A Day in the Life/Here Comes the Sun
Man was about to land on the moon. This would be a remarkable event for both Muggle and Wizard kind. People all across the world, watched it from their living rooms, or listened to the announcement on the radio, even wizards tuned in. This was Big News. Everyone was paying attention. Everyone but Remus Lupin.
You see, Remus didn't care about man landing on the moon; except to hope that the muggle astronauts would make a mistake while up in space and blow up that stupid rock that made his life hell. When he was seven he had been bitten by a werewolf and all the moon became to him was an adversary he had to fight every month.
As a nine year old, even a nine year old with two Ravenclaws for parents, Remus didn't have the vocabulary of profanity to express the amount he hated the moon; how much he wished the stupid public would stop caring about the moon and the damnable people landing on it. In the selfish way children often think, he thought they should hate it as much as he did. That they should know how much pain it caused him and stop talking about the bloody stupid thing. But he didn't know how to say this; so, as many a child does when they can't express how they feel in words, he acted out.
It started with small things. He stared at a vase on top of the telly for so long and saw it destroyed so clearly that it broke. His father didn't even need to take his eyes off the screen to fix it.
Then he hid the newspaper; next made the television lose reception. But these too, were easy for his parents to fix.
This made him even angrier. The next day, he went into his parent's study and pushed every record they owned off the shelf, knowing full well this would break every one of them. Then, to make sure it did, he stomped on them, burying 'Abby Road' at the bottom of the pile, knowing seeing John or any of the Beatles faces would stop him. But his mother repaired the albums with a quick flick of her wand.
Then at dinner he threw his plate on the floor and watched it shatter. His mother and father looked at each other, concerned. As Ferdinand cleaned up the mess, Josephine spoke, "Remus, darling, what's wrong with you? I don't want to send you to bed early; I want you to watch the-" she paused, her brow knitting and her lipstick covered lips pursing as she suddenly understood, "oh, bollocks, that's what this is about, innit? The moon landing? That's why you've been in a state all week?"
Remus curled his legs up into the chair, barely being able to see his mother over them. He nodded, tears threatening to escape his eyes.
"Tell mum and me about it. How it makes you feel. Words give you power, you know. Naming what's wrong can do a lot to lessen the control it has over you." Ferdinand said, sitting down and moving his chair towards his son; trying to reassure him with a pat on the knee or the shoulder. But Remus pulled away and shot his father and evil glance.
"I can't," he said finally. It wasn't an 'I'm a boy, we don't talk about our feelings, we ignore them' I can't but more of an 'I'm too angry for any words I know to express it' I can't.
"Perhaps," said Josephine in the most cheerful voice she could muster, "a trip to the bookstore is in order."
Ferdinand looked at his lover puzzled. They may have been Ravenclaws, but they discovered a long time ago that books don't solve every problem.
Josephine explained her reasoning to her partner slowly, "Since RJ can't find the words he wants to use; he needs a thesaurus."
"Is that one of those muggle healers that sits you on his couch and talks to you about your mother and how you're secretly in love with her?"
Both of his parents started to laugh. This irritated Remus, but soon enough they stopped.
"No, Re, that's a psychiatrist. A thesaurus is a book with lots of words-"
"Like 'War and Peace'?"
"Not quite. It helps you find a word with the same meaning as another word. It gives you more freedom in what you write. For me being able to find another word, it's a bit like going shopping for a new coat because the old one is a bit small. The old one can still keep you warm, but it gets a bit confining after awhile; buying a new coat gives you more room to move, "Ferdinand explained.
"We can go get the book and then have dinner while we're out maybe; I don't feel like spaghetti tonight," said Josephine pushing her plate away. Remus knew she was lying, but the idea of a trip to town; getting to have dinner there excited him.
"D'you want your coat?" Ferdinand asked from the doorway as Remus and his mother put on their shoes.
"It's the middle of July! We don't need coats," Remus said, sticking his tongue out as he tied his shoes. He was still getting use to laces and tying his shoes took a lot of focus.
"But it might get chilly later," Josephine said, "so I'd bring them Ferdy; worst case if one of us falls asleep in the car they'll make nice pillows."
The ride to town was slow and peaceful. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band filled the car, dragging Remus off with it. His parents were a bit too old to be Hippies, Beatniks they had been, but not Hippies. They loved the music Hippies created though and so did their son; even if he did think long hair looked rather silly on a boy. 'I'll never grow my hair out like that; not be friends with any bloke who does either,' he thought tiredly, 'never.' He did of course, when he was about thirteen. But thirteen was too far away for him to see now, even in his dreams.
He fell asleep around the time 'Fixing a Hole' came on. His father woke him up when they reached the bookshop. 'A Day in the Life' had just started; Remus' favourite song on the whole album.
"Can we stay in the car until this song is finished? Please Mum, Dad?"
"I suppose," Josephine said, sighing dramatically and putting her hand to her forehead, "I really would rather not listen to one of the best songs by the Beatles ever, but if you're going to force me..."
Ferdinand started, "He's no more forcing you than I force you to-"Josephine elbowed him.
