It hurt so much to think it.
She wanted to cry.
Ienai kimochi o daita mama
Kono mune ni anata michitekuru
Dakedo setsunakute kurushii omoi naki dashisou
As I'm holding on to these feelings I can't speak of
My heart is filled with visions of you
But its so painful that I think I'll cry
Today was the goddess festival, and Popuri wasn't elected. She didn't know about Elli... She prayed that maybe Jack might pick her as a dance partner. Even if it was only one dance, she'd treasure it forever.
When it came time to walk out and throw the petals, she bit her lip, seeing that Ann was goddess this year. Which meant Jack could still dance with Elli... She prayed that he'd pick her anyway as she walked out in procession with Karen, Maria, and Elli, Ann coming afterwards between them.
Popuri looked on in longing as Jack went to Ann, telling her that she looked nice, making her a little less tense. He was so kind, even to those he didn't feel as he did for Elli for.. She put on her most beautiful smile as he went towards her, and exchanged flowers. The flowers he gave her then.. she'd treasure them forever. "But," she reminded herself, "He exchanged with Elli first."
Jack went to the Mayor, and said that he was ready, they could start the dancing. Naturally, Jack got first choice of dance partners. Popuri's heart fluttered as he walked closer, closer.. 'Yes' was already halfway out of her mouth as he reached her .. and passed her, moving to Elli.
Kanojo o mitsumeru sono hitomi
Towa yuru ga nai ki ga suru no
Demon ne, sukoshi dake..
Honno sukoshi dake kono watashi mite yo
Those eyes with which you look to her
I'm sure that they will never falter
But hey, could you..
Even if only for a minute, look at me
That night, Popuri came home and threw herself onto her bed, trying not to cry.. Why hadn't she gone looking for him when she first realized how she felt?!..
Elli was the first woman here who'd really confronted him. Could she be in Elli's place now, if she'd gotten there first?
Moshi dare yori mo hayaku anata ni deatte itanara
Omou mama ni negau mama ni koi o shita deshou ka
If I had met you before anyone else
Maybe I could have loved you the way I long to do
She choked back tears as she lugged out the old photo album, gazing fondly at the pictures. Two stood out: one recent, of Jack saving her from falling off a cliff. The other old, of the same thing.
Tears streamed down her cheeks into her mess of curly pink hair... It wasn't fair! It wasn't right! Coincidences like that don't happen for nothing! He was meant for her, not Elli! Just one more time, if only she could do it over again one more time, and tell him how she felt before Elli got to him...
Mouichido, mouichido
Umare kawaate aeta nara
Koto wa anata no ichiban ni naritai
One more time, one more time
I was born to meet you again
Let me be your number one
The next day, Jack was in the mountains.. He was coming towards her..!.. Until she saw Elli standing by the river.
This was too much.. Just too much..!.. She hated the sight of him now.
It hurt her.. Every time she saw him, she thought he might come for her. But it was always the same. Always for Elli, or Mommy or Daddy, or seeds. She felt more lonely when she was with her than when she was alone.
Aebu au hodo ni tsunoru bakari
Awanakya sabishi kunaru bakari
Nante migaate na soshite konan na koi o shita no deshou
The more often we meet, the worse I feel
Seeing you is bound to make me lonely
Isn't it selfish, this troublesome love that I feel?
It was midafternoon, and Popuri needed to see him. No matter how much it hurt, even if it made her cry, she wanted to see Jack. She left the Flower Shoppe and came to his farm. "Jack!"
He blinked and looked over at her, smiling half-heartedly as he jogged across the field towards her. "You're working so hard. Here, I brought some herb tea and cakes."
Jack took them gratefully, chowing down on them immediately. She smiled. "Can I come by later..?.. I will, okay?.. Bye!" And she left.
She trudged down the road to her house, scheming to steal him away... But no, she knew she couldn't. Elli hadn't done anything wrong. It was her fault that she felt this way.
They were impossibly far apart. She couldn't reach him with a ten-foot pole.. No, she'd have to forget about it. She couldn't think about it anymore -- it hurt far too much! ...But she couldn't stop thinking about it, either.
Isso ubaeru mo no nara sou kangaeta koto mo aru
Furari no kyori mou kore ijou hanashitaku nai kara
If I could only steal you... Yes, I have thoughts like those, too
The distance between us... This is over: I don't wish to speak anymore
Popuri didn't know who to run to. Not Ann: she wouldn't understand. Not Maria: she was so shy that she wouldn't be able to advise her properly. DEFINATELY not Elli. Elli couldn't know.. Karen was the only one left to understand. So, as she trudged away from Jack's farm, she swerved off to the right, up the hill that led to the vineyard.
Karen was out in the yard in front of the winecellar.. Thank god. At least she'd been easy to find. Popuri walked over to her, nervous and puffy-eyed. "K-karen.. Can I talk with you?"
Karen wrinkled her brow in concern. "Popuri, are you okay?.. I've never seen you like this... C'mon, let's go to the beach. You can tell me what happened as we watch the waves."
Popuri smiled, nodding. "Thank you, Karen." When they got there, Popuri sat on the shore, made a bit uncomfortable by Karen's choice to stand.
"So... What happened?"
"..It's about Jack. I.. I love him. More than anything in the whole world. More than life itsself. But he's with Elli.. I know I should get over it, but I can't! I love him.."
Karen nodded. "Have you told him how you feel?"
"Well.. no."
"Why not?"
"..I don't want him to be upset with me and totally withdraw."
Karen turned away, picking up a stone and tossing it into the sea. "You're a coward. You have to tell him how you feel. There's no more to it." And with that, Karen left, leaving Popuri on the beach to cry, her tears mingling with the tide, knowing she could never tell Jack how she felt.
Okubyou mono da to
Mou hitori no watashi ga iu
Soredemo, itsudemo
Anata ga ichiban yo
You coward
Another may say of me
Nevertheless, as always,
You're my number one
It just wasn't fair. She loved him so much.. It had to be more than Elli did. It had to. Why, oh why hadn't she approached him first? She wanted him to hold her the way he held Elli that day she broke her ankle by the river, she wanted him to tell her everything he told Elli.
And he would be, if she'd only gotten to him first.
Moshi dare yori mo hayaku anata ni deatte itanara
Omou mama ni nagau mama ni koi o shita deshou ka
If I had met you before anyone else
Maybe I could have loved you the way I long to do
But Popuri knew she could never have Jack. She'd seen him go into Rick's shoppe the other day, and he'd come out with a blue feather. She was still trying to deny what she'd seen, still hoping that maybe he didn't plan to use it... But she knew it was all a lie to herself.
But, dammit, she loved him! The whole purpose of her existance was Jack! She was born to be with him! Why couldn't she be his?!.. She hugged her knees to her chest and sobbed huge, crocodile tears into the sea. If she had only one wish, it would be to do it all over again...
But that wish would never come true. And she knew it.
Mouichido, mouichido
Umare kawaate aeta nara
Koto was anata no
Ichiban ni naritai
One more time, one more time
I was born to meet you again
Let me be your number one