Author's Note: I have no idea where this one is going. It will likely be long, but I do have to warn that I may not be able to churn out chapters super-fast, in part because of real life, but also because I'm mapping this one as I go.
Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.
"You need a lightsaber."
"I need a what?" Poe just emerged from the refresher after a shower, hair wet, towel around his bare shoulders, clad in just a pair of sleep pants. He's also looking at his wife of just a week like she suddenly grew a second head.
They moved bases again two days ago, and there has been a lot of work needed on their most recent refuge. It has little housing, but it's remote and temporary as they seek a new site. It also has a history, Lah'mu, the planet where the late hero of Scarif, Jyn Erso, hid with her family as a child. For now, they're living mostly on their ships. He and Rey are in quarters they've had before, a room on the small cruiser, their lead ship now, the Holdo.
Rey, who returned to their quarters while he was in the shower, stands there in the middle of the room, hair loose around her shoulders, wearing one of his old, soft pullover shirts and little else, hands on her hips. "A lightsaber."
"No, I decidedly do not need a lightsaber, Beautiful. I get a headache when I even move too many rocks. I am only slightly closer to being a Jedi than Chewie is. The last thing I need is a glowing sword that can cut rocks in half." As he speaks, he rubs the towel on his head, trying to get rid of excess water in his hair. He's exaggerating a little, but he really isn't interested in a lightsaber.
She frowns. "But…"
"Rey, seriously, no." He finishes with the towel and hangs it on the bar on the refresher door, noting that BB-8 is powered down, already in his charging station. "Where is this coming from?"
She goes and sits on their bed, crossing her legs under her. "I don't know. I was practicing with mine today, and it occurred to me that I'd love to spar with you using sabers. I know you'd be good with one. Kriff, even Finn managed mine on Starkiller, and, according to Chewie, on Takodana."
He comes over and perches next to her on the bed. He takes her left hand in his, their wedding bands clinking as they touch, his a simple band of the same metal as her two, one his mother's and the other the kyber-infused band he gave her when they decided to get married. He entwines their fingers, trying to sort out the feelings she's telegraphing right now. It's a bit of a muddle, but in the midst of it, he can feel that what she just proposed is quite important to her. He also feels like there's something she's holding back.
"Rey, talk to me. What's going on?" She stays silent, and he mentally reaches out, trying to feel or hear what's on her mind. He blinks a moment later, startled to feel fear. "Beautiful, you're scaring me."
She looks at him, a sheen of tears in her eyes. "I was meditating after I practiced earlier. I suddenly felt Kylo Ren trying to push into my head. I was able to block him out easily, but he felt…unhinged. It scared me."
He pulls her to him, and she moves willingly. He leans against the wall behind the bed, and she all but crawls into his lap. He hugs her tight to his body, and she presses her face into his neck. She inhales deeply, and she catches the smell of the standard-issue soap they all use. Underneath that, though, is him, something clean, like if the air, the sky, had a scent. She must think that thought directly to him, because he squeezes her tighter and says, "And you smell like sunshine."
They stay like that for a while. Eventually, worry gets the better of Poe. "Rey, this hasn't happened before, has it? Him trying to push in? And how am I just now feeling how upset you are?"
"It hasn't happened that I could tell. It scares me to think that he's been trying since Crait. Maybe he's getting stronger." Her voice waivers. She hates feeling this, feeling afraid. "And I was blocking you. I didn't want you to worry."
He sighs and presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I don't understand why you went straight to the idea of me getting a lightsaber?" He's honestly confused. His limited use of the Force is learned, not natural, and he has had to work at everything he's able to do.
He looks over at the three potted trees near the small window in their quarters, shards of the Force tree that is (or, more accurately, they fear was) at his dad's house on Yavin 4. The small trees are starting to flourish under Rey's careful hand, but she keeps them small and trimmed so that they remain portable. Small as they are, they give off an energy that he knows feeds them both.
"I know you're not a Jedi, and I know you don't care to be. But whether you believe it or not, you are strong with the Force now. Regardless of how you got here, here is where you are. I think using a lightsaber might ground you more in it – it did me. And the actual motions aren't necessarily force driven, though the strength of my hits vary with how much of the Force I channel behind them. Proficiency doesn't require strong use of the Force." She's vehement once again, and he blinks in surprise. She knows she doesn't usually push on Force-related things, but this feels critical to her.
He cocks his head, thinking about that. "I never looked at it that way."
"Will you at least consider it?" She leans away from him, looking up to see his eyes.
He nods. "I'll think about it. We'd have to get a crystal, right?"
"Yes. We'd have to go to Ilum, most likely, and then meditate on it and you'd probably have to carry it with you for a bit before it would be ready. At least that's what the texts indicate." She motions to the pilfered (she prefers to say "liberated") Jedi texts on a nearby shelf.
