I posted this fic a while ago, but I went over it again and added some stuff, so I hope y'all like it better.
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?
It had been such a long time.
It had been such a long time since he had a day off with no plans, such a long time since he wandered the cold streets in his winter coat without a specific destination and such a long time since he had felt the happiness that he'd felt when he was around her.
It had been a very long time.
Too long, if he wanted to be melodramatic. But truth be told, he didn't even remember exactly how long it had been, just that enough time had passed for people to notice change. His smile was ever present, but seemed to have lost the shine that made it so attractive. His productivity increased, but only because he had started spending more and more time in the office. He was always the first to help anyone, but lately he had been volunteering for so many projects that his boss, Jiraiya, was getting worried.
"You need a break, kid," the older man had warned when he had come to work only to find his protégé asleep at his desk. Clearly he hadn't gone home that night either.
"-'m fine," he yawned. "Just need some coffee."
"Like hell you do," Jiraiya shot back. "It's one week before Christmas, take the day off. If I see you on the company server within the next 24 hours, you're taking compulsory leave till New Year."
That got him moving. There was no way he could spend the next month without something to occupy him. One day wouldn't hurt, would it?
The problem with a day off was that he didn't have anything to spend the time on. Sasuke was probably busy arranging security for the Christmas parade, and he sure didn't want to spend it in his empty apartment; it reminded him too much of her. His apartment was where they ate and slept and watched television and lazed around and made love. That was where they were most together, away from the outside world.
Now, his apartment was just…dull. It was but a place where he slept and put things that didn't belong in the office. Hell, he spent more time in the office than in his own home. It was messy and dirty and would only serve to make him unhappy and frustrated.
No, today he'd walk the cold streets of Konoha and breathe in the chilling fresh air.
Buttoning up his favourite winter coat and wrapping his orange scarf snuggly around his neck, he plugged in his earphones, grabbed his keys and left the apartment.
Very soon he had lost himself into lyrics of songs that he hadn't remembered choosing himself. It felt funny that after she'd left, every single love song that he heard seemed to describe her perfectly. Today was no exception.
Thinking maybe you'll come back in to the place that we'd meet
It wasn't until a car nearly slammed into him that he snapped out of his reverie and saw that 1. the sky was starting to get dark. Had he really been walking for the past few hours? Rubbing his hands together, he also realised that 2. his hands were freezing to the point of numbness, so he searched for a coffee house that he could warm up in. He raised his head, his eyes widened when he finally concluded that 3. somehow his body had a natural homing instinct.
'Ichiraku's coffee'. It was the very same place where he had met her. The coffee house had been packed full of people and the only available spot was in front of a pretty young lady with beautiful pink hair and mesmerising green eyes. He had awkwardly asked permission to sit, and she had replied with a dazzling smile. She was studying something to do with medicine, and he was working on an article for the newspaper. They had been their own work till she noticed him staring at her face (who wouldn't want to stare at a brilliant piece of art?) and instead of treating him like a creep, she had teased him. He had the good grace to look embarrassed, and from there, conversation came naturally. A few days later they were already good friends, and a few weeks later, they were a couple.
Somehow, his body had a memory of its own, and in his aimless wandering, he had ended up here again. Typically, he would attempt to avoid anything that reminded him of her, but he was cold and hungry, and besides, it was Christmas. So he thought, why not?
Stepping in, he ordered a cappuccino and a few slices of Black Forest Chocolate cake (it's Christmas!) and sat down by the window, looking outside at the city in appreciation. He enjoyed this view – people bustling around, some trying to finish their Christmas shopping list, others rushing home after a long day at work. He spotted a couple walking down the street, arm in arm, just enjoying the cold air and the warmth of each other's company. The boy said something and the girl laughed, and though he couldn't hear what the boy had said, he felt a smile tug at his lips. There was something strangely relaxing about the whole situation; here he was, warm and cosy, sipping coffee and watching the world go about its business.
If only she hadn't left.
He scowled, how could he allow himself to think that? Of course she had to leave; it was for her own good, and besides, she didn't really have that much of a choice. Konoha had agreed to help advance Suna's knowledge of medicine in exchange for raw materials found only in the dessert. So as the leading scientist in medical research and development, it was no surprise that she had been one of the many doctors sent. Suna's Ministry of Health had requested that she stay for a year to help in the development of its own research and development centres, and as a representative of Konoha, she had no choice but to be gracious and agree to it.
