Still don't own Love Live

There's nothing more satisfying than writing angsty Maki

Night

Maki put her palm on her neck. Another cough, this time it felt like it's burning. Either this was because of the dust or she was incredibly sick, Maki didn't know. The painful sensation was perpetual, it stung like it tried to strangle her from inside.

She reminded herself to take some cough syrup after this.

"Hold the door please!"

And just like that, Maki held the door to let the woman in. She recalled her name was Umi, and she moved in to this apartment about three months ago. The same time when she got sick.

"Thank you," she said but Maki didn't care. Maki wasn't the one who loved changing pleasantries. She's tired and the burning in her throat only got worse if she talked.

She watched Umi pressed the button, silently memorizing that the girl lived in the 23rd floor. The elevator hummed as it went up. Both women didn't say anything until Umi exited the elevator.

The door closed and not a second after that Maki coughed.

A red rose petal fell to the floor.

#####

One fine night

By the time Maki arrived, it was almost midnight. Tonight was Christmas eve and everyone was on the street celebrating. She blamed the hype. Christmas was her least favorite day because the hospital was always hectic that time, which meant another long work hour for her.

She didn't bother to spare a glance to the couple inside the elevator. From the corner of her eyes, she noticed a familiar shade of dark blue beside her. Umi was with someone: a man probably already in his late twenties and definitely drunk.

Maki rolled her eyes. Umi didn't seem like the type, but who was Maki to judge? People sinned differently.

She wished that her iPod was working because the giggles that came from behind began to make her angry. Her throat clenched; Maki put her hand on her mouth and held the impending cough.

The elevator stopped and Maki made a quick dash outside. This wasn't even her floor but she had to get out for her cough was getting unbearable. She spent good ten minutes inside the restroom, vomiting red petals– now with dark splotches which Maki correctly deduced it was blood– and felt very exhausted.

She took one petal and observed it; glowering as the confusion dawned upon her.

What's this sickness?

#####

Few days later. Another night. Another numbness

Maki hated coffee but tonight was cold and she still had some paperwork to do. Holding the cup loosely, she dragged her feet to the lobby and waited for the elevator to come. She took the liquid in, wincing at the bitterness, while keeping her eyes locked on the panel.

"Hard day?"

The voice was unfamiliar– or was it? Maki tried to ignore but her body reacted and the same burn began gnawing on her neck, so she turned her head around.

"Yeah. Sort of," she managed to squeeze the answer, ignoring the growing prick.

They never talked directly and Maki scolded herself that she didn't need to feel elated with this petty conversation.

Strangely, she did.

Umi nodded. "Hospital's definitely pretty busy this time of year. A nurse?"

Maki cleared her throat. "Neurosurgeon."

Umi made a small noise of 'oh' and their conversation stopped. Maki looked up the panel. Impatient. What took this damn elevator so long?

"You're always coughing."

As on cue, Maki coughed at that. Red petal dropped into her half-full cup. "W-what?"

Umi gave her a concerned look and it did something horrible to Maki's conscience.

"Like that. You're always coughing. Have you checked that out?"

Maki coughed again. It was worse this time as if thorny vines was growing rapidly within her. She dropped the paper cup and the dark liquid soiled her impeccable white canvas shoes. Flower petals came out from her mouth and she couldn't stop herself from coughing. Her knees buckled and her entire being collapsed onto the hard, cold floor.

She didn't hear Umi's concerned voice or feel the gentle touches of Umi's hand on her back. Maki was in pain, and it got severe every time Umi was near her. But why? Why she always had this reaction when Umi was around?

Ignoring Umi's call, Maki took the stairs. She was sick. What if it's contagious? It'd be bad if Umi had to sick because of her.

Next morning she overheard janitors complaining they had to mop the emergency staircase all night from blood, broken vines, and rose petals.

####

Night at the hospital

Nico, the nurse who Maki often worked with, knew about the young surgeon condition. Nico was a kind woman; a bit on the quirky side and sometimes tend to sprout nonsense (which often ticked Maki off). One day when they had dinner together, she told this disease to Maki with a serious look on her face.

