This is my first fanfiction, so bear with me as I get the flow of my writing down. I hope you enjoy this first chapter and crave many more!
Without further ado, I bring you, Sandcastles.
I do not own any of Stephenie Meyer's characters or anything relating to Twilight.
Chapter 1: Leaving Home
I had this picture in my head
Of where I oughta be and when
But it's just like the good advice that John gave when he said,
"Life, it happens while we're busy making plans"
"You're listening to 101.5 The River with Rick and Mary Beth on this early March morning. Coming up after the commercial is Taylor Swift's newest single."
It's absolutely freezing. Literally. I was cleaning the snow off my car and my eyelashes started sticking together. It should be illegal to be outside when the temperature is ohh, 5°F…with a wind chill that puts it at -20°F!
The drive from my house to the hospital is so short that my car doesn't even have time to warm up before I pull in the parking lot. Alas, I go from the freezing outdoors, to my freezing car, back to the freezing outdoors. This is why I walk as fast as my Danskos allow me and book it into St. Timothy's. All while I juggle my suitcase of a purse and lunch bag.
The blast of heat on my face as soon as the doors slide open is so welcome I contemplate just standing there for a good 20 minutes..or at least until the feeling in my legs comes back. While scrub pants are the some of the comfiest pants I own, next to leggings of course, they certainly were not built for warmth in brutal Ohio winters.
The vibration of my cell phone in my pocket brings me back to reality. Not expecting my car to be covered in snow when I woke up put me at a disadvantage this morning. Since I'm gonna be late if don't move it, I start jogging down the hall to the elevators. Sliding in, I slam my hand against the number 2 and punch the "Close Doors" button until the doors finally begin closing. It takes a whopping 3 seconds to get to the second floor.
Exiting the elevator I pull out my ID badge and slap it against the ID pad on the wall allowing me access into the Intensive Care Unit. I take a right as soon as the access doors open and push right into the locker room where I proceed to throw my lunch in the fridge and coat and purse in my locker. Grabbing my stethoscope, ID badge, and pen I head out to the nurses station where morning report has already started. Grabbing the assignment sheet I scroll down until I find my name - which is nowhere to be seen. It's early and I'm tired. So I begin tracing down the list of names with my finger once again, until I hear my name.
"Bella!" I swing around and am met with our charge nurse, Samantha.
"Bella, you aren't working today."
Excuse me? "Yeah…I am," I respond giving her a quizzical look.
"No, our census is low. The nursing office was supposed to call you off."
Sonofabitch. "Seriously?" There's no need to roll my eyes. Not just yet.
"Yeah, sorry. I guess they never got around to it.." she trails off with a pitiful look on her perfect face.
"Hey at least you get to leave and don't have to work today like the rest of us!" she exclaims. Trying my make my shitty situation seem somewhat appealing I'm sure.
With an eye roll and one last glare, I whip around and head back to the locker room without so much as a hello or goodbye to the other nurses. Yanking open the refrigerator I grab my lunch bag before heading to my locker. Still frustrated, it takes me three tries before I'm successful with my lock combination. Throwing the door open I grab my coat and purse and slam the locker door shut again. Once I've put my stethoscope back into my purse and have my coat zipped up, I head out of the locker room.
Taking a left and pushing through the ICU access doors, I'm practically running to the bank of elevators. Unwilling to wait for the elevator, I head for the steps instead. Clomping down the stairs in my clogs, I'm met with the lonely echo of my steps. And it hits me so suddenly, that I have to grab onto the railing for fear of my knees buckling under. I've been looking for a sign for months and just maybe, this is it.
"I'm telling you Ang, I can't do it anymore," I murmur before taking a gulp of my Coors Light.
"Bella, so what they didn't call you off work. Is it really that big of a deal?"
Looking up from my beer, I'm met with questioning brown eyes. Most of the time, Angela placates my whining. But this time, I'm not whining. And if I am it's at least not on purpose.
"Angie, it's not about that. Well it is, but that's not all of it. I'm over not knowing what I'm doing with my life. I feel so lost here." I must whisper that last part because I see Angela straining her neck to hear me.
"Bella –" she begins before I cut her off.
"You're married, and… we're just at two different points in our life right now. You're looking to start a family, while I'm still searching for what the hell I'm doing with my life. Yes, I have a job. Yes, my school loans are paid off. Yes, I have a great family. I know exactly just how lucky I am. I know that. But it just doesn't feel like any of it is enough anymore.." I trail off.
Angie just stares at me. The only emotion I can read on her face is pity. The exact response I'm NOT looking for.
"Bella, I had no idea you were so unhappy. I'm sorry I didn't notice. Why didn't you say anything sooner?"
Sighing, "Because I was hoping I would just snap out of it. I felt a bit selfish to want happiness along with everything else I had going for me."
Shaking her head side to side Angie says something that shakes me to my very core.
