Disclaimer: I am (obviously) not our beloved creator of the HP world, that is still our lovely Mrs. Rowling! Also this song belongs to The Rocket Summer and not myself! Brilliant band! Once again, I don't own anything and all rights go to them! Oh one last thing- I used a line from Beauty & the Beast… well, a variation of it. You'll know it when you see it.

Hey! I've had this idea for a while, and here it is! Much editing and reviewing has been done, but if you see anything please let me know! I'm new to ff, so any help is much obliged. This is my very first fanfiction,so please give your honest opinion on everything from title to summary to actual story. I'd love to hear your ideas and I'll try to answer any questions. Constructive criticism and not just how much you hate it please! I take requests/prompts too (first reviewer can tell me what they'd like to see next and I'll do my best)! Thanks a ton! Now without further ado, the story!

Prompt: write a story about someone needing to be saved (rhetorically or literary)

Song: Save by The Rocket Summer

Ship: Unrequited Remus x Lily

The hugs. The cheek kisses. The comforting hands that always somehow found his shoulder. None of it was actually felt. Of course he knew it was there and could acknowledge it, but Remus Lupin couldn't really feel the support. The hands felt more like ghosts, flitting from arms to shoulders to cheeks- everywhere and yet not there at all. He knew what was going on, but in reality he couldn't feel it. Remus was just a boy after all, when the incident happened, but he clearly remembered not being able to feel it at all. Everyone sympathised with him- everyone except one.

His father couldn't even hold five-year old Remus' hand- and Remus could remember the hurt that had flooded through him that day. Why wouldn't Daddy look at him? Why wouldn't Daddy hug him? Why wouldn't Daddy tell him that everything would be okay? Looking back, Remus realised it was because it wouldn't be okay. And never again had he truly felt when anyone touched him. No emotion, no comfort or support- he couldn't even feel the warmth that accompanied every human flesh. He felt a ghost of pressure, but that was all he could ever feel.

When Remus was younger, he had made all sorts of plans. To start, like any other little boy who didn't know the magical world as well as the muggle world, Remus dreamed of being a police office. Then a fire-fighter. Then an auror. Then a detective. Then a Quiditch player. Then a doctor. As Remus was more and more introduced to the Wizarding World, he learnt that the world knew a monster in any form, whether it be an eight year old child or a dementor from Azkaban. His hatred only grew for this world, for it had shut it's doors to him before giving him a chance. When Remus turned ten, he decided that he could never be anything, because who would want a werewolf working for them? Very bad for business. And so ten year old Remus resigned himself to a world not of hate but of self-loathing.

One day, Remus received a letter from someplace called Hogwarts telling him that special efforts were being made so he could attend. Remus thought that they must have been confused, because eleven year Remus knew they wouldn't want a werewolf. He could never enjoy himself at such a place, that much he knew, and they would regret taking him in after a month. After all, how could that place be good if upon reading the letter his dear mother began to cry? No- this place must be terrible. But Remus' father sat him down and explained that Remus needed this opportunity if he was to make money in his future. But Remus didn't understand- he knew even if he could make any money, it wouldn't be much. After all- a werewolf shouldn't even have a job.

The last thing Remus had wanted to do was go to that school, but his parents would not be swayed on the matter. Their child needed this, and they were eternally grateful to the Headmaster for giving their child this opportunity and would make the most of it. Remus would later admit it was a blessing- even if his eleven year old self couldn't see it. Yet what had truly made him go to this school without much of a fight, was that soon after receiving the letter, his mother passed. His mother, Hope Lupin, had been a Ravenclaw. His beautiful, smart, kind, compassionate mother had been there, and Remus could imagine himself growing to be like his mother in the halls of this magical school. He could make his father proud, and make his mother smile from wherever she was. Even though he was a werewolf...

As loving teary eyed parents waved goodbye to their privileged children, Remus made his way through the crowds to the train. He planned to board early, so his presence wouldn't be forced upon any of his future peers. He was the only one there who didn't have his parents (or rather, parent) by their side, gazing proudly as their child boarded a train to take them to a special school. Remus' father hadn't come in with him. He never told Remus why, but it didn't take a genius to realise his father didn't want to give the Headmaster an opportunity to refuse him. There was love everywhere, and none of it would ever- could ever- be directed for him. He took the opportunity to watch them- and he imagined the smiling woman with blonde hair and the man with messy black hair was smiling and waving at him. He imagined that the older couple nearby were his grandparents who had come to support him in any way they could. The little girl running to give someone an owl through the window was actually his younger sister. They all passed by him without a second glance, but that was okay by Remus because -even if it was just a moment of imagination- he felt content.

