Keiko replied.

Tenchi was lucky, with it being Saturday he didn't have school on Sunday so he and Shinji spent the night actually doing repoes. By 7:00 AM Tenchi was fully broken in, just before heading for home Shinji decided that a little joy-riding with the windows down in the Okayama waterway was in order. The Okayama waterway is a concrete moat about four kilometer long and one kilometer wide. In the rainy season it would be full of water, but on that day there were only sporadically deep puddles in the center. Entry in the waterway was made by several tunnels connected to city access road that Shinji knew about.

Shinji's blue Honda peeled out of the concrete tunnel at about 50 kph, bouncing nicely down the concrete slope and into a puddle of water. It was a nice morning, Shinji had explained, and they had performed three repoes. Why not celebrate? As Tenchi watched the water splash away from the Honda's front tires, Shinji said something for the first time in a while.

"There's going to be some bad shit going coming down here one of these days, Tenchi," Shinji said slowly, his tone not at like it had been all night.

Tenchi glanced at him, returned his eyes to looking ahead at the Yusuke Avenue overpass. "Here?" Tenchi asked, "in Okayama?"

"Yup," Shinji replied.

"Oh yeah?" Tenchi asked, attempting ignorance. "Where you going to be? On the moon?" he chuckled dryly.

"Uh-uh," Shinji shook his head. "I'm going to be right here," he released one hand from the steering wheel and pointed down at the car, his voice rising in determination, "heading north at hundred and fifty per."

Tenchi nodded sagely, really unsure how to proceed as Washu's comment from the previous day replayed in his head.

'Something's going to happen here,' Tenchi remembered. Luckily he was soon saved from this conversation. Tenchi spied in the side-mirror the arrival of another car. "Cool car," Tenchi remarked; it was a red convertible with two occupants.

Shinji glanced up at the rear-view mirror and did a double take. "Uh-oh!" he spared a moment to look over his shoulder, "the Mikimoto brothers!"

Tenchi looked at the two Mikimoto brothers, the one in the passenger side slowly raised his clenched fist and extended his middle finger. This surprised Tenchi immensely, and angered him too. "That guy just flipped you off, Shinji!" Tenchi shouted.

Shinji's face visibly darkened. By now, the Mikimoto brother who had flipped them off was jeering them. "Hey Shinji! Who's your new girlfriend! So that's why you hang out by the junior high school!"

Now Tenchi's face visibly darkened. He was beginning to ask Shinji how they were going to deal with this situation when the convertible shuddered in their direction, nearly grazing the side of the Honda if not for Shinji's quick driving reflexes.

"Hey watch it, man!" Tenchi yelled out the window.

The Mikimoto brother in the passenger seat, once again, was the one to speak. He pointed clearly at Tenchi, "hey fuck you, you pussy punk!" he shot back. Tenchi's mouth gaped open, utterly astonished.

Once again, the convertible tried to bump them, but Shinji floored it and veered up the concrete slope. The Mikimoto's pursued the Honda up the concrete slope at an angle and stayed right on Tenchi's side, laughing all along. As the pursuit went on, Tenchi found a part of himself actually enjoying it. The exhileration was different than a fight, yes, but no less empowering.

It should be noted that if either of the car's drivers or passengers had bothered to glance up at the overpass in the distance they would have noticed a white Ford T-Bird driving slowly across. Back to the chase, as Hunter S. Thompson once observed, "enough of that bullshit only goes so far," and it looked like that on that day, the Mikimoto's got their omakes and decided to let Shinji go until another day. But this was only after Shinji had showed both Mikimoto's what his Honda could do when he pulled ahead of the convertible and used the downward momentum from the slope to avoid getting hit, thus giving Shinji the winning stance.

As Tenchi and Shinji watched the convertible come back down off the slope, the Mikimoto's laughed some more at them. Then stopped. Then peeled out in the opposite direction back towards one of the access roads. Shinji seemed a bit angry they weren't going to finish this, right then and there. Tenchi for his part, had eyes the size of BigBoy plates and had a wide grin on his face.

Shinji leaned out his window, shouting at the retreating convertible: "Goddamn dipshit Mikimoto gypsy dildo punks! I'll get your asses! I swear it!"

Tenchi, feeling the need to move, got out of the car; not caring in the least at the three inches of standing water that was there. "Hahaha!" he laughed, "wow! That was intense!" he exclaimed.

Shinji smirked, despite his anger. "Repo Man is always intense," he turned to Tenchi, who was still wide-eyed. "Come on let's go get a drink." As they drove away, Tench was still talking excitedly about real life car chases, just like in those Steve McQueen movies, cops and robbers, the A-Team, etc.

The night had gone well for the Amagasaki, Keiko, and Mitsuru trio, as they dubbed themselves. They had knocked over two conveinance stores, one dry-cleaning store, four vending machines, and one gas station. Amagasaki had also picked up five job applications. Deciding to do one more job and then call it a night...er, day, they picked out a conveinance store and gone in.

Business as usual, Mitsuru still was wearing the bag over his head as they were backing out of the place. Unfortunately, Keiko was a bit unfamiliar with a revolver and she accidently fired it at the ceiling.

"Shoot, Keiko!" Amagasaki cursed, trying to keep his language clean.

"If you say our names we're going to have to kill all these people, Amagasaki!" Mitsuru shouted.

Amagasaki shrugged, "But they all ran away!" he motioned back to the desserted store they were about to leave.

Keiko had had enough, she ran out the door as the boys followed her lead. "Come on, you douche bags!" she shouted back as Mitsuru found himself running crotch first into a concrete pylon barricade, causing the bag on his head to fall off. But, resilient fellow he tended to be, he just kept on running.

Just after the gang left, Tenchi and Shinji walked in, talking about what had just happened. "Awful quiet in here," Shinji said as they stood at the counter, he looked around, "too quiet," he rapped on the counter with his knuckles, "hello? Anyone minding the store?"

"So who are these Mikimoto boys, Shinji?" Tenchi asked.

"Mikimoto brothers," Shinji corrected, he grinned evil. "Mamoru and Katsu. Two notorious delinquents currently responsible for at least thirty cars in the field."

"Thirty cars?" Tenchi whistled. "How can anyone pull that off?"

"It's actually not too difficult, Tenchi," Shinji sighed, "all you have to do is buy cheap used cars, motorcycles, mopeds, or even bicycles," Shinji took a breath. "Make the payments, establish a good credit rating..." his voice turned dark, "then buy expensive cars like you just saw in the waterway, and never make payments on them," he gazed at Tenchi. "Over and over again."

Thus ended Tenchi's orientation day. Shinji decided that Tenchi should get his feet wet in low-risk repoes first before moving on to "problem clients" or "hairy rips" as Koruda called them. Shinji drove Tenchi home, where he was greeted by his father going out the door to work. A boy's first job is an emotional moment in the life of a father, so they had a few words and a hug. Now came the hardest part of Tenchi's new job, adjusting to the unusual hours.

