A/N Hey, so I was just having one of those days where I can't stop thinking about Lee. I know I should be over it, but I still cry everytime :'( Anyway, enjoy this little one-shot I made from Clem's point of view.
Thinking Of You
I still remember the last words he said to me: I'll miss you.
It happened two years ago, but it feels like yesterday. His words still play through my head like a broken record. Everytime I close my eyes, I see him slouched against the wall, his eyes heavy and skin pale. The color might have been sucked out of him, and same with the light, but the fire in him kept burning until the last second. Pulling the trigger was like blowing out a flame.
I was so scared on the first day. I remember being holed up in that dumb treehouse, with only a hammer and a walkie talkie at my side, waiting for help to come. And then Lee came along. He was like my guardian angel, only with dirty jeans and a criminal record. I don't know what made him stick around on that very day. Most people would have seen me as a burden, and left me for dead. But not Lee. No, he was special.
He watched over me from that day on. Others came into the picture; there was Kenny and Katjaa, and their little son Duck, Lilly, and Doug, and Ben. There were more, but those six I'll never forget. Months went by slower than ever, but we held our ground. Shit happened, and people died along the way, but Lee was always there to protect me. It didn't take a blind man to see the good in him. He was always the one who made the sacrifices. He didn't like to kill people, but sometimes he had to for the safety of the group. He didn't like being the swing vote, but he eventually made the decision he thought was best for all of us as a whole. He didn't like putting himself at risk, but he was so selfless that it in the end, he always did.
I was extremely lucky to have him by my side. Back then, I didn't even realize how good I had it. Not only did I have Lee, but I also had Kenny and Ben, along with Christa and Omid. Maybe it's because I was so young and oblivious, but for some reason I didn't think they were enough.
And that's where I went wrong.
I was so naive, so foolish, to blindly trust a stranger. And Lee's dead because of that.
He should have left me behind as soon as I went missing. He should have shrugged it off and forgotten about me. I did deserve that, after all. But Lee's too good a man. He had so much fight in him that he just couldn't give up on me. I owe him my life. And not just for that, but for all the other times he saved me. I can't thank him. I can't repay him. All I can do is keep going, because I know that's what he would have wanted for me. That's what he died for.
Two years have gone by, but I still think about what he said to me. How can he miss me? He doesn't fight back tears whenever my name is mentioned. He doesn't feel broken everytime he thinks of me. I'm glad he doesn't have to miss me. A part of me is gone now. All that's left is the ashes he left behind. Now I know, he was enough. He was my family.
I always catch myself looking down, remembering what I said back.
Me too, Lee. Me too.