She was crying on her couch, crying again because of him like she has been doing the past weeks, but today it was different. Today she wasn't crying over an invisible corpse, she wasn't crying over unspoken words, nor over suppressed feelings.. Today she knew Oliver was alive. She had seen him, he had saved the city, but he had failed her, again. When he told her that he had teamed up with the devil, Malcom Merlyn, the man who killed Tommy and another 500 people in the undertaking, the man who made his sister kill Sara, the man she most hated, she couldn't understand him.
When she looked at her window, she wasn't really surprised to see Oliver crawling into her living room through there. She cleaned the tears on her face, she was so angry at him, and the fact that he didn't try to knock to know if she wanted him there, only enraged her more. She stood up, giving him her back walking toward her kitchen.
"I don't want to talk! I already said all I had to say to you! You know what a door is, right? Then used that one and get out!" She point at her front door just before she stepped into the kitchen, and took a glass of water, breathing heavily, waiting to hear the door close, but she didn't heard anything, so after a few deep breaths, she went back to the room. And there he was, standing beside the table, his arm on his sides, his fists clenched, like he was barely holding up.
"I thought I made myself very clear Oliver!" This time she looked at him, and what she saw took her breath away, the way Oliver was looking at her left her speechless, her eyes were darker, and so intense she shivered.
" Yes, you did, but I didn't. You left me there without letting me talk, and I want to, so, if you don't want to talk, don't do it, you just have to listen to me" His voice was harsh, even angry, why would he be angry with her!
He took a few steps toward her, so he was standing a few inches from her, she had to control herself, it was so difficult to be so close to him, her body ached to touch him. Even as furious as she was, she had to admit that the pure joy she felt when she saw him in the foundry was still there, because he was right in front of her, smiling and looking at her and that despite everything she had said, she still loved him. So she found herself in an internal fight between her mind that was telling her to be angry, to be furious that he would work with Malcom Merlyn and her heart that was just so extremely happy to see him again that everything else didn't matter.
"You're wrong Felicity" She looked up to meet his eyes, her thoughts interrupted. "So wrong. Do you think I WANT to work with Merlyn? The man that basically destroyed my life and my sister's? And Killed Sara and Tommy? Do you really think that I want to team up with him? Nothing would make me happier than to shoot a whole quiver in his chest. But I can't, because I need him. I have to kill Ra's Al Ghul, and the last time I almost die myself, and I don't know what he would do when he finds out that I am alive. But I can't kill him alone, I need help and Merlyn is the only one that can help me." His voice went from frantic high to almost a whisper. Oliver had closed the distance between them, and now his forehead was almost resting in hers. She couldn't look away from his eyes, she was trapped in them, and now, although she didn't know how, she was also trapped between his body and the wall. "Can't you see it? If Ra's comes for me again and I'm not prepared, he will kill me this time, but before that he'll make me suffer, and feel loss, so he will kill Thea, and Roy, and Diggle, and Lauren… and you. I can accept my death if it has a purpose, but I can't accept that you get hurt, ever. But that's not what you're most wrong about."
Felicity couldn't move, couldn't even breathe his words had pinned her to the ground. Her fury going away with every word, listening to his pain, to his fear. But with the last words her face made a grin at him, what he was talking about? Damn, she couldn't even think straight with him so close.
"You are not a woman I love," She flinched, hearing her words in his mouth "you were in every one of my dreams when I was fighting for my life these past weeks, you were my strength, my light, and my hope. I wanted to come home to you, just to see you again, I did come back different, and wanting to do things differently. You know how they say that when you are dying you see your life flash before your eyes? You were the last thing I saw when Ra's stabbed me, Felicity, you're not a woman I love, " he repeated " You are THE woman I love"
He stopped himself, looking for an answer, but as she stood still, he pulled away from her, disappointment and pain all over his face. He started walking to the front door, leaving her cold without his body next to hers.
"But I understand if you don't see me that way anymore, and I am sorry that I hurt you, I swear it is the last thing I wanted to do."
Her mind was a hot mess, trying to take everything he just said to her, he did say that she was the last thing he saw when he was dying, that he had dreamt about her.. It was like she was living a dream, the same dream she had had the last few weeks almost every night, but she still felt unable to move, her body was completely frozen. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, trying to put herself together. When she opened her eyes, he was already at the door, and the feeling of losing him again overwhelmed her, so much that tears started running down her face.
"Oliver!" She screamed his name, and when he turned to look at him, she was running towards him. She bumped into his chest so hard that he had to gripped her arms to steady her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, crying into his chest. "Don't go, please." She wailed. He pulled her tighter into the embrace wounding one arm around her waist and the other over her shoulder.
She didn't know how long they stayed like this, holding each other, maybe minutes, maybe hours, it didn't matter. When she gathered the strength to look up, Oliver's watery eyes met hers and he wiped the tears off her face.
"Please don't leave me, ever again", she said, still sobbing "I don't think I could survive"
" I promise, I won't, " he whispered into her mouth before kissing her again, softly, there was no rush, they had all their lives to be together.