For him, dinner was now breakfast. As he tiredly but eagerly chowed down with the rest of the family, he remembered something in his back pocket. Breakfast ended and he stood, calling attention to himself.

"A gift to all of you," Tenchi said with mock reverance, "on the occasion of my first night at work," he reached into his back pocket and took out a bunch of pine tree air fresheners. Tenchi put them on the table. "I found one in every car, don't ask me why," he smiled and sat back down.

Ayeka and Ryoko peered closely at the bundle. Each smiled and picked up the sweet air fresheners. "Thanks, Tenchi dear," Ryoko gave him "the eyes," as he came to call them. "Thank you for such a wonderful gift, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka examined the air freshener in her hands closely.

"Oh," Mihoshi smiled, "Kiyone! We can put these in your closet! I bet this will get rid of the stench!"

Kiyone frowned, not getting too angry. "Maybe they will, Mihoshi," she grumbled slightly.

"Hey," Washu said, "if you girls like those, you'll absolutely be in awe at all the feet pads I've gotten from work!" she smiled, "some are even scented!"

On Ayeka's first night at work with Tenchi...

The First Princess of the planet Jurai sat down as delicately as possible in the motorcycle's sidecar and put on her helmet. As delicately as haste would allow, that is. The client was a high school gang member who was supposed to be catching a movie with his fellow gang members. Tenchi had just put the dealer key in the ignition when both he and Ayeka froze to several angry shouts.

Without sparing a moment, Tenchi turned the key, glanced to meet Ayeka's confirming gaze, and gunned the engine. They were sailing down the road when they heard the sound of engines starting up. Soon their pursuers were hot on their trail.

"You fucking asshole!" someone screamed at him.

Tenchi glanced down at Ayeka, "Ms. Ayeka, I'm really sorry about the rough ride."

She looked up, smiled as best she could, "oh don't worry about it, Lord Tenchi. I shall have this minor inconveinance taken care of immediately."

Tenchi, paying most of his attention to the road and avoiding random motorcycle gang members, didn't notice Ayeka nimbly standing up on top of the sidecar until he noticed a faint glow beside him. He realized what Ayeka was doing fast enough, and kept the motorcycle under control. In less than thirty seconds their pursuers were gone. Gracefully, Ayeka returned to the sidecar. After looking in the mirror, Tenchi slowed the motorcycle down and pulled off to the shoulder.

He took a deep breath. "Lord Tenchi?" Ayeka asked, concerned.

"Lady Ayeka..." Tenchi collected his thoughts, "what...just happened?"

"Oh," Ayeka smiled, "I sent them to the other side of town."

Tenchi sighed, "will they remember anything out of the ordinary?"

For a moment, Ayeka was at a loss to explain Tenchi's line of questioning. Then it hit her, her eyes going wide in understanding. "Oh..." she breathed, nodding, "yes, we should all be more careful. It would not do to create a scene in public," she smiled, "they only saw me standing on the sidecar, Lord Tenchi."

"Good enough," Tenchi smiled. Just another unexplained incident that could be explained by unexplained phenomena. The next time it was sidecar motorcycle Repo night, and Ayeka was along for the ride, she merely dealt with any pursuers by fighting them hand to hand by any means necessary.

It was 2:17AM on a Saturday morning and Tenchi and Ryoko were making their way through one of Okayama's many neighborhoods. "Tenchi?"

"Yeah?"

"You sure you don't want me to fly up and look around for the car?"

Tenchi shook his head, "yes."

She threw him a sly smile in the darkness, "you want me to fly up, or you're sure you don't want me to fly up?"

Tenchi cracked a smile, "I'm sure I don't want you to fly up."

"I don't know, Tenchi..." she sighed, looking around the night-darkened residential area. "It could take us hours to find this car."

Tenchi stopped, smiled, "no it didn't," he pointed in front of him, "look."

Sitting in the driveway of a house sat a Mitsubishi G-10, 1988 model with four doors. Its license plate fit the number Tenchi had on the computer printout from the office. "Oh." Ryoko shrugged, "oh well, not the first time I've been wrong," she sighed as they walked over to the car stealthily. Tenchi opened the door with the dealer key, unlocked the passenger side door for Ryoko, and sat down.

She sat down, and closed the door as quietely as Tenchi did. He put the key in the ignition, turned it, and quickly threw the car into reverse. It was at that moment that an aluminum baseball bat smashed into Ryoko's side of the windshield. Ryoko watched with a mixture of surprise and fascination as the bat made a long denting crack in the windshield. The owner of the bat swung back for another stroke, but Tenchi gave the car more gas, got them out into the street, threw it into drive and speeded off down the road.

Tenchi breathed a sigh of relief, immediately realizing that perspiration was starting to pour down his face. His eyes darted to Ryoko. "You okay, Ryoko?"

"Yeah," Ryoko nodded, a faint trace of a smile on her lips, "but I'd feel better if I could have taught that asshole something," she faced him, full smile on her face. "And I was beginning to think this was going to be boring!" she laughed, "this new job of yours sure is intense, Tenchi."

Tenchi kept his eyes on the road, but allowed a wide confident smile to spread on his face. "The life of a Repo Man is ALWAYS intense, Ryoko."

Tenchi peeked his head over the dumpster top, Ryoko and Ayeka did the same. They were peering out from behind a dumpster in an alley across from an apartment complex. It was just after 4:00AM, on the last night of the week when Ryoko and Ayeka would go to work with him. In two days time, phase two of Tenchi's Repo education would begin under the tutelage of Koruda.

But for now, Tenchi had a semi-risky client. A man from Sendai who was trying to escape the long arm of his debts by running south with the subject of these debts, his big American van. Not like the Masaki family's mini-van, this fucker was big. That being said, the bigger the size of a repo, the bigger possibility that something might go wrong that normally would not go wrong with a normal sized car or a motorcycle. Thus, a perfect job for Ayeka and Ryoko to help out Tenchi with.

"You see it, Tenchi?" Ryoko whispered.

"Yes," Tenchi nodded, pointing to the van.

"That's it, Lord Tenchi?" Ayeka asked. Both girls wanting to make sure they had the right vehicle before approaching.

"Yes, Ms. Ayeka," Tenchi smiled at both of them, "now--just like we discussed earlier."

Ayeka and Ryoko nodded, stood, and stealthily disappeared into the shadows. Tenchi returned his attention to the van for a few seconds before moving out himself. He creeped across the street, cautiously flicking his gaze left to right--his eyes confirming that Ryoko and Ayeka were in place ready to intercept any troublemakers. Tenchi arrived at the van's driver-side door, found it open, and jumped up into the seat.

Ryoko and Ayeka, seeing this, phased and quietely ran to over to the van. They climbed in the back just as Tenchi got the engine started. He put it into reverse and quickly gave it some gas. Which turned out to be the wrong thing to do, as they almost found themselves hitting about a dozen garbage cans neatly set up on the curb.

