Hello! I know I'm working on two other Fanfics right now, but here's ANOTHER one, basicly some drama between Ahsoka, Anakin and Padme. Warning: This fanfic does have suicidal thoghts, actions and attempts, as well as some sexual content. Love you, and have a great day!

"Ahsoka, you seem on edge, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

You wince as the lie easily slips out of your lips. At first, lying to him was hard. You could barely get through the words, 'I'm okay', without breaking. At first, he was worried for you. But you had learned. You could now block him out of your thoughts, and besides noticing small details, like how you always look down at your feet, or how you now wear large sweaters despite the heat, or maybe on occasions a few tears just barely slipping through your barriers, he could no longer sense your emotions.

It's not like you ever wanted to lie to him, actually, you had sworn to yourself you wouldn't.

"Master, what is it?"

He sighed. "Nothing, Snips."

"I can help." You said.

"Not this time." He murmured.

You tried a smile, attempting a to lighten the mood. "Yeah, I can. Just vent. Let out all your anger on me, you'll feel better."

His expression went solemn fast. "Ahsoka…..I would never do that."

Of course, he was joking. He was attempting to return your joke; self deprecating humor. He was saying that he had a lot of anger and it would be just insane if he let out any of it. But then again maybe he wasn't.

"Snips, I'm serious. You know I would never hurt you, right?" His voice was a whisper.

Well, he did look serious. It did sound serious.

"...yeah…" You managed, before suddenly he was tugging you protectively into his arms, and you were there, snuggled up against his chest.

He was serious.

And he was afraid.

And never before had you felt so safe.

He didn't want you to fear him. But why would he even think that? He was Anakin, Skyguy, and you knew he would give his life to save yours. Of course, you knew that he could lose his temper at times, and he was very capable of defeating any given threat, but he had always used his strength to protect others.

But you did have a job to do, so no more thinking.

Somehow make him smile, make him happy and fearless again. It was just what you did.

"Yeah, I know that, silly." You whispered, trying to show him that there was no doubt in him.

You could feel the muscles in his arms relax. "Of course, Snips."

He let you go and you reductly moved back to your place at his side, returning to your previous question. "I can sense your uneasy, what is it?" This time your tone was gentle. Not like you really expected an answer, Anakin never told you wh-

"In all honesty, I've just been thinking a lot about this thing lately." He sighed again.

"Wha-"

"The council was assigning you to another solo mission. On Dathomir. You know, with the night brothers and night sisters?" He continued. You shut your mouth and nodded. "I've been there. It's terribly dangerous. Me and Obi-Wan nearly were killed waaay too many times for a visit while there wasn't a war there."

"Master...last time I checked there's not a war on Dathomir now."

"That's, besides..the point, Ahsoka." He looked at her with false accusation, cocking a brow. "If I'm saying that I almost died doing basically what you're doing…." His voice trailed.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. So, let me guess, you don't want me to go?"

"Of course not!"

In your mind you were already thinking hard. But what if you did die? You would die telling Anakin nothing unlike he was doing now. And the thought you two being completely honest and comfortable with each other was just about impossible, but enjoyable to imagine. So then and there, in the few seconds before he went back to his explanation, you swore on your life you would never lie to him.

It may have been forward, but at the time, you believed that you could keep it.

But, that was before all this started.

"Ahsoka, you're avoiding the question."

"I'm not, I answered it." You snapped.

"Okay, fine, I-" just then his com beeped. His non-government, personal one, and at once you knew who it was. "Oh, sorry, Snips. I'll be right back." And with that he was running off to answer it.

You slumped outside the temple doors. "Why the hell does he just carry that around?" You said bitterly. You held your knees to your chest with your arms, burying your face in them as your entire body warmed with anger, soaking through your brain like a sponge, leaking and dripping clear to your toes. Some of the anger decided to collect in your stomach, tossing and twisting your guts, but most of it stayed in your mind, sloshing around and hitting the perimeters and walls of your brain, sending waves of throbbing aches through your temples. A new emotion seeped in through the cracks, this one cool versus hot, and it mixed with anger and morphed into an uneasy feeling in your temples. Then it made a path straight to your heart, swelling and staying there until you your chest ached.

The new feeling was called jealousy.

Before you knew it, he was jogging back to you. How long had you been sulking there? Whatever. Didn't matter.

"Snips?" You heard him call.

You felt his large hand cupping your shoulder. You fought the urge to shove it off.

"Ahsoka, c'mon. Let's go back to the temple. We'll skip training for today."

How nice of you to pretend you care.

With that thought you stood and bolted into the temple, down the long hallways and into the safety of your quarters, where you flopped on your bed, shoved your face into a pillow, and thought about why you should even live anyways….