Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
This fic is partly based on the manga short Empty Heart by Minase Masara. Thanks to Sakaki-sempai for helping me find the story.
Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto
Warning: Yaoi/Slash/etc.
Rating: T, likely to be M in part deux.
I want him. I want all of his laughs and smiles to belong to me. I want him to be mine, but all his eyes reflect is the image of my brother.
I wish he would only look at me.
X
Peter Pan Syndrome
Veta
X
"I'm home." I slide off my shoes, noting that his shoes are messily strewn to opposite sides of the room. He must have hurried over after seeing Itachi-nii's car.
"Sasuke, we're in the kitchen," Itachi-nii calls. I hate his voice. It's silky and calm, while mine always sounds cold and uncaring. My emotions are readable through my voice, but his never wavers. That way, it's impossible to know what he's thinking.
When I walk into the kitchen, I see him. He's clinging to my brother like a small child, a silly grin plastered on his face. Itachi-nii's lips still hold the hint of a smile, making me wonder what joke I missed. He never smiles when we're alone.
"Hey, Sasuke." He says my name so casually, his twinkling eyes shifting to my direction. I wish I could say his name; make the syllables familiar on my tongue. Instead I nod my head in acknowledgement, feeling my heartbeat quicken at his toothy smile. "How was school? Itachi said that you're the top student in the school again this year."
I pretend not to care, but I secretly wonder if I impress him. Probably not, since Itachi-nii got higher marks when he was in school. "It's no big deal," I mutter, opening the fridge and finding a bag labeled with my name. I look to my brother, surprised when he blushes sheepishly and speaks.
"You always say Itachi's cooking is gross, so I went ahead and made you a sandwich. You like western food, right?" He watches me intently for any sign of a reaction, appearing relieved when I nod, dumbfounded. My brother rolls his eyes, stirring what looks to be curry with a long wooden spoon. He knows that I hate western food, but says nothing. For whatever reason, I wish he would say something. Something that would give me an excuse to blurt my feelings and finally ease the tension in my chest.
"What took you so long, little brother?" Itachi-nii sets the spoon aside, turning around to face me. Instantly, I wish I looked more like him. More mature, less plain. I wish that my eyes weren't so dull; that I wasn't quite so pale. Maybe then he would look at me.
"I had some questions about our mock exam results in one of my classes, so I stayed after class to discuss it with the teacher." I shift the strap of my bag to my shoulder, finally closing the door to the refrigerator after choosing a can of coffee to accompany my dinner. "I'm going to eat in my room since I have a lot of homework to do." I turn after receiving an approving nod, allowing the barest of smiles to grace my lips at the parting words I almost didn't hear.
"See ya around, Sasuke."
I remember the first time we met. It was six years ago, when Itachi-nii was a third-year in high school. They had been partnered together for an out-of-school project, so vital for their passing the class that they would work directly after school until ten o'clock at night every day for two weeks. When Itachi-nii first introduced us, I thought he was nothing more than an idiotic foreigner. Only later did he become the person to breathe life into my barren heart.
xxx
"This is my little brother, Sasuke. Sasuke, this is Uzumaki Naruto. He's sleeping over, so be good, okay?"
I nodded my head obediently, silently scrutinizing the older boy. His hair was wild, bleached from the sun in some areas and dark from lack of attention in others. To heighten my curiosity, his eyes were huge and cerulean, blazing brightly against his sun-kissed skin. Just as I was beginning to wonder if he was a foreign exchange student of some sort, he smiled goofily and spoke to me in fluent Japanese. "Nice to meet ya, Sasuke-kun. Eee, he looks just like you, Itachi. Poor kid, he's going to start getting mauled by girls once he's in junior high."
Itachi-nii only laughed, absently pointing out how women already commented on how adorable I was. I simply stayed silent, admiring Naruto-sempai as he admired my brother.
"Alright.. Sasuke, we're going to be working on a project, so don't interrupt unless it's important. You can make dinner for yourself, right?"
"Sure." I watched them disappear into Itachi-nii's room, whispering and laughing all the way there. The only thing I was left thinking was that this boy, who could make my brother laugh so easily, must really be something.
X
After a week, Naruto-sempai's presence became normal- almost something I looked forward to. He made our home more lively, even managing to bring a smile to my lips more than once. During another night that he was sleeping over, I accidentally burned my hand while boiling water for tea. I couldn't find the ointment, so I went to my brother's room and pushed open the unlocked door without even thinking.
"Nii-" I unconsciously trailed off, staring in confusion at Naruto-sempai. He was leaning over my brother, who looked as though he had already fallen asleep. I felt my breath catching in my throat when Naruto-sempai brushed Itachi-nii's hair aside, tilting his head to capture my brother's still lips. I had quickly exited the room after that, my 11-year-old mind comprehending the situation easily. Naruto-sempai was in love with my brother. The lingering stares, the careless touches and blushing cheeks.. It all clicked.