"Hey Tenchi!" Ryoko shouted, finding Ayeka's elbow in her hair, "keep us on the road, will ya?"

"Sorry," Tenchi sweatdropped as he gave the van a shuddering acceleration as he righted the position of the van, now they were in the proper lane and soon they were on their way.

Ayeka and Ryoko properly strapped themselves into the middle back seat of the van. As Ayeka sat down, she noticed that she had sat on something. A magazine. She brought it closer to peer at it in the nighttime glom. "Lord Tenchi?" she asked.

"Yes, Ms. Ayeka?" Tenchi asked, Ryoko was busy daydreaming out the window at the nightscape of Okyama.

"What is..." she squinted her eyes in the dark, "spank...house," she sounded out the words, became reasonably confident she was reading it correctly, "SpankHouse magazine?"

Tenchi blinked, damn near losing control of the wheel. The van swerved a bit, catching Ryoko's attention. "Tenchi, do I have to phase this van back to the lot myself?" she asked. Dangerous driving at night did not appeal to her at all. Before Tenchi could answer her, however, she noticed the magazine in the Princess' hands. Ryoko leaned closer, trying to get a better look.

"Hah!" Ryoko laughed, reading the title. "Never knew you enjoyed that type of thing, Princess..."

Ayeka blushed deep red in the dark, "whatever do you mean? I only found it where I sat down."

"Yeah," Ryoko smirked, "SpankHouse magazine, sat on it, oookay. Likely story."

"Well, at least I am not well-versed in all the volumes of hentai Lord Nobuyuki has!" she fumed.

"Yes, you are," Ryoko shrugged. After all, it was the truth.

Ayeka blushed an even more deeper shade of red. She was about to formulate a response when Tenchi's voice ended the argument.

"All right, you two," he said sharply at their reflections in the rear-view mirror, "that's enough!" Tenchi using his 'I'm not joking around here' tone.

Ryoko sighed, glancing at Ayeka. "You know I'm only teasing you, Princess."

"Hmph!" Ayeka dropped the magazine, placing her gaze out the window. "I'll forgive you this time, Mummywoman."

Ryoko leaned back in the seat, preparing for a light cat nap. "What are friends for..?" she asked as she closed her eyes.

They left the van in the yard under the care of Carl and Kuroda, who seem to be in a heated argument over coffee, and returned home for an early breakfast. The cans of FOOD and DRINK were already out and ready on the kitchen counter.

As the three filed into the living room, they found Nobuyuki and Kiyone sitting on the floor in front of the TV playing Pong. From a glance at the screen it appeared to Tenchi that Nobuyuki was winning. Idly, Ryoko wondered if this was one of Nobuyuki and Kiyone's new "couple's games" they enjoyed. Whoever won one had to give oral sex to the other, etc.

"Good morning, Dad," Tenchi remarked, suprised that Kiyone was still there, and Nobuyuki was up so early.

"Hi son!" Nobuyuki smiled, "you're home early..."

Tenchi smiled as Ryoko and Ayeka sat down on the couch, "We had a good day at work, and figured we'd have an early breakfast," he retreated into the kitchen to get the breakfast cans of FOOD ready.

"Umm," Kiyone tried her best to hide a blush, "I suppose we can leave you three to eat while--um, we...we..."

"Fuck like fifteen year olds?" Ryoko suggested.

Ayeka blushed.

"Yeah," Nobuyuki admitted, standing up to turn off the game system. Lord Seiryo was on preaching about how Tsunami can help you, yes YOU, succeed in business through the divine Tree.

Both Nobuyuki and Kiyone linked arms as they left the living room. "Good morning, Tenchi!" Nobuyuki threw over his shoulder into the kitchen. Tenchi responded in kind.

Tenchi returned and distributed cans of FOOD, DRINK, spoons, and sat down in the easy chair next to the coach. "What time is it?" Tenchi yawned as he sunk his spoon into the FOOD.

Ryoko craned her neck to get a look at the digital clock on the VCR. "4:28."

"And they were still up?" he ate the spoonful, shaking his head after swallowing.

"Lord Nobuyuki must not have work today," Ayeka stated flatly.

"No shit," Ryoko grabbed the remote off the coffee table and turned the volume up. "Let's see what your suitor is saying now, Princess..."

"...Yay, for I know these new intruders into our finely ordered worlds are uncouth in their thoughts, their ways, and their ideas for we have seen my people, Tsunami has seen their works before!"

Lord Seiryo stopped for just a moment to bask in the adulation of his vast studio audience. He was sweating, his shocking pink hair clearly matted down even on Galaxy-wide TV.

"And these works I speak of are but pale imitations of the worst of our work, oh my children! They claim to be new converts to our Lady, but they are untested, unproven, and unsound!"

Seiryo motioned for the audience to calm themselves.

"...And I say, oh my children that these newcomers are unworthy of the Tree! Unworthy because...they are misguided children of the mass-media, watered-down culture of the universe outside the light of Jurai!"

The audience really loved that one. Ryoko turned to Ayeka, "Princess, do your people actually buy this?"

Ayeka sighed, ashamed. "Some do Ms. Ryoko, unfortunately."

"Earth has it's share of religious fanatics and extremists, too," Tenchi commented dryly.

"Ah." Ryoko stated flatly.

Tenchi took a sip of his DRINK, and a bite of his FOOD as he and the girls tolerated Seiryo's extended sermon until he started throwing out free copies of his new book into the audience. And yet, as Tenchi later went to bed for the day, his thoughts dwelled more and more on what Seiryo was saying. There were examples in his own experience. Particularly the example of some friends he had in his junior high days, friends who had joined the exalted ranks of the Otaku and found themselves looked down on, and sometimes even scorned by, the older Otakus for reasons both justified in some cases and unjustified in many. Idly, as he was drifting off to sleep, he wondered if Shinji would have something to say about this...

"Converts?" Shinji asked as they sat at the kotatsu in his dingy one-room apartment at Maison Uzuki. "Converts...you mean like religious converts?" He grabbed a piece of untoasted white bread off a plate, and carefully spread mustard on it. Shinji had already eaten five of them, and seemed prepared to go for five more at least.

"No," Tenchi said as he spared a glance at the small beaten up 13-inch TV set as the morning weather report began. Tenchi was tired, here he was on a Sunday morning, just having gotten used to his weird as hell schedule, when on this bright morning was when he was supposed to begin his more adventurous Repo training with Kuroda. In fact, he was to meet Koruda in just under a half an hour's time. The only reason Tenchi and Shinji were in the latter's apartment was to give the former what amounted to a pep talk.

"No," Tenchi shook his head, "that's not it at all. What I mean is...well, new people into something."

"You mean fresh fish?" Shinji asked.

Tenchi considered this for a moment, "yes," he nodded.

"Well," Shinji sighed, "what do you mean 'into something'?"

