AN: This is a parody to the rap song "Ridin' Dirty" by Chamillionaire, supposed to be sung by Severus Snape. I do not own these characters, the song, or Harry Potter. This is fan work.
They see me flyin
They hatin
Patronum they tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
My magic so loud
I'm swooping
They hopin that they gon catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
[Verse 1 - Snape
Students think I am so mean
I'm an occlumencer so it ain't easy to be seen
When you see me ride by they can see I'm not clean
And my shine on my hair and the dirt on my knees
Ride with a new wand, he like put it up
Next to the bubbling cauldron is a full bottle of veritaserum
Turn a boggart into soapsuds
Boy you ain't know, I'm filthy like Muggle toes
Throw in Riddle's bones to tryin have minions
Kids try an' clean myself so I pull out the detentions
Potter and his patronus, you know he hate me
Magic turned all the way up until the maximum
I can speak for some Death Eaters tryin to jack for some
But we packin somethin that we have, and um, we'll have a Death Eater locked up in Azkaban
Ministry call, I'm grippin wand
Magic out and curses in all
Crucio and Imperio like hit his mind
Pull up from behind and take his life
Avada Kedavra to stop all his motion
Voldemort in charge, Death Eaters like who is that approaching?
This the Boy-Who-Lived and challenging our cursing
Got baths every day except while at Hogwarts, but I'm still ain't losin
[Verse 2 - Snape
I been brewin and makin potion shit cause a wizard can't focus
I gotta get to home
'for the Daily Prophet scope.
This big ol Scourgify,
all tryin to clean with hocus-pocus.
Harry been slippin up
in the Ministry and the board against him, and again we in the wind
Signin detentions while I chug a Strengthening solution
And bottling another one up, we livin like we ain't givin a knuck.
I got a wand in my right hand, Mandrake Restorative Draft freezing calls
Roll a Weepin Willow tree, green leaves and all
Cuttin pretty deep, me and my spells
I gotta get back to Spinner's End
Wanted by the Dementors and I got Felix Felicis shots to the block we curse
Pop Pop, hope Aurors don't see me-- on a low key
With no regards for the law we dodge em like bludge em all
But I won't get caught up and brought up on charges from the Azkaban
Keep a wand on broom, and a flask to drink, but well if you want, wizard you poppin dark arts
Ready or not we bust curse off in the air Severus Snape and Tom Ridd-dal
[Verse 3 - Snape
Do what you thinkin so, I tried to get some soap.
Turn up a quaffle and I swang it over
A wizard upset for sure cause they think they know that they catchin me with plenty of the stink and dirt
So they get behind me tryin to check my pants, took a Tergeotry and they smilin
Thinkin they'll catch me on the clean, well keep tryin
Cause they denyin is house profiling
London, England you can check my books
Pull me over try to check my Pack
Cauldron compartment-- gotta get fluxweed
Cause the crooked kids try to act all babied
And potion's master that I am, I brew them, giving ingredients and Scourgify for shampoo
When they realize I ain't even ridin dirty bet you'll be leavin with an even madder mood
I'mma detention you then I'mma have to curse you. I'm number one in the Slytherin view
You can't arrest me plus you can't use
This a message to Dumbledore tellin him WE HATE YOU
I can't be touched or tell 'em that they shoulda known
Tippin' down D.A. secrets--Muffliato
Throwin' the, rules' to find a witch I wanna Imperio
Like they couldn't stop me, I'mma 'bout to pull up at your house and it's on