You sit at the lunch table staring aimlessly. Well that's what everyone thinks. "Sonny, what are you thinking about?" Tawni asked curiously. You knew she was catching on but she would never know the whole truth.
"The rain." You lie. You look out the window and notice that it is in fact raining. You don't want to tell her that you like him. You know your cast will do something about it. You especially can't tell him for fear of rejection. You look over at his table noticing that he has another girl by his side. You sigh, fighting tears as you look down.
'He will never love you like you do him.' You think as Tawni gets up. You don't notice until she clears her throat.
"Are you coming?" She asked while looking at her nails. You nodded giving one last look in his direction. You turn back before looking at the look he gives you. His eyes are filled with sorrow. You don't realize that the girl he is dating is for the show. You realize that Tawni will be asking questions, so you put on your best smile.
"So are you ready for the new 'Check It Out Girls'?" You ask and for a second you forget about him. Tawni nods her head and goes on and on about the newest sketch idea. You smile and nod at the appropriate times. Her blonde hair bounces excitedly as she talks. "I can't believe Chad is dating her." She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. It is no secret to you that Tawni is crushing on Chad.
"I know, and for him to bring her here," you decide to play along. You know she would suspect something if you didn't answer.
"You know, I don't even like Chad anymore." She exclaims bringing you out of your thoughts. You slightly smile at the thought and decide to pry a bit.
"Why?" She looks at you with disbelief and begins to laugh.
"He is so full of himself. When do you care that I had a crush on him? I thought you told me to stay away from the enemy." You know she is right. You told her that she shouldn't go after the show's rival.
"Just wondering." You answer and she seems content with it. She begins to talk about random, pointless things. You notice something moving in the corner of your eye. You turn your head slightly, careful not to attract attention. You see a hand beckoning toward you. "Tawni, I'll meet you in the prop house. I forgot something in the cafeteria." She looks at you quizzically but you keep a blank expression.
"Okay, just hurry up. You have to help me pick my nail polish." You nod and she skips off toward the prop house. You wait until she can't see you anymore before going to the plant. You search the area for sight of the person that motioned for you.
A hand covers your mouth while another grabs your waist. You yelp out a muffled scream of surprise. You realize that you are facing the mysterious person. His lips cover yours as you open your eyes. You blink a few times to try to see if your eyes are deceiving you. But they aren't, you are actually kissing Chad. He pulls apart, resting his forehead against yours. Your eyes are still closed taking in everything that just happened.
"I love you. But I'm sorry it has to be this way." You know what he means. You know he can't betray his boss, but a part of you wants him to fight for you. You pull away and lean against the wall. You feel your knees go out and you begin sliding down the wall. You bring your knees to your chest. You know this happens a lot.
"I know," you whisper. He shakes his head and gets ready to leave. You watched his figure turn around to you again.
He crouches down and looks you in the eyes. "One day we won't have to hide. One day I'll be your knight in shining armor." You smile knowing the day will never come. You watch his fading figure wondering what would happen if he fought for your love. You wonder where the two of you would be. You sigh, knowing that you should never wonder the 'what if's because he would never. The world will never know about your hidden kisses.
You get up and glance at your surrounding. You notice a little note located where he was standing. Curious, you open it and reveal his perfect penmanship.
Sonny,
One day we won't have to hide. I will fight for you.
Chad
You sigh knowing it would be another broken promise like when he says he is sorry it has to be this way. You crumble the note in your hand and threw it into the waste bucket. Your heart aches for the note to be true; but your mind knows it will never be. So what do you do? You just wait and wonder when he will break your heart again.