Tenchi searched for something to use as an example which Shinji could relate to. "Um," he hummed, "how did other Repo Men treat you when you first got into the business?"

Shinji nodded, digging back in his memory. "About half of them treated me like some kind of fucking idiot for the first year or two."

"Is Koruda going to be like towards me?" Tenchi asked hesitantly.

"Naw," Shinji said as he got another piece of bread of the bag, "everyone at the office ain't so tough," he carefully spread mustard on it, "Akira thinks he's tough, but that doesn't count," Shinji ate the bread in two bites, "and Carl just needs to be told to shut up every once in a while," he took a sip of BEER. "But if you ever work for some other company in town, those guys will probably give you some shit for being a newbie, that's a fact."

Tenchi nodded.

Shinji chuckled, "they're just a bunch of lazy assholes who ride around in their big two trucks all night. Fuck 'em."

"What about the larger issue of how newbies are treated, though?" Tenchi, doing his best to prevent another one of Shinji's digressions into the "Way of the Repo," as he called it. Normally, Tenchi would listen with rapt attention but as he could see on the TV, he only had twenty minutes.

"Right," Shinji agreed. "It's one of the basic human truisms, unfortunately. The old hands forget that they themselves were once newbies, and act like the newcomers are just shit dropped from an airplane 36,000 feet up."

"Well," Tenchi reasoned, "is there any way to get around this?"

Shinji thought about it for a moment, "yes. One side or the other has to say, 'fuck this,' and just leave, ignore it, or actively fight against the other side. But if we're talking about something like, oh...fans of a certain book, before and after a movie adaptation, there comes a point when you have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, 'I'm expending all this emotional energy over a fucking hobby?' and just sit back and take it easy."

"After all," Tenchi thought out loud, "it's not the end of the world."

"Damn straight, kid," Shinji laughed, "the end of the world, if anything, is not going to be on account of some new generation of chess player, manga fan, or aviation freak."

Tenchi smiled, Shinji went on about eating more bread and mustard while Tenchi read the morning paper. When Koruda was due to arrive in less than ten minutes, an item caught Tenchi's eye.

"Shinji," Tenchi said.

"Yeah?" he finished slamming back his BEER.

"The Mikimoto brothers are selling a car," Tenchi showed him the want ad.

Shinji took it well. For about thirty seconds. "SHIT!" he picked up a shoe and threw it at the TV, bouncing off the screen with a type of PLANG! sound.

"Those clowns!" Tenchi cursed as he and Koruda drove up Shimazaki Ave near the mall. It was just after 8:00AM.

"They ain't clowns," Koruda flashed a smile at him, "They car thieves just like us."

Tenchi accepted this. He was about to respond when Koruda pointed ahead to an intersection. The light was red, and one car was waiting for the light to change.

"There's Ms. Hoshino. You want to go for it?" Koruda asked.

Tenchi nodded, Koruda handed him a piece of paper. Tenchi looked down at it and let out short laugh. "Good gag, you pull this one often?"

"Only on the women," Koruda once again flashed that smile, "it never fails."

Koruda pulled up a bit behind the car, a '96 Toyota sports car convertible. Tenchi quickly got out and shuffled over to the passenger side. "Excuse me? Ms. Hoshino?"

Once Tenchi had her attention, he smiled. "I have something here for you," he handed her the piece of paper. Which, to the interest of some, read "PAY UP OR IT'S OURS!"

Ms. Hoshino took one look at the note, and with a smile of utmost kindness to Tenchi. "Hmm...how utterly charming," Tenchi never thought to expect this woman pointing a can of mace in his direction, nor did he duck fast enough to escape a spray right into his eyes.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Tenchi, standing right in the middle of an intersection, was now covering his eyes trying to alleviate the horrid stinging. "Koruda! I'm blind! Koruda, where are you, man!"

But as Ms. Hoshino took the opportunity to floor it, so did Koruda. Leaving Tenchi behind in the middle of the street.

Shinji and Tenchi pulled up to a laundromat on Mizuhara and Sugimoto Ave in downtown Okayama near the railroad yard. As Shinji turned off the ignition and took a look at the forms on his clipboard, Tenchi took a look at the "SHOVE-A-YEN" laundromat in this working-class neighborhood of the city. Shinji's car was the third vehicle in the small parking lot; the second a battered brown Toyota truck with a broken left headlight, and a very nice candy apple red two-door sports car. A Mercedes from the look of it, with white leather interior.

Shinji exhaled a cloud of smoke as he flicked a cigarette butt out of the open driver's side window, reading the printout on the clipboard out loud, "Toshiro Shimozawa, brokerage consultant." Shinji's eyes narrowed, he smacked the clipboard, "Fucking rich asshole six payments behind," he shook his head, "I've never understood it."

"What's that?" Tenchi asked absently, doing a mental count of the number of people inside the laundromat, wondering if he could successfully pick out the client.

Shinji pointed at the very expensive car, "fucking rich people," he sighed, "they never pay their bills," he unbuckled his seatbelt, "see you at the yard, Tenchi. Drive safe."

Tenchi was still looking from the Mercedes, to the laundromat, and back to Shinji. "Wait. You can take a break and let me get this one, Shinji."

Shinji shook his head, glancing back down at the clip-board, "No, I'll handle this one, kid. It says there Mr. Shimozawa is carrying a permit for a pistol."

Tenchi, a small smile playing across his face, made a decision. Possibly unwise, not 100 safe, but then again what else was he doing in this job but putting himself into somewhat dangerous situations? Not only that, how could he let Shinji go into a potentially dangerous situation like that? It's not like a pistol is going to hurt Tenchi Masaki, anyway. If he had learned anything about his power and abilities in the past couple of years, it was that. Reacting with speed and determination, Tenchi grabbed the slimjim and jumped out of the car before Shinji could react.

"Hey Tenchi! Give me that!" Shinji shouted as he opened his door. Tenchi was walking up to the Mercedes, he glanced over his shoulder. "Don't underestimate me, Shinji!" he smiled back before shuffling his way with confidence to the driver's side door of the Mercedes.

Inside the "SHOVE-A-YEN" Toshiro Shimozawa, a fat man decked out in an sweat suit, was giving a pompous sermon to two poor kids and a harried single father with a baby on his knee. Shimozawa was trying to persuade the kids to agree to watch and do his (and thier) laundry in an efficient way. They damn well should, in Shimozawa's opinion, after all he's going to pay them 10 whole yen to do this for him!

"And also, naturally, I'd like them to be right next to each other. In addition I'd like them to be as close to the window as possible so I can sit in my car and watch my things. So all you have to do is take your clothes out of here like this," Shimozawa took a hunk of wet clothing out of the washer, "and put them into a machine over there like that," he tossed the wet clothes into the dryer.

