I have always enjoyed reading those hilarious Harry Potter thingies, such as What Not To Do At Hogwarts and 100 Ways To Annoy Voldemort. My best friend liked them too, and since she knows how much I love Peter Pan, she made one for me! Please read, some of them are actually pretty funny. Can you imagine, those of you with soaring minds, doing these things to Hook?????
-- Risea Moone
40 Ways To Annoy Captain Hook
1. Repeatedly ask why he keeps letting Peter off easy.
2. Give him a "love fern."
3. Take his hat and make him wear it gangsta-style (cocked to one side).
4. Scribble "I Love Peter" in cursive all over his maps of Neverland. Include hearts.
5. Point it out to the crew.
6. Yell "It's Pan!" at random times.
7. Don't say anything when Peter really shows up.
8. Tell him that deep down he knows he is the father Peter never had.
9. Stick "run me through" on his back.
10. Laugh at his hook.
11. When he is announcing his next plan to attack Peter, snort loudly or roll your eyes, saying things like, "He just doesn't know when to quit," or "Like that will ever work."
12. Hang a fake crocodile over his head while he is sleeping.
13. Decorate his ship with silly string.
14. Stare at his hair before asking if they had hair-dressers in his day.
15. Shove cheese up his nose. Laugh when he pokes himself trying to get it out.
16. Glance at his hand and say "It's only a matter of time..."
17. Ask him how he claps.
18. Tell Peter that he loves him.
19. Cut his hair and dye it blonde.
20. Tye-dye his clothes.
21. Replace his hook with a duster.
22. Tell him Smee has a crush on him.
23. Ask him why he never got a "hidden kiss" from a girl.
24. Play a song by tapping his hook with a spoon.
25. Shove his hat over his face at random times.
26. Make him a coat out of Doodle-Bear material. Give the crew the markers.
27. Call him "Jammies."
28. Ask him if he had a sex change.
29. Tickle him.
30. Ask him why he would want to hurt that "poor, innocent, cute little boy..."
31. Buy him yoga videos. Insist that you do it together.
32. Tell him that what he really needs is some bonding time with Peter. Suggest they go fishing.
33. Sit in his lap and tell him you want a pink pony named Lollypop for Christmas.
34. Tell him he should write an autobiography called "How Not to Punish Children."
35. Ask him if he is gay.
36. Whenever there is an awkward silence, bring up the "lion and butterfly" quota.
37. Tell him he needs a wife. Suggest Rosie O'Donnell.
38. Sign him up for Little League.
39. Ask him if he puts curlers in his hair.
40. Paint his hook like a candy cane at Christmas.