It wasn't that they hadn't tried to maintain a long distance relationship, it was just too painful to be apart for so long. They'd called every night, until some nights she couldn't, and then he started to get upset, and they started fighting. They didn't fight much at first, but eventually they were fighting every night, and then she ended it, calling him to tell him that she couldn't handle fighting him every night, because as happy as he had made her in her entire time in Konoha, he was making her very miserable now. And just like that, a year of love and affection disappeared with a single phone call.
He wondered how she was doing now, and what she was doing. He thought about her radiant smile and her fiery personality. He thought about her beautiful face and her melodious voice. Perhaps she was hanging out with her new friends in Suna, going out for drinks or going shopping for Christmas presents. Perhaps she was just sitting in her new home, drinking hot apple cider mixed with red wine (because she was weird that way), curled up on her couch with a book in her hand.
"Naruto?"
He swung his head round when he heard his name. Some people say that when you're shocked, your heart stops in your throat. That's not true. Naruto's heart was hammering very loudly and rapidly against his ribcage, but his throat seemed to close in on itself. His mind thought of a million things to say, but none of them seemed to be a good idea.
"Sa-Sakura-chan?"
There she stood, seemingly as surprised as him. Her pink hair was still as beautiful as ever, and it was a little longer now. Her features hadn't changed all that much, but when he looked into her eyes, she seemed more…tired. It took every ounce of his self-control not to leap up and crush her in his arms. But he wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do, and he wasn't sure if she still felt for him what he definitely still felt for her. Perhaps she had a boyfriend now. Perhaps she was still upset at him. But he wasn't sure, so he sat still and gapped at her like an idiot.
"May I take this seat?" she asked hesitantly, gesturing to the chair in front of him.
"Of course," he replied too quickly. Giving him a small smile, she took her seat and shrugged off her coat. An awkward silence ensued almost immediately, but neither of them was in a rush to break it – there were too many questions to be asked and no indication of where to start.
"What are you doing here?" he finally asked.
She scoffed. "Buying coffee?"
"No, that's not what I meant," he raked his fingers through his thick blond hair, sounding frustrated. "I just thought you were still in Suna."
She looked down at her coffee cup. "I just got back a couple of days ago," she replied. "I'm finally finished with my work there, Naruto." She took a deep breath. "My mission is complete."
His lips moved slightly, threatening to smile. Had it really been a whole year since she had left? "How come you didn't tell me? I'd have picked you up at the airport."
"I went to your apartment to look for you, but you weren't there." At this he smiled sheepishly.
"Yeah, about that," he chuckled, a little embarrassed. "I've been sleeping in the office lately."
"What?!" She nearly yelled. "That's not healthy! Are you at least eating more than cup ramen?"
And just like that they were talking normally again. Well, not completely normally, but the awkwardness had mostly lifted, and the light was slowly but steadily returning to their eyes. She told him all about her time in Suna, the people she met and all the good that she had accomplished. He told her all about the people she'd missed, and all the new things that popped up in Konoha. Before they knew it, the sky was littered in stars and the lights from shop houses and offices were the only things brightening the streets.
"It's getting late," Naruto observed, looking at his wristwatch. "Shall I walk you home?"
"Mm… Sure," she replied after little thought.
"Great, where're you staying?" He pulled on his coat and tightened his scarf.
"With my parents," she said with a small smile. She noticed that it was the same scarf she had given him on his birthday, but she didn't mention it. "It's just until I find a place of my own to stay. It shouldn't be too far from here."
It was quite far. But that was alright, because the half hour they spent walking in the freezing weather was warmed by the constant conversation between the two. It felt good to finally chat about everything and nothing at the same time. It was a tad confusing though, not knowing exactly how much someone, whom you used to know to the core, had changed in the time that you've been apart. But the mood was lighter and they both hopped around the elephant in the room, desperately hoping to avoid the issue of their separation.
The real awkwardness started when they reached her front door. What was he supposed to do? Give her a hug? A handshake? This wasn't a date, and she wasn't his girlfriend anymore. A kiss was definitely out of line here. Pat on the shoulder? Wave while walking away? What the hell was he supposed to do?
"So, um…" he started, unaware that his internal war was similar to the one she was waging as well.
"Um!" She squeaked. "Kiba's having a Christmas party on Christmas eve!" His eyes widened for a moment, then he smiled. It must have slipped his mind with all his work going on. "You're coming right?" Was that hopefulness he saw in her eyes? Was the pink on her cheeks from the cold or from embarrassment? His smile widened.