Even after the project was finished, Naruto-sempai continued coming over. For some reason, I became unable to address him normally, finding that my voice wouldn't come whenever I tried. I found that my feelings for him matured and deepened with time, so much so that I became susceptible to not only his touch, but his very voice. Whenever I caught a glimpse of his bare skin, I wanted to reach my hand forward and touch it. I wanted to feel his skin on mine; I wanted to kiss him as he had kissed my brother. My skin would tingle when we accidentally brushed shoulders, the uncomfortable sensation matching how my face burned whenever he cast his eyes on mine. However, he never looked at me like he did my brother. His eyes didn't light up with glee; his expression didn't brighten from my mere presence.
One day, one day he'll look at me like that. Ever since the night he kissed my brother, I've never ceased waiting for him to look at me with the eyes of a lover.
"Sasuke, are you still awake?"
I open my bedroom door to find Itachi-nii standing alone. He must have already left.
"What do you want?" My voice still sounds harsh and cold. Maybe I want it to sound that way. Maybe I want to see the flicker of hurt that appears in my brother's eyes, simply because he's the one that that person favors.
"I have to talk to you.. Let me in." He perches himself in a chair when I step aside grudgingly, afterwards shutting the door and sitting on my bed. "What is it? I still have homework to do."
Itachi-nii takes a deep breath, and for a moment he almost looks nervous. His hands shift awkwardly in his lap, signaling his discomfort. "What are you doing this weekend?" The words spill out of his mouth quickly, as if he just wants to hurry and get it over with. I eye him in confusion at the sudden question, my curiosity no doubt evident on my features.
"Why do you care?" Ah, there's that voice again. As sharp and rude as a teenager's voice should be.
"Well.." Now he's hesitating, making me even more anxious. What could possibly be important enough to cause my perfect brother to stress?
"There's someone I want you to meet… A girl I want to marry."
…Marry?
"What did you say?"
How can he get married? Doesn't he know how Naruto-sempai feels about him?
"She started working at the firm a little over a year ago. I wanted to wait until you were close to graduation so that I wouldn't have to worry about you living alone when we get married."
Married. I can feel my blood boiling, my nails piercing the skin on my palms as I clench my hands into fists. He's doing this to mock me, isn't he? He knows how I feel about Naruto-sempai and how Naruto-sempai feels about him. He knows and he's still going to marry some stupid whore of a woman.
"..Sasuke? Are you listening?"
"Have you told him?" My question seems to surprise Itachi-nii. Coward. I bet he hasn't. I bet he's just itching for that moment when he gets to see Naruto-sempai's world completely fall apart. Sick, that's what he is. My brother is sick.
"Told who?"
"Who!" My tone is higher than I intended it to be, making Itachi-nii's eyes widen in bewilderment. Why is he playing dumb? He knows why I'm angry.. I know he does!
"Naruto! Have you told Naruto!"
"No.." His expression relaxes, although a brow stays raised in confusion. "Why would I tell Naruto before I even told you?"
Is he really so blind? So ignorant of the tension between the three of us? Doesn't he wonder why he used to wake up from a dream, touching his fingers to his lips because of the lingering heat? Doesn't he feel the jealousy coursing through my veins?
"I'm going drinking next week with a group of friends from high school. I'm telling him and the others then." He stands up, walking over to ruffle my hair. "Guess I gave you quite a shock, huh? I really want you to meet her, Sasuke. Your blessing would mean a lot to me."
Could he really… not have known?
X
"Ehh! So you're Sasuke-kun! My name is Nakamura Shiyomi." I try my best to force a smile, stiffening awkwardly when the woman - Shiyomi-san - embraced me warmly. "Itachi, why didn't you tell me your brother was such a cutie? He looks just like a younger version of you." She lets out a sigh of despair, fanning herself with her hand as she steps back to observe me. "If only I were a few years younger.."
"Shiyomi-san!" Itachi-nii flushes, taking her by the hands to guide her towards him. "Don't say such things," He whispers, his voice barely reaching my ears. I can see her practically melting into my brother's arms, turning bright red after he leans down to murmur something that I'm too far away to hear.
"Now, let's go inside and eat, shall we?" Itachi-nii winks in my direction, causing me to roll my eyes. I follow behind the couple, staring at the back of Shiyomi-san's head. Her hair is long and brown, straight without even the slightest curl. Even from behind any man could appreciate her curves, her pale and shapely legs surely drawing attention as well. When she turns to toss me a smile I note that her eyes are small and black, high cheekbones and a narrow chin making her appear very professional. Thus it hits me:
Shiyomi-san is the complete opposite of Naruto-sempai. His eyes are large and blue, with long eyelashes envied by every woman. While his hair is messy and wild, hers is tame and sleek. Naruto-sempai's face is more wide, cheeks marred by scars or birthmarks- I never took the time to bother asking which. Shiyomi-san is the essence of maturity, while Naruto-sempai is still a child at heart.