"All right. Thinking about it. Fair enough, Beautiful?" He leans down and kisses her before shifting her out of his lap to settle her on the bed.
She gets the covers pulled back and slips under them as he goes and turns out the lights. She smiles at him as he returns. "Yes. Fair enough, Flyboy." She feels a spark of hope, and it helps her relax.
He climbs in next to her, pulling her to him. She curls into him, resting her head on his shoulder, and he presses a kiss to her temple. "Sleep, Beautiful. No bad dreams tonight."
She drops off quickly, his hand combing through her loose hair. It takes him longer to fall asleep. He has to block his feelings from her, because he's extremely angry about Kylo trying to get to Rey. He's also thinking about a lightsaber. He's not sure how much more grounded in the Force he actually wants to be – he's not necessarily afraid of it, but after what happened after they had to face off with Kylo on Yavin 4, Poe is a little gun shy.
At the same time, maybe being stronger in the Force would help him avoid the headaches and nosebleeds. That's improved with the slow building of usage, but maybe getting more grounded, more fluid with use would help in a different way. He sighs, closing his eyes.
He can't lie to himself, either – he knows that he wants to be able to help Rey when the day comes where she has to face Kylo. Being stronger in the Force might help him help her. With that thought, he finally relaxes and falls asleep, holding her close and resolving to give her idea some serious thought.
The next morning, she's gone by the time he wakes up. He remembers that she had plans to meet Rose and Chewie to work on some improvements to the Falcon's hyperdrive. BB-8's charging station is empty, so he assumes that the little droid went with Rey to help her.
He gets dressed and heads to the bridge, knowing that's where he'll find Leia. He stops by the mess and gets himself a ration bar and cups of caf for both Leia and himself. When he gets to the bridge, he finds Leia at the small area she claimed at the back of it, where she has a desk. There are tablets spread out around her, and an empty cup next to her.
As he heads over to Leia, Connix shoots him an irritated look. He rolls his eyes and moves past her, going to Leia's desk. He puts the fresh cup of caf down in front of Leia and leans against the desk, perching his hip on the edge of it.
She looks up in surprise, but then she grabs the cup and takes a long sip. She smiles as she puts it back down. "I knew there was a reason I promoted you, Colonel."
He laughs and shakes his head, still unused to his new rank. "Happy to be of service, General. And it's fun for me, because now I'm two ranks above Dad."
She rolls her eyes. "Behave, or I'll promote him too."
"I see Connix is still pissed at me." He smirks.
"You and Rey didn't let them plan a fancy wedding. They wanted a big ceremony and dressy party. You two got married in your regular clothes and just had a party in the hangar." She shoots him a look. "Rey didn't even carry flowers. They may never forgive you."
Snorting, he nods. "Anything on a new base?"
"Unfortunately not." She shakes her head. "After the spy was captured and killed on Endor, I'm being a lot more cautious." She looks up at him and arches an eyebrow. "And what is this I hear about Rey asking how far it is to Ilum? I thought the crystal she has is working?"
He runs a hand through his hair. "She thinks I need a lightsaber."
Leia blinks in surprise at that, then she looks thoughtful. "Let's take a walk, kid."
She doesn't wait for a reply, just stands and heads out, caf cup one hand, her cane in the other. He follows, also carrying his cup. They head towards one of the ship's exits, and a few minutes later, they're outside in the cool, damp Lah'mu morning. He looks around. "Did you ever meet Jyn Erso?"
She shakes her head. "No, but my father did. He used the word 'fierce' to describe her. I did know Captain Andor and many of the soldiers who died with them on Scarif; your dad did too. Cassian Andor was one of the best spies the Rebellion ever had, and he was a good man, even if hard to know well."
"Most spies are, aren't they?" Poe cocks an eyebrow at her.
"That they are." They get to a large, flat rock, one slightly shielded from the breeze and the mist, but also one with a clear view and path back to the cruiser. She sits down and pats the spot next to her. "Sit, Poe." He complies, settling next to her and putting his cup down. "Why does she think you need a lightsaber?"
"You're not going to like it much, General."
"Poe, we're sitting outside on a damp rock. It's Leia." She gently taps his leg with her cane.
He chuckles and amends, "You're not going to like it much, Leia."
"Better. And let me guess – it has to do with my son, correct?" She sighs.
He cocks his head at her. "Yes. Kylo, Ben, tried to push into her head while she was meditating yesterday."
"Kylo. Ben is gone, at least as far as I can tell. For a long time, I had hope. But between what he did to you," Poe still shudders at that memory, and she pats him on the leg, "What he did to Rey, and what he did to," she takes a deep breath, "Han, I can't hope anymore. Even if he ever turned, I cannot see how his head or heart could be whole."