He was about to grin and show off more to these Maison Ikkoku rejects, perhaps explain why someone with as much money as he would need to come to a laundromat in the first place (he turned his laundry room into a sake closet), but something caught his eye outside. Shimozawa immediately went to the door just in time to see some dweeby black-haired kid drive off in his car. "Oh my God!" he exclaimed in a wavering but incensed voice, "Oh! Oh my God! STOP!" he ran out the door as his precious Mercedes was peeling out down the road.

The two kids who were the focus of Toshiro Shimozawa's sermon giggled as they watched him run out into the parking lot. Being of one mind about this, they snickered as they grabbed Shimozawa's basket of wet clothes and dumped them out the door for him to pick up off the sidewalk later.

Getting used to cruising down the road in a Mercedes wasn't as different as Tenchi had thought it would be. Since it was a nice day, he turned off the Air Conditioning and rolled the window down. After searching the radio dial a bit, he found a nice song about a short surrealist painter and his prowess with women. Tenchi grinned, taking a right on Central, when a familiar, wild cyan shock of hair he would have recognized anywhere caught his eye. Tenchi grinned even more.

"Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole," the singer drawled.

Ryoko was walking on the sidewalk with her latest Popsicle-stick house creation cradled in her arms. 'She's probably just coming from her arts and crafts class,' he recalled Ryoko mentioning they were going to have a competition. From the bounce and ease in Ryoko's step, Tenchi guessed she did well. Still smiling, Tenchi slowed down a bit, bringing the car up at near the same pace Ryoko was walking towards the bus stop at the end of the block.

"Hey, hey!" Tenchi said out the window, "Hey Ryoko need a ride?"

Ryoko looked, looked again. "Tenchi?" she smiled, then she took a look at the Mercedes, "wow, nice score." Tenchi pulled the Mercedes over to the side, putting it in Park as Ryoko came over to the passenger-side window.

Tenchi chuckled, "yeah, I'm on my way back to the yard…" he peered closer at the Popsicle-stick house Ryoko was cradling. "Is that a First Place ribbon I see there, Ms. Ryoko?" he smirked.

Ryoko blushed ever so slightly, "yeah…I was thinking of stopping by the yard to show Mo-I mean Washu before I went home."

"Well," Tenchi chuckled, nodding to the empty passenger seat beside him, "climb on in."

Once back on the road, Tenchi and Ryoko were just enjoying the drive through downtown Okayama. He noticed that Ryoko now had a small happy face button on her usual yellow and blue stripped outfit. "Nice pin," Tenchi commented.

"Yeah, I found it on the street. I figured, 'what the hell? The Americans seem to like it,'" she favored him with a kind smile.

Tenchi laughed, "notice any change yet?"

"Nope," Ryoko shook her head, "can't quite figure out why they like 'em so damn much."

"Maybe it just takes a little time."

Ryoko nodded, "yeah, maybe." They drove on in comfortable silence for a while, then as they turned onto the back street where the Greater Okayama Finance Company yard was located.

The music ended on the radio, and a Public Service Announcement began. This particular announcement had started just a the last couple of weeks, though Tenchi and Ryoko only gave it cursory consideration. After all, who really listens to PSAs anyway? A female voice spoke: "Ehw. What's that?" A male: "I don't know dear. But it is alive. It seems friendly though. Aw look it's curled up." The female again: "How cute oh no." The male yet again: "Maybe we should take it home it doesn't seem to have any." The female yet again: "Oh yes let's.

A polished announcer broke in: "But no! No matter how appealing do not let strange creature in your house! We all know strange creatures are on the increase. Many of them do seem furry and adorable, but beware we don't know from whence they came! Be safe! Be safe! Report strange incidences today."

Tenchi's brow furrowed in thought for a bit at this PSA. 'Have to remember to keep Ryo-ohki at home,' he thought absently as he drove.

"Say Tenchi…" Ryoko began.

"Yeah Ryoko?" he glanced at her, a bit concerned at the more serious tone her voice took.

"Remember when you told me and Ayeka to tell you about any…weird stuff we heard?"

Tenchi recalled the conversation. It had taken place when the two girls had first came to live in his house. Not too long after Ryu-oh and Ryo-ohki crashed to Earth and took out the Saito bridge along with them. His request to them was simply that if they ever heard or saw anything that pointed out that somebody knew or might know something about them or the significance of the Masaki shrine, that they would tell him right away.

Apparently, now was the time that Ryoko was going to make good on Tenchi's two year old request. As Tenchi pulled the Mercedes into the Greater Okayama Finance Company's repo yard and parked it in a secluded corner, he turned to look at Ryoko as she explained what she had heard as they got out of the car.

"There's a woman in my arts and crafts class at the City College," she explained. "Her name is Akiko…and she had a folder that fell out of her book bag in the bathroom…I didn't mean to look, Tenchi, but a few pictures fell out. One of them was of something that looked like sausage links, or some shit like that," Ryoko's brow furrowed, she grinned "in fact they look like condoms, Ten-chan. Or maybe those marijuana joints that are so popular," she shrugged.

"O…okay," Tenchi nodded as he shut the driver's side door, trying to follow Ryoko's thinking.

"This wouldn't have stuck with me," Ryoko said closing the passenger side door, "but the label on the folder was 'Okayama Extraterrestial Anamoly 1,' that's all I know. Akiko quickly scooped everything back up and put it away, she did give me a look though that asked me to just shut up, though."

Tenchi nodded again, turning the information over and over in his head. "Thanks Ryoko," he smiled, "I'm sure it's probably nothing to worry about, but we'll tell Washu about it."

"Yeah," Ryoko nodded, smiling. "Thanks for the ride, Mr. Masaki," she teased.

"But of course, Ms. Ryoko," he grinned back.

"Keep this up and the girls will be all over you."

Tenchi blushed a bit, but still grinned his best 'lounge lizard' grin. "What makes you think they already aren't?"

Ryoko nodded, leaning over the car again, allowing her cleavage to be seen through her outfit…just the mere suggestion. "Wanna get back in the car?"

He blushed, "what? Here?"

She nodded, "yeah. I've never done it in a car before."

"Yeah…" he smirked a bit, "but I doubt the owner of the car would appreciate it much," immediately Tenchi recalled that the owner was a rich fat cat who figured he didn't have to pay his bills. That…and Ryoko was giving him that pouty kawaii-face look he and Ayeka had come to know well. Tenchi caved.

"Awh, we have to make it fast, Ryoko," he wagged his finger as they both reopened the car and climbed back into the backseat.

"A quickie, I promise," she giggled.

Several squeals, heavy breathing, rocking and fogged windows followed as the Mercedes sat in its parking space behind the dumpster and the vending machines.

"We're home!" Tenchi called.

"We brought food!" Ryoko exclaimed, holding up the take-out FOOD bags she clutched in both hands.

"High time for you two to come back," Ayeka smirked as she strolled in from the living room; dressed in her usual housekeeping clothes. "There were no…delays returning from your class were there, Ms. Ryoko?"

