Ed and Eddy do: Letters

Disclaimer: This isn't the official Ed and Eddy do episode 4. But rather, this is in between the two. Sorta like an episode 3.5. Also, I didn't really get a lot of reviews for this. Only got one review (and even he didn't have any questions to ask), but nevertheless, the show must go on. Actually, it's a fan fiction, but that's not important.

The Eds were in their usual studio. However, there is a slight difference. I'm not telling you until later.

"Hello, I'm Ed." Ed began.

"And I'm Eddy." Eddy continued.

"And welcome to a flooded studio." Edd, out of character, interrupted.

The studio was full of letters in envelopes. There was a huge mountain of letters in the background, and half a second later, in collapsed into a tidal wave. In front of the Eds were 5 sacks of mail: 3 of them letters from Edd fangirls, and the other two are ordinary letters for Edd. "Let's get started, shall we?" Eddy rubbed his hands in glee. "Here's one." He said in a forced smile. "Ahem," He cleared his lungs. "Dear dorks, I'm gonna pound you. Kevin."

Ed and Eddy looked at each other in that awkward face, before Ed randomly blurted out "Junk!"

Eddy then crumpled the letter, and threw it away. Into a bin that came out of nowhere. "Here's another one. It's for you, Double D."

"Thanks Eddy." The cameraman took the letter from the short Ed and read it off-screen. "Dear Double D. I love you. I long for us to be together. Sometimes, when I'm alone in my room, I go into my bed and tou..." He stopped reading. "Oh dear." Though the audience couldn't see it, Edd was clearly blushing. "I'll put this somewhere safe..." and by that, he means he put it into a shredder, which, like the bin, came out of nowhere.

"And another one for me!" Eddy put on another forced smile. "Dear Mr. Eddy..." Eddy paused for a moment. "My surname's not "Eddy", but whatever." He continued reading "It seems that your subscription to Good Housekeeping has ran out. To carry on your subscription, please give us your name, your address, and your credit card details." He stopped smiling, and noticed something. "Wait a minute..." He pondered in thought. "I don't own a credit card. Must be a mistake. My subscription doesn't run out until 2011." Needless to say, he crumpled it up and threw it into a bin.

Edd then picked up "And here we have a letter for Ed!" Ed guffawed in delight, as he grabbed the letter. But, in an act of stupidity, he ate it. Needless to say, Edd handed him another letter. "And don't eat it!" He sternly warned.

Ed grabbed the letter. He put it into his mouth, but, this time, he spat it out instead. "Dear Ed..." He couldn't read the rest of it due to teeth marks, saliva, and his own stupidity. "The end!" He then ate it.

"I'm..." Eddy stared at Ed, hesitant to question what happened. "Unsure what happened."

"I'm not even correcting that appalling grammar, Eddy." Edd also stared at Ed. "Never mind. Let's continue, shall we?"

"Yes, let's." Eddy was hypnotised. But he snapped out of it. "Here's one from Rolf Kvi... Kvi... Something with 23 letters and no vowels." He stopped reading for a moment, because he didn't know which way to hold the paper up. Not because of Eddy being stupid, but because of what Rolf put was unintelligible. "Hey Double D, can I borrow that shredder?"

""Please", Eddy." Edd corrected. ""Can I PLEASE borrow your shredder?""

"Hey, man. I asked you."

"Never mind." Edd (presumably) rolled his eyes, and Edd directed the short megalomaniac to the shredder. As Eddy disposed of the letter, Ed picked up a letter and read it. "Ed and Eddy do; 260 Rathink Avenue; Peach Creek, TS..."

"Ed, you're supposed to open it." Eddy reminded.

"I'm supposed to what?" Ed stupidly asked.

"Give it here." Eddy snatched the letter out of Ed's hands and opened it for him. He then gave the letter back.

"Thank, Eddy." Ed shouted. "Dear Eddy." Ed stopped reading for a moment. "What happened to your hair? From Paul in Detroit, my."

"It's Michigan, Ed." Edd corrected.

"Same thing that happened to everyone else's hair." Eddy rapidly, and half-arsed, replied to the letter. "Except Double D. We know what's under that hat and we're not telling you."

"I know! I know!" Ed shouted as he raised his hand, as if he was in class.

"Ed, if you're telling the viewers, I'm burning Mutter." Eddy threatened.

"Nein!" Ed shouted. However, what he was saying "Nein!" about is up to you to interpret.

"I think that's all the letters we can manage." Eddy tiredly slumped in his chair.

Ed picked up a letter, still in its envelope, and tore it in half. And yet the piece of paper inside was still intact as it flew out. "Dear Ed." He read. "Why are you yellow?" He paused. "I like bananas!" Whether or not Ed was answering the question, or just being random, is unknown.

"That's all for this semi-sode." Eddy talked to the camera. "Goodnight!"

"Wait, Eddy. This episode felt... missing." Edd noticed something different.

"Oh, right! I forgot to attack Ed!" Eddy finally knew what was up. He picked up the bin and hit Ed on the head with it.

"What was that for?" Ed rubbed his head.

"No reason." Eddy laughed briefly before Ed retaliated by shoving Eddy's head into the shredder. (Note kids: Please do not try this at home. The Eds are trained professionals. And stupid. Mostly the latter). Eddy managed to get his head out of the shredder. And when he did, it looked like his head were freshly-cut strips of paper. He then grabbed at stapler, and stapled the bits of his head together. "You're gonna get it!" Eddy yelled.

"We're nearly out of tape." Edd interrupted, thus breaking up the fight.

"Bye." Eddy and Ed waved to the camera, before Eddy dealt a number of uppercuts at Ed.

A/N: Short story, I know. But, as I've said, I didn't have a lot of reviews, so I had to make all the letters up. Plus college has been eating up time. NOTE: Here in the UK, colleges are a step-up from secondary schools, but lower than universities. Thought I might tell you, is all.

Yeah, I might try and find some spare time in which to write another Ed and Eddy do. But, due to a lack of help (thanks a lot), I've no idea of what the Eds should cover. Either way, we'll find out.