"Bella, it is never selfish to want happiness. For the past few years, you haven't had that same sparkle in your eye nor has your laugh been as hearty. At first I thought it was just the stress of nursing school. Then you graduated, passed your boards and got a job. For a few months there, I thought you were getting back in your groove. Then time passed and the sparkle started dulling again. I think in the back of my mind I knew you weren't happy and chose to overlook it because I had my wedding to think about. I wasn't being the kind of friend you needed. And I'm sorry it took you telling me you aren't happy for me to realize it."
Biting back a sob, I get up from my chair and reach out to pull Angie into a hug. We're both holding on for dear life, like we might just slip away right then and there. And I think that's when we both realize, for me to find the happiness that is eluding me, I need to go to the place where the supply was never ending.
Hearing the front door slam shut, I know my dad is home from work- earlier than normal. The murmurs from downstairs let me know that he has headed to the kitchen where my mom is preparing dinner. It's now or never I suppose. Time to tell them I've quit my job. With a deep sigh, I stand up from my bed and crack my back. I don't know why I'm so nervous. I'm an adult for Christ sakes! Yes, an adult who still lives at home in the same bedroom she grew up in, but I'm an adult nonetheless and I can make my own choices. With one last sigh I head down the stairs.
"Hi dad, how was work?"
Turning around my dad greets me with a smile. "Hey Bells, work was alright. I'm just glad I'm home in time to eat dinner with two of my favorite girls."
With a chuckle I pass by him as he heads up the stairs to change out of his uniform.
"Mom, do you need any help with dinner?" I ask as I grab a crouton from the salad she's prepared and pop it in my mouth.
Caught red handed, she smacks my hand away preventing me from getting anymore croutons.
"As a matter of fact I do. You can set the table and fill the pitcher with water and lemon slices. Oh, and take the salad out to the table once it's set."
Just as I'm finishing up setting the table, dad walks into the dining room and takes a seat at the head of the table.
"How's work been going, Bells?" he asks as I place the salad on the table.
Choosing to ignore his question for the moment I make a beeline to the bathroom. After splashing cold water on my face and giving myself a few minutes I head back to the dining room.
"Bells?" my dad asks giving me a strange look.
"Um.. works been fi – actually I need to talk to you guys about something." I speak so softly I'm unsure of whether I actually said it out loud or not.
My mother pausing at the doorway answers my question of whether or not I said it out loud. With meatloaf in one hand and potatoes in the other, my mother glances at my father, then turns to me.
"What's going on, Bella?"
To give myself something to do, I take both dishes from her hand and place them on the table. With my back turned to both of them, I quietly say, "I quit my job."
For the first few seconds I hear nothing. Then, I hear my father.
"What do you mean you quit your job?"
His voice is so calm I'm scared to turn around and face him. But, I've got to stand my ground. Keeping my head down, I turn around until I'm facing both my parents. Glancing up, I'm met with surprised looks, instead of the ones I was expecting – angry.
"My last day was yesterday. I didn't want to tell you until I knew I was for sure quitting. And then all of a sudden yesterday was my last day and I still hadn't told you."
"But why, Bella? I thought you were happy at St. Timothy's?" questioned my mother who had finally moved from the doorway and taken a seat at the table.
Still standing and with a voice on the verge of cracking, "I'm unhappy with everything. And I've never felt more selfish than I do right now, but I just know that this is something I need to do for me. And I'm gonna need your support more than I've ever needed it in my life."
Within seconds my mother had wrapped me in her arms rocking me from side to side while rubbing her hand on my back in a soothing manner that quickly reminded me of my childhood. Whenever I was upset or sick, a good hug from mom was the cure for everything.
Never a man of many words, my dad stood up and wrapped both of us in his arms.
"You always have our support, Bella. All your mom and I ever wanted for you and Jessica was happiness. Whatever you need to do, we support you and we love you."
Slamming the trunk to my black Toyota Rav4, I walk back up the steps to hug my mom and dad goodbye.
With tears pricking my eyes I hug them both for the last time. Letting go, I step back, and struggle to say goodbye.
"Thank you for supporting my decision. I wouldn't have the strength to do this without you."
With a sob, my mom whispers, "Oh baby. Your father and I will always support you. You're our little girl and while it's heartbreaking to see you leave, we both know you need to do this. Our brave daughter who is embarking on this amazing journey all by herself - we're so, so proud of you."
With tears streaking down my face, I grab them both for one last hug.
"I love you both so much," I sob.
"We love you too, Bells," I hear my dad say with a crack in his voice.
"Don't forget, you can always come home."
"Thanks, Dad," I smile at him as a lone tear rolls down my cheek.
Afraid I'll never leave if I don't get going, I jog down the steps to my car. Turning around one last time, I face my childhood home and parents. With one last wave I get in my car. Backing out of the drive-way, I give them both a couple honks and head down my street one last time.
Hooking up my GPS and turning on some Taylor Swift, I head for the expressway.
Oak Island, North Carolina here I come.
Where I'm laughing is where I'm home
But you know how fast it makes the time go
And there was nothing like the first time that I saw open road
And I wasn't terrified to ride it on my own
We'll meet Edward next chapter!
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See you next chapter!
xoxo, E