"Believe it!"
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do?
Kiba's party was everything a party should be – loud, exciting and downright rowdy. Everyone was ecstatic that Naruto and Sakura had both turned up, and happiness meant more drinking, and more drinking meant more people got drunk. In other words, Ino was hugging her best friend and crying or laughing or both about everything. Kiba was challenging a quite sober Naruto to fights that he could never win, and Sasuke was helping Naruto keep everyone in line. Hinata was out cold on the couch, and Neji was watching over her.
Eventually, people were either asleep or heading home. In the end, Naruto, being the good friend, tucked Kiba into bed next to Hinata, who was already there. Sakura waited for him after clearing a bit of the mess in the apartment.
"Neh, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked after a while. "You doing anything later?"
She shook her head. "But it's getting late. Shouldn't you go home?"
He sighed. "I don't really wanna go back to my apartment right now. Besides, grab your coat, I've got a better idea!" And with that he stood up and shrugged on his coat. Sakura didn't even question why she followed him, because at that moment, it felt as if they had never been apart, and the old feelings of trust arose again. So she followed him, no questions asked.
He took her through the streets that she once knew as well as he did, but things had changed little by little in the year that she had been absent. Looking around, memories spent at each of these places filled her mind and brought a smile to her face. Finally they reached their destination, the highest point of Konoha – The Hokage Monument.
There are no holes in his shoes, but a big hole in his world.
At night, the view from the Hokage Monument is the most beautiful. As the city is surrounded by the black of the night, the lights in the city make it the most breath taking sight in the country. That night, as Sakura looked down onto the city, Naruto had no idea what he was doing. For the past year, he had been heartbroken, but now he had just spent the evening with she who still held his heart in her hands. He didn't know what to do or what to say. So, he acted on instinct and thought to himself, ah what the hell, it's Christmas.
He took a step forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Sakura, pressing her face against his chest.
"I've missed you," he whispered.
"Na-Naruto…"
"I've missed you so much," he insisted. "After we stopped talking, I couldn't sleep well, I couldn't eat well, I couldn't feel any happiness anymore. I'm sorry for being such an ass. It wasn't your fault that you had to go, you have a life and work too. I should have been more understanding, but it was just so painful being apart from you." His arms never let go of her, so she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, getting a strong whiff of his scent.
After a while she finally replied.
"I missed you too." These four words melted his heart and he almost started crying. "Being away from you was painful for me too, and in the past year, there has not been a single day that I do not think about you. I mean that. You're the first person I look for when I wake up and the person I look for when I go to bed. Whenever I'm alone, I get sad because you're not there to make me better. I've gotten so tired without you by my side."
His heart hammered in his chest and his grip on her tightened. Once again, he had to remind himself it's Christmas, man, it's Christmas.
"Sakura-chan," he said before his resolve could falter. "I still love you."
He felt her tense in his arms, and though a flash of pain struck his heart, he carried on.
"I've always loved you and I probably will still love you for a very very long time. Can we start again? Can we forget all the hiccups in our relationship and be together again? I need you in my life again." He still didn't let go of her for the minute that she was silent. It was the longest minute of his life.
"No."
He finally let go and took a step back. He understood. How could he expect anything better? "I get-"
"No, we cannot forget the hiccups in our relationship, because it's the imperfections in us that make us perfect together. We cannot forget because what pulled us apart can very well put us back together better than before. So, no, we can't forget, but of course we can be together again. After all, I still love you too."
A rush of happiness flooded Naruto and he saw that Sakura was grinning too, with tears in her eyes. He stepped forward and placed his fingers on her chin, tilting her face up.
"Merry Christmas, Sakura-chan," was all he said before he kissed her. It was a gentle but desperate kiss, too long deprived and yet filled with affection. They parted and Naruto saw Sakura was still smiling at him.
"Baka," she teased. "That better not be my only Christmas present."
A/N: Hello everyone! In case y'all didn't realise, this one-shot is based on "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script (you know, just in case the one liners I threw around the fic wasn't enough). Lately I've just been missing the girl I dated while in college till I had to leave prematurely, and although it's been a whole year already, I still miss her, especially when Christmas was the last time I saw her. So yes, this fic is based very much on me, and how I had to leave college, and our long distance relationship didn't work out. So I hope y'all liked it! Please review, it helps me write faster and more, and I can update my other stories faster!
Peace!
Shuzen-sama