A tall, dark-haired, sinister looking man jostled Remus and sneered as Remus got up from the ground. There was a small boy following the man who looked at Remus in shock- not that Remus would know as his eyes were glued firmly to the ground.

"Watch where you're going!" The man exclaimed haughtily.

"You were the one who knocked into him, Father." The gangly boy responded...definately? Honestly? Either way, it seemed suicidally. The tall man drew himself up with rage covering his hideous features.

"Why how dare you?" The man began.

"Sorry Sir!" Remus piped up. He spared a hurried glance at who appeared to be the man's son, before hastily boarding the train. Once he reached an empty compartment, he sunk down gratefully, and basked in the ugly silence that had accompanied the closed door compartment. He leant forwards, resting his brow upon his interlocked fingers. Remus knew everyone had someone, and that's what he wanted. Sure that father-and-son duo didn't seem to see eye to eye, but at least the boy had someone there for him. The sound of the train emitting a high pitched whistle interrupted his thoughts, and Remus resigned himself to looking out the window to pass the time.

How selfish! How awful! Remus Lupin didn't know too much yet, but he knew he shouldn't be dreaming about a family when he had his own. After all, his parents could have thrown him out of the house once he became a werewolf. They hadn't and he was most grateful, these people who still let a monster sleep in the same house as them must be saints. But he still felt that he wasn't loved as he had read little boys were supposed to be. His mother (when alive) had never made him and his friends chocolate chip cookies- he didn't even have friends! His father had never taken his son fishing or played catch in the backyard like a father was supposed to do. He knew he shouldn't complain but Remus still wanted what he could never have. Love. After all- who would ever learn to love a werewolf?

Remus sighed quietly, shifting ever so slightly, the compartment seat groaning in protest. He had tried so hard to make the best of this situation, but to no avail. He was so scared that he'd hurt someone...kill them... or worse- infect them. He knew he couldn't live with himself if that ever happened.

Remus Lupin filled the silence that accompanied him with plans. Foolish plans- more like unrealistic daydreams, but if he was already pretending he could at least pretend he was pretending plans. He filled his head with thought of other little boys his age asking to partner in Potions class, or for homework help, or his professors calling on him in class. As he was "planning" already, he might as well plan to answer the question right. A noise startled him out of his daydream… but this noise felt like a daydream itself: it was the sound of the compartment door opening. The compartment door slid open with a resounding click and the boy from the station popped his head in.

"Do you mind?" he asked, gesturing to the empty seat across from me. This moment would be the first of many that happened during Remus' time at school, however right now it was foreign to him. That moment was a moment of surprised joy. So he took a deep, shaking breath, and his next words would plunge him into a world of family, trust, betrayal, brotherhood, friendship and love. And those words (along with a slight smile) were: "Not at all."

Every time he thought of it, Remus' father reminded him not to get too close to people. After all, a werewolf can only pretend to be normal for so long… But right now, Remus just wanted everything that this new world had to offer. And maybe it had to offer friendship. Even if it meant this new boy learning his secret and Remus losing his friendship, Remus would risk it. Because what's life without a little risk? He would never admit to his father that he thought that, but these feelings of hope had accrued deep inside him, and dare he say he was happy to finally have a chance? But there was so much wrong with this situation- this (probably pureblood) rich boy wouldn't -couldn't- be friends with a poor, half blood werewolf! And yet did it make Remus a bad person for wanting to feel happiness anyways?

Remus took a deep breath as the boy happily smiled and sat down across from him, the compartment door closing behind him.

"Sirius Black!" The boy introduced himself, hand extended.

"Pleasure." Remus said, taking the boy's hand in his own.

"Remus. Remus Lupin." The boy had silky black hair and piercing grey eyes. Could he actually do it? Could Remus Lupin actually be friends with this boy? No! He chastised himself. I'm putting him in danger just by being here. But maybe, Remus could pretend...

"Oi! Get out of here!" A boy said, after popping open the compartment door. He had impossibly messy hair, and a thin frame.

"Excuse me?" Sirius asked, raising a thin black eyebrow.

"You heard me- get out! This is my compartment! I just left momentarily to find the food trolley!" Sirius looked to Remus to confirm this, but his throat felt dry. He shook my head slightly and Sirius opened his mouth to tell the boy off, but Remus spoke up.

"I'm-I'm sorry, but I've been here since before the train left and you weren't here. You're more than welcome to join us though?" he blurted out as quickly as he could.

