NOTE: Thanks to Wuchel1 for letting me borrow a couple of her characters for this fic! :)
Detective Lionel Fusco is not in a good mood.
An NYPD detective reduced to catering to an animal. Can't get much worse than this…dog-sitting! But how's he to get out of this duty? Not like he can just turn the canine loose, or take it to the pound. If he were still married he could have nominated Lee to take care of it…but… And Carter only laughed at him when he suggested that she might like to take the animal home with her. After all, Taylor would like a dog, wouldn't he? But evidently, though his partner may agree on that point, she's still not willing to help out.
The last time he was assigned to baby-sit it was on orders from the Professor, and it was for a leggy model. Now that he had no problem with…though he did end up getting shot at trying to protect her from the Armenian thugs! But it was worth it. Oh, yeah, it was worth it!
But this?
And jeez! How big a bladder does that dog have anyway? Must be the size of Rhode Island. The fur pack has been stopping at just about every tree, bush, pole…in fact, at anything that's upright or leaning more than a 45 degree angle from the ground. There can't be anymore pee left, even if he's just dribbling a drop or two at each spot…!
Fusco pulls on the leash as a signal to move things along, but Bear, fascinated by whatever scent has been left on the outside of a park trash bin, blatantly ignores the tugs. Like he knows the chubby cop is not going to pull any harder because…well...chubby cop is smart that way. Chubby cop knows the dog is military trained and has a large mouth full of sharp teeth as a weapon.
So if Bear wants to sniff there, Bear gets to sniff there.
The cop is willing to bet however, that Wonder Boy only has to snap his fingers and the dog will obey immediately. Mmm, yeah. That actually seems to work for him with people too…
Finally Bear, satisfied at having completely parsed the pee-mail on the trash can, moves back to the sidewalk. Their progress on this park walk has been so agonizingly slow, Fusco has finally accepted that he will not be joining his buddies for a beer at the end of this shift. The shift that ended twenty minutes ago.
And he curses the stupid little con-man for the umpteenth time.
"Hey, look man…I need you to take this dog off my hands for a while!"
Yep. That's how it started. Leon "whatever his last name", showed up at the precinct with Reese's dog in tow. And while Fusco didn't share the reaction, Bear was enthusiastic in his greeting of the cop, evidently remembering Fusco had shared his falafel with him the last time he was roped into dog-sitting.
"How'd you end up with Mr. Deadly's dog, Leon?" he'd asked.
"Well…he called. Said I had to take Bear for a few days while he and Finch took care of some business. And you know he's not exactly a guy you refuse…!"
Fusco nodded. Oh, yeah. That part he understood perfectly. "So why the hand-off…and why me?"
Leon shuffles a bit, turns his head right, then left, as though the precinct walls had grown ears. The little man is visibly nervous about something. Then apparently satisfied there are no eavesdroppers around, he replies in a stage whisper, "Yeah, well…I have this small problem. Just a little one. I'll have it cleared up in no time, no time at all. But right now I need to lay low. And having this dog around is a bit of an issue, you know?"
Fusco snorts. So the idiot has gotten caught. Again. The guy never seems to learn. "So what is it this time? Advance fee scam…phishing…bad checks?"
"No way, man!" Leon retorts, obviously insulted. "Those are just…lame!" He edges closer, and explains in a low voice, "Investments. Gold coins. That's where it's at these days."
"Good to know. And by the way, you do remember I'm a cop, right?"
"Yes! And that's why you need to keep the dog for me. They're threatening to kill me if I don't pay up by Friday! I figured you could…like…keep him while I run down some cash."
"Riiight. So why me, and not Carter?"
"Why…? Are you not listening to me? These guys are serious! They don't think much of women and wouldn't think twice about killing one, even a cop. But you're a guy…and a cop!"
He hands the leash to Fusco and starts backing away.
"Now wait a minute! I never said I'd do this..!" But he's talking to an empty space, the little man already out the door and gone, leaving Bear looking up at him expectantly.
"Ya know dog, that guy is about as big a pain in the ass as your owner!"
And thus he's been the surrogate keeper of this canine for the last two days. Not a word from Leon, and of course no word from Mr. Happy or the Professor. He even tried calling the Duo, and since the number shows unavailable, it's obvious they aren't interested in talking to him. And the ribbing he's had to take at the precinct! Wonder Boy is going to pay and pay big for this favor!
Not that he doesn't like dogs, it's just his life is not much geared towards that. Not anymore, not since the d-i-v-o-r-c-e. He'd had a house once with a yard, but now…a crummy two bedroom apartment is all he can afford. With a bed that's currently shared with this large doofus who takes up more than his half! And of course convincing the animal to stay off his bed was an exercise in futility! He'd tried in vain to get the dog to stay in the extra bedroom – Lee's room. Even offered permission for the dog to get up on the mattress, but it was no use...whatever room he was in, so was the dog!
He trudges on, allowing Bear to pretty much lead the way while he grumbles to himself about life's inequities. He's ready to be relieved of this duty, like now already. Fusco can't really see any advantage in having this animal around…
"Oh, isn't he beautiful! " He turns around to find a bosomy blond staring at Bear, her wide blue eyes full of appreciation for the dog.
"What's his name?" she asks in a breathy voice reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe. Come to think if it, she did kinda look like the sexy bombshell.