"Only a quickie," Ryoko smirked back.

"My Ryoko, spoling your dinner, what would Ms. Washu think?" her eyes sparkled.

Ryoko shrugged, "she didn't say anything about it."

Tenchi only grinned amidst his blush, "all right, all right, girls. Let's eat before this gets cold."

Ayeka swiveled effortlessly to face Tenchi, she was close enough so that her perfume tickled both his and Ryoko's nose. Tenchi smiled fondly, 'perfume, even for house work.' "Anytime you are ready, Lord Tenchi," she smiled back with a little bow.

"Cheese," Ryoko teased.

After finishing their healthy helping of FOOD and DRINK from the Masaki House stores, Ryoko, Tenchi, and Ayeka sat opening the mail from the day. "So how long did Dad say he and Kiyone would be gone?"

"Oh…later tonight. They just said 'dinner and a little dancing,'" Ayeka chuckled, she was at the sink, it being her night to take care of the dishes.

"Yeah, more like fucking and more fucking," Ryoko incinerated another credit card offer in her hand.

Tenchi shrugged, Ryoko was probably correct. "Give them a break, Ryoko…it's been a while for Dad AND Kiyone…" Tenchi immediately trailed off when he realized he was defending his father's sex life.

"Indeed, Ryoko," Ayeka admonished lightly as she set down another sparkling clean dish, "they are still right in the middle of the Honeymoon Phase,' I believe it is called," Tenchi and Ryoko could hear the blush in her words.

Ryoko stopped her junk mail disposal activities, her golden eyes favoring Tenchi's. "Yeah, right Ayeka," Ryoko and Tenchi shared a quiet chuckle. He tossed aside some bills for his father, and the junk mail into the pile Ryoko was incinerating into green particles that disapated off into the air.

"Can't wait until Sasami comes back, yup," Ryoko grunted as she burned a home cleaning product catalog into green nothingness. "I just hope she doesn't decide to stay on Jurai another month…"

"As do I, Ryoko," a frown could be heard in Ayeka's voice, "Eating simple FOOD, TASTEOS, CHEESY-POOFS and watching you come home with bottles simply marked BOOZE is starting to wear thin." The water stopped, and the final pristine dish was set aside to dry, Ayeka wiped off her hands daintily, set her apron aside and joined Ryoko and Tenchi at the table. The elder Princess stretched, clearly glad her chore for the night was over.

Tenchi smiled at her, and Ayeka smiled back as he tossed a tabloid magazine "The Daily Shovel" his hand had found into the junk mail pile.

"Oh, wait Lord Tenchi!" Ayeka said, quickly grabbing the tabloid back from the junk mail pile.

"Hmm?" Tenchi looked down as Ayeka pointed at the newspaper. "I picked that up today in town…I wanted to show it to you."

"What is it, Ayeka?" he asked as she specifically pointed out the huge block-lettered headline; practically leaping off of the front page like a suckerpunch. It read: "E.T.'S WILL LAND ANY DAY!"

"…wow," Tenchi commented, his eyes gravitating to a picture that looked like any other piece of grotesque photography you'd find in a supermarket tabloid…except that it looked like a bunch of water-inflated condoms wrapped in grass Hawaiian skirts.

Ryoko was now peering closer at the black and white picture on the front page; intrigued by Ayeka's insistance that Tenchi look at it. Ordinarily, she considered newspapers of any stripe to be useless bullshit. "Hey," she grinned, her eyes lighting up, "that looks just like the picture Akiko had…" and immediately her, Ayeka's and Tenchi's brows furrowed in unison.

"Mmmm," all three pondered.

Ryoko yawned, stretching with the amazing feline grace that Tenchi and Ayeka had grown accustomed to. "Yeah…time for bed," she glanced to Ayeka as she turned off the living room lights.

"Isn't it nice to have a day off, Lord Tenchi?" Ayeka smiled as Tenchi locked the front door.

"Yeah, I feel sorry that Washu has to guard the yard tonight," Tenchi yawned quietly.

"Aw, she'll be fine," Ryoko began levitating up the stairs just ahead of Tenchi, "Mihoshi and that receptionist…Kei…Keiko?"

"Kyoko," Tenchi corrected.

"Yeah, they'll both be with her playing some stupid card game all night," Ryoko waved her hand.

As Ayeka and Tenchi began to climb the stairs from the darkened first floor, Ayeka smiled to herself. One piece of mail had been discretely rescued from the pile on the table…and in a private moment between her and Ryoko, they had hatched a small plan. She skillfully concealed a giggle as they passed the second floor, and ascended up to the third and into Tenchi's room.

Ryoko and Ayeka traded a look. "Say, Tenchi," Ryoko said lightly.

"Hmm?" he glanced at both of them, smiling.

"Show him, Ayeka," she nodded.

"Of course," Ayeka smiled, pulling a catalog out of her kimono, "here you go, Lord Tenchi," she handed the catalog to him.

Tenchi peered at the cover, "a homeware catalog? 'Bedding and Bundles'?" he asked, a bit bewildered, looking back up at Ryoko and Ayeka.

"Yes," Ayeka nodded towards Tenchi's bed.

"The bed is too damned small for all three of us, Tenchi darling," she wrapped her arm around his shoulders, resting her head against his. Ayeka's hands gently found Tenchi's.

"Yes," Ayeka smiled with a slight blush, "this catalog has a great variety of interesting choices."

Tenchi sweatdropped, either from the rather pointed verbal suggestions or the even more pointed non-verbal ones. "…um…right," he sighed, grimaced, then smirked. Finally, Tenchi chuckled, "yeah, it is getting kind of cramped. Though," he grinned, "it certainly is convenient.."

Ayeka and Ryoko could only grin in response.

The next day, Tenchi arrived for his 6:00p.m. to 12:00am office shift. Office shift for a Repo Man was essentially just paperwork and helping out Kyoko with whatever needed helping out. It was now 7:34, the last rays of sunlight beginning to recede below the Okayama skyline, sending dull golden bands through the windows of the dingy but comfortable Greater Okayama Finance Company's office. Kyoko quietly typed on the computer, occasionally stopping to take a long drag on her cigarette while Akira diligently studied what Tenchi presumed to be racing forms. Everyone else was either out in the field, drunk, or otherwise.

Tenchi sighed, filling out his last piece of paper-work for Toshiro Shimozawa's Mercedes' dealership and the police. He leaned back at his desk, stretching as he glanced up at the fuzzy old TV near Akira's desk; a game show was on people running around Tokyo dressed as British rock stars. Tenchi shook his head, "garbage," he lamented softly as he spied a newspaper on Shinji's desk, somewhat concealing the faded and scratched imitation name plaque that read "Shinji I." after Tenchi removed the rolled up paper.

