Things to Never Mention To a Phantom Phantic
Don't say that Raoul is better looking than the Phantom.
Never mention that Christine could be the daughter of the Phantom, considering that Madame Giry knew him as a child, and her child (Meg) was Christine's age. *shudders*
Be sure to cover yourself when you say the Phantom has "emotional problems" and that he's "too sensitive".
Think of a different word instead of "pedophile" when you want to talk about the age difference between the Phantom and Christine.
Ignore the fact that Madame Giry seems to have feelings for the Phantom, and you never know who Meg's father is…
When watching the movie, restrain yourself from making remarks on the Phantom's lair. (how DID that horse get in there…?)
Despite the fact that he's a murderer, a kidnapper, blackmailer, and womanizer, the Phantom is still a "good guy."
Never, ever, laugh out loud during the movie when the Phantom gets his ass kicked by Raoul. Nor should you snicker at his defeated expression.
Fail to mention that the name "Erik" means "ruler of all"
Never ask why the Phantom likes grand entrances instead of simply walking into the masquerade. (Well, why would he ruin the night for everyone?)
Try to contain yourself before you ask why he would give her the ring Raoul gave her.
When you remark that the phantom wasn't really ugly in the movie, try to ignore the exasperated sighs and the "I can't deal with her!"
When Christine dies in 1917, don't mention that the Phantom is STILL ALIVE despite the fact that he was almost forty (fifty) years older than her when she was sixteen.
Apparently Raoul is a fop. Isn't that funny, considering that the Phantom cares a heck of a lot about his appearance? (wigs, masks, clothes, etc.)
Only silently think about the gum that appears in Christine's mouth in the movie.
When the phantom Phan you know goes on and on about the Phantom's bravery, mention that Patrick Wilson (who played Raoul in the movie) was the only one who did his stunts.
When the candles emerge from the water in the movie, don't wonder aloud how all the electricity and power was there in the 1800's.
Ignore the fact that if the Phantom really, really, loved her, he wouldn't have threatened to kill her boyfriend.
Who knew that PTO meant "please turn over?" Maybe that could mean "Phantom of the Opera"
Never ask why the Phantom would need 20,000 francs a month if Madame Giry gets him everything.
Isn't it strange that he know the exact measurement of Christine's dress…
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