"Join you? I think not." he said with a sniff, muttering to himself, leaving the two boys back to their previous conversation about the Hogwarts Houses.

"Gryffindor!" A collective gasp rang from the hall as the hat was removed from atop a pile of raven locks. The boy stood up proudly and made his way towards the table, the applause second only to the whispers that echoed throughout the halls.

"A Black! In Gryffindor?"

"Impossible!"

"There must be some mistake!"

Remus turned to the boy next to him. He had dark raven hair which his fingers nervously flitted through every few minutes, making it impossibly messy. He had glasses that were slightly too big for his pointed face, and chestnut brown eyes. He recognized him to be the boy who had rudely demande them to leave their own compartment, his arrogant smirk still hadn't left.

"What's wrong with having a Black in Gryffindor?" Remus tentatively asked the boy.

"'What's wrong?' WHAT'S WRONG? I'll tell you what's wrong!" he declared loudly. With several resounding sighs and inaudible eye rolls, everyone knew that it would be better to just wait this out.

"What's wrong with this is-"

"There's nothing wrong with this. It's actually quite great. The Black family has been known for always being in Slytherin house and practicing very dark magic. It's a refreshing change, as most of the family has gone quite mental from the inbreeding." A redheaded female to his left said. He smiled appreciatively at her while the boy scowled at her. She ignored him and raised a hand to Remus.

"Lily Evans." This girl had beautiful emerald eyes and her hair was quite the colour.

"I'm Remus Lupin." She gave him a brilliant smile and tucked a loose strand of auburn behind her ear.

"And I'm James. James Potter. My dad's Head Auror at the Ministry of Magic!" the boy with glasses butted in. Lily rolled her remarkable eyes at the boy and turned back to the front of the room to await sorting.

"Great." I echoed her previous words. His family? All of them evil wizards and yet this boy who had smiled and chit chat idly and kindly had sat with him throughout the duration of his train ride was part of said family?

"Aubrey, Bertram?" Without much debate, the Hat decided that this boy would be a successful Ravenclaw.

"Bones, Edgar?" The Professors strong voice rang out. A small boy shuffled forward with brown hair and a nervous, albite excited smile.

"Hufflepuff!" the Sorting Hat declared to the school. There was polite applause from the school, many other first years lost in thought.

"Pettigrew, Peter?" A long, pregnant silence came from the sorting stool. Remus hoped he wouldn't be as hard to sort.

"Gryffindor!"

"Lupin, Remus?"

'Hmmm' the hat's thoughts echoed in Remus' mind. 'where to put you. You have talent, oh yes. And so much intelligence! You could be a brilliant Ravenclaw, no doubt about that. But I see a thirst inside you, Remus. A burning fire to prove that you are worthy of you magic, even with your...furry little problem. So perhaps Slytherin?

Not Slytherin, 'eh? You could be great! You could prove to them. Show them all wrong, even your father? Ah well. Ravenclaw, you say? Yes- intelligent, and a drive to learn. But you are very brave Remus, the question is: are you brave enough? You defied your father, you came to a place where you were afraid to be, where your very existence could be rejected, you dared to dream... Yes Remus, I'd say you're very brave. I'd you say you could truly reach your potential as a...'

"Gryffindor!" The applause fell upon deaf ears as Remus stood up from his seat and walked on unsteady legs towards a table of smiling faces. Where the brave of heart dwel. Remus didn't feel brave. He had failed. He had been accepted to this school, but upon minutes of entering, he had failed his mother. He did his best not to to show his upset, and slunk onto the bench, ignoring his grinning housemates.

Later that month...

He wanted to surrender. This had been the worst full moon in so long, and he hurt so much. He wanted to give in; give in to the pain, give in to death, give in to the wolf, and just give in. So why hadn't he? The chaos that threatened to control his mind once a month had subsided dramatically, yet he still trembled in fear. He pulled the blankets that were wrapped around his hospital gown-clad body closer, blocking out the thoughts. He was struck with a sudden thought, just as he drifted into unconsciousness. For the first time in a long time, Remus didn't want to give up. If that meant not giving in, then that was fine, but he wouldn't give up. Not when so much was being risked for him to be here. He couldn't afford to give up now.