Unfurling the paper, Tenchi nearly gaped at the newspaper and the headline. A weekly or sometimes bi-weekly periodical...obviously cheaply printed, perhaps a project of some disgruntled college students...the headline read, simply: "EXPOSE! TOP PROFESSORS SUSPECTED OF PARTICIPATING IN INTERNATIONAL CONSPIRACY TO CONCEAL E.T.'s!" the accompanying photograph was of several unmarked vans parked at Tokyo U. The vans were not anything special...just typical unmarked vans, similar to ice cream trucks.

Tenchi blinked, 'what the heck?' he wondered. His further reading was interrupted by Kyoko bringing something on the computer to Akira's attention.

"What's this?" Akira snorted, peering over Kyoko's shoulder.

"It just came down over the network," she answered, putting out her cigarette in her personal ash-tray.

Akira squinted, "Two and a half million yen for a Ford ThunderBird? What's the year on that?"

"1987," Kyoko supplied.

Tenchi could see that Akira was thinking on this immediately. Slowly, the manager of Greater Okayama Finance Company was nodding to himself, "Who's double X Finance?" he pointed at the screen.

"Store front operation," Kyoko glanced up at her boss, "but the money is in escrow. You want me to notify the boys?"

Akira snorted again, shaking his head as he moved over based the imitation wood divider, grabbing his hat and coat. "Uh, naw... they're always bitching to high heaven about their case load. I think I'll go out for a while..."

Kyoko seemed positively unimpressed, and not outwardly interested. But out of force of habit and basic curiousity, she asked: "Why? Are we out of beer?"

"Someone has to work around here," he said over his shoulder as he went out the door, sparing a glance to Kyoko and Tenchi. "Keep making me money kid," the door jingled close behind him.

Tenchi and Kyoko shared a look and a shrug that communicated all that needed to be said before going back to their paperwork and sleepy clock-running. Including, but not limited to, what they could do with 2.5 million yen.

'I could buy an entirely new bedroom set...' he thought, grinning dreamily.
'I could get the fuck out of this sleazy shithole and move to San Francisco,' Kyoko thought.

The next day was a Sunday, and Tenchi had some daytime field work with Kuroda. Tenchi grinned as they crossed a parking lot in the middle of Okayama's business districts' back roads, toting Koruda's trademark briefcase of Repo implements with him. Despite some rough patches early in their work relationship, Tenchi had developed a generally positive opinion of Koruda. Where Shinji was all business, Koruda brought a level of flair...of style to repoing that Tenchi found invigorating.

The man was also one of the coolest people Tenchi had ever met.

They were closing in on their target as they cautiously but smoothly moved across the street towards it. "Man," Koruda flashed a grin, "we've been looking for this little red devil for a long time. Just act natural...no one knows if it's your car...or somebody else's car."

"Right," Tenchi nodded, shifting his gaze around them quickly just to make sure. "Unless that somebody else just so happens to show up."

Koruda chuckled as they stopped at the bright red new model Datsun sportscar, motioning for Tenchi to take his place at the driver's side. "That's what's the briefcases' for, kid." The smooth-talking Repo Man set the briefcase on the hood of the passenger side of the car, snapping it open, "here's your chance to shine, Tenchi my boy." He rummaged around in the apparently full briefcase, "I'm gonna let you unlock the little red devil all by your lonesome!" another gold tooth or two flashed from Koruda's grin.

Tenchi could only chuckle, scratching the back of his head with one hand as the slimjim was placed in the other. "Hop to it," Koruda nodded down to the locked Datsun.

Tenchi sweatdropped as he began working at the driver's side door. Used to working under the cover of night, and a (for the most part) uncritical eye, Tenchi felt a slight but persistant tremor of nervousness at Koruda's evaluation. The black-haired youth gritted his teeth in concentration as he worked the slimjim, trying to jimmy the car's lock, but not quite getting it. He could feel the warm early afternoon sun on the back of his neck. "Clock's ticking, Tenchi..." Koruda glanced around, including up at the building's around them. "If this was a bomb, I'd be picking your brains outta my ears."

Tenchi snorted, suppressing a smirk. 'Not likely, Koruda.'

Koruda quickly ran back around to Tenchi, "Let me give you a hand, we don't have all year, boy."

Tenchi sighed, allowing Koruda to take control of the slimjim. Some cars Tenchi could get, and some he could not, for some reason. In about four more seconds, Koruda had the car door open (car alarm and all) and in a few more Tenchi was sitting down in the passenger seat after Koruda heaped his briefcase onto Tenchi's lap. "Ow."

"Sorry. Get your seat belt on, Tenchi," Koruda remarked curtly as he was going through his keyring, looking for the one he had just picked up from the dealership this morning, his fingers moving in a practiced flash. Tenchi rolled down the window, his eyes darting back and forth expecting them to be discovered any minute by the owner.
Koruda got the car started and revved the engine good as smooth American-style urban music wafted from the speakers. "Put your seat belt on, boy!" he said sharply. Tenchi quickly snapped his seatbelt in place. "I don't ride with anybody who doesn't wear a seatbelt," Koruda continued as he gave a cursory instrument check, "it's one of my rules."

"Mine too," Tenchi agreed. His eyes drifted down to the open briefcase. Along with the slimjim in his hand he was looking to secure, its contents were several reams of paperwork, a cell-phone, an open carten of cigarettes, a bottle of Royal Crown, and a nine millimeter handgun with ammunition. Tenchi blinked, sweatdropping a bit, but more curious than anything else. He gingerly picked up the firearm in order to move it so he could shove the slimjim back in...

Koruda glanced over, "put that damn gun down, boy! That ain't no toy. Shit..." he shook his head.

"Well it certainly wasn't a popsicle," Tenchi laughed nervously.

Koruda laughed louder and floored it.

Tenchi and Koruda were driving the sporty red Datsun down the middle of Yusaku and Shiro street, past the Taurazakura Girl's High School and going in the direction of the Okayama Mall. The music was up, a good driving beat as Koruda lit his first cigarette of the afternoon. He started in with a good long drag, blowing the smoke out of the open window. It was a nice afternoon, not too hot with a slight breeze. Traffic was slight and no one was pursuing them.

Tenchi glanced around the car as Koruda drove. There were several packages in the back seat and also on the floor beside his feet. Gift packages from the looks of them. Yeah, bright gift wrapping. Tenchi frowned in thought as Koruda smoked, drove, and soon talked:

"I walk into someone's place of work. They're shit scared. They know I'm not a cop. They think I've come to kill 'em...and I would. I'll kill anybody who crosses me. You know what I mean?"

Tenchi looked straight ahead, "I'll take your word for it, Koruda." He had grown used to Koruda's posturing...both real, figurative, feigned, and metaphorical. Tenchi, after all, had good teachers.

"Do you like music?" Koruda asked.
"Sure do."