"Nico, there's no way that disease exist. Hell, I'm even sure that you're making this up," Maki quipped with an impatient shake of her head.

"Yeah? Well, can you explain that with that logical analysis you're so proud of?" Nico mocked, waving her plastic fork

Maki was confused but she tried to put this weird condition as logical as possible. "Probably infection. And some kind of new virus that we have yet to know. I'm going to ask R&D to do some research."

However, Nico was displeased with the offhanded comment. "It's not, you blockhead. You're–"

Maki raised her hand. "No more words. I've had enough of that."

"You're going to keep coughing and you'll die. When that happens, I don't want to make colorful commentary in your funeral."

The snide actually humored Maki. "Don't worry. I won't die."

Maki wouldn't die, not like this. She already made an appointment for surgery to remove the sickness.

This disease had nothing to do with the existence of Sonoda Umi and what Maki felt for the her.

Maki would recover from it.

####

Night again. Back to square one

Tonight was lonely and music was her only comfort as she trudged into the main lobby. Another night, another exhausting hours, another elevator ride. That was her life. It drained her. It's exhausting.

Her plea to do surgery was rejected. Who'd blame them? Nobody would believe that Maki had thorny vines growing inside her and coughing flower petals. That's just ridiculous and plain insulting to any medical credibility.

Damn them. Maki would do the surgery herself if she could.

She was moving in autopilot and held the elevator door when someone faintly called. Another press, the door finally closed.

Maki felt someone tapping her shoulder. She bit back a curse. Umi was here with her.

"Hey," the girl greeted with gentle smile. From the fancy dress she's wearing, it's easy to assume that she just got back from a party.

Maki's smile, however, was a bitter one.

"Hi."

"How's your cough? Is it getting better?"

It's not. But Maki would never tell Umi that. "Been taking a couple of medicines. I'll be fine."

Umi remained unfazed at Maki's curt response. She held Maki's arm and stared at the bewildered violet irises. "Did I do something wrong?"

Maki's answer was an automatic, "No."

"Then why do you always have this painful look when I'm around you?"

"Because I'm sick!"

Maki was getting panicked now. She could feel the vines growing and thorns stabbing. Casting wild looks around the tiny room, Maki was struggling to run away.

She couldn't stop it. Dropping to one knee, her mouth opened wide, rose petals poured out from her. It went on and on, in a lengthy violent waves that crushed her inside out. Eyes brimming with tears, she stared at the scattered red petals, the green stems that had specks of blood on their thorns.

Maki stared up at Umi, waiting for any repulsive comment from the other girl about her current condition. Umi did say nothing, just staring at Maki with unreadable look.

But it only made Maki feel worse. Umi's eyes were giving her whiplash, tearing her apart.

She was exposed, naked and bare in front of the woman who affected her so severely.

Maki kept her head down, crying still. "Please," she whispered. "Don't look at me."

There was only deafening silence until the elevator made a 'ting' sound and Maki heard Umi quietly shuffled out.

She spent the rest of the ride crying and cursing herself for being so weak.

####

Night. Begin again

She received a letter when she arrived that night. A simple envelope with neat handwriting on the front. She didn't ask the sender's name, heck she probably wouldn't bother to read it either. Yet Maki accepted the letter and found herself riding the elevator again.

After that night when she was exposed, Maki rarely saw Umi again. She didn't know if it was for the best, but she preferred it like this. Without Umi around, Maki was able to breathe a little easier although her heart was still clenching and her coughing hadn't fully recovered.

A note to herself: this would pass. Maki knew, Maki hoped, although she wasn't sure how long this would take.

The envelope felt heavy in her hand and as much as she wanted to throw it away, that small, annoying voice behind her head kept whispering the same words since the first minute she received that letter.

open up. open up. open up.

She opened the letter, eyes scanned tiny letters written on the white paper.

You can't choose the person you love. And I also don't have the choice but to feel something about you.

The name was Sonoda Umi and a white rose petal was stuck at the bottom of the letter.