Disclaimer: I do not own Severus or Ginny or anything else from Harry Potter. If I did, I certainly wouldn't be writing fanfics, I'd be making money off of spin offs! Speaking of making money, I don't… not off this drabble anyway.
Warnings: Language. HBP spoilers. Drug and alcohol abuse mentioned. Sexual encounters mentioned (no detail though… I know that's what you were hoping for, but not in this one).
A/N: Italicized blocks of quotes ("Example") are lyrics are from Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved"; all plain italicized blocks of text are flashbacks (Example). This is my first song fic and my first one shot, please read and review. I'm curious whether I should do more one shots and song fics or not.
She Will Be Loved
"Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else"
The war was hard, but surviving was harder. Ginny Weasley felt as if she had lost everything – she hadn't, but she was damn close. Ron, Charlie, and Percy were gone now, as were Dumbledore, Lupin, Tonks, the list went on and on. Harry had left too; he withdrew from her company, taking what remained of her battered heart with her.
Her London flat was small and nondescript; there were hotel rooms larger than it. Everything was so faded, shades of white and off-white, pastels. Only a large bookshelf contrasted this watercolor existence; its heavy dark cherry construction held volumes of masterful brilliance – hues of red, blue, purple, green, and brown, typified her collection of Muggle literature and reference books. They were rarely used, a fact displayed by the thick layer of dust covering it. This place wasn't special to her, it wasn't the Burrow, and that's why she liked it; the Burrow was too quiet, and held too many memories.
Ginny pushed her way through the crowd to the bar. The bodies were oppressive, but she liked it that way among Muggles. The poor idiots had no idea the war had happened; they had no reason to stare at her, she was an anonymous sad face in the crowd, not Harry Potter's well used and discarded lover, not the sister of the Death Eater inside the Ministry, not the Order member who risked everything to bed Severus Snape to get information, not the girl who dealt the weakening blow to Voldemort that allowed Harry Potter to destroy the final Horcrux; she was not Ginny Weasley.
"What can I get for you?" the bar tender asked.
"Screwdriver," she requested. She forked over the money, then eagerly downed the orange juice – vodka combination. The acid of the orange juice ate away at the lining of her esophagus and made her stomach churn; the smooth liquid of the vodka ate away at the pain lining her soul and made her heart disintegrate.
The loud thumping bass playing in the club assaulted her ears and drowned out memories death, of charred flesh, of screams of anguish. She downed as many purple pills as she did screwdrivers (Five? Six? She lost count.); ecstasy, Muggles called it. It barely made her tingle.
She was dancing, then - body undulating, sweat pouring out of her, heart pounding. It didn't make her feel alive, it made her feel more dead.
She staggered from the club into the fresh air, rounding the corner on the way to her flat her stomach began to empty itself of its contents.
"Fancy seeing you here, like this… again," came a silky, dark baritone.
She turned in direction the voice came from. "Damn you, Snape. Go to hell," her words were slurred and held much less emotion than she meant.
"Come on, Ginny," he said wrapping his arms around her shoulders to steady her.
"Don't touch me, fucking traitor."
"I'm not a traitor. You were there… you saw… you know."
"You killed Dumbledore. Even if you weren't a Death Eater, you betrayed Hogwarts; you betrayed your students; you betrayed me."
"We weren't together, then, Gin. You were with Potter at the time, I believe. How could I have betrayed you?" He sighed, tired of their nightly routine. Now he would help her back to her flat, force feed her Dreamless Sleep and stay awake all night watching and waiting.
He sat next to her bed and watched her sleep. Memories assaulted him.
There was a knock on the door of his office. "Come in," he called. The door opened and in sauntered Ginny Weasley, fifth year Gryffindor, one of his best students, both in Potions and Defense. "Ms. Weasley. To what do I owe this untimely visit?" he asked, punctuating the statement with his best sneer.
"I think someone is trying to kill Dumbledore."
His hear skipped a beat. How could she know? "And what makes you think that?"
"The attacks on Katie and Ron; they were accidental targets…" she said. She began to spill her entire theory.
How could he have told her that night that Dumbledore already knew Draco was trying to kill him? How could he have told her that Dumbledore insist that he do it instead? He still didn't understand why Dumbledore thought Draco was worth saving. Dumbledore called him an innocent; how the man couldn't see that Draco would make a better Death Eater than his father ever had, he would never know.
There was a knock on his door at Spinner's End; he opened it cautiously, wand drawn, to find himself staring at Ginny Weasley. "What the hell do you want?"
In the back of his mind, he knew she was sent by the Order; he knew Dumbledore hadn't shared the full extent of his plan. Was she there to kill him? Surely, they wouldn't be that foolish.
"I'm here to see you, Severus."
"Why?" he fought the urge to deduct 20 house points and remind her to call him Professor Snape.
"Because I wanted to."
He reluctantly let her in.
He didn't sleep with her that night or the next, or even the next, not for her lack of trying. He couldn't believe that she wanted him; he couldn't believe that Weasley would consent to sending his daughter in as a spy to sleep with the enemy, or that Potter would consent to prostituting his girlfriend just to get information about the Dark Lord – he still didn't know if either of them knew what she was doing. But still, he was a man, and Ginny Weasley was a beautiful young woman, who instinctively knew how to get under his skin and drive him crazy.
