The New Cutting Edge of Technology

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to Disney. The song, on the other hand, is something I spent a while coming up with. It took a long time to come up with lyrics that actually match the original rhythm.

It was an ordinary day for the household of what our heroes called the master. He had just returned from the store and shouted, "Chris, I'm home! I bought some new products on the market!"

Upon hearing this, a purple lamp made a suspicious look at the master. He noticed something odd. The master's boxes were rather big.

The master laughed and said, "Hey, Chris, I'm going to install this stuff later, but I figured that we might as well go out for dinner to find more uses for that big pay raise I got."

"What about your portable computer, projector, new vacuum and stereo?" the master's wife asked as the boy laughed and said, "I don't see any reason to keep them anymore."

The purple lamp came to life and told the other appliances about these nightmare creations that the master had brought into the house. All 4 of them along with the blender and the microwave oven came out and noticed the boxes lined up. One of them was labeled 'Laptop Computer', the other was a small box labeled 'iPod' and the other was a big box labeled 'DVD Player'.

"What are these things?" Stereo asked in astonishment.

The cooking appliances noticed a horrifying sight. One of the boxes contained a new, stronger microwave with more buttons than the current one had, and another was a beater.

The other box contained a special lamp that had 6 lights attached to it instead of one and the final box had a special unique type of vacuum cleaner that didn't have a container for anything it picked up.

There was also a box with a new phone that, instead of a wheel, used buttons with numbers on it.

As they examined this new machinery, the boxes popped open and these fancy machines with more buttons than the current ones had came out of their packaging.

"What are you supposed to be?" the portable computer asked for the first time with a frown on his face.

The new computer opened up its top and said, "I'm what's known as a laptop!"

"What's so great about all you knew guys?" the machines spat as the modern appliances laughed and stated, "Since we came here unexpected, we all knew you'd be surprised, we are not your average machines. No one else would even bother, but since you want to be enlightened, we will take you to the brand new cutting edge!"

The laptop grinned and said, "You carry me anywhere you go, and I don't even need to be plugged in. I'm also stronger against common viruses."

"Communication? Not a problem!" the phone explained, "You can punch the numbers now. It will take seconds to call your dear old Aunt Florence."

"MORE! MORE! MORE!" the machines stated as the laptop said, "We're everything you wanted and more!"

Then they all came together and said, "Printing's no longer a pain, you get your image twice as fast, and the quality is truly ace!"

Then, the DVD player hooked itself up to the TV and inserted a disc stating, "You want to view your movie now, you will not have to wait. You can skip through all of those boring ads. You can even change settings and the make much better! There is also scene select! You can go to any scene!"

"MORE! MORE! MORE!" the machines stated, "HERE'S EVERYTHING YOU WANTED AND MORE!"

The beaters grinned and said, "If you want to mix your dough, and make sure it's working out, you can just hold onto me and have full control."

Then, the microwave heated up the dough mixture and said, "I can mix for you twice as fast, waiting longer is for saps! I can mix very quickly and that's no mistake!"

"MORE! MORE! MORE!" the machines said, "We're everything you wanted and more!"

Then, they grinned and said, "We're the appliances to use, we're the contraptions to call! We are the new age cutting edge!"

As the old appliances listened to this, they cringed as the new machines said, "From CD players to synthesizers, satellite dishes and recorders, we will give you a life of ease. Everything you dreamed of is on the edge, and more!"

This was the final straw. For the first time, the appliances finally knew what it was like to be taunted by someone superior. They couldn't help but cry for the first time.