If Shiyomi-san is truly the type of person that Itachi-nii likes, then he would never consider having Naruto-sempai as anything more than a friend.
And for some reason, though it breaks my heart to admit it, that thought sends a smile to my lips.
"I'm back, Sasuke." Itachi-nii peeks his head into my room, looking pleasantly buzzed. His cheeks are slightly red in color, a smile stitched onto his lips. "Sorry I'm late. Shiyomi-san ended up coming with us, so I had to take her home before coming back."
Shiyomi-san went? That means Naruto-sempai met her.. Hearing about the marriage would be bad enough, but actually meeting Itachi-nii's fiancé-
"It's fine. I forgot something at a friend's house, so I'm going out." I pull on a coat over my uniform jacket, shuffling past my brother to retrieve my shoes.
"Ehh? Don't stay out too late."
"I'll take my phone, so don't worry." I pat my pocket to make sure my cell phone is still there, afterwards tugging on my shoes and walking out of the door.
X
"Coming!"
I blow onto my hands, wishing I'd brought mittens. The weather has been nicer since March came, but the nights are still dreadfully cold.
"Ah, hell-… Sasuke? Why are you here?" Naruto-sempai blinks in surprise, lowering his hand from the doorknob. A can of beer dangles from his fingertips, the tab still closed.
"No reason." I step inside, slipping off my shoes. I haven't been to Naruto-sempai's apartment in a while. For the most part, it's fairly tidy, considering he's a single guy living alone. "You went drinking with Itachi-nii tonight, right? He told me Shiyomi-san went along, too." I watch him idly, pulling off my coat and hanging it on the rack. His face contorted slightly at the mention of my brother, jaw clenching at Shiyomi-san's name.
"Yeah.. She seems nice," He mutters, shutting the door and opening the can. His lips curve into a fake smile, making me frown. I don't like when he pretends to be happy. "Is that really what you think?"
"Eh?" Naruto-sempai gives me a puzzled look, reaching back to scratch his head. "Well, yeah.. We didn't talk for long, but I'm sure she'll keep Itachi in check." He chuckles softly, but there's no feeling behind it. It's hollow, just like his eyes.
"Naruto-sempai.." He shifts uncomfortably as I move closer, his eyes glued to my face.
He looks just like a younger version of you.
I inwardly smirk, and before I know what I'm doing, my hand is reaching up to touch Naruto-sempai's cheek. He doesn't move away; instead, his eyes widen at my touch. "Sasuke, what-"
"You love my brother, don't you?"
The can of beer that he had just opened drops to the floor, leaking all over the hardwood flooring. Naruto-sempai doesn't even seem to notice, his mouth hanging open from my question- no, statement. It's a fact that he loves my brother.
"..What?"
"You love Itachi-nii."
"Sasuke.." Naruto-sempai laughs awkwardly, finally bending down to pick up the fallen drink before its contents completely spilled from the can. "What are you talking about? Your brother and I are just friends."
He straightens back up, apparently recovered from the shock of my sudden outburst. However, I doubt that he was very prepared for when I stepped forward and kissed him, for I know I myself was not prepared in the least.
"You wanted him to kiss you like that, right?" I gaze into his round, azure eyes, not needing to hear the answer. He tastes like beer, the flavor leaving a pleasant tingle on my tongue. Naruto-sempai presses his hand to his mouth, lowering it after a moment as his lips parted. "Sasuke.."
Eee, he looks just like you, Itachi.
"I look like Itachi-nii, right?" I brush my nose against Naruto-sempai's, trailing my fingers along his jaw. His skin is soft and smooth to the touch, the opposite of its appearance. I'm not sure my brain is even comprehending what I'm doing at the moment, for my hands and mouth seem to be moving of their own accord.
"It's okay.. You can call me Itachi for tonight." I lower my mouth to his again, my heartbeat rapidly increasing as he finally moves his lips against mine. I capture and recapture his lips again and again, pressing our bodies closer when he fists his hand in my exposed shirt.
"Naruto, Naruto, Naruto.." His name is like a sin, giving me what I want but what I know I shouldn't have.
And then comes the real sin.
"Itachi.."
Author's Note: Shoot. This was supposed to be a oneshot, but now it looks like it's going to turn into a two-part story. Sorry. After this is finished I'll update Neji Hime. Promise!
R&R, and I will forever love you.