Disclaimer: I wish I owned Bleach, but I don't... :(
Snore.
Snore.
Snore.
What WAS that sound?
Snore.
Snore.
He tried to sit up.
Snore.
Snore.
Why couldn't he just SIT UP!!
SNORE.
Ichigo forced himself to rise from the bed, his mind wide-awake but his body still only reluctantly slipping out of a deep slumber.
SNOOOOOREEE!!
He whipped his head around, eyes wide, to face the source of the noise.
Rukia.
The sound was, unmistakably, issuing from the cupboard. Swinging his unwilling legs out of bed, he stumbled and tripped his way across the room to fling open the cupboard door.
A bit too hard.
The door bounced back and Ichigo saved it only by pushing himself to the limits, letting his whole body fall forwards in a carefully timed descent to catch the door and shove it back into place.
As it was, he mistimed it.
Slamming the side of his face full into the door and catching his sleeve on the handle, he fell with it. It crashed back into place, though muffled by his face, which was now squished and flat. Retrieving his poor bruised cheeks from the heavy weight of the wood, Ichigo tenderly touched a red door imprint on his face, wincing slightly.
Snore…
"AARRRRGGGGHHHEEEEAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!" the scream Ichigo let out was barely human, rattling the windowpanes of the Kurosaki clinic, waking his father, who clutched at his teddy bear for comfort, and waking his sisters, both of who buried deeper under the quilts of their bed, shivering.
Rukia awoke.
"huh? Where's the fire?" she asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Her vision was still blurry, but she could make out the figure of Ichigo standing by her cupboard screaming his brains out.
"wha-? Ichigo? Waddya doin?" she asked thickly.
WHAM.
Rukia's neck was suddenly clutched in a vice-like grip, squeezing and tightening every second.
"wha-t t-h-e??" she spluttered, her face rapidly turning purple.
Ichigo was holding her throat, squeezing casually.
"a-a-a-a-ah.." Rukia attempted to yell for help, but achieved nothing but a soft croaky broken "ah" ing sound.
"you…snores…cannot…I…stand it…no…never…" Ichigo grunted, face red with rage, features contorted with indescribable fury.
Rukia smiled, reached behind her back, and with an effort, pulled out Kon and shoved him towards Ichigo. The effect was immediate and effective. Ichigo gave a strangled gasp of horror, let go of Rukia's neck as if it were something ghastly and horrible to the touch, and whirled around, whizzing to his bed at the speed of sound and diving under the blanket, huddling there and cradling his bruised face.
Rukia took a deep breath, inhaling greedily and inflating her deprived lungs. Still gulping air, she tossed Kon out of the cupboard (to the chagrin of a poor Ichigo) and went to sleep.
Snore.
Snore.
Snore.