"Not in front of the child, Ferdy. We don't want to sully up his mind; tha's what housemates at Hogwarts are for."
"Ssh; quit being all mushy; John's singing!"
"Remus and John, sitting in a tree-" began his mother in a singsong way. Irritating her children, in her mind at least, was part of the fun of having them.
"Quiet! I mean it Mum. "
"-K-I-S-S-I-N-G first comes love."
"I mean it. Really."
"Leave the boy alone, Josie. Even if he does fancy John at least he chose the most handsome of the four. Good taste that means."
"He is a rather handsome bloke, inne? If I met him one day and he fell in love with me, would you be insulted if I left you?"
"Certainly not, he's too good looking to pass up. Better hope RJ isn't a homosexual though; fight over blokes you will."
The song ended, apart for the dog whistle part, which always irritated Remus. So he said, "Come on, let's go get this book so we can get dinner. I'm hungry."
It was easy enough to find the book once they got to the shop. The older woman who ran the store was rather courteous and helpful. They chose the largest of three thesauruses the store carried. It was hard for Remus to carry it to the car. It was a bit heavy after all; but he couldn't wait to figure out why his parents thought it would be useful. The moment the three of them got back to the car he decided to ask.
"So, how do you use this?" he asked fingering the letters on the cover.
"You think of a word and then you look for it in there and it gives you many other words for it. So say I choose the word 'irritating'; you turn to the page and it'll give you words that mean the same. But hand it to me. There are two things I'd like to add to it," Ferdinand asked, reaching into the backseat.
Remus handed it to him. He waved his wand and then pressed the tip to the book's cover. Then he handed it back to his son.
"What did you do to it?" Josephine asked suspiciously as she put her keys in the ignition and then turned it.
"Added a dedication and some of the more 'colourful' synonyms and antonyms, is all; nothing big."
Josephine chastised him, "Really, Ferdinand, he's only nine. Nine year olds shouldn't know profanity; it'll make us look like bad parents if he uses those words at school," but the grin on her face said she didn't mind.
They stopped driving once they reached the woods on the outskirts of their property.
"Why are we stopping?"Remus asked rubbing his eyes.
"Picnic," responded Josie breathlessly, grinning like mad.
"At night?"
"No school, no work for us tomorrow; why not?"
They decided to picnic on top of a large hill with a tree at the very top. The moon was in first quarter that night and it glowed brightly in the sky. At first Remus was angry at his parents; did they have to eat where he could see his foe shine up the night, reminding him in six days he'd be a monster?
Ferdinand held out the thesaurus as he set down the picnic basket. Then, looking toward the moon he smiled and said, "Tell it what you think of it; of what it does. There's no one for at least a mile. Scream at it, tell it how you feel; then when you're ready we can eat." Josephine nodded in agreement.
"What? Why would I do that? It's stupid! Asinine! The bloody idiotic moon can't hear me! Never hears me cry when I transform anyways. Why would it listen now?"
"Try it. It'll help, I promise you."
And he did; he let out every swear word he knew.
"You're stupid and cruel and never seem to care about the people's lives you ruin. You give power to evil people like... like... like Gre- the man who hurt me, and take it 'way from others. You cause me to miss school at least three days a month. You're a bloody arsehole and..."
These were quickly exhausted and he started to get frustrated, but instead of going on a rampage, he flipped open the thesaurus and shouted out new words, different words, stronger words that expressed what he meant.
"You're sadistic and ignorant of the pain you cause me and my parents and anyone else like me. You make me change into a violent creature; make me want to hurt people and when I can't, make me nearly kill myself trying; you leave marks all over me. Make people hate me because of what I am. You're a fucking piece of G-ddamned rock, why is it you should have so much power and I so little? It's not bloody fair," tears began to stream down Remus' face, "The Muggles are talking about it like landing you is the most amazing thing ever. Bet you if Armstrong or one of them saw what you did to me every single bloody month without fucking fail, they wouldn't think landing on you was the prize they think it is now. Seeing your power making me tear myself out of my skin, making my bones bend about however you want them to; one time making me nearly rip out my stomach. It's like a game to you. I bet you they'd hate you as much as I G-ddammed do. You wouldn't take that bet though, because you know I'm right-."
Words just kept spilling from his lips. It felt like days that he was yelling but it had probably been only an hour. He finally became hoarse and fell to his knees in tears. His father pulled him into his lap gently, hugging his son tight. Remus didn't protest.
"Sip some water; I'll fix you a plate." His mother whispered fixing a piece of his hair that had twisted the wrong way. "Relax, you let it all go. You're the one with the power now, Re."
The next full moon went smoothly. Only a few new cuts and bruises on his small body; only one of them scarred. It had been cathartic, a new word he learned from his thesaurus meaning about the same as invigorating; to scream at the moon. He was fairly certain the wolf had less influence on him now when the moon wasn't full. Remus' violent outbursts became less and less until finally they almost disappeared. He kept his emotions more in check; he was safer for others to be around, which made him happy; or less sad, at least. He was finally in control. And all it took, as his parents would tease him about later, was a little howling at the moon.