hey this my first real story so sorry about any spelling or grammer reveiw i would like some feedback
"NO…" I screamed as Jack ran towards the great mass of twitching flesh that was the demon devouring Matt's body. The demon raised its blood covered face to look at me with deep, dark black eyes Matt's flesh hanging from its teeth I screamed and scrambled backwards just as Jack reached the demon he threw himself at it and started beating it with his fists, he couldn't see the long tail with the scorpions sting on the end of it I closed my eyes tight as it sped towards him and heard him scream as it imbedded itself in his back. I reopened my eyes to see Jacks lifeless body fall to the ground with a thump, I backed up even faster as it moved towards me and in my haste I tripped over a large stone landing on my back I gasped as I felt the demon s weight on my legs, I tried desperately to move to get away but it was hopeless I was stuck the demon would surly kill and eat me as it did my brothers. I smelt its breath and gagged it smelt like rotten flesh and blood, its giant mouth with three rows of teeth hovered above my and I fainted, the last thing I saw was a blinding white light as I passed into the abyss…