Remus walked slowly to his dorm. He was civil with his three other roommates, but he still liked to hide in the Library whenever he could; the more distance between himself and his roommates made it harder for them to discover his secret. Sirius and James had become quite close, and though only two weeks in, the pair had racked up eight detentions apiece. Those two were trouble, and Remus couldn't help but feel foolish in thinking that he and Sirius would be- could be- friends. Those trouble makers were currently watching him from between the astrology bookshelves, probably plotting a prank on him of some kind or another. Remus sighed quietly and began packing up his quills and ink, but left out one of his books. This essay had been particularly tricky, but Remus was determined to finish it. He read silently, and listened as the Gryffindor duo left the library. He stood up, stretching, and retrieved another couple books from the shelves. Upon returning, he noticed his table now help an extra set of quills, and a set of notes, as well as a certain redhaired female looking over them. When Remus sat down again, she smiled up at him.

"Hello Lily."

"Hello Remus. Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all!" Remus had said, pleasantly suprised. Remus enjoyed his fellow bookworm's company, and the two had quite regularly begun to follow a schedule: eat breakfast together, go to classes, eat lunch, go to the library, classes, dinner, library and avoid the other Gryffindor boys.

He was quite hesitant to form any sort of relationship after what had happened with Sirius Black, but as time wore on, he found he couldn't deny the redhead's pleads for studying, or even just her requests for his company. Although he found he quite enjoyed Lily's presence, he was worried she would pick up that his 'visits to his very ill mother' were always on a full moon...she was, after all, quite brilliant. But if she knew anything, she never mentioned it.

December (a couple months later)...

Remus' curse hadn't made life for him easy- after his mother had died, his father made an even larger effort to avoid Remus. Throughout the past four months, his father hadn't responded to any of the twelve letters remus sent- not even the one asking if Remus could come home for Christmas that year. So that was how he found himself telling Lily a heartfelt goodbye and (with much eye rolling) promised to write every few days. Secretly, his heart warmed at Lily's demands, even though he played it off like every other eleven year old boy.

In a moment of bravery, he gave her a brief hug, and they parted ways for the next weeks. Remus was left feeling slightly dazed, because for the first time in six years, he had felt support from human contact. Their hug had told him that maybe he could be saved, maybe he could be happy? And maybe Lily could help him...even though his father wouldn't.

Remus felt an odd sense of loneliness, and he wondered if it was because deep down inside him, he yearned for reassurance- reassurance that some way down the road, there will exist a day when he could tell someone his secret and have them still there. When Lily had left, Remus found himself missing his friend; what a word! Friend- it was mutual caring and support.

But without his friend, the anger of the wolf proved worse than usual. Remus woke in the secluded Shrieking Shack, sore, tired, and bloody- oh so bloody. How could he assume that this would be better- because his last transformation hadn't been too bad, that most certainly did not mean this one would be better. Did it have anything to do with the fact that last time he had thought about how Lily would be waiting in the Library? He hadn't noticed, but that was the first time he had feelings for a girl like that.

One week later...

It was Christmas- the day after that full moon, and there was a hideous looking bird waiting impatiently at his bedside. He immediately recognized it to be Lily's- the bug eyed bird having been a topic of conversation on multiple occasions. He looked at the parcel the bird held, and accepted it, pleasantly surprised. He unwrapped the paper and smiled incredulously down at the small book 'the Tales of Beedle the Bard'. Remus didn't take much notice of his family owl missing, or that his father hadn't sent him anything, but he opened the book in wonder. A small note tumbled from between the pages, and he recognised his friends' familiar scrawl.

Dear Remus,

Happy Christmas, Remus, and I hope this finds you well. I saw this book a while back in Florish and Blots and thought you'd like it- I most sincerely hope you do. Thank you so much for the Potions book- how'd you know that's what I had been thinking about buying myself?

Well, thank you so much, and I hope your mother's health is improving.

Have a wonderful holiday!

Lily

Two weeks after end of break...

Once the classes started up again, Remus found it harder and harder to ignore the whispers and rumors surrounding his returns to school after each full moon. Some muggleborns said he had some sort of cancer, some purebloods said he had a horrible curse that ate out his insides (obviously incurable), whilst others had their own thoughts on the matter. Others, perhaps, being his dormates…

"Hey Remus!" his plump companion said, one afternoon after a full moon.

"Hey Pete."

"Where were you?"

"I told you a few days ago- I went to visit my mother. She's sick and the Healers aren't sure what's wrong with her."

"Right! I think it was Sirius -or was it James?- who thought you went to a Quiditch match. I told them you'd never miss school for something like that, however he thought that's where you were." It hadn't been the first time Remus had heard outlandish hypotheses, yet this one still provided trouble in hiding his snort.

Later that week...

