KK, these are just some little blurbs of fun. Summarizing Twilight! Of course, it's a parody. Enjoy!
I do not own Twilight, The Macarena, or The Cheescake Factory.
I also do not own The ChaCha Slide.
Bella: I'm going to Forks even though I hate it there!
Edward: I am an angsty vampire that is the only single dude in a house of family members!
***
Bella: Crap. I'm getting attention. I hate attention.
Edward: Why can't I read her freakin' thoughts?
Bella: Jess, that guy's cute.
Jess: (jealously) He's taken. By me.
Bella: You're dating him?
Jess: No.
Bella: ….
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
***
Edward: Agh! That girl smells good! I want to eat her!
Bella: That guys looking at me funny. Stalker….
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
***
Edward: (runs away)
Bella: Where's that creepy dude?
(Everyone does the ChaCha Slide.)
***
Bella: I thought you didn't like me.
Edward: I don't.
Bella: ….
Edward: We really shouldn't be friends.
Bella: Why not?
Edward: Because… Oh screw it.
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
***
Bella: (almost gets raped) Your looking at me funny.
Edward: ….
Bella: What?
Edward: You confuse me.
Bella: Why?
Edward: You should be freaking out so bad that you need to go to the hospital.
Bella: Oh. Well, I'm not. Yay!
Edward: (whispers) Weird. Yay!
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
***
Bella: I know what you are.
Edward: Say it. Out loud.
Bella: (deep shuddering breath) A mermaid.
Edward: Saywhat?
Bella: Crap, is that not it? A sprite. A Pixie. A Unicorn. I didn't get it, did I?
Edward: …. No. I'm actually a vampire.
Bella: Good. I was worrying you were going to sprout wings on me.
Edward: ….
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
***
Bella: I'm scared of your family!
Edward: Good. You at least have some sensibility.
Bella: I mean, what if they keep me away from you.
Edward: Holy freakin Cheescake Factory.
Bella: ….
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
***
Alice: Hi Bella! We are going to be great friends.
Rosalie: Grr.
Jasper: I'm not breathing.
Emmett: (does the Macarena.)
Esme: You are so sweet!
Carlisle: I'm a doctor.
Edward: My family is very weird.
Bella: What? No they aren't!
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
***
Edward: Let's play baseball!
Bella: Okay.
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
***
(Plays Baseball. Bad Vampires come. Bella runs away with Alice and Jasper, runs from Alice and Jasper, and goes to the playground thing in McDonalds.)
James: I want to eat you.
Bella: Not my mom!
James: … Yeah, your Mom's gonna die!
Bella: Le Gasp!
James: Come here!
Bella: Okay.
James: This is boring.
Bella: Sorry. Why don't we play go fish until Edward comes? Then we can pretend that I've been struggling a desperate battle for my life.
James: Sure.
(Later)
Bella: Do you have any twos?
James: Go Fish. Do you have any eights?
Bella: Yeah. Stupid Vampire Speed, you can always tell what I have!
Edward: Bella!
Bella: Edward!
James: Edward!
(Bella and Edward stare at him.)
Emmett: I'm gonna kill you now. (kills him)
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
***
Bella: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alice: Bella, are you being killed again?
Bella: No.
Alice: Then what-?'
Bella: Edward's taking me to prom!
Alice: Aww!
Bella: I don't want to go to prom!
Alice: Le Gasp! Whatever, I'm going to make you look glam anyway.
(Everyone does the ChaCha Slide.)
***
Bella: I can't dance!
Edward: Weird. I can!
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
***
Bella: Make me a vampire.
Edward: No.
Bella: Oh sweet niblits. Please?
Edward: NO.
Bella: Pretty please?
Edward: NO!
Bella: Fine. I really want to though.
Edward: I won't let you sacrifice your soul!
Bella: Soul, Shmoul.
Edward: …
(Everyone does the Macarena.)
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