Noxi: Just a response to my Chestervelle feels from Born Under a Bad Sign. Dabbling in the Dean x Jo field because it's totally necessary and there is never enough. Mainly Jo, with Chestervelle through her.

Supernatural belongs to the CW and Kripke.

Silent Reverie

"Joanna Beth!" She jumped at the sound of Ellen's voice and glanced over her shoulder.

"What?" she snapped back, knowing she'd been caught staring off, feeling like an idiot. Now wasn't the time to let her mom see how distracted she was. If she did, she'd want to know why. And she wasn't sure she was ready to explain to her mom how she was feeling about the oldest Winchester just yet.

"The hell are you doin' just standing there?" She turned away from her mom before she caught the lie on her face. She couldn't admit to her mom why she was standing here, looking out the window when she didn't want to admit it to herself.

She was too stubborn for that.

"Nothing," she mumbled, and went back to wiping down the tables and filling the salt and pepper. There was a moment of silence and she breathed, hating herself for even feeling this way.

She didn't pine like this, not after some guy. She was better than that, and she certainly knew better. He wasn't going to call.

He wasn't.

But…

She looked over her shoulder, sidelong at the wall, and watched the phone. And it sat there quiet, just like it had been for the past week.

Unlike her own thoughts. She groaned and swept up her things, walking back to the bar. She couldn't sit around here and wait for nothing to happen. She dumped the salt and pepper on the counter, dropping the rag behind it before leaning against the counter.

"Mom," she sighed, eyes still drawn to the phone, "what did you do to pass the time while dad was on a hunt?" She could hear her mom draw in a deep breath from behind her, papers shuffling distinctly.

"Honey, we rarely did hunts without each other." Jo knew this, but she still needed to know what her mom did when she stayed behind. It was slowly driving her mad just sitting here, waiting. "But when your dad did go off without me I kept up with other hunts, with the Roadhouse. And you came along eventually." She couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a kid right now, never mind while you were hunting. She could hear her mom go quiet, feel her heavy stare on her back.

"Sweetie, what is it? You've been different ever since you got back from the case in Duluth. What the hell didn't you tell me?" She didn't turn to face her mom, and she didn't explain what had happened when she'd been out there. Because it was easier to lie about finding nothing then to explain that she'd be taken hostage by a possessed Sam and saved by Dean.

Dean.

"Jo," she turned at her mom's firm grip and swallowed hard. She could see the worry clear in her mom's eyes and knew that she either had to tell her, tell her what that heavy feeling was in her chest or -

"It's nothing mom," she murmured and walked away, hating the way her heart fell deeper into her chest. She was a damn fool. She knew better than to let herself get this way. She'd been raised better than this.

"Jo!" But she just kept walking out the door, ignoring her mother's voice until she felt the cool air on her skin. She let the door swing shut behind her, and breathed deep.

"You're a fool," she whispered.

But she couldn't help the way she kept staring at the phone or just hoping against hope that this time would be different. Just this once. Maybe he wouldn't be the liar she knew he was. Maybe for once, instead of always putting the job first he would actually put himself first. Maybe he would think about her like she thought about him.

She laughed; harsh and dismal. Dean was as good as they came. He wouldn't give up the job for anything. Not even a chance at something good. Not even to spare a few minutes for a simple conversation with her.

She wasn't worth it. She was just a kid, who didn't know anything.

But he was wrong. She did know. She knew the sacrifices he made and the weight he carried. She knew, in the end, what that was going to do to him. And she knew what that meant for her.

I'll call you later, okay?

She could still hear his voice, deep and hoarse in her mind, making her heart twist as she watched him walk away, his shoulders heavy with his burden. Would she ever see him again? Would she get a call saying he was dead? Would he ever call her again?

And it was the thought of never seeing him again, the feeling of her gut twisting, that made her decide.

"No, it's not okay," she muttered.

Because he wouldn't call. Just as the phone sat silent, just as he wouldn't call unless a job came up and he needed their help, Dean wouldn't call her.

No matter how much her chest ached at that thought. No matter how much she have wanted to pick up the phone and call him herself and let him know what a jerk that made him, it just wasn't who she was.

It wasn't who they were.

And she couldn't stand here and worry over him when he was out there fighting his own battles. She knew she had to forget him. It didn't matter what she felt for him, didn't matter how much it hurt her to let that go.

She had to walk away.

Just as he'd done to her.

She wouldn't ever admit that her eyes burned for a moment, and that her chest weighed heavy for too long. But she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning around and walking back inside. She saw her mom, taking stock behind the counter, before smiling softly at something she couldn't see.

But Jo knew. She knew that her mom was smiling about something that had to do with her dad. There was only one smile that she kept for her dad and that was it. The soft look in her eyes, the full tilt to her lips, the sidelong tilt to her head. Ellen had never ever let go of her dad, even after death.

"Ya alright?" Ellen called, catching her off guard. And Jo gave a small smile.

She was a Harvelle. They didn't give up easy.

A/N: Thoughts? My second Chestervelle, though this is really a Jo fic. I love her dearly. Thank you so much reading! Your comments would really be appreciated. Much love!