Hank Hill's Humorous Happenstance: Strickland Crusaders!
Prologue.
"Now gosh dangit I'll tell ya what, them Dio's rascals sure are gettin' out'o hand I'll tell ya." Hank Hill exclaimed angrily whilst standing near his compatriots and enjoying his all American beer.
The spectacle which he had been observing was one that filled him with disgust, and he found he could stomach this insolence no longer. The warm summer winds and beating texan sun ensured the day was hot enough as is. This heat was most evident in that even the smallest of flames could now produce greatly visible heat heat waves, this and his observation of smoke rising from distance allowed him to deduce the existence of a nearby barbecue.
A non propane barbeque.
Upon bringing himself to investigate the source of what could be a most heinous violation of neighborly conduct, he bore witness to a testament to the sorry state of humankind.
"John Redcorn! The hell's you doing cooking with charcoal?"
"I am sorry Mr. Hill, but that rascal Giorno Giovanna has absconded with both my propane, and a sacred ceremonial arrow. Please my friends, you must recover that which has been stolen from me."
"Now you listen here, I'm goin' find that Giorno and take back that arrow. And you know what? I think I'll be findin that Giorno's father, teach him a lesson on parenting I'll tell ya."
Hank hill looked back to the horizon, and beheld a bald eagle gliding majestically through the freedom scented American skies. He could not help but feel a burning desire for justice, and this rage boiled forth from somewhere deep within the recesses of his very being. He felt, as a surge from his very soul, the rage of one who had borne the terrible visage of the evil that lurked within the hearts of man.
"How can anyone just mosey on up and steal someone's propane? Leaving someone to cook… to cook with…"
Hank could not easily accept that such evil lurked within the United States of America, yet he knew in his heart that such was the case. But it needn't be so. Hank could fix this. Hank could bear the weight of this world, if it ensured he could cure it. Hank would bear the mantle of saviour, of hero, and of crusader.
"John Redcorn, stand back." Hank warned his neighbor.
Through all the hardships of Hank's all American family man life had instilled in him a passion for justice, and this desire for the betterment of mankind awakened something within him. Pointing forwards with his right hand, covering his face with his left. Fingers spread to allow visibility on his part, he leaned backwards and from his very being a spectral figure, a cross between a human and an exotic propane tank, and immediately in a flash of light the charcoal display had been transformed into a functioning and fully stocked propane grill.
"H-hank! Y-you have done it! My barbeque is saved, thank you my friend!"
"This is what it means to be a true neighbor. Remember my teachings John Redcorn."
From somewhere beyond the hedges a voice called out in a challenging tone.
"So Hank, it would appear that you're ready, but will your performance stand as testament to this truth?"
Hank knew this voice well, and indeed his suspicions were proved correct when his opponent leapt backwards thirty feet into the air. With a flourish of masculine grace, Hank's foe threw both his arms behind his back. As he began to descend he slammed both forwards pointing towards Hank and materialized the same form of construct for himself.
"POCKETO SANDO!"
"H'what!?"
Perfectly executing a quadruple backflip Hank expertly dodged the flurry of razor sand which had closed in upon his prior position, and rushed forth to clash with his foe. Slamming their fist's into one anothers, they were both propelled backwards. The hand of the being Dale Gribble had summoned had torn slightly, and Dale's hand bleed accordingly.
"Well, well, well. It looks like you're ready Hank."
"Dammit Dale! Quit with yer nonsense and explain yourself!"
"I am here to help you Hank. We all are. We've all been wronged by Dio, albeit indirectly in the case of Giorno related occurrences, but that is besides the point! We have assembled here to join forces, and to bring forth the justice America deserves! That being is a manifestation of you fighting spirit Hank. It is your stand!"
"If this path of violence is that which is required to restore peace, then gladly will I walk it. I will embrace it. My stand."
"PROPANE NIGHTMARE!"