Breathe

If someone were to tell me that on the 17th of October 2010, I would be slowly making my way to the bottom of the ocean floor, I would not have believed them. I would have told them that they were crazy and that I would be celebrating my birthday with my family. But unfortunately, or fortunately (whichever you choose), this was true. Let me explain by taking you back the day before; 16th of October, 2010.

My two brothers, Dean and Sam, were driving home from a month long camping trip, and I was anxious to see them. We were all very close, and I hated spending time apart from them. I glanced at the clock for the hundredth time today, it read 10pm; they were late once again.

'Alice go to bed, I'm sure they would be tired anyway. You can see them in the morning, go get some sleep.' My father said to me. 'Fine… blueberry waffles for breakfast please.' I smiled sweetly, and without waiting for an answer, went to bed.

The next morning, the sound of dad talking on the phone woke me. I slid out of my covers and crept to my phone, making sure to cover the bottom, so I could listen in.

'Good morning, Is Mr. Brandon home?'

'Speaking.'

'Mr. Brandon I am terribly sorry, but we believe that your sons Dean and Sam Brandon were in a car accident last night. I'm sorry to say, they didn't make it. We need you to come to the morgue to identify their bodies. My sincere apologies Mr. Brandon.' The officer said.

I dropped the phone in pure shock, I couldn't believe my ears. This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't. They were supposed to be here. We were supposed to have breakfast together and celebrate my birthday. I hurriedly changed and stormed out the house. I heard my Dad yelling after me, no doubt knowing what I had heard. I didn't know where I was going but I knew it was somewhere far.

Tears were streaming freely down my cheeks, as I drove the car far away from my home. I felt pleasure at the burn in my eyes, and stinging cheeks from the cold morning air. I welcomed the pain… for any pain, was better then the pain my heart felt at this moment. The knowledge that I was now an only child, wrenched my heart out. The tears never stopped flowing, and the pull in my chest only worsened every breath I took.

I had no idea how long I had driven for, but I found myself now standing on a 60 meter high cliff. Looking down, I saw rocks at the base of the cliff. Knowing that if I were to jump into them, it would end my existent quickly. I spread my arms wide, threw my head back closing my eyes, listening to the wave crash against the rocks. Hearing the birds chirping, the wind rustling through the trees calmed me, but the tears kept running. I breathed in deeply as the wind blew through my dark hair.

Facing forward, my arms back to my sides, I thought of my father. What it would do to him if I were to end my life. My brothers would have wanted me to live a happy live with dad, but it would never be the same ever again… and I couldn't live like that.

'I love you dad.' I whispered, throwing myself as far into the ocean as possible, knowing I didn't deserve to die quickly for what I was doing to my family. I closed my eyes once again, knowing that the pulling at my heart would soon end, knowing that I might get to see Dean and Sam soon. But also knowing… that I was destroying my father.

I opened my eyes, to see I was almost to the water. With tears streaming down my rosy cheeks, the wild wind blowing through my brown hair and both legs and arms spread, I took my last breath before plummeting into the ice cold water. Furious waves threw me into the rocks, and water built up in my lungs. I crashed against the rocks over and over…fighting against the waves just on instinct. One last wave into the sharp rocks, and darkness overtook all my senses. I would never shed a single tear more, feel another pull in my chest, or feel the wind in my hair as my lifeless body slowly sank deep into the ocean.

Only now would I believe that this was my fate. Only after having taken my own life would I have believed you if you had of told me, I would die alone on my 17th birthday. As I am now with my brothers, I wonder what would have happened had I stayed on earth. But still, as my body sinks, I will never forget what I have done to my father, filling me with regret to the very core.

I'm sorry father, forgive me.

The End

Review anyone? Hope you enjoyed this. Just a little one shot, I was bored :)