Remus felt oddly disconnected to the world sometimes, like he was just a spare screw hanging loose on one of his fathers muggle contraptions, whereas everyone else around him seemed to have a set path, a definite future laid out ahead of them. Remus couldn't even tell Peter (who would need a LOT of work) that he couldn't be an auror because they wouldn't train someone like him. Remus would drift aimlessly among the masses, merely existing in his own little personal bubble, however Lily wasn't going to hear any of that and insisted on getting herself (and him) involved in anything else that she could get two first years in.

Lily never understood why Remus insisted on avoiding the boys, but she never questioned him when he slid into the chair beside her, or hurried down the hall so they could take the long way around. However despite his attempts to avoid the boys, he still found himself laughing when all the Slytherins in the Great Hall had their hair dyed red or gold after losing to Gryffindor in a Quiditch match. The duo had become a trio, as Remus' third dorm mate joined in on the action.

Remus would feel awful to prank someone- like if he did have a muggle disease and teased someone about having a cold. Hypocrite. However, that didn't stop him leaving a slip of paper on James' bed (on his birthday), which held a charm that would charm ever portrait to speak backwards for an hour. If he was going to be at Hogwarts for the the next six years, he might as well be a small part of it...just maybe behind the scenes.

Once the charm proved to work beautifully, the boys (who- during a rant- Professor McGonagall had dubbed 'the Marauders') tried even harder to be near him. Joining him in the library, eating with him, cornering him in their dorms- and Remus was not pleased. He had no logical reason to tell them that he shouldn't be around them, but he tried constantly to find Lily. When with her, the 'Marauders' never bothered him. He suspected that Lily had told them off whilst they had been following Remus, so now they always left him to be when with her...of course class was a different story. They charmed airplanes to send notes to him, and were unfazed when he asked them to stop. It warmed his heart (if you could say that a beast had a heart), but he still avoided the boys as much as possible.

The full moon of February...

One night, as he was leaving for the Shrieking Shack, the boys cornered him, asking his thoughts on the exploding turkeys they had charmed at dinner. Panicked, Remus tried to leave. Yet when Peter caught his arm and wouldn't let go, Remus nearly lost it. He was in so much pain, yet he still had just over an hour until the full moon.

"Madam Pomfrey." He had managed to croak before collapsing on the floor, unconscious. Remus woke soon after, only to have the worried face of Lily Evans parallel to his own, inches away.

"Agh!" He exclaimed, and years later, when telling her son all about her, he always remembered the pain which he experienced when he had sat upright, suddenly smashing his forehead against hers.

"Miss Evans! Please don't antagonize my patients! Oh my! Said patient must be going! Now!" The shrill voice of Remus' hospital ward shrieked.

"Of course!" Remus said, jumping up.

"Sorry about that Lily. I must go- my mum can't stay up too long and should be up now!" Remus would look back and think that maybe he should've been in Slytherin, his lies racking up faster than the Marauders could get detentions! Remus ran out of that room that night, still feeling guilty and upset at the look of disappointment on her face, and the wolf decided that taking out the anger on Remus was the best choice of action. Besides the scratches and scars years later, the only indication of the creature in torment was the screams of agony throughout the night.

March 10th (Remus' Birthday)

Remus spent the majority of his birthday in the library, reading, as he had chosen not to mention his birthday. That's why he was most surprised when Lily, his dorm mates , and a few other Gryffindors arrived at his table, attempting a wizard rendition of the song 'happy birthday'. Lily carried a monstrous chocolate cake, and that was the day Remus decided that his favourite food in the world was chocolate. The confetti that rained overhead sparkled red and gold- and Remus decided that maybe he had been broken, but in the end, he had been saved by red and gold. And watching the flush on his red headed companions cheeks, accompanied by the tie, he knew he didn't mean the confetti.

Author's Note: Me again! See that little button down there? It says review? This is my first ever ff, so please don't be too harsh, but I want the gritty, honest, painful truth. You liked it? Loved it? What did I do that you enjoyed so much? You hated it with a burning passion? Think it's a waste of space on such a great site? What do you feel I can improve on (overall or in this story specifically)? If you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't fix it. Thank you so much for reading 'till the end. It means the world to me! If enough people are interested, I could do this story in several other p.o.v's: Sirius, James, Peter, Lily (?), etc. Or I could use other songs and do Remus from year 1-7? Let me know! Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing that piece! ;)

Thanks to:

Kaloge11, Da duck mastah, PurebloodGirl, NeonDomino, El Reino, hufflepuffpower93, and several other others who have followed me/ PMed me, etc.

thanks again!

ForensicGeek2