"Avada Kedavra," he heard Ginny's strong voice. He turned to see her target just in time – Voldemort.
The curse hit with horrifying accuracy, but the Dark Lord did not fall. Harry had not destroyed the final Horcrux.
Voldemort turned on Ginny, "Foolish girl," he said simply, raising his wand.
Severus cast a nonverbal expelliarmus on Voldemort before he had time to think; Harry Potter destroyed the final Horcrux.
The members of the Order were shocked when, during the final battle, Severus had turned on his "fellow" Death Eaters and began hexing them into oblivion. He was shocked that the rest of the Order believed that he was stupid enough to pass on the kind of information that he was passing to Ginny, without realizing they were hearing every bit of it.
The sun rose too soon. Severus never managed to finish his reverie, before he exited her flat, leaving her alone to live her menial existence in the day and to attempt to poison her body at night.
"I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved"
At home alone, Severus lay in his all too empty bed, wishing for sleep, but suffering as only a man who remembers too much can suffer.
Two months after the final battle, he saw Ginny in London. It seemed she was directing a moving crew into a flat. He frowned as he watched her. The many nights they spent together flooded his mind. He made his way back home quickly.
The internal battle lasted only a few hours. He didn't want to disturb her, but he wanted to see her again. His desire won the battle. He knocked lightly on the door to the flat he had seen her entering. She flung the door open carelessly; her skin glowed and her mouth was upturned from joyous laughter. The smile faded into a tense frown.
"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked hatefully.
"I saw you moving and I…could we talk Ginerva?"
"We have nothing to talk about."
"Who's that, Ginny?" said a man from within the flat. A hand appeared and opened the door wider, before settling around Ginny on her hip.
"Potter… I should have known. Sorry to bother you two."
"What did he want?" he heard Potter ask as he left.
"My guess? The greasy git was stupid enough to think I actually wanted to shag him," she said in mock disgust. He heard something else in her voice: regret mixed with… desire?
The first night he found her drunk outside of the horrid Muggle club and he took her back to her flat, she poured her heart out to him. Harry had left her, she felt so alone. She wanted him, or so she said. When they awoke the next morning she nearly beat him to death with a pillow, but that didn't hurt as much as the accusations she flung at him. He vowed never to touch her again unless she was sober – that didn't happen very often.
Every night he found himself outside of the club, waiting. Every night it got worse – more drugs, more alcohol. He tried talking to her, but it didn't help. Damn stubborn Weasley insisted she had no problem.
He awoke from a restless sleep just as the sun was setting – time for a shower and breakfast – or dinner depending on how you looked at it. He still had three hours before Ginny would even emerge from the club
"Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise, it moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You come anytime you want
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls"
Severus jumped at the knock at his door; he was not expecting visitors. He opened the door cautiously, years as a spy tempering his movements. His heart jumped when he saw Ginny.
"Gin, I didn't expect to see you."
"Neither did I," she said emotionlessly.
"Come in," he said opening the door wider. She entered quickly, crossed the room, and sat in a wingback chair facing the empty fireplace. Severus sat beside her. The silence was thick in the room.
"Why do you insist on rescuing me every night?"
"I want you to realize that you aren't alone in this world, Gin, that someone cares about you."
"I am alone, Severus, even when I'm with other people. Can't you see that?" her brown eyes were haunted. She looked desperate.
"No. I refuse to. Gin, what about your family? They care for you; I'm sure they'd love to see you."
"Why do you call me that?" She was avoiding his question by asking another. It was her defense tactic. It infuriated him, but he played along.
"What?"
"Gin… it's not my name you know."
"Neither is Ginny," he said softly. "I call you Gin because I find you intoxicating."
She snorted in response. "Yeah right." Silence. Painful silence.
Severus cleared his throat in an attempt to fill the void. "What about Potter?"
"What about him?" she snapped.
"He cared for you."
"Cared… past tense."
"What about me?"
"You? You're a fucking traitor, Severus."
"Not to you. Sure, I betrayed Dumbledore, I betrayed Hogwarts, I betrayed the Order, I betrayed Voldemort, and I betrayed the Death Eaters. I betrayed the whole goddamned world! But you? I'm still loyal to you, Gin."
"Good point," she said softly. "That's more than I can say for Harry, the hero." She sat silently, contemplating. She stood slowly and crossed the room. "Goodbye, Sev," she said kissing him lightly on the cheek.
"Where are you going?"
"Out."
"Ah… see you at the corner then?"
"It's a date."
He waited nervously at the corner for Ginny to appear. She rounded staggering. She wasn't as drunk this time, she didn't vomit. That was an improvement, he supposed. She collapsed against the wall, and in an instant he was there holding her shoulders.
"Don't touch me, you fucking traitor."
"I'm not a traitor. We've settled that, remember?"
"I saw no need to change our routine," she said with a snicker.
He sighed. "Your place or mine?"
"I don't give a damn. Someplace I can sleep."
"Yours is closer."
"Thank you, Sev."
"You're welcome, Gin."
"Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye"
A/N: So what do you think? Good? Bad? Yay? Nay? Please review.