Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NANA, it belongs to Yazawa Ai.
Authors Note: Hello my dear reader, how are you doing? This is a story that pop in mine mind to give a little heart to Takumi. I know that to some people he is the bad-man on the story, but for me he is the most realistic individual of the whole series. And think what he lost in order to take care of business with Hachi, even if her child might not be his. So please read and review, even if your comments are harsh. Ms. Peka2010
Takumi's e-mail confessions
It is 1:30 AM in the morning and everyone in the house is asleep. Well I haven't slept since I got this email address: .UK. This is her address, the woman that I destroy her life. I don't want to be dramatic but there is no other way of say it. I confess that I have destroyed three women's life, and I do regret it. So here I am at this early morning, opening my email account, and opening a new email. Title of email… Hi There! No, deleted it. How about: Please Read This Email, Stella. These are my confessions to you. At least it is a start, I think. Now how about the body:
Hello, Stella. Please don't delete this email. It was hard to get it from your e-mail address. Why am I writing this e-mail? I saw you at Hayden Park sitting on a bench and memories had come to my restless mind. I member the first time I meet you. You were smiling and your blond hair shone like sun light on that day of grey winter day. I didn't know what to do. Whatever I said in English it doesn't matter anymore and it didn't matter them. For you hugged me in a very un-Japanese matter. I remember that you wanted to say "It is nice to meet you cousin," but what you said was not it. Regardless of that your Japanese was better than Reira's. I still don't know how it happened but I felt in love with you. Maybe it was your sweetness that moved me or was you maturity. I loved our first kiss on the beach wall near Ren's place. It was at night and it was cold, but the moon and the star had come out just to provide ligth to out kiss. I still can taste the salt in the air and in your lips. I need to confess this memory it's my most cherish memory. Since I am in confession mode here is a list of them:
I regret not making out first time together more special than just the backroom of a theater. Sorry will never be enough.
I don't regret making you stay in Japan, knowing that your dream was to move here, London, after high school. I know you were very happy with me at that small apartment. Or those heated night would never had been saw into my memories. I confess I remember our first kiss in the tower. You looked amazing with that pink dress; it showed your woman figure.
I really regret not calling you on your birthday. Basically I regret having you put on the second spot on my list of priorities. You should always be number 1. I confess I was coward that day you left to England. I wanted to ask you to marry but I thought about my career and Trapnest.
I regret to fool around with many girls before you left, after you left and after you asked me to behave for the good of me family. But above all I really mess up with Nana and the baby.
My biggest confession is that I regret that you are not my wife and the mother of mine children. I am still in love with you. Our last day together I didn't wanted to leave you, but if I had seen your blue eyes I would not has the strength to make thing right.
I think this is all I wanted to say. There are probably more things, confession, memories to tell, but I cannot put them into writing. Seeing you on the park made me realize that at one point in my life someone cared for me. You care about me your: Ian Portman, a half Japanese and English. Not even my wife knows that little secret. Any ways has your life been? Please Stella answer back, so we can meant and share our life as old friends. I hope to hear from you soon. Love, Ian.
P.S. DON'T DELETE & ANSWERED BACK
I click send and see the lights of the corridor turn on. The dark that keeps secrets safe dies and so no secrets came to light. I know that I any moment someone is going to asked me why I am up at this hour. I think I will have to lie, once again. I do hope that my lies will never be catch. I hear tiny steps getting close and it's my wife: Nana. She looks at me, says nothing and continues to the kitchen. I hear that she has opened the drinking water fosse. Comes out and gives me a kiss on my cheek on her way to the room. I wait for her to turn off the light and tears pop out of my eyes. Salty, cold, wet tears an event that has never been seen by people and has only happened once. What is for that simple sweet gesture or it was because it brought me memories of a happy Reira back in our hometown or was it because of memories of Stella doing the same thing thousands of moons ago. And for whatever reason I got up and left to work, at 3:01 a.m. nothing new really.
3:02 a.m. North London
In a room where a mother and child sleep very peacefully the beep of a BlackBerry awakes the mother. She tries to not awake her only child, and sits on the bed. Opens her company's e-mail folder and there was his name: Takumi Ichinose. She gets up and walks to the bathroom. Opens the email and starts to read it and the feelings she has been secretly hiding abrupt, destroying every single wall of protection she had built over ten years. He still loves her and she does love him. At the end she reads: DON'T DELETE& ANSWERED BACK. She does so and hugs her phone between her breasts.
"I am sorry Takumi, but I think I can never be your friend," Stella says on a whisper. "If we became friend and you meet our son what would happened to your beautiful family. It is better this way." She has denied her son: Benedict, the chance to meet his dad and his half siblings. She knew that someday she will regret this, but she also knew that Takumi was not and will never be her own. And now as mature woman she doesn't have the heart to share one man with other woman. Tamumi Ichinose will never get and answer to his email. Stella gets up off the floor and walks back to her bed, and find her slepp very easily.