"In that case," Koruda fumbled around in his shirt pocket for a cassette tape, "you're gonna love this," he jammed the cassette into the tape deck. Smooth jazz-style music fronted by a lovely female singer began to fill the car as they crossed the bridge over the train tracks. Tenchi smiled, bobbing his head to the beat slightly, "it's good. I've heard her on the radio before."
Soon the mall was behind them, heading into the older sections of town and the repo office. They were heading into heavier traffic now, soon that turned into a traffic jam as they slowed to a crawl on the wide bridge that went over the Okayama rail yard. Tenchi yawned, looking back down at his feet and the gift-wrapped packages for a moment as the singing continued.

Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick...

Tenchi gaped, briefly confirming that Koruda indeed did not hear what was coming from the package. It was very faint, but that unmistakenly was what was coming from that red striped gift with the big ribbon on it. 'Oh Kami!' Tenchi thought frantically for a fraction of a second: It was a bomb! He could not just disarm the bomb mentally without detonating it, he just did not know how. Nor could he just phase it away right here. He sure as hell could not just detonate it here in the car! Tenchi, as casually as possible, picked up the gift box and pitched it out of his window as fast as he possibly could. Koruda never noticed.

BOOM!

Tenchi sighed, sweating. He had safely detonated the package about half-way to the ground. Anybody looking only heard a loud explosion and maybe saw a orange-red cloud of smoke and fire half-way suspended in the air just above the railroad yard and the Yusaku and Shiro road bridge.

Another song came on as they finally left the bridge, traffic speeding up. Koruda pointed at the radio. Koruda smiled, "I was into this girl and her crew before they got big. Partied with them all the damn time. They asked me to be their manager. I called bull–" he exhaled a plume of smoke, "-shit on that. Hey, managing a pop idol--ain't no job for a man. Unless he's fucking her."

Tenchi laughed loudly, still sweating and just thankful for being there at that moment. He briefly considered telling Koruda...but if he didn't think to ask about the explostion back on the bridge...and he never noticed or heard the device; Tenchi decided to just leave things well enough alone. Inwardly, Tenchi examined the rest of the car, and no more ticks or even tocks were present. Tenchi relaxed.

"You read the pamphlet I gave you?" Koruda glanced at him.

"What pamphlet?" Tenchi asked, totally at a loss for the moment.

"It's about Tart Cherry Juice. The science of all-natural pain relief."

"Uh-huh," Tenchi nodded, wracking his frazzled nerves to remember. Tenchi was beginning to vaguely remember something left on his desk at work...

"You'd better read it and quick, Tenchi," Koruda told him, "That Cherry Juice shit will change your life. Found out about it on a bathroom wall in Kyoto. You know what I mean?"

"A lot of people don't realize what's really going on, Tenchi." Washu said in her patient, yet understanding tone as they stood around a fire-barrel in the vacant lot of the Repo yard's East Side. Tenchi had just, after a relaxing can of juice, the events of his recent days. Including the conversation with Kuroda and his thoughts on the universe. It was early afternoon, and the sun was shining brightly, warmly, but not without the stinking cloak of humidity. As per Okayama Finance Company yard procedure, smaller paper-based trash was being burned.

However, as Washu had explained, the yard's incinerator broke down three years ago and as Akira told it, the parent company was adamantly opposed to shelling out for another incinerator unit profits were up 17 percent, at least.

Tenchi nodded at Washu's statement, looking back down on the Cherry Juice brochures that Kuroda had handed him. "TART CHERRY JUICE! CHERRY PIE IS BACK IN TOWN!" He had looked through it. But what all-natural pain relief for diabetes and gout had to do with him he was at a loss to explain, or why Kuroda felt it was so important. With a shrug and a sigh, Tenchi tossed the glossy, color brochure into the fire too along with some crumpled up racing forms and sports pages. The flames licked and flickered in happiness as Tenchi watched them, listening to Washu.

"They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidences and things," Washu continued. "They don't realize that there's this latticework of coincidence that lays on top of everything."

Tenchi nodded. "Yeah, I mean it is just like ripples in the water. All things really are connected."

"I don't mean all that's dreamed up in the philosophies of your planet, Tenchi." Washu grinned. "Though they are not far from the literal truth. I'll give you an example, show you what I mean. Now, Tenchi, suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp."

"All right," Tenchi said; supposing just like the red-head said. "But, I prefer calamari…"

"Doesn't matter." Washu shook her head. "Suddenly somebody will say, um… 'plate,' or 'shrimp,' out of the blue with no explanation! No point in looking for one either. It's all a part of that latticework of cosmic unconsciousness."

Tenchi digested this for a long moment. He picked up another wad of trash and tossed it into the fire. Watching the refuse burn. "Isn't that just like when you hear a new word? I mean, a new word and you also learn its meanings. You start to hear it around more and more. It pops up while talking to people."

"Exactly!" Washu snapped her fingers. "I'll give you another instance. You know the way everybody on your planet is into odd happenings—by human standards that is—right now? Books in all the supermarkets about this… Bermuda Triangle, UFO's, how those Mayan people invented television and the Greeks invented the battery. That sort of phenonom."

Tenchi shook his head. "I don't read those type of books."
Washu peered into the fire intently. "Well you know, Tenchi. The way I see it… it's all exactly the same. There isn't any difference between these 'flying saucers' and a good old-fashioned 'time machine' or dimensional-tuner. You Earthlings get so hung up on specifics. You miss out on seeing the whole deal. Take the South American continent, for example. I have noticed in news reports that in South America thousands of people go missing every year. Nobody knows where they go. They just… disappeared."

Tenchi nodded silently, interested.

"But if you think about it for a minute, you realize something." Washu locked eyes with Tenchi. "There had to be a time when there were no people, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose so." Tenchi nodded again.

"Well where did all these people come from? Hmm? I'll you tell you where, Tenchi… The Future!"

Tenchi blinked.

"And where did all these people disappear to? Hmmm, guinea pig?"

"The past?" Tenchi guessed.

"That's right!" Washu exclaimed. "And how did they get there?"

Tenchi silently shrugged.

Washu wagged her finger, chiding. "Flying saucers. Which are really… yeah, you got it correct, Tenchi: Time machines."

"Wow." Tenchi looked from Washu back to the fire and to the blue sky above them. Somewhere a bird chirped and a police siren wailed.

"I think a lot about this sort of thing since I've come to work here, Tenchi. I do my best thinking in-between dimensions on my commute. That's why I don't drive." Washu shrugged.

"Yeah but Little Washu, you said when we visited the go-cart park last year that you don't like to drive land vehicles." Tenchi remembered the incidence vividly. Washu had offered to modify the go-carts into personal aircraft, or even, yes, interstellar vehicles—but driving those little carts around a track just elicited laughing from her. Washu had even boasted that she didn't know how to drive. "You said, heh, you didn't know how." Tenchi chuckled good naturedly.

"Bah, I don't want to know how." Washu tossed more bags of garbage into the barrel. She waved her hand dismissively. "I don't want to learn. The more you drive, the less intelligent you are."

"I'll try and remember that, Little Washu."

000