"She's afraid, Leia. I'd even say terrified. And she felt almost desperate in her need to get me to say yes to this. She thinks it will help ground me in the Force the way it did her. I think she thinks it will help me hold off Kylo." He runs his hand through his hair again.
Leia takes his hand in hers. "And what do you think, Poe? That's what matters here."
He takes a deep breath. "I'd be willing to try it. To see if it helps me the way she thinks it will." He looks at her. "And if it means I can help her fight your son, I have to be honest with you, Leia, I will do it without hesitation."
"Good." Leia squeezes his hand. "I loved my son. I still love whatever tiny piece of him that inhabits Kylo Ren. But Kylo Ren killed Ben Solo when he killed Han. I believe that."
"I'm sorry, Leia."
"It's not your fault, Poe."
"I know. Still sorry, though." He gives her a sad smile, which she returns. "So, if I decide to go along with this, can we have a go? It's actually a good time. We're closer to Ilum than we've been in a long time. We'd probably just take a couple of fighters – Rose is working on the Falcon's hyperdrive."
Leia stands and nods. "You do. You can go anytime – your X-Wing and Shara's A-Wing. Take a binary beacon, though. Just in case."
"Thank you, Leia." He stands too.
She starts to head back to the cruiser when she pauses. "Rey should get her own crystal. I know she has Anakin Skywalker's. She should have her own."
"I had the same thought, Leia. I'll tell her that from both of us." He gives her a smile.
"Hells, Poe. Make it a condition." She arches an eyebrow and then turns and continues back to the cruiser. He laughs and shakes his head, following her.
Not long after, he finds Rey in the Falcon, working on the ship's hyperdrive with Rose, BB-8, and Chewie. "Beautiful?"
She'd sensed his approach, and she's not surprised to hear him call her. Rose shoos her away. "We got this, Rey." Chewie calls his agreement, so Rey stands up and joins Poe. He takes her hand and pulls her with him back off of the ship.
When they're outside the Falcon and he sees that they're alone, he surprises her by saying, "Connix is still mad at me."
She laughs and shakes her head. "I'll have Rose talk to her. I think she needs to know that I was the inflexible one, not you."
He leans down and kisses her. "You were gone when I woke up."
"You looked tired last night. I know the moves take a lot out of you and the general. We all just have to move stuff. You two have to worry about where we're going, Colonel." She reaches up and brushes some hair back from his eyes.
"Not on our own. We have more leaders than we did even weeks ago." He takes a deep breath. "We have clearance to go to Ilum."
She blinks. "You're willing to…" As much as she'd wanted to ask, she'd decided that she wasn't going to push him about the lightsaber.
He nods. "On one condition, one that was Leia's idea. You have to get yourself your own crystal, too. Anakin's is a serviceable back-up, but you should have your own."
"I," she hesitates, "I don't know. I like Anakin's."
"But Rey, you don't know any different. Maybe finding your own crystal would be something you like even more."
"And it's a condition." She doesn't phrase it as a question, but she does arch an eyebrow at him.
"It is. Leia's right."
She sighs. "All right. It might be interesting. When can we go?"
"Anytime. It's not a long trip. I told Leia we'd take Black One and Mom's A-Wing. You've basically claimed the A-Wing as your own anyway. Might as well just keep it Green One and call her yours." He reaches down and takes her hand again. "Dad noticed how much you love her – he told me he wants you to take her."
"Really?" She grins, her first bright smile since the day before when Kylo tried to push into her head.
"Really. Come on, let's go grab some gear and rations. Hopefully, we can go there and back today." He starts pulling her again, this time towards the crew quarters. BB-8 must have been curious, as he rolls down the Falcon's ramp, following them. Poe notices and smiles at his little droid. "Ready for a quick trip, buddy?" The droid beeps and trills happily, so Poe motions to Black One with his head. "Go get her ready, then. And have another droid check on Green One."
BB-8 lets out an affronted beep at that, stopping and giving Poe what could only be described as a stern look. He then lets out a series of beeps that make Poe hold his hands up in defeat. "Or you can check on Green One first, then check Black One."
Rey laughs out loud at the exchange, watching fondly as the astromech rolls away towards their ships in the hangar. Poe shakes his head. "That droid."
Pulling him this time, Rey gets them moving towards their quarters again. "Oh stop. You utterly adore him."
"Only sometimes." Poe snarks, and she bumps him with her hip. "Yeah, yeah, fine. All of the time."
He lets her drag him to their quarters, some of his mental blocks up so she doesn't worry or become reticent about this. He's still not sure it's a good idea, but if it makes her smile, he realizes that he'll do practically anything. And he has to admit that lightsabers are pretty awesome. As they walk, he mutters, "Ilum, here we come."