Disclaimer: None of the recognizable characters belong to me. I own only my interpretation.
Authors note: Just don't take this one-shot seriously. This is a parody. I just dislike several fragments of "Hobbit" movies. Neither I liked the way Kili and Fili were presented, as they were not like dwarves for me. I admired Gimli for being perfectly "dwarvish", whereas those two fit young elves more that were of course good-looking, but dwarf is not supposed to be good-looking and cute.
„Butterfly, butterfly tell me please,
Am I the cutest dwarf that ever exists?"
Kili got a serious problem. There were many cute characters in "The Hobbit", including the bloody prince of elves with pointed ears. Oh, blonde-one was a real nightmare with all those girls calling him "cute". Young dwarf has spent numerous hours in desperate try to solve a problem. Whether he is or he is not the cutest dwarf ever exist? "To be or not to be?" were not a real question in Kili's opinion at least. There were the only way to get answer: to ask a butterfly.
Kili wasn't just good-looking beardless dwarf, but brilliant one as well. Or at least as brilliant as someone who hope to steal precious jewel from a dragon can be. Nevertheless, don't be malicious, he noticed one, important creature: the butterfly of Gandalf. When they need to run from the white orc troops, trees were burning and wolves were hungry it was giant eagles who saved them. Eagles not only saved them, but made their way shorter, and it was only a Mirkwood between them and a treasure. Kili noticed Gandalf, the wizard had played with butterfly before and asked:
'What are doing with this butterfly?'
'It is not a butterfly beautiful boy, but wireless messenger in disguise'- wizard explained, playing with his pipe – ' We need cavalry and F16'
'What are you talking about?'- asked Kili not knowing what the hell F16 is.
'This is not 21st century and we are not in States?' – asked Gandalf and without waiting for response continued 'I mean, I er… ask powers of good for help. There are powers of good out there and they respond to text messages, I mean prayers'
'They are?'- asked Kili not really convinced
'Yes, don't you remember First Lady of Sta.. I mean Arda, disguised as Lady Galadriel who suddenly disappear and run away to my boss?'
'Gandalf my dear, just give me a pipe and rest '- proposed Kili terrified by a vision of wizard that gone mad.
Kili quickly realized wizard is not in a good condition. Old man should not hunt dragons, no matter how much gold may be there. When Gandalf went sleep, young dwarf took a butterfly and ask a question:
„Butterfly, butterfly tell me please,
Am I the cutest dwarf that ever exists?"