"Bear. His name is..is Bear." Fusco stutters, valiantly reminding himself to keep his eyes above the woman's collarbosom…bone! Collarbone.
"Is it all right if I pet him? I just love big dogs!" she gushes, reaching for the animal before Fusco can answer. Fortunately for him, Bear like his master, is a quick study of human character, and whatever conclusion the canine has come to, he's seems fine with the woman running her hand over his head, though Wonderboy had always warned to offer a hand for the dog to sniff before touching him.
As she coos and fusses over the dog, Fusco takes a long leisurely tour of the blonds' attributes: long legs well displayed by the short dress, double D's threatening to overflow a low neckline top, and a nicely rounded tush.
One of the advantages of no longer being married …actually the only one he could think of right now…is that he can look all he wants, even touch, without any of that old fashioned guilt coming into play. And he sure is going to take advantage of it! The looking part anyway.
The woman fusses over Bear for a good five minutes before straightening up, much to Fusco's chagrin. After some breathy goodbyes along with blown kisses to the dog, she's on her way, tottering down the park path on impossibly high FM heels, her cotton candy blond hair bouncing in rhythm to her backyard swing. The chubby cop watches mesmerized, until she moves out of sight around the path's bend. Bear patiently waits at the end of the leash, his puzzled look clearly telegraphing that he found most human behavior just weird.
Fusco sighs. That was nice. Sure better than watching a dog pee on a bush. The thought is barely out of his skull before Bear is pulling him along again, this time to a park water fountain, where the animal stops and stands waiting expectantly.
"What? I'm supposed to lift you up there? No way, José!" Fusco exclaims. "You go find a puddle or something!" Bear continues to stare at him.
"Poor baby! You'd make him drink some filthy polluted water?"
He swings around, almost colliding with a young woman holding the leash attached to her own pet. Some kind of poofy dog. Poodle maybe. And while he may disdain the dog, there is certainly nothing about the woman to criticize! Several inches shorter than himself, she has a mop of curly red hair with fair skin and freckles sprinkled over her nose declaring the color all hers and not out of a bottle.
And, oh God. He is such a sucker for red hair. His ex-wife had… Well. Not going there for sure!
"Yeah, well, I was just kidding, ya know! Of course I wouldn't make him drink dirty water…" he replies lamely as Bear pulls him closer to the stranger, anxious to investigate the new comers. "But he's just going to have to wait till we get home. I can't lift him up…"
Bear on the other hand, seems to forgotten his thirst, and from his reaction to the other dog Fusco can only draw two conclusions. The poofy animal is no threat to the military trained canine. And two, it's a female: Bear is acting like an idiot, his tail swinging widely while he practically inhales the small poof!
"You don't have to," the redhead responds. "Here, watch this." And with that comment walks to the fountain and with a deft, obviously practiced movement, turns the facet around. Then pressing the handle he watches in fascination as a stream of water arcs over the fountain rim and splashes on the grass in front of the two dogs.
Both animals immediately respond by bounding into the spray, jostling each other for first access to the water.
"See? No problem." And with a smile, she pulls her pet out of the stream of water and resumes her walk.
"Thanks..." he mutters, watching her red mop bounce as she walks off. Then sighs again before pushing the fountain handle down once more and allowing Bear his fill.
With a final shake of his head, the dog signals he's ready to move on as Fusco awkwardly turns the facet back to it's normal position with one hand, while his opposite arm strains into a straight line extension of the leash as Bear moves quickly to the sidewalk.
"Hey, hang on a minute!" the cop grouses, attempting to get the dog back under control. "Aren't you supposed to heel or something?" Bear turns his head, fixing his button eyes on the chubby human, and Fusco is reminded of the many times Wonder Boy had given him a similar look. The two had waay too much in common for his peace of mind!
But eventually they manage a truce, one in which Fusco speeds up or slows his stride to match that of the canine and stops obligingly whenever Bear finds an item worthy of further investigation. Like every trash can, bench support, piece of litter, patch of grass…
"I say, do you own that dog?"
Fusco turns at the question about the same time Bear finishes his inspection of a 'Keep Off' sign post. And he doesn't know where to direct his notice first: the older, matronly woman in pink standing before him, or the huge horse-in-a-dog-suit next to her.
But given that the woman is glaring at him and the horse-dog is not - it being more interested in Bear - he decides the large lady-in-pink probably has first dibs on his attention.
"Actually, I don't Ma'am", he replies with all the politeness he can muster, while what he'd really like to do is yell at Bear to stop pulling his arm out of it's socket! But the canines, now busily reading each other's scent tells, are completely ignoring the humans holding their respective leashes. "I'm just taking care of him while his owners are away on business."
"Hurrumph, "she huffs. "Well, I hope for your sake that nothing happens to that dog. I know his owners, and Harold and his lovely partner are very attached to him. So you take good care of their pet!"
"Yes, Ma'am… I will."
"Good. Now come along, Ms. Fluffles." And without another word she pulls on the horse-dog's leash and resumes her walk.
Fusco simply gapes as he watches the pink ship sail down the park path, the horse-dog dingy bobbing close behind.
Harold and his lovely partner?
Oh, this is good. This is sooo good! Worth even having to dog sit!
He can hardly wait for the Dynamic Duo to get back…but now for a very different reason!
End.