Coming to Terms by believesvueo

"Hey Sameen, can I ask you something?"

"Sure and as long as it's not something stupid or nerdy that I would know nothing about."

"No, it's nothing like that."

"Shoot."

"Um, if let's say Tomas, remember him the professional thief came back and he asked you out and then after he asked you to sleep with him, would you?"

"This is a trick question right?"

"No. I am just wondering what you would do."

You want me to be honest?"

"Of course, I expect that you would give me an honest answer."

"I just want to be honest, Root. I would say "yes to that question"

Root told herself to prepare for Sameen's answer. Sameen wasn't the type to be emotional or have any feelings but they have been sleeping together for the past six months and for the last month, she practically has been living with Sameen. Even though they have yet to define their relationship, she thought that she and Sameen were exclusive. She assumed wrong.

Root blinked twice to try to hold back the tears from falling.

"Okay."

"Root, come on. You asked me to be honest."

"And you were and I am glad you were honest about it. At least now I know where we stand. Or rather where I stand. "

"Root, we're…"

"Not together, I remember. Even if we have been sleeping together for six months now and I am practically living in your apartment, we are not together. I get it. It was my mistake to assume that we are something."

Just then both Harold and John walk into the subway hideout.

Hey John. Hey Harry. Listen, I could really use some fresh air Harry, if you need me just call me."

"Root, where are you going?"

She looks at Sameen but doesn't say anything and leaves.

"Hey, what is going on Sam? This must be the first time I ever saw Root not happy with you around?"

"I am pretty sure I am the reason why she isn't happy."

"What did you do?"

"She asked me a question and she didn't like my answer."

"Hmmm. What did she ask you?"

"She asked if Tomas, remember Tomas? "

Reese nodded.

"She asked if Tomas came back and proposed that I sleep with him, would I?"

"And let me guess, you said yes?"

Shaw didn't answer

"You said you would? You're crazy."

"I lied."

"Then why would you say you would sleep with him? You know it would hurt her. Is that what you wanted? Do you wanna end things with Root?"

"No. I think I said 'yes" because if I said I would not sleep with him, everything would be so real. I mean I know it's real but you know…"

"It would be that you and Root are in a real relationship."

"Exactly.'

"That scares you?"

"I told you John, I don't do relationships."

"You say that but you know deep down inside you like the idea of coming home to someone."

"Yeah, I really do. As annoying as that sounds, I admit it is nice coming home to her or coming home together after a mission."

"You know Sam, I am not the best at giving romantic advises, but from experience, I'd say, just go with it. She makes you happy. She frustrates you. But at the end of the day, she understands you the most."

"Thank John."

"Any time Sam."

It was late by the time Root got back to the subway hideout.

Root was so sure that nobody would be there by the time she got back.

But instead she found Sameen waiting in the computer room.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Root can we talk?"

"Sameen I am really tired. And I really don't feel like talking right now."

"Well, you can take the bed and I will sleep on the couch."

"I'm going to stay here tonight, Sameen."

"What? That cot is so uncomfortable. Come on Root let's just go home."

"I don't think so. I'm exhausted and I just want to sleep."

Root turned to walk towards the bathroom and shut the door.

Sameen knew Root enough to know when she needed time and space. But giving Root space and time left an unsettling feeling in her gut. But she went home anyway.

Sameen didn't sleep a wink. She tossed and turn and couldn't get Root's face out of her mind. She remembered how sad Root looked, almost broken because of her.

She finally gave up trying to sleep and looked at the time on her side bed table. It was 5'oclock, if she got ready now, she will be in their subway hideout by 6.

When she got to the subway hideout she headed straight to the cot. Root was still sleeping. She watched her for a moment and smiled at how peaceful and truly beautiful Root is. When she first met Root she could not believe her eyes. She was Caroline Turning then posing as a psychiatrist. She remembered even then getting lost in those big hazel eyes. She wanted to touch her face but is afraid to wake Root up, so she just sat there watching her.

Root could feel someone was watching her. She smelled that familiar scent and she knew it was Sameen.

She opened her eyes and saw Sameen sitting on a chair next to the cot, watching her.

Her throat felt dry and a croaky sound came out when she asked "Sameen, what are you doing here? "

"I couldn't sleep."

"What time is it?"

"It's 6 o'clock. I got you coffee."

"Oh thanks. So what are you doing here so early?"

"I needed for us to talk."

"And I told you we would."

"I know you said that but neither of us are good with words. And I know that if I let time pass, we will never talk. I lied about what I said."

"What?"

"When you asked me if I would sleep with Tomas if he was here, I lied. I don't want to sleep with anyone else but you. I only want you."

"Then why didn't you say so?"

"Because I am afraid I am afraid that if I lost you, I would break. I am afraid that if I lost you, I would also lose myself. The kind of lives we live is dangerous. We don't know if the next number we get will be my end or your end. If I lost you, I really don't know what I would do. So denying it makes this not so real. But I realized that it was dumb of me to deny what I have known after I broke my 3 nights rule."

"You know when I was little I never had anybody until Hanna came along. Home was never a happy one for me. My Mom, I never told you but she was very sick. She had bi-polar and she was also an alcoholic. Every day I never knew what to expect from her. Then I met Hanna and all of a sudden the world wasn't as dark as I thought. She was 14 and I was 11. I skipped three grades. Hanna hated that I was always smarter than her. But then one day a very bad man took her away from me. And since then I never wanted to care for anyone the way I cared about her because it hurt too much. It wasn't until I met you. What I feel for you is so strong that it scares me. It overwhelms me to a point I can't breathe. I know that you don't feel as deep as I do and that is fine with me. I said to you then , "I'll take what you can give me." That is enough for me. But I don't think I could ever share you with another. "

"And I don't want to share you either."

"So."

"So."

"Can we go to my apartment now so I can sleep?"

"Why couldn't you sleep last night?"

"Because I was so used to having you next to me."

"What did you just say? Oh Sameen, I never knew you can be so sweet."

"I swear Root, you tell anybody, I will deny it. So can we go now?"

"Yes, we can."

"So we're okay?"

"Yeah. I think we are more than okay. "

"Good. "

Shaw took Root's hand and held it as they left the subway hideout holding hands.